Obese but with pretty normal legs / arms etc but very fat, enormous belly ***Ovarian cancer diagnosis - title edited by MNHQ at OP's request***

[TwitterQueen1]

Hi
I'd be glad of any advice or personal experiences here. I am around 4 stone overweight, so definitely obese. Most of it is on my stomach though, which now looks like I'm 11 months pregnant with triplets. I'm in my 50s so this is not a possibility. It's very painful and I am short of breath when I walk etc.

I've put on a lot of weight in a short period - 10lbs in 2 months.

Six months ago I was bodyboarding in the sea, walking every day and doing an exercise class every week. Now it's a struggle to do anything.

I'm having bloods done on Friday but any ideas / comments? Am I just unlucky to pile it all on in one place?

Can I suggest you read at least a bit of a thread before posting @Corialanusburt?

Twitter - so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. How shit.

It can be hard to know what to say to friends who have had bad news - most people are just awkward, not deliberately trying to be shitty. (but 'the journey' card?? Eurgh.)

Thinking of you. Can you get the chemo starting date moved sooner? it does seem a long time to wait.

Apparently 31st is earliest consult and that's just the way it is. It does seem ages though, especially as I'm so far along. I spoke to the private health people and they were very helpful and very honest. They said that NHS processes 'just happen', even if it does seem slow. If I switch to private, there could be potential problems because the private consults have to request information and files etc, which could delay matters.

So there doesn't seem to be any benefit in going private. I will get some financial compensation if I stick with the NHS, eg £50 for each night in hospital, so I will probably do this.

I am getting bigger again though - I suspect they'll need to drain me again before chemo starts. At least it's a painless and easy thing to do.

pimmsy I'm going to take whatever they give me! I learnt that one in childbirth #1... which still makes me wince 22 years later...

Every day of waiting must seem so hard. I'm sure the hospital will do their very best. Sometimes you just have to be guided by the doctors I suppose. Still frustrating though.

I'm sorry your boss doesn't sound very sympathetic or helpful. I hope you at least have HR on your side.

Stila I hope you are making progress and feeling OK? Are you still having treatment? If so, any words of wisdom / advice will be much appreciated.

From a family experience, if you have private medical cover it might be worth at least having the consultation privately. My relative got comfort that the proposed treatment approaches by her NHS consultant and her private consultant were similar (treatment, timing and number of chemo sessions etc). Also if my relative went privately she could have someone with her during the chemo treatments which was important to her. Her NHS hospital was not able to do this.

I'm not trying to undermine your decisions just relay our experience.

She also had a delay of a few weeks from shock diagnosis (stage 4) to starting treatment. Very frustrating at the time but ultimately it was successful and she is in remission now.

I wish you all the best.

You sound quite businesslike at the moment, TQ. That's good.

Be prepared for the rollercoaster of emotions to hit at any time. It is not wrong to feel sad or scared or worried. That's human. Just accept those emotions and get through as best you can. That's all anyone can do.

And don't feel that you have to update on here at all. Only if it helps you in some way.

It does seem like a long time to wait for treatment but as others have said there are reasons and things going on in the background.

I had treatment for breast cancer last year - caught very early thankfully - and could have gone private but stayed with th NHS as they were amazing and it would only have meant having my surgery in a private hospital and as mine was Day surgery it didn't seem worth it. I had a policy that paid out if I used the NHS too and ended up with a. Ice little sum and used it to visit my best friend in Australia. Hopefully you will be able to do something similar.

MIL's sister was diagnosed with fairly advanced ovarian cancer and I think she presented similar to you - had litres of fluid drained. She had chemo and surgery and more chemo. Unfortunately she passed away last December BUT that was 15 YEARS after her initial diagnosis. Treatments and knowledge are increasing all the time. Her initial surgery was major - they had to remove a lot to get all of the tumour but they did and once she got over th surgery and chemo she was fine. She had 8 years clear before a recurrence and then had more surgery and chemo and was clear again for 5 years. There are various drug and treatment trials currently taking place that should lead to even better outcomes.

I hope it was ok to post that. Obviously the initial treatment wasn't a miracle cure but she had 15 years after her diagnosis. And if she was diagnosed now she may well have had longer due to newer treatments etc.

Hi Twitter Just read an article here about Target Ovarian Cancer Nurse Specialist helpline: standardissuemagazine.com/health/target-ovarian-cancer-theres-always-someone-talk/

Hopefully you already know about this, but if its someone else to answer your questions, listen and be there then every little can help.

Hi Twitter have not posted before but have been reading your thread. What shit news so far. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this. You must be out of your mind with the worry underneath all of this bravado. You may have to do that for the girls, but not here. Here you can let it all out and curse and swear and shout. We're here, apostrophes or not.

The practical matters:

I cannot stress the imprtance of a note taker at each and every appointment or phone call. Hard job, but oh so necesssary. We hear what we want - and our brain is very good at closing our ears when it is all too much.

Talk: tell the people around you how you want it all to be discussed, and when you don't. You will change your mind over time, that's okay too. Just let folks know what you want. This is all about you.

Appoint an official Updater: telling this long sad tale is very wearing, for everyone and most especially for you. Telling it over and over again is torture. Let one person be the town crier.

There are others with so much information that you may or may not want, but I offer these first.

And flowers and

Oh twitter I've just caught up. I'm so sorry about your news. I am sending you all the very best through your computer screen

Hi twitter just wanted to throw canabis oil and gerson in there may be worth a look i have read good things about them.

Thanks for the advice here folks. 2017 sounds like you have personal experience. I hope you are OK. You're so right about appointing an official updater - I am sick of it already.

It was weird yesterday... I had a couple of flashes where, just for a microsecond, I thought I was 'normal', that this cancer stuff was happening to someone else, not me.

I'm back working today and beginning to grasp the idea that I am still me and that this shit is just something else I have to deal with, that although it will change a lot of things it won't fundamentally change me..... (except maybe helping me to be more patient and to appreciate every day..)

Hi Twitter, here's a nice article about fasting and chemotherapy

Hi Twitter,

It won't change you. You'll still be you. Or it'll change you in good ways.
My cancer actually helped me feel so loved. I hadn't really realised it, I'd allways felt a bit unloved, or not as loved as others. And being sick made me realise that people do care for me. And that as shit as it was at the time, is a nice feeling to have now.

Also, I've always been very body aware and a bit uncomftable even as a small size ten. I had a lot of Prednisolone in my chemo that made me gain quite a bit of weight (very unfair given that I was eating fuck all.).
Last summer I was on a beach surrounded by lots of beautiful bodies feeling very self aware, and a bit upset, and then all of a sudden I had this sort of flash in my head. And I thought, well yeah, my tummy isn't flat and my thighs are a bit wobbly, but this body, my amazing body, has been through so much shit and is still here. And I thought, I have the most amazing body on this beach, maybe not everyone knows... but I do.
It is hard to see the light through the shit when it's all being thrown at you. But there is light.

Good luck for work today.

Pimmsey, that's lovely. Completely lovely.

Thankyou Cheddar!

Twitter,

I hope you have some nice things planned for the weekend.

💐

TQ. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.

I don't know if this will be helpful, but here goes. My mum died when I was the age your eldest is. I was also 36 weeks pregnant. It was horrific, I screamed, I cried, I was very angry.

14 years on, I miss her every day. But I'm fine, I'm happy, I enjoy life, I have a dad who sounds better than your ex, but he's not a mum. My aunties took over a lot of Mum duties.

If I could tell my mum anything, it would be that she didn't have to spend the last weeks of her life worrying about us. We're ok. We miss her horribly, but life goes on, and is terrible, boring and wonderful, as it was before. Young people are amazingly resilient.

Mum had brain cancer btw. Really hope the chemo shrinks your mass and they can get the bugger out. Wishing you all the very best for the future.

Morning twitter. Just wanted to say I hope you are facing a lovely mothers day morning.

You are right, you'll always be you and no one will ever be youer than you. I think that Dr Seuss but I love that saying. X

Happy Mothers Day Twitter

Thinking of you on Mother's Day twitter

Hello twitter hope you spent some good time with your DC today. Happy mothers day

Best wishes TQ.

Just wondered if you might want to hit report and get the thread title edited? You've got plenty of other things to think about but while it's like this, you will get occasional people posting thinking it's about weight.

Hi Twitter, so sorry to hear that your news was so scary. I hope that everything goes as well as it possibly can in the next weeks and months.

One thing I thought of when other posters have talked about note takers is that it may be worth asking your consultant if s/he'd be OK with recording your consultation. I used to work in breast screening and one of the consultants encouraged all his patients to record their meetings with him. He was a fantastic doctor and it might be something some doctors would be uncomfortable with, but as others have said it's very difficult to even listen to everything when you are most likely feeling very shocked, let alone remember it. Might be worth asking the medical secretary in advance so that the doctor can think about the request and understand why you are asking as I don't know if it's at all widespread as a practice (I've not been in the medical world for a few years, and there could be a worry about legal implications now).