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Let's love our livers!!!!.................(previously dependant drinkers thread)

102 replies

dandycandyjellybean · 13/02/2007 11:08

Tried to post yesterday and couldn't coz it told me that there was no more room. So hope you guys don't mind that I started a new one, apologies for the lame name. And guess what guys, I decided to join the down your drink programme today, as I really want to do something positive about my drinking rather than just repeatedly beating my head against the bottle and then moaning about how much it hurts - physically and metaphorically!!!!
Several things factor in this, I've had quite a break in the last few days as I've had a disc in my back go, and have had to rely on other people to do a great deal of my usual work load. Hence I feel so much better in my head, and it has given me a bit of time and space to think. Plus, am about 3 weeks into my counselling which has had some really positive results too, in helping me to analyse both myself and my situation and find solutions instead of just keep drowning my feelings.
I was also reflecting yesterday that although completely turning around my relationship to alcohol probably won't be ease, this is something that I must be able to do, because I've done it twice before in my life, with other things I've had big issues with.
Firstly, had a really messed up relationship with food for a very long time, and was bulimic for quite a while in my late teens / early twenties. But after a bit of a pathetic suicide attempt put the wind up me, I made a massive change in my eating, told myself I would never diet again, ever, and allowed myself to eat anything I wanted, in the quantites that I wanted and never to deny myself anything again. Yes i did put weight on, quite a lot initially, but it has levelled out over the years, and I can honestly say that I have one of the healthiest relationships with food now of almost anyone I know (especially most of my 'thin' friends).
Secondly, about 4 years ago a very beloved uncle of mine (more like a dad really) died of an aortic anyuerism at 50, and I realised that I was a heart attack waiting to happen if I didn't shift the last of my weight. However, not wanting to diet, I knew that exercise was the only answer. However, just like the dieting, i had tried every exercise fad under the sun and had never stuck to any of them. So, when I announced after my Uncle's funeral that I was going to buy an exercise bike, my lovely dh replied 'you're not spending any more money on exercise equipment that you will only drape your clothes over after the first week!' guess he knows me well. [hlush]. Anyway that was enough to make me think, 'I'll bloody show him!' and so I started swimming 3 or 4 times a week. At first it was sheer bloody mindedness that kept me going, but once i had been doing it for a few weeks I realised that not only did I enjoy it, but it really helped my head (gave me space and time to think). In fact I wrote a book during this time, and I came up with most of my best plot twists whilst pounding up and down the pool.
Consequently, I am now someone who exercises regularly, and have been for the last four years (I even swam 3 times a week all through my pregnancy and only stopped at 38 weeks when they banned me from the pool!!!) Surely, if I can change those things, I can finally, and permanently, get this other monkey off my back.
And just to round off all of this, I was looking at my recycling box out of the kitchen window this morning and it was a bit of a Gillian McKeith 'shame' moment! It is emptied every 2 weeks and there were so many whiskey and wine bottles in there (and I know I've secreted some in the bin in moments of shame!) So, I'll let you know how I get on. (Softstuff, you have been a big motivating factor too, have followed your story on previous threads and feel so incredibly pleased for you and proud of you that you have managed to make such a drastic change, and I figure if you can do it, so can I!!!)
I will bring this long ramble to a close by saying hang in there everyone, and how grateful I am that we all have each other for support. Please, please join me here, and let's keep it up.
{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}

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dandycandyjellybean · 21/02/2007 21:26

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hellobello · 22/02/2007 12:24

You jammy jammy thing, you! Sleep?? What's that?? I'm not sleeping that well and I start listening for people's breathing. I think the lack of sleep is making me fat (for me). Dh isn't sleeping that well either. I keep telling him that it's hard work looking after children! My great aunt has died. She was 90. She was kind to horses for 60 years, but I think she became disillusioned with humans. What am I going to be like? I'm disillusioned with humans already!

kokeshi · 22/02/2007 13:54

Hello all, just a wee quick message to se hi. great cubby that you're feeling so postive, what an inspiration you are. Long may it continue!

I got to bed at 5am and I agree hellobello that a disrupted sleeping pattern affects my eating/ appetite/compulsiveness. So sorry to hear about your aunt.

Hidesit...welcome to the thread! It;s great that you're here, hope you feel you can share honestly. If any of us can help we'll be there for you. Don't be offended if your posts don't get answered wight away, we all seem to have different schedules.

Flowertop, hang in there babe and keep posting. Thinking of you.

I'm really tired, have workmen in re-doing my bathroom. Plus point to no hearing - I can grab a quick snooze of the couch uninterrupted by drilling and banging!

Take care all, kx

hidesitinthecupboard · 22/02/2007 14:33

Your aunt sounds like she was lovely hellobello. I sometimes have trouble having any faith in the human race too. But with my screwed up family that is not surprising I suppose!

Thanks kokeshi, nice to have people who can relate!

Hi Cubby, read your post on previous thread. Must have made you feel better being able to talk about it on here. Have some stories myself that I am ashamed of.

Did however manage a completely alcohol free night last night! Very proud of me!

Also have college enrollment tonight so can't drink before I go and won't be in till 9ish so should be able to manage tonight too!

kokeshi · 22/02/2007 19:15

That's great hiitc! Well done for enrolling in college too, that should give you something to concentrate on, a distraction from the drink is always a good thing.

Let us know how you got on x

hellobello · 22/02/2007 20:17

Dh is out at college tonight too. I'm not drinking as I may have to go and pick him up. He's upset and worried about not working. This is normal. I was furious that he didn't bother to tell me that he couldn't take the dogs out. Poor dogs. This is what he does and it drives me mad. He says he'll do things then nothing happens and he doesn't tell me, so I'm left expecting something to happen. It is so disappointing.

Dh and I are trying not to drink during the week, especially since neither of us are working (not on benefits either). It could get really depressing if we did. I hope your enrolment goes well, Hidesit. What are you going to study?

hidesitinthecupboard · 22/02/2007 20:38

Well I am back from enrolment at college, and have managed to pass lots of shops and come in empty handed! (Needed some Diet Coke (my second crutch) but if I had gone in to buy it the temptation would probably have been too much).

Been a registered childminder since September and am carrying on from qualification that was needed to register.

Note - feel the need to point out that I don't drink when minded children are here, but as I presently only have 1 minded child who leave at 2pm still grab a bottle after school run! Did manage to wait to crack open the wine till 6:30pm in the half term though as was minding another child just for that week.

I am rather short of funds at the moment which depresses me, but generally makes me buy another bottle which I REALLY can't afford! Well done to you and your Dh for sticking to it.

hellobello · 22/02/2007 20:45

It's only tonight, and as I mentioned before, we spent a boozy weekend with my parents until Monday, so this is only my 2nd night without alcohol. I feel like jamming loads of nicotine down my throat though. Too bad on that front too. I've run out! Good for you, Hidesit! Diet Coke does things, doesn't it! I like to drink fizzy water by the gallon, but we don't have any of that at the moment either. I'm going to watch Hotel Babylon, so night all!

hidesitinthecupboard · 23/02/2007 14:27

Yesterday was only my second night without alcohol too, so your doing as well as me, and have to admit that making it 3 nights is going to be a struggle!

Have to go back to my sh!tty horrid weekend job tomorrow which I really REALLY hate, and just the thought of it is making me crave a bottle of wine!

I really think that I would be a complete wreck if I didn't allow myself diet Coke! I couldn't cope. DP can't understand me opening a can of coke at 6:30 in the morning when DS wakes me up but I need it! Daren't point out that I'm only having coke cause we have no vodka (sorry, bad joke).

Nicotine never been a vice of mine, but my Mum has been told to stop smoking by several doctors for several medical reasons but still can't, so do understand the addictiveness (is that a word?) of it!

Hope Hotel Babylon was good, we watched Texas Chainsaw Masacre; The Beginning! Very gory and rather gross in places!!!! The nausea stopped me making myself anything to eat anyway!

Flowertop · 26/02/2007 12:03

hI all, had a bad weekend - well brilliant socially but not good for the liver. Had my sister and niece over as DH was away and we cracked open a few bottles. Cubby looked on the website and answered the questionnaire but can't find any quizzes or anything. Can you please show me the direction. Thanks. HIITC and Hellobello you have both done really well to have gone 2 nights without - how's it going? I think I told you that my pal is dying and she has two little ones. Tomorrow night she wants me to go and see her and DH to discuss what it was like for me when my mum died (i was 9). She wants to know how she can prepare best for the kids and the dos/don'ts. I just feel awful and have massive butterflies because I so want to do it right and say the right thing. Sorry to digress but just wanted to share this with you all. You may have some suggestions. Hope you are ok Kokeshi, Cubby and all you other brave people coping with life and its ups and downs.
XX

dandycandyjellybean · 26/02/2007 19:58

Flowertop, just a real quickie, will do general post again later. Once you have answered the questionnaire it then asks
Would you like to use Down Your Drink, and help us with our research evaluating how well the website works? Answer yes to this and all the following Q's and it lets you register and take part in the research. You are basically consenting to being a part of their research (anonymously obviously) and it all feels a bit clinical to begin with, but once you get registered it's brill. HTH.

OP posts:
dandycandyjellybean · 26/02/2007 21:59

So, how is everyone? I'm just off to bed as I'm totally knackered (ds has been teething the last 2 days and sleep has been out the window, so I'm exhausted). Hope you're all hanging in there. Doesn't matter where you are with stuff, just keep posting. Lots of love {{{{{hugs}}}}}

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hellobello · 26/02/2007 22:11

Night all! I've just been out with dh for supper, and guess what?!!! We didn't have any wine, or anything alchoholic!!! I'm so shattered I nearly went to sleep at the table,so I'm off to bed. Hope everyone's ok. I had a bit of a liver-bashing weekend too.

Flowertop · 27/02/2007 12:30

Hi all, did not drink last night - just thought I would share that with you.
Hope you are all ok.
XX

dandycandyjellybean · 27/02/2007 22:06

flowertop, hellobello, you guys are all doing so very very well. Have a big cyber hug and a massive pat on the back. Hopefully catch up with you all tomorrow.

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hidesitinthecupboard · 28/02/2007 20:37

Well I have failed miserably! Have had alcohol every night since Friday, only managed the two nights off after all and am extremely ashamed of myself.

Only 17 days till my birthday party for which I wanted to lose at least half a stone, and I know that the only way I can do that, and get any confidence and self belief, is to stop drinking so much. I know that the alcohol knocks my confidence and makes me feel generally shittier about myself (although have enough reasons to feel crap, believe me) but just can't seem to stop drinking. It is the crutch I need to focus on to get me through each day. Sounds pathetic doesn't it!

Anyway, college tomorrow night and won't be in till 9:30 so should at least be able to manage one night!?????!?!?!??! Fingers crossed for me?!

Well done flowertop and hellobello!
XX

dandycandyjellybean · 28/02/2007 21:08

Hi hidesit.., please don't feel that you've failed, or that you should feel ashamed. Dwell on the positive, it sounds as though two days without a drink is a real achievement actually, so give yourself a massive pat on the back! You said in your first post that you were drinking a bottle of wine a night, so to go for two whole nights without any at all is FANTASTIC!!!! Don't let the fact that you have struggled for the past few days outweigh that. Just feel very proud of yourself for having managed what you did. Try not to focus on weight loss either, that will come with time, as you cut down and discover other ways of coping (you mentioned drinking as a crutch, believe me, i'm with you there, girl!). Half a stone is only 7 pounds, nothing in the big old scheme of things. Go and treat yourself to a new outfit (after all you saved at least the price of 2 bottles of wine last week), one that fits you now, not in half a stones time, and plan to have a really great time. Decide that you will look drop dead gorgeous, and even if you don't feel it, you will pretend as though you do. Came across a good quote the other day:
'Dance like there's nobody watching, sing like there's nobody listening, love like you've never been hurt.'
In this case i think it should read
'Dance like you feel a million dollars, sing like you're Diana Ross and party like you've never been drunk!'

HTH.

Hope everyone else is doing well. Am working through my stuff on dyd and am really feeling as though I'm getting somewhere. [[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]]]]]

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Flowertop · 01/03/2007 11:10

HIITC - don't beat yourself up. Believe me I know how 2 days without drink is so hard. You have done brilliantly and if you can do it once you will do it again. I think it's how you feel on the day. Sometimes I just can't do without it and have to have my daily dose. If I'm feeling stronger then like you did I can do it. Focus on what you have done and look forward to your party.
Cubby - you sould so positive and happy almost like a different peron. REally pleased for you. Can I have some of what you are having.
Kokeshi - Are you ok?
Hi to everyone and hope you are doing ok.
XX

dandycandyjellybean · 01/03/2007 21:01

Hi all. Flowertop, thanks for your lovely comment, it really made me smile. I can't beleive how differently I do feel, and ironically, (are you reading this hidesit?) my actual drinking levels aren't that much different at the moment. I certainly haven't had any alcohol free days yet and have had a couple of fairly bad ones. But, I religiously keep recording my drinking every day, and my thoughts and feelings, and working through the exercises. it is helping me to be 'concious' about my drinking...i.e. not just throwing it down my throat, thinking about each glass that i pour / drink. and as i am a very 'all or nothing' kind of person, i gave myself a hard time at the start that i wasn't instantly giving it up. However, as i worked through the exercises i realised that isn't what the first phase of the program is all about. it gives you lots of facts about drinking (some of which shocked even me, hardened boozer that I am), and also helps you to think about the upsides and downsides to what you are doing, and analyse honestly why you do it.
Being honest about the amount i'm drinking each day is interesting, i always knew roughly, (by the amount of empty whiskey bottles in the recycling bin by the end of a fortnight - frightening!!!) but facing yourself with the units on a daily basis is sobering, if you'll pardon the pun!
Sorry, i really don't want to turn this into 'let's all join down your drink' it's just that i have never felt this truly positive about changing my drinking, ever!

Hope you are all hanging in there - don't sweat the struggles, just keep being positive about the small triumphs.

Kokeshi, how are you doing? Hope things are okay with you.

Hugs all [[[[[[[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

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dandycandyjellybean · 01/03/2007 21:41

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kokeshi · 02/03/2007 03:26

Hi guys...cubby, flowertop, hellobello hiitc, losty and everyone else on the thread. Just checking in briefly because it's stupid o'clock again and I should be in bed. You're all doing great guys. It's one day at a time, forget about failures, next week and next month...all we have is today. Concentrate on the moment, this day, 24 hours. If you don't like how this one's gone, there's a new one just round the corner.

Take care. I'll write more soon.

take care all, kx

hellobello · 02/03/2007 13:02

You sound really positive, Cubby. Well done! Neither of us have drunk much since Sunday when we knocked back nearly a bottle of wine each. I've drunk a glass of wine and 1/2 a tin of beer since then. I feel much more in control and much better. I've been quite ill this week that may just have something to do with things - I think (hope) it's just a tummy bug. It just hurts a lot.

My brother thinks my dad is an alcoholic. He is certainly a heavy drinker, but not living with my parents, I don't know to what extent he drinks on a regular basis, or if he could stop easily.

hidesitinthecupboard · 02/03/2007 22:07

Hi all, thanks for your support! (Made me chuckle cubby ).

Came down with bug that the kids have had yesterday (D&V) so no alcohol at all, and not felt upto it today either! Hopefully that will help shift a pound or too (although admitedly not in a very pleasant way).

I know that I should try to focus on one thing at a time and that the drinking should come first, but I would be kidding myself if I said that the weight and the drinking weren't directly connected!

And I wish that 7lb was all I had to lose! More like 3 stone!!! Just thought that by losing the first 7lb for my birthday party, I may be less inclined to start crying to people about how much I hate myself when pissed on the night (which I do frequently and is probably why I have no friends).

Anyway, I am unfortunately well enough now to be back at my horrid job tomorrow. But have been invited out by DP's sister tomorrow night, where I shall be enjoying a 'few' alcoholic beverages, but in the company of others, and without having to hide it in the cupboard!

Hope you all have a great weekend XX

dandycandyjellybean · 03/03/2007 22:23

hi all, hope you're doing okay. i'm okay if a little shattered. however, am grateful for the fantastic sunshine we've had today, isn't it brilliant when the sun shines? it makes the whole world a more lovely place to be, doesn't it? we have mega flooding were i am, there are roads closed and fields covered with water, but i must admit it makes for fabulous viewing, it is so totally beautiful. and what about this moon eclipse? have just been checking it out with my dh's telescope, i can't get over how fabulous it looks.

How you all doing anyway? hope you are all hanging in there. despite how it might appear, i'm not pissed and happy, just really feeling grateful for every little thing today, and i have to say it feels wonderful. have really been making an effort to see the massive positives in life rather than all the millions of tiny little negatives, and i can't believe how much difference it makes to how i feel.

anyway, will sign off now before i make all of you puke!!!!

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kokeshi · 03/03/2007 22:41

Hey cubby, so glad you're feeling at peace... you sound fantastic. What an inspiration xx

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