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Original poster

I'm being taken over by Anorexia

75 replies

takenoverbyanorexia · 08/02/2007 19:25

Oh God....

I suffered from anorexia for 13 years from early childhood, I managed to fight it and keep it at bay for the last 5 years but recently (about the last 3 days) I can feel it comming back with revenge

I so don't want to fall back into its grasp. I have two babies and I'm a loan parent so I have to be there for them. Its just gripped me so tight I cant see it letting go. I don't want any docors or anyone to know or they wont think I'm a fit parent! I don't know what to do.

When I was 9 years old I only weighed 3 stone! I don't think my body could take another bout

OP posts:

FioFio · 08/02/2007 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Saturn74 · 08/02/2007 19:33

You need to seek medical help and advice urgently.
Your children need you to be well, and you need you to be well.

Original poster

takenoverbyanorexia · 08/02/2007 19:37

I'v heard so many stories about when your ill and social services come and take the children claiming your unfit or you have a mental health problem. I don't want them to think I cant cope, I don't want them to take my children away, I'm totally on my own

Theres been so much talk about anorexia recently I watched Skins where there was a girl called Cassy - I realised I watched it 3 times in awe! then when I logged onto mn everyone was talking about size 0 models. Its in my head and I'v found myself back there - In the last 3 days all I'v had is Jacobs crackers!

OP posts:

LadyMacbeth · 08/02/2007 19:43

Um, well takenover I think you have a choice here... you can either NOT see a doctor and let yourself get taken over again, finally allowing your body to become weak and unable to cope therefore giving medical professionals every reason to believe you can't cope.

You can do the adult and responsible thing and go and speak to a doctor about it, stating your feelings firmly and asking for some counselling before it gets too bad. This will show willingness on your part to do what is best for yourself and your children.

Sorry if I seem harsh but I think you have every reason to seek help. Good luck I'm thinking of you.

Hillary · 08/02/2007 20:08

I posted on another thread and I think you guys will probably have realised by what I wrote it's me!

So Yes its me

PeachyClair · 08/02/2007 20:14

Ah yes, the cardigan woman! Did wonder.....

I'm really sorry to hear this . I also survived bullaimia but yes, I get times when I feel it coming back- have ben fortunate enough not to go there though.

A close friend of mine (not her are you?) is in the same postion: 2 children lone aprent, she's now at the stage where she passes out suddenly due to the amount of damage she has done to herself. She knows its not safe for the children and they cannot go to their Dad (trust me they cant) so she is very afraid.

You need to talk to the eating disorders peolpe- here for supprt, and your GP. Youre a lot mroe likely to get through this intact if you get help early on.

Oh and most of all

Hillary · 08/02/2007 20:36

Hi Peachyclair, no i'm not her - I dont have any friends anymore, I had to move far far away from everyone to excape my violent partner so I keep myself to myself now, none of my old friends know where I am incase they let slip.

ThanQ for the link, at least this time around I can recognise it, it doesnt' make it any easier though, I know what you mean about catching it early. Its been so long but the minute you loosen your grip its got you

I feel so stupid & weak.

I try not to think about the things I have done, I'v done everything from slimming pills, over-excersising(running 12miles a day), self harming, you name it.

kokeshi · 08/02/2007 20:55

So sorry to hear you're going through this again. I think there are probably quite a few people on MN who have experienced EDs. When I was at uni I found this site . It was fab for getting support, especially if you don't have many actual friends near you. You really need some help with this, please please don't let it take hold of you again...

You're already making progress by coming on and admitting it, you must carry on asking for help. Thinking of you x

Hillary · 08/02/2007 21:00

ThanQ Kokeshi, it seems a really good site, I've been stupidly looking at the pro-anna sites! Something I won't be doing again (I hope) x

Beauregard · 08/02/2007 21:03

Hillary-I read your posts on the other thread and guessed that you had some sort of eating disorder or body issue.
Get yourself some help now!before it takes hold.
My sister killed herself because of this discease.

PeachyClair · 08/02/2007 21:05

Please don't go near the pro anorexia sites, they're awful. And very, very

Can you make an emergency appointment with your GP tomorrow?

Hillary · 08/02/2007 21:09

I'm so sorry about your sister!

My sister is very dear to me and I couldn't emagin what you feel.

I will do my best x

Beauregard · 08/02/2007 21:14

Thanks Hillary.
Dont let 'it' win.
For the sake of your children and your family find the strength you need to fight .

Hillary · 08/02/2007 21:17

My GP isn't worth getting up for!

I'v been there twice in the past and I wouldn't want to go there again, very unfriendly 'Yes What Do You' Want attitude.

I know its important but I think I'd rather change surgeries first. (not that I'm trying to put it off or anything)

Peachyclair they are very sad but you find yourself compeating with them, I used to live on them in my worst days! - I can hear in my head 'they are a real help'! - I'm scaring myslf now! they are no way helpful!

Beauregard · 08/02/2007 21:40

Hillary -with reference to your GP, are all of the Gp's at your practise unfriendly could you try seeing another ?
If that is the case then you need to register with a new GP asap!....like in the morning?
The longer you put off getting treatment ,the harder it will be but you dont need me telling you that.
Would you let us know when you have seen a Gp?

kokeshi · 08/02/2007 22:01

hillary, there's a forum on there that you can post on to and loads of links. It's a pro-recovery site and it really helped me. Every time you think of looking at the pro-ana site, post something on SF. They really are going through exactly the same thing.

Yurtgirl · 08/02/2007 22:10

Hillary - please do get some help soon
I would change surgeries if it helps - Mine is fairly awful too!

Love and hugs to you -If you have mangaged to almost beat it before Im sure you can be sucessful this time

Dottydot · 08/02/2007 22:12

Hillary - I've seen some of your posts on other threads and I was worried about you - at least you're recognising there's a problem, which is good.

Please try and get to see either another GP in your practice - or maybe ask to see the practice nurse - or go as a visitor to another practice? you're not at all stupid and weak - just the opposite, but you've got to try to get help from somewhere. Are there any support groups locally you know about?

mummylin2495 · 08/02/2007 22:15

please go and see someone urgently and get the help you need.you say you have no RL friends but we will all be your friends and you will get a lot of support from the people on mumsnet.good luck.be strong

DarrellRivers · 08/02/2007 22:29

Hillary, a big hug from me, i read your cardiagan post and then the few following.
Try and see a sympathetic GP, are there different ones at your surgery you could see instead of Dr Unhelpful.
Good luck and let us know how it goes

colditz · 08/02/2007 22:36

A tip.

Ask to see a female GP. This is your right as a female yoursaelf. say it is not something you are prepared to discuss with a male, for religious reasons.

You will get to see a GP.

Many may think this immoral, but so many doctors are dismissive of mental health problems that you have to do whatever you can to get the treatment you need.

Hillary · 08/02/2007 23:27

Thank you guys, its really good to know you are all out there

I think I'l give it a couple of days and see if I can overcome it. I'l change Dr's in the morning and if i'm still on the warm lemon water diet by Monday then I'l go to my GP.

I did a silly thing and bought some bathroom scales - which I had banned from the house. In the last week I'v managed to loose half a stone which I know isn't good - there see I'v said managed! must change must change must change.......

colditz · 08/02/2007 23:30

Go and put the scales in the bin. Now.

Hillary · 08/02/2007 23:34

Yes but if I do that then I wont know if I'm gaining - in a good way

colditz · 08/02/2007 23:46

But if you don't, it is highly unlikely that you will gain.

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