Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Abortion rate highest ever - I'm sorry I just don't buy the reason suggested for this...

875 replies

CountessDracula · 08/02/2007 11:39

"But pregnancy advice groups said the figures probably reflected poor access to contraceptive services"

What utter tosh

You can buy condoms in many loos in clubs and pubs. In any chemist or 24hour shop.

You have access to family planning clinics and doctors with free contraception

You can buy the morning after pill over the counter ffs

Shouldn't people take a bit more responsibility and get themselves to these places and get some bloody contraception?

OP posts:
Bubble99 · 08/02/2007 22:15

A woman having an abortion at 6 weeks does not trouble me greatly. I know that the Pro-Life lobby would say that this is a baby. IMO it isn't, it is a potential baby.

Third trimester abortions bother me. But I am aware that this is because I am a mother and I know how a 23 week old fetus feels kicking inside me.

Ann Furedi of BPAS has said that abortion should be provided..."As early as possible and as late as necessary."

I like her.

Caligula · 08/02/2007 22:18

What is responsible about having a baby you don't want Paula?

paulaplumpbottom · 08/02/2007 22:21

You could give it to someone who does. As I have said before there are loads of wonderful couples out there who are desperate for a baby. I know thats not an easy decision, but its the right thing to do.

Aloha · 08/02/2007 22:23

I've never had an abortion, and I'm so glad, but having a baby and giving it away would never, ever have been 'the right thing to do' for me, for a start.

Twinklemegan · 08/02/2007 22:24

God, this kind of article used to make me so upset when I was ttc. It seemed so perverse that I was desperate to be pg and couldn't, yet there were all these women out there who couldn't be bothered to use contraception properly, fell pg and then had an abortion. It still brings back all those feelings now, so actually I'm not sure I can bring much to the discussion. But I agree it's utter cr*p that there's poor access to contraceptive services. Today's youngsters should be better informed than ever before with all the sex education out there. And for older women, I'm sorry but there's no excuse for not using contraception if a pregnancy would be unacceptable. I haven't read the whole thread btw and I am not judging individuals - my opinion's been rather coloured by my experiences.

Bubble99 · 08/02/2007 22:25

Paula, AFAIK, the take-up rate of adopted children trying to find their birth mothers/fathers is at it's highest ever. Very few of these result in 'Happy Ever After' stories.

I'm curious. Do you disagree with abortion totally?

paulaplumpbottom · 08/02/2007 22:26

I'm curious why? Is it because you would worry about it? Wouldn't like someone else raising your children? I find it hard that some people say they couldn't give it up for these reasons, they care so little about it that they are terminating it so really what diffrence would it make.

paulaplumpbottom · 08/02/2007 22:27

Yes I totally disagree with it. I understand that that it would be hard for some adopted children, they want to know there real familys, but I bet if you asked them they wouldn't say they wish they had been aborted.

paulaplumpbottom · 08/02/2007 22:28

Also let me say that just because they are looking for their birth parents that doesn't mean that they are unhappy with their adoptive parents.

Caligula · 08/02/2007 22:28

Well d'you know, funny you should say that, i am in the very near future going to attend the funeral of a young man who was adopted and had serious psychological problems from his teenagehood onwards because of it. His adoptive parents were always open with him about his adoption and supportive of him finding his birth parents. They are lovely people. But their love and unselfish support just wasn't enough to get him through that awful blank feeling of knowing his mother and father had abandoned him and he has suffered years of depression as a direct result of it. And I know it's a direct result of it because he has said so. So he decided recently that he'd had enough of life, and took his. So you'll understand if I don't find your pat solution very convincing. In fact, I find it incredible that you can have gone through life without ever encountering books, magazine articles, TV programmes etc., which deal with the real heartache and anguish sometimes suffered by adopted children. It may work in some cases, but there are enough voices of adult adopted children out there to know that it is by no means an easy unproblematic solution and I find it incredible that people like you still speak in that simplistic way about it as if it's some kind of solution. It's often not a solution, just the beginning of another problem.

Bubble99 · 08/02/2007 22:31

Paula. No. I would rather terminate a pregnancy than take my chances with the UK Social Services being able to place my child with an 'appropriate' family.

paulaplumpbottom · 08/02/2007 22:31

There are just as many people who have been adopted that will tell you their lives have been great.

I'm very sorry to hear about you friend. Its hard losing someone you care about.

Heathcliffscathy · 08/02/2007 22:31

paula...adopted children often (NOT always) have massive psychological problems...how on earth do you heal the wound of knowing that your mother gave you away???

I have direct experience of this. and I'm telling you it is a troubled and very painful thing, not a cure-all solution to unwanted pregnancy.

paulaplumpbottom · 08/02/2007 22:32

You could choose the family yourself

Caligula · 08/02/2007 22:32

But do you think it was "the right thing to do" for his mother to give him to his lovely adoptive parents?

Heathcliffscathy · 08/02/2007 22:32

I'm sure that there are people that are adopted that have good lives. i've yet to meet one whose life isn't painful as a result of the adoption....however much they adore their adoptive parents.

paulaplumpbottom · 08/02/2007 22:32

I'm not saying its perfect but surely it is preferable to death.

Aloha · 08/02/2007 22:32

Well, for a start if I had a termination at six weeks, for example, I would be terminating a foetus the size of a 5p piece. Oddly enough, I don't think that is the same as a born baby that I have been pregnant with for nine months and delivered.

paulaplumpbottom · 08/02/2007 22:33

Yes

Bubble99 · 08/02/2007 22:33

That doesn't happen here in the UK, Paula.

In the USA, I believe, birth mothers have more say in where the child goes. But not here.

Caligula · 08/02/2007 22:33

ppb in the case of the young man I'm talking about, he expressed the view on more than one occasion that he wished he'd never been born.

And he meant it. He's proved it.

Heathcliffscathy · 08/02/2007 22:33

christ caligula i hadn't scrolled down and read your post when i posted...

i'm so sorry.

paulaplumpbottom · 08/02/2007 22:34

We just have to agree to disagee, I think its a life. It has a heartbeat, its growing, its alive.

Caligula · 08/02/2007 22:34

"Yes"

Yes what? That it was the right thing? Even though it was so demonstrably disastrous for the child?

paulaplumpbottom · 08/02/2007 22:35

Again I'm sorry about your friend Caligula but I just don't believe that he represents the majority.