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Original poster

DH Devastating News - prostate

99 replies

dahliaaa · 11/10/2016 13:30

I wrote a few days ago to say that DH had been called for an urgent appointment after an abnormal examination and follow up PSA test (for prostate.)
Found out today that the PSA level is 6006 (should be 4) and prostate cancer diagnosed. Too late for any surgery. Hormone treatment starting immediately. Bones scans/ biopsy etc to follow.
Dr said it will almost certainly have spread and it is incurable but they will look to try and manage if poss.
Can anyone give any hope or info?

OP posts:
Original poster
dahliaaa · 15/10/2016 15:02

Thank you for the extra replies. I'm really sorry other families are going through this.
Because the PSA I so high (6006) we have been told to expect wide spread (so not just local spread)

We see the oncology department on the 1st when all results from biopsy / bone scan/ MRI and CT will be back.

The consultation telling us about the cancer was very very short. It was with urologist and I think he just though there was no more he could do. We were just in shock.

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verystressedmum · 15/10/2016 18:35

So sorry to hear this it's a huge shock for you all.
My father had aggressive prostate cancer but it hadn't spread anywhere and although I don't know what his psa was it wouldn't have been anywhere near 6006.

Wait until you see someone else, as you don't know what your options are.
Even if it has spread it doesn't mean that there's no treatment available. It might not put it into remission totally but may keep it at bay.
Don't give up hope and keep strong Flowers

Original poster
dahliaaa · 15/10/2016 23:21

Thank you. Yes I think all we can hope for is that they are able to control it for a while but it's difficult to work out whether that might even be possible. The appointment is still two weeks away which feels forever but I know they need to do all the tests to get as much info as possible.

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WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 15/10/2016 23:36

How is your husband at the moment dahlia? Is he reasonably well in himself?

I'm sorry you've got so long to wait for the results. It's really tough not knowing what's going on Flowers

Original poster
dahliaaa · 16/10/2016 00:29

He is very shaken by it all but physically he is ok.
He has had no prostate symptoms at all.
The issue is that he has severe disc problems for a never of years which cause pain but he is very fit and so has worked round it. We now realise that this has probably masked cancer in boneSad

OP posts:
Original poster
dahliaaa · 21/10/2016 14:41

I am just posting to get thoughts out really as struggling with everything.
Further blood tests showed that PSA has increased even further in a week. It gone up to 6700 - a huge 700 in a week which is obviously indicative of the aggressiveness.
DH has now started hormone treatment and we see oncologist in 10 days.

I feel totally heartbroken by this but something else has also happened. I have found a lump in my right breast and I am terrified for our DC if that is also cancer. I have been to have it looked at and have a referral (so will be seen within 2 weeks) but just feel completely overwhelmed.
I am focussing on DH and helping him come to terms with his prognosis but I'm also so frightened for DC.

Sorry just repeating myself.

OP posts:
WhereDoAllThePokemonGo · 21/10/2016 14:46

Post here all you like dahlia, sometimes venting can really help. Sorry to hear that you have additional worries with the breast lump, and hope that it all turns out to be nothing. It sounds like you are doing an amazing job, and hopefully when your husband starts his treatment you both start to feel a bit better, as often "doing something" can feel much better than waiting to start, and watching the PSA value rise. CakeBrew for everyone!

Tanfastic · 21/10/2016 14:47

Dahliaa I didn't want to not respond although there really are no words. How devastating for you and your family to be going through this.

Glad you are getting the lump checked out. Flowers

FlapsTie · 21/10/2016 14:49

I'm so sorry, this must be so hard. I don't know if this helps or if it's even relevant but we were told when my grandad was diagnosed that far more men die WITH prostate cancer than of it. My grandad had it for twenty years and was 99 when he died of old age.

Flowers
Original poster
dahliaaa · 21/10/2016 14:54

Thank you all for replying so quickly.

Flaps sadly we have already been told that this isn't the type DH has.

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Aimtomisbehave · 21/10/2016 14:54

dahailaaa I am so sorry for all your family is going through. Flowers

It's very good that you're getting the lump checked and I understand how horribly scary this must be for you but try to remember that 90% of breast lumps are benign - and most GP's will refer you to a clinic even if they are not worried because they would be happier for you to see a specialist as they are not specialized/ do not have the right equipment to check.
Try not to worry too much about this now as there is nothing you can do right now (I know that's hard to do)

Agree with pp - venting on here can help. Hope everything goes well at the clinic

TheHobbitMum · 21/10/2016 14:56

I'm so sorry, what devastating news for you all Flowers I am pleased your getting the lump checked out xx

ColdFeetinWinter · 21/10/2016 15:06

Dahliaa Flowers This is a one day at a time situation

Look after yourself, accept all help and ask for help

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 21/10/2016 17:07

Everything crossed for your lump being harmless Flowers

I'm sorry to hear about the PSA. I really hope the hormone treatment helps to bring it under control. Sorry you still have a long wait to see the oncologist though.

Snowgeese · 21/10/2016 17:58

So sorry your family are enduring this hell Dalhiaa . I hope you have kind supportive friends and family members to lean on . The waiting is awful.
Distract distract distract if you find your mind going down a wormhole is the only thing I found even vaguely helpful . Crochet turned into fiddling with the wool and surfed mumsnet constantly . Please vent here as others have said .
Another handhold in a firm grasp . Hope all is ok with breast referral x

CarrieMayBe · 21/10/2016 18:04

So sorry to hear what your family is going through. I agree with the poster above who said this is a one day at a time scenario, it's amazing how we somehow manage to muster the strength to keep going through such awful times but you will...somehow.

Will be keeping you all in my thoughts.

Original poster
dahliaaa · 21/10/2016 19:05

Thank you for all the kind messages.
I feel like I'm being a complete drama queen but it just all feels overwhelming.
I'm watching ridiculous amounts of rubbish TV!

OP posts:
ColdFeetinWinter · 22/10/2016 09:16

Not a drama queen at all. Do what you need to do, to get through this awful time and don't feel you have to pretend that it's not awful. Your focus is children and DP.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 22/10/2016 10:28

You are definitely not a drama queen!

I forgot to mention before, but if you think it would help, you are welcome to join us on the Lacies cancer support thread while you wait for your breast clinic appointment. We welcome anyone waiting test results and we are always happy to wave goodbye to people with an all clear. But we know what it is like waiting for the results. It's the hardest part, as you and your DH already know. You can also ask any questions about what to expect at the clinic. Nearly everyone in the thread has breast cancer so someone will be able to answer almost any question you might have.

We get quite a few people popping in while waiting for results. But I know some people find it scary or weird so that's totally OK.

Rubbish TV is a great distraction. What are you watching?

Original poster
dahliaaa · 22/10/2016 13:40

Thank you - I'll have a look at that thread.
I've got quite a lot of shoulder blade pain in same side as lump which is also making me think.
In some ways I think it's a bit of distraction because I just can't bear to face what is happening with DH.
We have taken one of DC to uni open day today. DH got very upset earlier (when DS not there) at the thought of not being around for him.

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NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 22/10/2016 19:16

I found the thread above very supportive when I was waiting for my breast biopsy results to come back nearly five years ago.
As others have said it could well be something benign although we all think the worse. My lump turned out to be duct ectasia and infection, sorted by several weeks of antibiotics.
Lots of rubbish TV is good, I have never watched so much before or sinceFlowers

Original poster
dahliaaa · 28/10/2016 19:45

DH has his first oncology appointment on Tuesday. We have been told to expect wide spread into bones etc. There is no cure so we are just praying that they will try and control for a while.
I had breast clinic today for two lumps. Iwas there most of the day (sat in exactly same place as husband and I were a couple of weeks ago :-(
Anyway one lump a cyst and all fine but the other one is 'indeterminate' and they need to get some scans from a couple of years ago from another hospital to do a comparison. And then may well need a biopsy (which I've had before) so could easily drag on for a few weeks. I am just really worried about our sons and the thought of both of us having cancer at same time so just really hoped I could get final ok today.
I realise there is nothing anyone can do but just thought writing it down might help.
The good news is that our oven broke this week and new one arrived today so at least we won't starve this weekend ! x

OP posts:
lljkk · 28/10/2016 19:52

1 day @ a time, dahlia. Flowers

Original poster
dahliaaa · 28/10/2016 20:05

Yes I need to remember that

OP posts:
lljkk · 29/10/2016 10:15

Wish I could say something more useful. This is rotten situation 4 you. Please keep posting & sharing. x

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