Here we go again - no contraception=no sex :-<

[Sugarmagnolia]

I don't really know where to post this as there seem to be so many issues tied up together. I have posted before under health becuase I can not find a contraceptive that suits me (have tried 3 combined pills, one mini pill and the mirena coil). I have posted under Depression because my moods and behaviour get unbearable at times - although I feel strongly they may be linked to the pills. I have posted under Parenting because of course all of the above is affecting my relationship with my children, especially my DD who I have a loving but somewhat "heated" relationship with at the best of times.

I think this morning was the final straw. There were lots of little irritations - DS broke one of DD's toys by accident. DD broke something of mine by accident. DH forgot to put out the recycling bags so I had to do it when I was supposed to be leaving to get the kids to school. DD couldn't do up the zip on her coat. DS forgot to put on his overall for nursery (or rather I forgot to give it to him until his coat was all zipped up). So I shouted at the kids and threw the recycling bag at the dog (only papers not bottles but still!).

This was not good.

DH and I have talked about it and I'm going to come off my pill again for at least 3 months to see if my moods and everything else settles down. So on top of an already black mood I now have the prospect of no sex for 3 months as we know we are completely hopeless with condoms. I don't really know what I'm loooking for - probably just a bit of sympathy unless someone out there has some amazing brilliant advice that I havn't already heard.

Copper coil?

I can't take the combined Pill b/c of my age and medical history.

Progesten and my PND are a VERY bad mix.

I don't like how the copper coil works.

So we use the diaphragm and w/drawal.

We're not a very fertile couple, though, so it works for us.

Diaphragm? If your cycle was regular enough you could use the Fertility Awareness Method and would only need to avoid sex or to use condoms on certain days, but you would need a regular cycle.

Are you planning on having more children?

Have you tried the implant? Or the cap? What about Natural Family Planning? How reliable do you need it to be - could dh have the snip?

Failing those, what about consulting a medical herbalist? I have done this for hormone problems related to contraception. There are some very powerful plant oestrogens in some herbs that might be able to restore some kind of balance.

You might also get good advice from a dietician or naturopath as eating certain foods can help hugely. Many women use diet and herbs to manage the menopause w/out HRT.

Anyway, huge sympathy and a hug - hope things get better soon.

Not sure if this is going to be much help, but, there is a male pill coming out soon... Not sure when, but I talked to my GP about it after DS was born as an option, and he said it will be avaliable soon. xXx

Echo the copper coil or diaphragm - I have tried both and opted for the coil as I can not do hormones either and condoms are frankly laughable IME. It is a very simple, easy no fuss contraception that is there for the next 5 years, I can't forget anything, I don't have to put anything in or take anything out again....works for me!

Another vote for a diaphragm here. A wee bit fiddly to start with, but it's worth a try surely? Went to the family planning clinic for mine, much more sympathetic than my gp, who reckoned I had a choice of the coil or condoms.

If you never want any more children then what about DH having the snip?

DH has just got his confirmation in the post this morning. No more fiddly condoms for us, yey.

Natural Family Planning/Fertility Awareness are a no go - got pg on the first try both times so we really need something reliable!

Implant will have the same hormones as pills/coil so definitely not willing to go there.

Expat - I have seen your posts on a few of these threads before and looked into the diaphragm but feel it would not suit me as (ahem) it's not suitable for certain types of foreplay.

I could consider the copper coil but am worried about heavy periods. Two of the pills I tried gave me very heavy periods although I normally don't have a problem.

We have also talked about more permanent methods but even there there are problems. For DH to get the snip might not be a simple outpatient procedure - I've been begging him to see his GP just to find out what the story is! And for me to do it, I'm terrified that a general anaesthetic will make me sick - the last time I had one I threw up for days afterwards. I've been trying to find out more about this Essure (non-surgical female sterilisation) but my GP has no idea where it's done.

I have got an appointment with my GP next week but i dont' really know what she can tell me that I don't already know.

I get the gel spermacide from the US, put it on the side of the diaphragm that goes against the cervix.

No foreplay problems there!

Tell him to go and see the GP, why should you be going through all this just because he can't be bothered to sort it out?

There are lot of non-penetrative ways to enjoy sex - lack of penetrative sex doesn't mean no sex life! Otherwise lesbians would go crazy.

I prefer the cream spermicide, can't remember why now, as expat says it's on the side against the cervix. If I've made a mess during insertion, I just have a bit of a wash round about to take remove any excess.
(Can't believe either that I've shared that, or that it came out in such a Blue Peter fashion!)
No foreplay problems here either!

Ok, sorry if this is really explicit...but there's no problems with taste?

And why do you also use withdrawl? (God where else could you ask people these questions!!!!). If the diaphragm and spermacide together is not reliable then I don't think i want to consider it. the "fiddly" nature of it doesn't bother me - I could cope with that.

I hate the cream stuff.

But I can't find anything else here, so I have a supply imported .

I think expat uses withdrawal during non-fertile times and diaphragm during fertile times

I'm sure there are spermicide strips you can buy

They should REALLY make a flavoured spermicide

then we could be minty fresh and ready for action

I got the choice of gel or cream at the family planning clinic, and now just have my preferred option on repeat prescription with my GP. Phone it in, and pick up at the pharmacist. It's free!
Sugar, I believe the diaphragm and spermicide are 98% reliable if used properly, ie use spermicide every time and leave it in for the right amount of time afterwards.

'tis not that high girders

"snort" at minty fresh . .

Yes, that's what we do, MP.

No, there's no taste w/the gel stuff if you only put it on the side that goes against the cervix.

No girders, you are right, I have just checked

98% with proper use

Yes what's the problem with condoms?

I assume your DH doesn't like them? Is there a reason for that? Do they affect his performance?

Given that you have cosidered sterilisation already, I think your DH needs a kick up the bum (not that that would sort it mind )