Morning everyone. Can I sneak in here please? I have no official diagnosis as yet, but just been referred to pain clinic and physio.
I've got degenerative disc disease, which has been getting progressively worse over the last few years, plus I had a head injury 3 years ago today which caused a haemorrhage and I've not been right since.
I hurt from head to toe and the exhaustion is unbearable :( I'm a single mum to a 10yo with ADHD and asd and I'm struggling to cope. I've just lost a new job during probation as I was having too much time off for appointments etc, but I wasn't coping working full time anyway. I can't sleep at night yet could fall asleep on a washing line during the day and I feel like I've got a permanent hangover. It's horrid :(
I've just had to ask ds to unload the dishwasher as I just couldn't reach the bottom rack and hadn't got the energy to bend down else there was a good chance I wouldn't get back up again. Ds looks at me like I'm crazy and doesn't understand at all, which frustrates me but he's only a kid.
I'm terrified that I won't be able to get another job - realistically who is going to want me? - but I'm also terrified of having to try and get through another 8 hour day at work as I just can't do it. I can barely even manage to get myself out of bed and showered most days.
Yesterday I changed the beds for the first time in a few weeks, as I just haven't had the energy, and I was literally crying with exhaustion by the time I'd remade them. I can't keep on top of the housework and there are piles of clean washing everywhere that I just can't summon up the energy to put away. I feel like we're living in a complete shit tip. I hosted Christmas dinner this year and it took me two days to clear up/wash up. The pots and pans are still sat on the worktop (clean) as I can't face having to bend down to put them away and. A week later, I still feel like I'm recovering from some huge exertion.
The GP keeps prescribing me different medications but I hate how they make me feel. Co-codamol makes me feel nauseous and constipated, ditto naproxen. Tramadol is just awful; I feel drunk and my heart races even more than normal. So I don't really take much at all apart from paracetamol and ibuprofen. Was prescribed antidepressants but they just made me feel more anxious.
I can't live like this. I've got 30 years until I can retire and that's a depressing thought. I'm a useless mum in this state.