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Original poster

------------ MY HUSBAND IS MISSING ---- Last Seen Macclesfield

129 replies

choosyfloosy · 02/12/2006 15:11

Hi, I'm a long-term Mnetter but have changed my name recently.

My husband left the house (in Oxford) at 4pm on Thursday saying he was going to put petrol in the car. I haven't seen him since. He has spoken to his brother, most recently at 7am on Friday 1 Dec. His car has been found in Macclesfield and he was last seen at a chip shop in Macclesfield at 4pm on Friday. He has an illness and came off his medication 3 weeks ago.

The police etc are on the case, but I'm a great believer in pursuing all avenues. If you have any information, please post it here or call the National Missing Persons Helpline free on 0500 700 700. Also please, if you live in the area, please talk about it to people you meet. Someone MUST have seen him.

My husband is 6.4 with grey/black hair (think George Clooney) and very strong features with large deepset eyes. He is probably wearing glasses and may not have shaved for 3 days or so. He is probably also very warmly dressed.

Thanks x

OP posts:
popsycal · 07/12/2006 19:20

hi choosy

is it a definite sighting? has it been definitely confirmed?

been thinking of you

IvortheEngine · 07/12/2006 19:46

Thanks for the update choosy. I think it's perfectly understandable to be torn between relief that he has been sighted (though the level of confirmation might leave you in some doubt unless it was 100% certain) and a sense of frustration that you're still unable to talk to him, know where he is and discuss what is wrong and how to take things from this point. So if you feel partly relieved and partly not, I think that's to be expected. I think that unless he has it all sorted in his own mind, that he probably does need to keep to himself at the moment. Whatever it is, money worries, depression, health worries, career worries, whatever, he needs to work through it but coming home will entail talking to people like yourself, the family and others and he needs to be at a stronger point in order to do that than he probably is at at the moment. I don't know if that makes sense.

I think Paddlechick's advise is spot on though it must be incredibly hard to put it into practice.

I have seen someone go through a breakdown twice and it was horrible to see that person change so much, to lose so much of themselves for a time. He's much better now, though it might happen again. He had to take himself off from the family and work, too, but they did know where he was. He worked through it but it was in his own time and his own way. I really hope your dh comes back as soon as he is ready. You may have to be prepared to pull up the drawbridge so to speak to shield him from well meaning family and friends until he's ready. Perhaps you could seek advice on this so that you are prepared for his return when/if it happens. I'll be thinking of you.

Original poster
choosyfloosy · 07/12/2006 19:49

last update...i guess... got a phone call 10.30 pm on Tuesday night, it was dh at a local police station asking if he could come home.

things extremely weird but he is here, and appt with doc tomorrow am.

didn't want to leave this hanging.

first thing he asked for after a cup of coffee and dinner - was a paternity test to prove ds is his.

we've got a long way to go...

OP posts:
popsycal · 07/12/2006 19:51

ih god choosyfloosy
i am sooo relieved that he is back with you
sounds like you have a long long way to go but I cant tell you how pleased i am that you have him home

you know where we all are

xxxx

Tinker · 07/12/2006 19:52

Well, at least he's home and you're talking. Good luck.

BudaBauble · 07/12/2006 20:10

Yes - at least he is home.

Sounds like it may be a tough road ahead for a while.

Remember - lots of support here if you ever need it.

Hope all works out OK.

sahmtotwo · 07/12/2006 20:53

((((hugs)))) Choosey and family.

I'm glad he is home with you. You obviously have to sort out a lot of things between you and I hope that you can move forward together.

We are all here for you if you need to vent or just be reassured

I hope you have a resonable Christmas.

Will hold you in my thoughts and prayers for the for seeable future.

whensantagotstuckupAITCHimney · 07/12/2006 21:04

good luck with everything, choosy, glad he's home at least.

themulledSNOWMANneredjanitor · 07/12/2006 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DingDongDraculaOnHigh · 07/12/2006 21:06

oh fantastic that he is home

sandcastlesforanaussiexmas · 07/12/2006 21:09

choosy, haven't posted yet but have been following. Glad he is how. Glad that he asked to come home, rather than being forced, menas he wants to be there, iykwim. Like others have said, sounds like you have a long road ahead!

Sending you lots of support!

Paddlechick666 · 07/12/2006 21:09

choosy, glad he's home safe.

as i failed to really realise, coming home is actually the first step not the end of the episode.

sounds like some difficult times are probably ahead but i am sure you are strong enough to get thru them. i wish you so much luck and strength to deal with this.

my dh has had a bit of a turning point this week and i am hoping it will be the start of the road home.

he's agreed to see the dr on monday and has asked me to go out for dinner afterwards!

keep in touch...........
x

MerryBiglipsmas · 07/12/2006 21:10

yippee....glad hes home xxx

IvortheEngine · 07/12/2006 21:11

I'm really pleased that he is home, too. I've just re-read your opening post and took on board the fact that he has an illness and has recently come off his medication. I hope that there is advice and support for you, your dh and other family members and friends. We are here for you, too.

MammyMto3kids · 07/12/2006 21:15

Choosy, I have just been 'lurking' around! So glad to hear he's home, good luck to you and your family!

corrina28 · 07/12/2006 21:19

choosy i'm so pleased for you that he is safe and at home with you, hoping that you manage to sort out what problems you may have.

whatwouldjesusdo · 07/12/2006 21:23

good luck choosy

I had the paternity test thing with my ex, as well as loads of other similar stuff. I used to tell him to get a paternity test done if he had any doubts.

Loshad · 07/12/2006 21:25

choosy, great news he's back, hugs and best of luck for thr weeks/months ahead - we're all here for you ((()))

jalopy · 07/12/2006 21:28

Good news, choosy. What a relief.

MistleToo · 07/12/2006 21:29

glad he is home safe and well.

good luck for the longer journey

suedonim · 07/12/2006 21:47

I've only been lurking but want to say how glad I am you and dh have a second chance togeher.

PeachyIsNowAChristmasFruit · 07/12/2006 21:49

Thank goodness he is back! Can I ask, was paranoia (re the apternity) a symptom of his illness before he came off his meds? It was with my Dh, questioned paternity too which was a joke as theya re the spitting image of him, strangers come up and comment! It wasn't about that though, it was about reassurance and feeling lost and scared and not really understanding what was going on, and needing to externalise all the internal confusion if that makes sese?

It was a very long road with my Dh and if he gets tired even now he can have paranoid episodes- but most of the time he doesn't, and I know how to recognise it and deal with it. Its a long and sometimes frustrating road, but it can be done and you can grow as a couple from this if thats the right outcome for you. However I would add a caveat that at times in the past I put up with stuff I shouldn't, and you should keep yourself mentally safe as well, remember your sopn needs you too.

hatwoman · 07/12/2006 21:58

glad he's home. I hope you can start to piece things back together. all the best

fussymummy · 10/12/2006 00:50

choosyfloosy i've been trying to find this thread for a couple of days now.

I don't blame you for having first part deleted.

I'm so pleased for you that he's home.

You now have a very long, emotional journey ahead of you.

How did things go with the doc?

Has he ever been admitted to a psychiatric unit?

Try to keep things as stress free as possible, as stress can be a huge trigger to the illness.

I know it is to my partner.

I try not to tell him everything, so as not to clog his head up with lots of worrying things.

That seems to be my job, to worry about everything!!!!!

If you need to talk, you have all of us here.

Please feel free to CAT me if you want to.

I've dealt with mental illness, first hand for the last 13 years.

Take care of yourself.

alibauble · 10/12/2006 03:38

Somehow I missed the news he was back home. I'm so very pleased for you all that he made the decision to come back. Remember we're always here to listen and help in anyway. Take care of yourselves.