Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Unwanted pregancy - can someone answer a few questions about termination please?

54 replies

nando · 27/11/2006 12:02

I'm 4 weeks pregnant and have decided to terminate.

I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, but I have a few questions and I can't wait that long to ask.

Could anyone tell me where the procedure will be carried out? Is it at a local hospital (I will be going through the NHS)?

I think I'd prefer to take tablets to end the pregnancy rather than have an invasive procedure. Does anyone who's been through either have an opinion on this? Which is the least unpleasant? If I do opt for the tablets how does it work with regard to timings?

Plesae don't post if purely to have a go or ask me to reconsider.

Sorry that this post is blunt. I have tried to change my posting style to protect my identity.

TIA

OP posts:
lulumama · 27/11/2006 12:04

BPAS website

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 27/11/2006 12:06

Hi there

I wasnt given the option of tablets, but as you are fairly early on you might.

If you have to go for the operation side of it, it is carried out at your local hospital and is day surgery.

I was in and out of theatre in 20 mins, and home an hour after the op.

I found the op the easiest because I was knocked out - didnt know what was going on so am not mentally scarred by the images of docs in gowns etc.

HTH xxx

doobydoo · 27/11/2006 12:08

Definitely get knocked out if having an op.It is extremely painful having a local anaesthetic.

NomDePlume · 27/11/2006 12:17

nando, I have had a medical TOP, which is the one with the tablets (surgical TOP is the op). I would really absolutely NOT recommend it.

I had it done at my local (at the time) NHS hospital. I went in and they scanned me to check how far on I was (6 weeks) and then I went to another room with a family planning nurse and was given the first pill and told to come back onto the ward as a day case 48 hours later (iirc). I took the first pill and nothing really happened, I don't remember any discomfort or bleeding at that point. I was told that if I wasn't sure about the termination then I should not take the 1st pill, as it could cause birth defects if I decided to continue with the pg and not complete the TOP.

I went back to the hospital as requested and was shown to my bed on a small ward. Once I'd been given to time to settle in I was given the second pill, which induced contractions leading to a miscarriage. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that it was fine, it really wasn't. It was horrific. The physical pain was agonising and all I felt was 'if I could turn the clock back', but that is my personal feeling and of course it isn't a given that you will feel that. Anyway, I was given some HUGE piainkillers which helped to numb the physical pain of it, then I started to bleed. I had to keep all of my sanitary towels and I had to take one of those little paper hat bowls to the loo so that the staff could see what I had passed. I saw what I am convinced was the sac in one of those little hat bowls.

I was allowed home at around 6pm the same day and told to rest up for 3 days, I bled heavily for about 2 weeks afterwards.

I wish I could have had the surgical TOP as I would have gone to sleep and woken up when it was all over. The Medical TOP was horrific.

Sorry

NomDePlume · 27/11/2006 12:18

BTW - This was years ago now so procedures may have changed and may well vary from Trust to Trust.

Cappuccino · 27/11/2006 12:19

i had the pills for a missed miscarriage

they didn't work. So after two days of agony and bleeding I had to have a D & C under general anaesthetic as well

Openheart · 27/11/2006 12:31

I have had 2 Surgical TOP, both under local anaesthetic with slight sedation (valium). I didn't find it particularly painful or traumatic either time.
There was bleeding like a period for up to a week afterwards, but no significant pain. One was at a clinic (Marie Stopes) one at the day surgery unit of a local hospital.

I hope your GP is helpful and supportive. Whichever procedure you choose, it will be over quickly. Good luck.

Original poster
nando · 27/11/2006 12:47

Thank you all for your support, info and links. I'm really sorry if I've brought up awful memories for anyone. I'm not really thinking straight at the moment and oddly I'm feeling very matter-of-fact and unemotional about it - which isn't how I would have expected to feel at all.

NDP - your experience sounds horrific. I've had a miscarriage in the past and although it wasn't painful I did see what I think was a sac fall out and it really disturbed me. I don't think I want to go through that again, but I'm also totally repulsed by the surgical TOP (thanks for terminology). I'll try and discuss it with my GP on Thursday.

I also meant to ask about how long this is likely to take to organise. BPAS say about 2 weeks, but I've heard stories of women choosing to go private because NHS waiting times have been unreasonably long.

Thanks again.

OP posts:
Piffle · 27/11/2006 12:55

like JARM I opted for surgical - knocked out, woke up, all over. in hosp for the morning, was given tablets to soften/contract the cervix, can cause cramping but I felt nothing major. then 2 hrs later (took a good book) into theatre, woke up an hour later and recovered within 2 hrs, home by 4pm - you do need someone at home to care for you for 48hrs.
Also even though it was an almost simple choice for me, I still needed to talk about it, so be prepared for that - I wasn't.
AS I was so sure it was the right thing to do (rape in my case), I had no problems afterwards - feeling mostly relieved over anything.
Good luck and I hope you are ok
xxxxxxxxxx

natmeistergeneral · 27/11/2006 13:00

I had the tablet procedure back in february. Had the first tablet(by mouth at the local bpas clinic)then had the second lot (vaginally) two days later.I was able to go home to miscarry after staying just long enough at the clinic to have the tablets inserted. They gave me some pain-killers before I left and I carried on with some strong over the counter drugs after that. The pain was managable but if you do decide to take this option be prepared for heavy blood loss (came as a bit of a shock to me) and prolonged bleeding up to six weeks afterwards. I was 9 weeks btw. Hope this answers some questions take care x

NomDePlume · 27/11/2006 13:00

Nando, I was referred via a Family Planning Clinic and not a GP surery (I wasn't registered with a GP at the time) and I think it was about a week to ten days. I would say that it depends on what the waiting list is at the time of referral in your area.

Be aware that the Medical TOP hasn't got a marvellous success rate, the earlier the better which I guess is why the docs like to get them 'rushed through' as it were. Also from a resources pov a medical TOP is cheaper for the NHS than a surgical TOP. It is also supposed to be safer for the patient (no GA to recover from).

Original poster
nando · 27/11/2006 13:12

piffle

I really don't like the idea of the medical TOP now. I wish I hadn't read about the surgical TOP though as the procedure seems hideous - but preferable as I'll be asleep.

Thanks for all your help. I feel a bit more settled now and just want to get on with it. I think my choice will depend on waiting times. If I have to wait more than a few weeks longer for a surgical TOP then I think I'll opt for the medical, with it being so close to Christmas.

OP posts:
lulumama · 27/11/2006 13:16

hope it goes ok for you.

NomDePlume · 27/11/2006 13:18

nando, neither of the options are pleasant unfortunately but you just have to try and go for the one that is least horrible in theory, to you (assuming you are still early enough into the pg to be considered for a mtop by the time your appt comes around).

I'm sure that there have been women who have had the mtop and been fine, both emotionally and physically, obviously not every procedure is going to end badly. I just wanted to be honest with you about my personal experience of it.

alexh · 27/11/2006 13:18

I have just used the pills to avoid a D&C after a missed miscarriage. Nothing to add about how it all works, but I found it OK. Pretty unpleasant and lots of blood but I was at home which I liked. I'd do it again if I had to (which I fervently hope I don't).

Original poster
nando · 27/11/2006 13:25

What's particularly off-putting for me about the mtop is knowing that it will take longer and I'll be more likely to need some support for a few days afterwards.

I have a disabled child at home and I have no-one in real life that I want to confide in about this, but I think I'll have to as I won't be able to look after DC and recover from the procedure at the same time.

I've recently seperated from P and I really don't want him to know about this. Oh bloody hell! What a mess.

OP posts:
mumblechum · 27/11/2006 13:31

for you Piffle.

I had a surgical top a long time ago and it was ok, the only prob was severe cramping a few hours after the op, but was back to normal by the following morning.

Hugs to you, nando. You'll prob. find that if you can get your p to mind your child for the night (you don't need to tell him why), you'll be able to manage from the next morning.

Quootiepie · 27/11/2006 13:52

sorry, I posted ny mumsnet went abit funny...
Just wanted to say I had a surgical TOP at about 12 weeks, and it was horrendous, but that was just me. The main thing I wanted to say was make sure you go to GP after 2 weeks of bleeding, they forgot to give me a 2 week checkup, and I bled for 4 weeks and had to have a D & C. Wishing you all the best xxx

mad4girls · 27/11/2006 14:57

hi nando

just wanted to share my experience i had a MTOP 2 years ago mine was in local nhs hospital and was a thos time of year

i was originally going to have a surgial option but was told they could only fit me in on christmas eve and i didnt want that with 2 dds at home and was told i could have the medical procedure 2 weeks before that so opted it and i think you do have to be quite srong minded to put up with the emotional side of the medical one

it was better for me having 2 small children a home and although i have always had bad period pains and had both children with no pain relief i didnt find the procedre very painful at all
and managed to walk home from the hospital which is a good 45 minutes from home

dont worry what ever you decide will be reight for you just make sure you have the right person with you, you know the person ho isnt going to judge or moan but will just be there out of support and caring for you

take care if you need to chat you know where we are

NomDePlume · 27/11/2006 21:17

re MTOP - I also gave birth without pain relief (my choice) and I would liken the pain to that that of genuine labour contractions. Horses for courses....

Fattymumma · 27/11/2006 21:19

if you are less than 8 weeks they will be unlikely to operate and will instead giev you the pill option. youwill take one tablet and then return for the second.

NotAnOtter · 27/11/2006 21:24

i had a missed miscarriage and took the pill option. VERY similar experience to NDP I was in agony - like labour - using gas and air.
I went home in bloody agony that same day and slept a lot of it off with HUGE painkillers.
It was not nice and would recommend the surgical route hth x

doyouwantfrieswiththat · 27/11/2006 21:31

surgical termination @ 8 wks.
Done on Saturday, into work Monday.
Very painful cramps for one day when back at work as my job involved long hours standing.
bleeding for about 2wks & cycle started again a month or so later.
Given 10 day course of antibiotics to take after wards as standard procedure to prevent infection.

Original poster
nando · 28/11/2006 11:09

Thanks very much all of you. I've never looked at any threads re termination on here before as I don't have any strong opinions on it or any experience to share. I expected to get at least 1 anti termination post and I was worried that I might get flamed.

I'm still not clear on what option I'll choose, as it seems that people have had good and bad experiences with both. I think it will come down to timing. Mad4Girls - there's no way I could have an abortion on Christmas Eve, and I'd be surprised if anyone would. I know I would opt for an mtop if that was the only other alternative.

Thanks for sharing your experiences.

OP posts:
puccaupunderthemistletoe · 28/11/2006 11:25

Nando...I too have the surgical TOP,and it wasn't too bad, i was glad to get it all over with tbh.

I too had terrible cramping the day after the op, and i did have to go private with the BPAS as if i had gone on NHS i would have been more than 12 weeks, i hadn't left it late on either, my original appointment was @ 5 weeks pg.

Be prepared to feel very down afterwards, find someone you can talk it out with, prehaps a close friend.

Thinking of you. xx