**Tamoxigang 53** Roll up, roll up... Anyone with any cancer (or test-waiting) welcome!

[MarthaCostello]

Good evening all,

The old thread had nearly run out when I posted so I have taken the liberty of starting a new one before it fills up completely.

I hope the title is OK - there isn't actually that much room, I was trying to fit in that people should come along even if they haven't been diagnosed yet.

If you're new here welcome to the Tamoxigang thread. This is a great place for anyone with any type of cancer (it originally started out as those taking Tamoxifen for breast cancer, hence the name, but has expanded). Please introduce yourself and make yourself comfortable! You're more than welcome here if you haven't been diagnosed yet too, sometimes people find it helpful to talk through their fears whilst waiting for results. And we will hold your hand until you find out, and hopefully wave you on your way with an all-clear :)

There is almost always someone around to chat, or to answer any questions. Nothing is off-limits here. This is somewhere to offload any fears and frustrations, in a safe place where someone will have been there before.

I hope everyone has been enjoying the gorgeous summery weather

Thank you all for your kind words.

Yes Marshy I have a specialist nurse through the hospital and very lucky to be friends with a cancer specialist in real life, so myself and DW are well supported in that respect. It really is how to manage and support DS that we're trying to get our heads around.

Hi all,

pizzapower I'm not a mum, but I work as a nanny. When I was diagnosed the children I looked after were 6 and 4, so a bit younger. But I found the best route to take with children is to talk at their level. Let them ask questions, and only answer those questions. Sometimes children only need a little information to satisfy them. Giving them too much info that they didn't ask for, can be more upsetting and confusing for them. Also always be totally honest, I think the worse thing you can do is to lie to a child to try and protect them! Children are far more resilient than we give them credit for! I found my 2 charges coped better with my cancer, than a lot of my adult friends!

marshy I'm doing okay ish! Thanks for asking. Having a rough day today as my appointment letter for CT scan came. Which has just made me think about all the "what ifs"! But trying hard to reign those thoughts in. I'm hoping the scan will just solve the mystery of the hotspots from the bone scan, then hopefully I can finally relax! Hope you are coping okay and your pain is improving xx

Pizzapower Sorry you have had to join us but we are a very friendly and supportive bunch. Most regular posters are having treatment but many "oldies" who have been through the treatment and are now living "new normal" lives post occasionally. My DSs are in their 20s so I couldn't keep much from them but were both abroad when I was diagnosed so we waited to tell them when one came back to the UK a couple of months later.
I had chemo No. 4 of Epirubicin yesterday and have felt OK so far. But I have yet another blood transfusion tomorrow, so will be taking iPad, woman's magazine and knitting (thank heavens for my Port) to while away 5 hours ... There's always day time TV too and I will get lunch (thanks work BUPA membership!)

Well, we sat him down this afternoon and told him. We've gone down the route of royalmama at the moment, not mentioning cancer yet but telling him I've got a lump in my oesophagus that needs treatment.
I feel a lot less worried now knowing he won't hear it accidentally from anyone.
It's the wait now for the PET scan and treatment plan in the next couple of weeks.

PizzaPower that's good, hopefully one less thing on your mind :) was he OK about it?

I hope you get your treatment plan soon. Most people find this time the hardest, and feel a little better once they have a plan.

Waving to everyone, I hope you're having a good weekend

Morning everyone. I haven't had much to say lately, been feeling great since chemo/radio treatment ended and really just living life as normal but today i am checking in to prep for surgery tomorrow. Not feeling scared mostly pissed about being stuck in hospital for days and not being allowed to eat. Booooo. i am glad to be moving on to the next phase but also, yeah, wish it wasn't happening.

Good Luck with the surgery lifeoverboard I hope it goes well, and wishing you a speedy recovery xx

Well done Pizza, I hope he was ok.
Good luck with your surgery Life

Has anyone had swollen eyelids and watery eyes as a side effect of chemo, and if so is it anything to worry about? It might of course be caused by something else, but stopped using all my products and its still happening-worse in the morning.

I have my surgery date for 9 December for my mastectomy. I'm being admitted on Sun 6 December because I'm high risk and will be in for about a week. I've been coping with my diagnosis by keeping busy and actually today is my only day off before my admission. I'm at uni all this week, working next Saturday and my Christmas party is in the evening, with hospital the next day.

I'm now starting to panic slightly because I'm so unprepared for Christmas. I haven't bought any presents, which should not be a problem at the end of November. I guess I can do all my shopping online but I don't have any headspace to choose good presents. I also have this fear that if my hospital stay is extended that my children will have nothing to open on Christmas day, which is silly because they have their dad. But he is going to be ultra stressed too so sorting out presents isn't going to be his priority.

Good luck life. I hope your surgery goes ok and that you are early on the list so you don't need to fast for too long

Pizzapower, sorry you're here but welcome. My daughters are older but when I was diagnosed last year it was the weekend before our youngest (17) did her AS exams. I decided not to mention anything to her for two weeks so she could concentrate properly. It is possible to keep it secret, though hard, but I see you gave now spoken with your son. The other thing we did was inform the school so that if she got upset one day, which she did, they would understand why.

Lily, hope the transfusion goes well tomorrow and puts a spring in your step.

Marshy, how's the back doing now?

Nanny, when is your scan date, hopefully soon with quick results?

Lifeoverboard, will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Everyone else, so many to mention at the moment, wishing you all strength to get through these difficult times. It's not much fun with the rain lashing down outside, I feel like having a pyjama day and some Nordic noir.

I feel a fraud but should be grateful for advice.

On Tuesday I start 5+ weeks of radio to reduce a benign brain tumour. They can't remove it because it's wrapped itself round an artery.

How exhausted will I feel from week3? Consultant says that her patients mainly work through it, but are shattered by week 3.

Am trying to plan .

Hi Themodernuriahheep

I didn't have radiotherapy but hopefully someone else will be along shortly. But I just wanted to say you're not a fraud! :) you're perfectly welcome here, and I hope your radiotherapy goes smoothly

Nanny, Thinking of you and hoping you get good news.
Themo you are most welcome. We can understand even though our conditions are different. The worry and anxiety is not different. I havent has radation therapy yet but .i read it can tires some people, but not all.
mysillydog hope all hoes wel with the surgery. I am sure having you there and recovering wil be the best x mas gift ever for everybody!
life hope all goes well tomorrow.
Hope I havent forgotten anybody else. To all I wish the very best.

Hi mrs CT scan is on Wednesday. But no idea when I will get the results, as I don't have an appointment booked in with the Oncologist.....sort of hoping its 'all clear' and my BCN might be able to tell me that over the phone! (Wishful thinking maybe) xx

themodernuriahheep I don't think anyone can tell you the answer to that, because everyone is affected differently. Best thing you can do is to listen to your body. What I can say from experience is it's very tiring just having to go to the appointments everyday for weeks. Good Luck with it all, it'll be over before you know it

Lifeoverboard good luck for tomorrow

The recovery process is a bit frustrating, but try to be gentle on yourself. With bowel surgery, and other organs too of course, it's a double whammy because you're recovering from the surgery itself, but also your body is adapting to a new way of working. Obviously as organs go, bowels are better ones to have fiddled about, but I think some people underestimate how troublesome bowels can be and so expect you to just bounce back after the surgery.

That all sounds a bit gloomy. It wasn't meant to I really didn't find the recovery that bad after the first couple of weeks, and I hope it will be the same for you.

Anyway, all the best

Thank you all for your welcome. Fortunately it is an easy bus ride from my office to hospital and then to the station to get home. And I've had so many scans of various sorts I don't care about equipment. Though I am not looking forward to the mask.

Good luck and waves to all on this thread.

Pizza - I had an oesphagectomy for stage 3 cancer of the oesphageous ( actually junction of the oesphageous and stomach which is very often where it shows up ) in 2013 so if you need any specific hand holding or have any questions ( however large or small ) please just ask .

My son was 19 when I told him and he was concerned that I might not be telling him the whole truth ,he was concerned it might be terminal and that I wasn't telling him !

With my mum ,who was in her 90's and a very anxious person I had to tell her it was cancer because of the chemo but totaly misrepresented the surgery .I said it was very early stages and it would just be a little laser treatment to remove some surface cells .

Anyway ,although everyone is different ,it was all very doable - the diagnosis and waiting for chemo to start and for the op were the worst bits .

Hi gingeroots I hope you're doing well

Seen my oncologist today who was pleased with the response of my lump to the chemo, they have sent me to have a clip put in it as a marker before it shrinks too much to feel. Waiting in ultrasound now- think I might be here some time as the waiting room is very full!

That's great news fresta, let's hope your wait isn't too long.

I'm REALLY apprehensive about my scan tomorrow I feel really pathetic because I know having the scan isn't difficult, other than them getting the line in for the contrast. But just having to go through this again so soon, is horrible. Sorry I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself! If I'm like this just for a blooming scan, goodness knows what I'm going to be like going for the results! Although I don't even know when I will get the results, which probably isn't helping!

Nanny, perfectly normal to be feeling wretched about tomorrow. I have sat in waiting rooms physically shaking in the last 18 months waiting for tests and results. It's the most unique agony and I am so sorry you've had so much of it.

I'd be getting your bc nurse warmed up for contacting you as soon as those results are through, it's unfair to leave you in the dark just because you have no appt pending. I once rang one of mine for a pelvic scan result and she was slightly sniffy because it was outside her area, although all connected. She suggested I rang my GP, which would have taken days to arrange. But she looked for me and saved me days of worry. Don't struggle on if you don't need to, be a pain and get them on your case.

Yes, Nanny, I would make sure you ask tomorrow for either a fixed appointment with your oncologist or nurse or make them agree to ring as soon as they have the results. Best of luck!

Clip now in place, I had to have a mammogram after it to check it was in the correct place, can't see how useful that would be because the tumour didn't show on a mammogram so how would they know if it was in the right place.

nanny we all here know what it means to have to go through with what you are now. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I sincerely hope you get good news and fast. Health professionals should take into account the emotional and psychological toll of waiting for results.
fresta that news is great. I bet you are so relieved. I think the clip is what they will be looking out for on the mammogram,not the tumour.
Have a good day all.

Thank you Mrs, fresta and royal I really appreciate the supportive words. I have arranged to have a chat with my BCN tomorrow. So will definitely ask her when and how I will get the results. I'm also quite interested to find out why my oncologist was happy to leave things for 3 months, but the team decided to do this scan?!

Anyway I need to keep myself busy until 6! Think today is going to be a long day.

Sending love to you all xx