Hi all
I'm having a bit of a struggle with a family situation and was hoping someone could offer experience and hopefully reassurance.
Fil has ongoing kidney problems. He has recently started dialysis and realistically needs a transplant. He is 67. Mil was going to donate but fell at last hurdle.
He has always refused to consider dh as a donor but this week has changed his mind. They are discussing looking into it next year (as Im currently 8 months pregnant ).
In dh's eyes this is entirely his decision and something he will do. I will support him with this completely as not to do so would be very selfish. However, I have multiple concerns and if Im totally honest I wish he wouldnt do it.
- We will have 2ds by then. Both under 4. I imagine dh will need caring for for a decent amount of time. I work full time. I just cant see how we will manage
- I dont imagine dh will get sick pay for this (this can be handled, but is still a negative )
- Despite years of being told not to fil is still a drinker (kidney problem not due to drinking but obviously effected by it). He can be very sly in hiding this from mil. Will go to toilet in restaurants via bar and down a pint for example. I cant help feeling if he followed advice this may not be needed and he is just going to continue with dhs kidney.
Does anyone have experience of this at all that they can share? I really want to be supportive as i adore fil but ultimately dh is my priority