<dying from embarrassment that I am posting this>

[ilove]

I will be 46 in two weeks.

The last few times me and dh have had sex I have been very dry and last night he commented that things were not so enjoyable because of it.

Relevant info, I am turned on when we do it and I do orgasm.
I had a hysterectomy at 37. I haven't gone through the menopause that I know of.

Help! What do I do to make it the way it used to be? Please don't say GP...

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If you've found this page in your search of orgasm gels and orgasm lubes that have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best orgasm gels useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

Something like Replens from Boots for now.

Any chemist, lubricating stuff. Drop on the back of your hand, use the fingers of the other hand to spread it around. You can even make it part of foreplay if you really want to. Enjoy. xx

It may be Peri menopause related, no need to be embarrassed about going to your gp, but maybe you could see a nurse practitioner instead?

You can get oestrogen cream from your gp that you apply to your vagina to relieve dryness.

Oh gosh. Is it something like KY jelly I need? Only when we're wanting to play or all the time?

Bloody hate getting older! Thankyou for helping

When you had your hysterectomy, were your ovaries left? Their removal would have triggered menopause and they'd have offered you HRT so I suspect not.

Anyway, it probably is hormonal.

For avoidance of embarrassment initially, get a free sample of Sylk and if that works, it's available on prescription. A bottle lasts ages as you only need a few drops. You can incorporate it into foreplay or just apply a bit beforehand.

I've been using it for at least 2 or 3 years after the same problem started in my mid 40s. Most of the time I only need it if DTD but occasionally I put a bit on if it feels a bit 'scratchy' generally.

Astroglide is good.

Yep I second astroglide although I will investigate prescription one, too! Sorry I assumed your ovaries hAd been removed as well, hence suggesting the oestrogen cream. I used it while breastfeeding for three years-bf causes similar hormonal changes as the menopause.

This is a really common problem and I can't understand why anyone would be embarrassed.

To a dr it's no different from a throat infection or anything!

MOST women in peri and post meno have dry vaginas.

It's easily cured with vaginal oestrogen. If you leave it, it may get worse.

Just go and see your dr- they will have heard it all before.

Stuff you can buy OTC is not really what you need as this is a hormonal problem not the same as dryness in younger women.

Yes ovaries were lest, cervix was removed alond with womb. I will look at the free sample, thanks

OP The research shows that women who have had a hysterectomy usually have an earlier menopause- even when the ovaries are left. So as the age of meno is 45-55 it's quite possible that you are heading into menopause.

There was a lot of research last year which showed that many women are embarrassed to discuss this with their drs- and shouldn't be as it's very common and the more that women can be open about this, the easier it will be for all of us to ask for the right treatment.

What you are experiencing is vaginal atrophy- lovely name!

I'd really suggest you see your dr. OTC products like Sylk etc are waterbased lubricants- they do add 'slippiness' but they don't actually change the lining of the vagina at a cellular level, which is what a hormonal treatment will do, as long as you keep using it.

You might find this info on this website helpful

www.menopausematters.co.uk/dryness.php

I've had this since my 30s. Had investigations but nothing found. Have to use lube. Not very sexy or romantic but no alternative.

There are alternatives- some women use a small vaginal ring that releases the hormone over 3 months, or if they use vaginal oestrogen it is used twice a week- not at the time when you have sex ( it's not a lubricant.)

This article shows how women are embarrassed- and treatments- it's worth reading.

vaginal dryness- the silent epidemic

Thanks, I will have a read

Vagifem.

I'm going to send for some samples I think, as it would appear it isn't a temporary thing :(

Thanks all for replying :)

Samples of lubricants will possibly help but as your oestrogen levels drop it's likely to need more than that to help.

I think- saying this kindly- you need to work more on your inhibitions. The fact you felt embarrassed even posting about this very common problem means you are not comfortable talking about normal ageing and bodily functions, with anyone including a dr.

Do you know why you feel embarrassed ?

Is it because you don't want to 'admit' you have a sexual relationship? Or because you find it hard to talk about certain parts of your body?

I hope you can get beyond this.

pinkfrocks
Slightly over stepping the mark there!?
Aging? Op is 46!

I have never spoken to my GP about these sorts of issues. I wouldn't feel comfortable. Personal choice & all that!

Good luck op. Hope the advice offered was helpful.

Can I recommend Durex Play strawberry flavour? I have tried lots of others and this one is by far the best, even compared to the other variants of Play.

Fwiw I don't have this issue yet, in fact sometimes quite the opposite, however, I just enjoy things more using this stuff and so it is a regular item on the shopping list. You might find it adds a whole new dimension to things.

Least embarrassing way is to do an online shop and you don't have to come face to face with the cashier, but whenever I've bought it in store nobody bats an eyelid. It's really not embarrassing, well no more than buying condoms or tampons or any of the other personal items we all need sometimes.

The only times I've been embarrassed buying it were once when I had an awful cold and was coughing, sneezing etc in the pharmacy. Bought lube and Beechams. The cashier looked really sorry for me, like I was being forced into things against my will! The other time was in Egypt when DP had to ask for it from behind the counter and the young lads serving him were winking and patting him on the back!

Not overstepping any mark as far as I can see.

Peri meno and the type of problems the OP mentions can happen from 45 onwards. That's not being ageist- it's a fact.

It is your choice of course. But then you are choosing to leave something untreated which may cause a lot of discomfort if and when it happens.

It's nothing to be embarrassed about - if you can't discuss personal healthy issues with a dr, then who can you discuss them with?

Maybe have a look at the menopause matters forum (another site) and you will see thread after thread on this topic with loads of women getting treatment from their dr.

There is a real problem with women in the UK not being able to discuss this topic and it's a tragedy because many suffer for decades when treatment is easily available.

I agree with pink frocks-I suffered with this problem because of breastfeeding fir a long period-my gp was happy to help. Why suffer such a painful problem when there are lots of treatments available?