**Tamoxigang Thread 52** With virtual tea, cakes and chat for all with cancer concerns

[Lilymaid]

We were almost at our 1000 post limit for Thread 51 - hope the title is OK but wanted people to know that we aren't just about people on Tamoxifen but for all with cancer concerns!

Hi to everyone - sorry I tend to lurk rather than contribute but thanks to everyone who posts - your wisdom is really valuable.
Precious, you sound like a lovely friend to have, and I think the best thing is to keep in really regular contact with your friend and be real and as 'normal' as possible. The friends I have found most helpful have been the ones who are happy to be a shoulder to cry on and also to talk about anything else but cancer. You just need a good laugh sometimes in all the stress. Ask her what will help but don't offer help you can't give.
Can I ask a question of those of you who have had surgery - I.have finished chemo and am due to have surgery in early August. The plan at the moment is to have WLE, mammoplasty and lymph node clearance on the affected side and mammoplasty to balance me up on the other side.

I have been invited to a 40th birthday spa weekend 4 weeks after surgery and I'm not sure if it's a good idea or not. it's very expensive and I'm not sure that I'll actually be able to use any of the facilities. Treatments are extra. Any advice would be welcome please as I have to let my friend know soon so she can book. Thanks.

Sorry I realise my post doesn't make total sense. My question is how long did you take to recover from surgery, for things like driving, exercise, swimming etc. but also just general tiredness, pain etc. Am I going to struggle through a spa weekend?

Hello lovely ladies

I hope everyone is having a good day. Here we have some sunshine atleast.
I'm busy planning my daughters first birthday amidst settling her into nursery (yuck!) and manically cleaning the house before I return to work. I finish maternity leave in a couple of weeks.

I have my breast clinic appointment tomorrow and am suddenly very nervous. I know the stats are in my favour but I just feel icky about it all. It will be great to finally have this waiting period over. I know that it's 99% breastfeeding issues but the fact my gp found the thickening is a little worrying.
Weirdly tied into this is that if it's nothing I will feel a twinge of guilt and sadness again for my own mum. I wonder how she felt going through all of this so many years ago? She was also referred after having her second child so it's all a bit too similar.
I guess it was bound to stir up some residual emotions.

Anyway I am waffling. I hope I can atleast make it through the process in one piece.

Hi indiarose, I was wondering about you at the weekend. It's all been a bit quiet on here for the last couple of weeks. I feel I pointed you in this direction and you've probably got little from it. I think lots of last summers people are moving on and new people are just getting diagnosed and a bit lost still.

It's bound to bring back difficult memories for you and you can now put yourself in her place. I hope you get all the answers tomorrow and the waiting will be over with a good result.

Indiarose I hope it goes really well tomorrow and you get good news.

Oh ffs river! What an utter pain that you have to go through another procedure! Great that your hysteroscopy results were good though and of course that they are being thorough....but I'm sure you just want it to be finished and done with.

Sienna fingers crossed for your results. Waiting is pants and no mistake.

India I'm really sorry but I don't remember your story but I do empathise with looking back on what my mum had to deal with now I have the perspective of a proper grown up. Its hard to appreciate those things when we are younger. Sending all kinds of good vibes for your appointment tomorrow.

Fifi re the spa weekend, I would probably have been avoiding steam room, body massage and swimming at the stage you're describing (I had mastectomies) but lying about in a robe, eating, drinking, sleeping, having a laugh with friends, having a facial, pedicure or head massage would all have been entirely possible! I guess it depends on who you're with and if they will be ok with you doing your own thing and maybe going off for a nap if you want to. Could be just what you need!

Precious you sound like a good friend. Nothing to add to the good advice you have been given.

Waving at mrs and nanny.

Boobz how are you doing?

I'm off on hols on Friday morning for a week to Croatia with dh and the two grown up dc. It will be an adventure as we've not been there before. I'm ready for a break. Have been tired this week which I think is partly an emotional come down after stressing over my hysteroscopy results. Sciatica still niggling but I'm self managing it now and discharged from physio. Looking forward to a nice holiday outside of school hols for the first time in 13 years!

I've thinking of DifficultPickle, who used to post on this thread but I haven't seen around recently... I hope you are okay Pickle and have just NCed. Hugs to you and the SmallPickle

Good Luck at your appointment today india fingers crossed for good news.

Hope you have a fantastic holiday Marshy boy do you deserve it after the year you've had.

I'm supposed to be going on a big family holiday to Florida next year. But my Lymphoedema is really painful at the moment and since the weather has warmed up its been awful. So now I am questioning whether a trip to Florida is really going to be doable Life was a lot less complicated before all this.

thanks marshy for the advice. Hope you have a lovely holiday!

Good luck to those expecting news today.

Marshy, have a fab holiday and hurrah for being able to do it in term times again. Dd2 finished her A levels yesterday so no more school routine in this house anymore. I'm lounging around in my pjs, must get on really. The girls are taking their first solo holiday next week, to Rome. I had another blood test yesterday to check if my white blood cells have increased, not sure what the plan is if they haven't or what that means. All this continual testing and prodding is not what I expected. That sounds ungrateful and I'm not, just want my life back.

Nanny, you seem to be suffering at the moment. I've no advice but understand your frustration about life being more complicated now. I hope it all calms down one day.

Thanks mrs I hope it calms down too. Or maybe I have to just get used to the fact that life with Lymphoedema is always going to be more complicated But like you I just want to get my life back! Xx

UKsounding I often wonder about difficultpickle too. I'm not sure she ever posted again after her procedure? I hope it all went well and that she has fully recovered now...

I can remember difficultpickle on the Tamoxigang thread, but a search doesn't find any postings on Tamoxigang
No posting at all on Mumsnet this year, unless she has name changed.

The search function is a bit weird isn't it, sometimes doesn't show stuff

I feel a bit stalkery, but managed to find difficultpickle on thread 50 saying she was out of hospital, so hopefully she's continued to improve and is now too busy to come on MN :)

Hi,

i went to the one stop breast clinic last Thursday, consultant was quite convinced i have cancer in my left boob from the size/feel of it after the scan etc...i have a sudden very inverted nipple.

tomorrow i go back to get the results from the biopsy, any questions i should be asking?

Hello looking, sorry you are in this situation and remember there is still a chance it's not cancer. But assuming for now that it is, this is what generally happens.

They should be able to tell from the biopsy what sort of cancer it is, there are many types. This will determine the treatment plan, which they should have prepared for you. It may be that they can remove a lump and offer chemo and/or radiotherapy. It may need to be more radical surgery or they may suggest chemo first. Not everyone needs chemo by the way. So asking why they have chosen the treatment they have would be a start. They may want to do further scans to check it hasn't moved out of the breast too, so again ask about that. If its hormone related you'll probably be on a drug treatment too for a number of years, so expect to hear about that.

I would recommend taking someone with you, although you are expecting bad news it's still quite a shocking appt to have and support and another pair of ears is helpful. If it is cancer the next few weeks will be a bit of a whirlwind as they don't hang about. Think about how you can put real life to one side in order to have whatever treatment is necessary. No one would pretend its very pleasant but the reality is generally better than the you imagine. I hope it turns out to be a false alarm though.

thanks for the information

it was confirmed today to be invasive breast cancer, i go in a week monday to have the whole breast removed as the cancer is in an odd place.

i was told its a 2 week wait then while they do tests on the removed boob/tissue to see what further treatment is needed.

only driving home did i wonder how the primary site can tell them if its gone else where??

i am back this monday for a pre op meeting/explanation with my named nurse, all very fast...i must do a big shop i guess!

Hi looking, I'm sorry to hear that. There will be a lot of information to take in over the next few weeks. I hope you have good support around you.

Did they mention anything about a sentinel node biopsy? That's where they remove the first lymph node in your armpit and a couple of others. These are tested for signs of cancer, if they're clear the cancer won't have spread. If it has escaped you may have more scans and the treatment will be planned to mop up all stray cells.

I think with a mastectomy the sentinel node can be removed from the same incision, whereas when only a lump is removed a separate incision is needed in the armpit. If you can't remember it's something to ask on Monday.

If you think of any more questions over the next few days just ask.

yes they talked about removing lymph(s) from the armpit, they looked ok on the scan but are removing them for testing....it makes sense now!

Looking for baubles - how are you? I'm guessing you are feeling in a bit of a daze. A few days ago you were leading a normal life. Now you have had appointments, tests done and are now facing an op. It's like entering a parallel universe.

I hope you have friends and family that can support you.

im just focusing on the practical stuff for now, dogs tablets ordered from vets, child care, new pjs etc

havent told my children yet - youngest has special needs so thats going to be difficult to explain - i have my oldest friend staying with me as she has stage 4 cancer and has been very poorly, so my daughters understanding is cancer means dying.

Sorry to hear your news baubles, stick with us and we'll help you through it x

I'm sorry you've had that news baubles. Have you got family who can support you?

we had a similar difficulty telling our children about my cancer, as their experience of cancer so far was a very close friend with stage 4 cancer whose children we looked after when she was having chemo and poorly. She died not long ago, and now my children fear that I will die too. I've tried to tell them about all the women who have survived breast cancer that I have ever known or heard of to give the positive point of view!

ive only told a handful of people - and then had to listen to them wail about upset they were for me

i have a crazy aunt and a mother - whose taken to her bed as shes so upset, so shes as much use as a chocolate teapot!

i do have a whole herd of lovely grown up children- a daughter whose actually just returned from oz and home for a few months, i know shes going to put her travel plans on hold now which will be a shame.

its going to be hard to put a positive spin on breast cancer for my youngest, perhaps we will just join in with the therapeutic wailing!