Tamoxigang thread 50 with summer sun, sangria and maybe even some sand

[foofooyeah]

Welcome to thread 50 .... Yes FIFTY.
Lots of us are rising 50 so rather apt!

Wurzels styling makes me guffaw!

Buns- the chicken pox came to nothing luckily but I did spend some time being sick every 20 mins last night. Think it must be something I ate. I feel better this morning, just deciding what I should eat. Annoyingly it is my son's birthday so feel very guilty that I wasn't very with it this morning. We did presents and the he said "just go back to sleep for a bit mum". They did get lots of time on the play station though! Luckily we have done a family party thing at the weekend and his dad and partner are coming for tea later so he should feel like he had a birthday.

Morning all

Buns glad to hear your mum is improving and hope you feel better soon the chemo does get harder to recover from each cycle

Speedy hope you're feeling better too

Back to work for me today after a lovely summer

Poor you Speedy, you are a martyr to your sphincter muscle, hope you are felling better today. Happy birthday to speedyboyjunior for yesterday. I think I have worked out that we care much more about not being 100% for that sort of thing than they do, particularly these days, each little milestone and event seems so much more poignant and I feel I should be full on mum for each occasion. I have been so lucky dates wise with my treatment. Only family birthdays to fall since my diagnosis were in the gap between op and chemo. I do have my birthday in a couple of weeks, but in a 'well' week and I am very much hoping to be treatment fine, dusted and forgotten(!) in time for Christmas.

Morning all, I've had a coupe of days away and also been trying to wean myself off here and back to normal life a little.

buns I'm pleased to hear about your mum, although it sounds like it could be a long recovery. I hope you're looking after yourself.

Happy birthday to those celebrating themselves or with dc, poignant times indeed.

malt hope the work goes well, are you back to full time?

becca I was sad to read about your husband and his memory box, how are you doing now? I can't imagine how distressing that must have been to discover and deal with.

I have an appt with my oncologist this afternoon. I think it's an end of surgery and rads check, I'm just on the tamoxifen now and I'm going to mention aspirin. Unfortunately I discovered a lump in my armpit on Saturday. I don't know what it is although basic knowledge of anatomy tells me it's possibly a swollen lymph node, but why? It's quite painful and has got me very worried all over again. I hoped this was going to be my last appt for a while but this might change that.

Feeling much better today.
Buns glad your mum is improving and hope you are feeling better from that chemo now.

Malt hope work goes well with your new class.

Mrs hope your appointment goes well and that the lump is nothing horrid. Keeping fingers crossed here for you.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Hi all, feeling loads better thanks. We had a good chat about it all, this time without my tears or histrionics, and he is just scared poor chap. I know I'd be the same of the situation was reversed. He said he has to do something all the time because he doesn't want to stop and think about the situation. I suggested he find something non-death related to occupy his time, so he's researching camper vans now. Calm has been restored for the time being.

Amber thanks for that link. I'll have a read. I'm being referred to the Marsden, so hopefully that appointment will come through soon.

Becca, camper vans definitely better than death!
Buns - glad to hear that your mum is improving and Mrsrhod, hope your lump turns out to be nothing.
I am MNing briefly while having a wee break from playing trains with DS2, bad mummy.

Hello all,

Hope speedyjunior had a good birthday, I'm sure he didn't mind you not being 100%, he will just be glad you were there.

Hopefully most of you will have finished treatment and be well on the way back to normal life (or a new normal anyway) by Christmas!

My chemo finished in July and our Christmas was really good. A few changes to the menu and I don't think we went for a walk, but otherwise perfectly normal :) cancer won't always be at the forefront of your mind. The main issue for me is that I still seem to have terrible chemo brain - eg I can't really remember much about our Christmas, I know it was a lovely day but I couldn't tell you what presents I gave or received, what we actually ate etc...

I have had a fantastic weekend. I went to a folk festival and also a friend's wedding, where I danced until midnight and was one of the last to leave, although I did turn down the after party at our town's only nightclub I also went to the festival last year but it was only a month since chemo and I was struggling a bit with the lingering side effects, so it was great to see how much I've improved since then. And brilliant to see all my school friends at the wedding and feel relatively normal! They were all a bit protective of me, I was constantly being offered a seat and people checking I was OK (possibly because I threw up in a tube station on the hen do when I hadn't even been drinking... ) but generally everyone just treated me normally which was refreshing as my family do fuss over me a bit and some friends found my illness a bit tricky to deal with at first.

I'm paying the price for my fabulous weekend now, with what appears to be bacterial tonsillitis, but definitely worth it :)

Sorry that was massively long, I was just trying to reassure that your lives will stop being cancer-focused one day :) even those I know with secondaries are having lots of fun in between treatments, although they aren't as lucky in being able to put it all behind them.

mrsrhod you must be very worried, so hopefully the oncologist can put your mind at rest. I think painful is usually a good sign with lumps, as cancerous ones are generally painless. It does sound like a swollen gland, which could be caused by lots of things. Do you have a cold or anything similar? I also get them in my armpits when I'm just generally run down or stressed.

marshy I hope you are able to enjoy your holiday and put this to the back of your mind (I know that's often easier said than done!) it sounds like if it is problematic, they've caught it early, so that's good. But hopefully it's nothing and you can get on with the surgery as planned, whether you decide to have a mastectomy at the same time or not.

becca I'm so sorry your husband has upset you so much. He does sound very pessimistic but try not to read anything into that about what the doctors have said - my ex was similar, even woke me up one night sobbing hysterically and clinging to me I'd specifically asked not to be told any stats as I wanted to be able to reassure my family honestly (I have a terrible poker face!) but he insisted that he had to know and so I agreed to him speaking to my team on his own, then he broke down and told me and they were actually better odds than the average for bowel cancer, so I don't know what he was making such a fuss about.

Re. the memory boxes, long before my diagnosis I had already decided to do them when (if) I have any children after watching a very sad documentary. Perhaps your diagnosis has reminded him that anything could happen to either of you so he wants to make the memory boxes just in case, rather than specifically thinking the worst will happen to you? If not, you could perhaps remind him of this and nudge the memory boxes in a slightly different direction so that you can participate too.

I have a memory box from my childhood, my mum used to let me choose things to put in, e.g. drawings, favourite clothes, special birthday cards. I'm so pleased I kept some of these things as now I can look at them. When my nana died, I made a couple of Christmas cards she had cross-stitched for me into Christmas tree decorations, as I'd saved them in my box. So could you help make something similar for your little ones so they can remember their childhoods later on rather than it being all about what might happen to you? Sorry if this is completely insensitive

Also remember your team know your case best, they would not give you false hope so take your cue from them :)

buns so glad to hear your mum is continuing to improve, although I'm sure it will be a long road. Much love to you all bugger about the extra day of chemo grimness, I hope you feel better now. What is the performance? I'm very impressed :) I hope you feel well by then.

This has got ridiculously long so I will stop there, sorry to those I've missed, I hope you're all getting on OK wherever you are in treatment, lots of love and best wishes

Oops sorry becca I missed your new post so please ignore mine

Camper van sounds good. We got a VW a while ago and it is lovely, although has needed a lot of work and still needs more! So be careful if he decides he wants a vintage one

Afternoon [waves]

Hope everyone is going ok.

Hope the new rads team are fun too foo, Hope you're feeling better speedy and the SEs have gone Buns, sorry if I've missed anyone out.

We had a great holiday, I actually had enough energy to play on the beach and even to go swimming! (discovered its important to squeeze the water out of boobs before you try and get changed!)

Now starting to think about going back to work next week (I work in a school), looking forward to it but definitely getting nervous.

Hugs to all who need them

Ps anyone taking tamoxifen, do you need to wee loads more than normal? I seem to need to go all day long, not sure if it's cos I'm trying to drink lots of water or something else.

Hi wine, I've been on tamoxifen for a couple of months and have noticed no difference in the bladder department.

I saw the oncologist yesterday and mentioned aspirin to him. He was happy for me to take it, not because it has been proved to be useful to bc patients, but because I'm 50 and it will guard against a host of other issues.

Unfortunately he couldn't find the lump under my arm, despite me drawing a cross in pen on it. Bit exasperating, anyway he's requested an ultrasound just to check. Apparently where it is could not be breast tissue or lymph node as its too far round towards my back. I suppose I'm a bit relieved but will feel better when it's proved to be nothing. Apart from that I've been released for six months.

Saw my consultant today, to discuss next steps after genetics reports. No BRCA, but they believe due to our family history that there must be some gene mutation that makes us more susceptible to cancer.

Consultant encouraging BMX and LD flap. But to maybe take a break for at least a few months before surgery.

Past few weeks I have been feeling tired very easily. I thought it was because of busy summer holiday, but she thinks it may be Tamoxifen SE. She wants me to take it easy and report back in a month. And she thinks I should postpone going back to work until Jan (without BMX) or later if I opt to do surgery before Jan.
Now I need to update my boss, he was expecting me back next week. But work have been great throughout my treatment, so I'm expecting they will continue to be supportive.

Meanwhile, DDs back to school tomorrow. And most hobbies starting back next week. Let's see what that will do to my fatigue!

wine new rads team lovely but very normal :-) I swam for the first time a couple of weeks ago and I have expander in and it felt very weird.

mrs I think it must be a good sign for dr not to find the lump.

mom if it helps I have had bmx and no regrets at all
My work have been brilliant, at first I only thought I would be off a couple of months .... One year later I am still signed off.

Have done 6 out of 15 Rads.

Mom, it sounds right to take more time off; I remember that you weren't keen to rush back, and it will be nice for your girls to have you around without too much of that scarce energy being used up by work.

I've just told my work that I'm planning to resign. I'll miss my lovely colleagues and the interesting issues that we deal with, but just for a bit I want to focus on my family. It may just be a short term break - I may go mad with boredom and decide to start work again next year. I hadn't realised, however, that I need to give three months notice, so may end up in the unsatisfactory position of just going back for a few weeks.

Sounds like you're powering through rads, Foofoo. Good. I hooe it feels as though it will be all over soon. My top tip is to keep doing any physio exercises; my arm and shoulder have seized up massively since rads and I've had to go back to basics with the exercises.

Thanks wren had noticed my arm a bit stiffer so had been exercising, shall keep it up. I think its a good idea to resign, can you not get Dr to sign you off while waiting the 3 months?

I also forgot to wave to rahrah

Hello everyone. I am looking forward to school starting next week. Good luck to Malt and other teachers/classroom assistants going back into the breach! Good luck and I hope you have a lovely bunch of students.

Thanks trice we went back this week and my class are lovely so far long may it last !

I'm glad that your class are lovely, malt. I hope being underway feels better than the expectation? Good luck to you for next week, wine.

Like you, trice, I am rather looking forward to school starting, but it seems as though there are a lot of shoes/ rucksacks/ haircuts to be organised before then. We're just back from Suffolk; it was complete joy to get away (holidaying with eyebrows: happiness) but we're now having to scurry around.

foo, I think it's a good idea to get my GP just to extend my sick leave - but I feel bad about it as well as my team can't afford to replace me while I'm still getting half pay...

My eldest has just done his GCSEs. He chose not to find out the results before we went on holiday. They have now been posted to him and the envelope is sitting in the hall waiting for him to open it. He is showing no signs of doing so. In a way I admire his strength of mind (if you can call monumental avoidance that) but my DH is feeling very antsy. I'm rather hoping that my family will give over their eager enquiries before he gets round to it.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Wow wren how does he stand the suspense has he opened them yet ?

Hope everyone had a good weekend

Thanks, Malt. I strong armed him yesterday and said he had to open them in case we needed to request a re- mark. He eventually did and is very pleased and surprised and much more relaxed. I'm sure there's a moral in there somewhere, but I'm not sure what it is and I'm not sure he'll do it any differently another time.

Glad he was pleased, well done :)
Don't think we should even try to understand the mind of a teenager !

Gosh it's quiet! Hope it's cos we're all feeling well enough to be busy.

Well done to your DS Wren.

Waves to everyone.

I'll second that wine.

Another well done to Wren's DS

Taking DS2 out for lunch shortly as it's his last day of the holidays. DS1 off to college to enroll as he has decided he wants to take A Level Maths and Physics. Talk about last minute!

A busy couple of weeks ahead for me at the hospital. Oncologist tomorrow, GP Thursday, Echo next Friday and Herceptin the following Wednesday.

Beautiful sunshine in Durham today

Waves to everyone!