Yet another hv question...

[Nome]

ds starts nursery next week. ds is dry, but not clean. ds is 3.7. He has been dry about eight weeks.

I am happy that he will get the hang of pooing on the toilet/potty eventually - we have already tried encouragement/sitting on the toilet/ books by the loo/ sticker chart/ chocolate buttons/ shouting/ etc and he is just not ready yet. He knows when he is dirty, but doesn't anticipate.

Nursery are concerned. They want me to stay with him during the first week. (Fair enough). They also want me to contact my hv (who?!?) to ask for strategies.

So should I contact the hv? We have not seen an hv for ds since he was four months old and she wanted me to reduce his breastfeeds because he was gaining too much weight. We have seen four of the hvs who cover our patch and only one was any use (not that we had a use for her, she just weighed newborn dd and told us how well we were doing).

I personally think hvs are a waste of time, but will bite my tongue and phone the hv if it makes ds poo in the toilet faster. Will it? (I actually want a potty training nanny who will do all the poo-related stuff for me )

And will nursery make a fuss/hassle me if I don't contact hv? They also don't seem to have noticed that I have crossed out hv on the emergency medical permission slip. After all, what medical emergency would require a health visitor? Will this make life difficult for ds? Will I have stroppy mother stamped all over this file too?

Opinions please. I love reading other opinions of hvs.

I love my hv but that's because I hardly see her!! Also she's very down to earth and a big fan of "mum knows best but I'll give advice where I can"
YOu could always give your hv a quick ring to ask for tips if you really really have to I suppose - just so you can tell the nursery you are "networking" with the hv on the matter?

i would phone them just so that you know you have tried every avenue and you can at least say to nursery yes i rang them they said blah blah blah and you never know they might even help you.

have you not had a 3.5y check then? perhaps this is my area, not national or international?

No, no 3.5 year check. 2 year check done with a nursery nurse.

I could phone them, but you have to talk to the answerphone and they decide if you need to be called back. Or you go to clinic and wait. With dd (1yr).

unless you WANT strategies for encouraging him to poo on the toilet then i wouldn't bother.
If you're happy to let him do it at his own pace then tell them that.

I reckon he'll do it at his own pace - we waited for wees, and he got it really quickly. I'm happy to wait, but don't want nursery 'marking me down'. [paranoid about precious first born emoticon]