Back Again! Back Pain Support Thread

[PavlovtheCat]

Only right I start the new one seeing as I was responsible for the last one ending so abruptly !

This is a support thread for people with back pain (that does not even cover the description of hell that back pain causes). It's for all types of back pain, for long term posters with chronic pain (including those on the upwards journey to recover), short term advice through tough acute episodes and all the in betweens.

We moan, winge, share successes, guide each other and hand hold through the maize of a million medical routes and options, treatments, investigations. We internet shop as a form of pain relief, drink wine, take strong painkillers, eat cake and we go through lots of heat packs!

We don't always have the answers but we do have a lot to say about it all

Here are the links to our previous threads:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1871592-The-Back-Story
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1992406-The-Back-Story-Continues
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/2023274-More-Terrible-Back-Stories

Queen, did you get advice on whether that would okay? If the patch takes a while to kick in, tailing off the co-codamol gradually does sound like it would make more sense than stopping suddenly.

Sorry you're having such a hard time of it. I really feel for those of you going through this with small children - can't imagine how I'd have coped with this level of pain when our twins were really young.

queen, it oh so definitely does get easier. I worked different shifts each week as a midwife and had constant stress and anxiety about work/ childcare. And my health was fine. Even having both in regular school and nursery helps. Then it gradually just is easier. Maybe not mentally but physically. Actually, we as parents did the I'm the Tiredest thing for years with hindsight. Much better to unite in knackerdness and have a wry smile about it. Could you re start your career in some way? I only really found my niche in my forties and became an expert in one field. I miss it, but glad I did it.

queen how old are your babies now? they are still baby/toddler right? My back problem started when DS was 10 months old. Only for a few weeks at a time with some break of a couple of months in between before it finally went properly when he was 2 from which I have not ever recovered. DD was 4.5, she is now 7.5. It was so so fucking hard. And it is still fucking hard, BUT, it is getting easier. Their understanding is hugely increased, we still get hardly any time to talk until they are in bed and we are i am knackered but there are now times when they will entertain themselves together, like right this second, both playing with their new woody/jessie toys, given DH and I ten minutes, during which time we are both on the computer not talking to each other Although, we have just both got in from work so are winding down i have pretty much collapsed DD has always been careful and empathic and helpful, but DS was 2 and needed me so much more than she did, bot just age wise, he was more needy/needed cuddles, fusses etc than she did - still does. I know that's probably not huge comfort that it still seems so far off, but there were times when DH did everything as I could barely get out of bed, let alone parent and it's easier now, my pain is largely more manageable/I have adapted my parenting significantly and accepted there are aspects to parenting that I just cannot do (rough and tumble of any kind for example) and also they have increased their independence. I am sorry that it's so hard for you right now.

Day 2 of work done! I have moved desks, had a lot of help from colleagues, and offers from others to shift my stuff. my new desk is in pride of place on my new floor! and is a huge attraction, it's big and makes me look quite important! I am like the welcome party to my team, so there is no chance of me being stuck in the corner ignored even if I wanted to be I feel a lot more positive about my return from team point of view, I think this might be a chance for a new start, new floor, new team, new dynamics etc. But, I spent all morning pulling spines of old notebooks to throw away and didn't realise how much that hurts my back! plus walking to and from the confidential waste bin, as I have properly de-cluttered (for the new start) bending and stretching to clean my desk for the next person etc and i really hurt now, meds have been taken!!!

pavlov do you ever watch The Apprentice? Lord Sugar is quite small so sits at a big tall desk with his seat on a plinth to make him look important...that's you!! The Boss. Glad your team mates have been helpful. Drawing up the lines now will be helpful in terms of what you can or can't do. Actually sounds quite positive once the changes have settled.

I'm lying down. Again. Had a pretty lovely day bar the vile pain. I feel like I'm always moaning. Mostly I have it under control but today started badly and upset me because I had nice plans. Anyway, it was all good, really. I have just got to accept the pain day by day and bring it with me and allow it to be. It's been a while since I used the 'angry lion' analogy. Maybe I need to use it again and keep the lion nice and calm.

queen I wouldn't want to encourage you to go back to work if you love being a sahm, but if you miss working maybe you should look very carefully into the financial side. You may be entitled to some tax credits or something that could make it viable. Even if you are not better off, you might enjoy working and be furthering your career. The back pain is a challenge to working of course depending on what your job is. What did you used to do pre kids?
You sound a bit down, could it be related to the new drugs? Are you feeling worse?

Thank you for the encouraging words and kind welcome. My rheumatologist would like me to try pregablin or gapepetin (sp?) but I'm on many serious medications for my RA and I'm loathe to add another to the mix.

reckon it will be another month or so till I get seen by the specialist orthopod. Not that I am holding out much hope for anything that will come out of it; the damage has probably been done. Woe is me!

OK, enough self pity....I need !

My counsellor talked about the first five years being the most difficult and it's often about just getting through that time intact. The kids are 2 and almost 4, pain through both pregnancies but was ok between but could hardly walk after the second birth. It's evolved since with ups and downs. DD1 starts school in September which I hope will help.

The pain issue is just another stress on top of usual parenting, plus the impact on my mental health means it's very difficult to cope with the constant ness of being at home full time. It was also suggested we could have some relationship sessions - on the NHS and they even have Saturday appointments! I do think that if he understood and I believed he understood, because of his actions and words, it would be a lot better. Pain is also a killer in the bedroom! Advanced planning is required to ensure I have enough pain relief.

I did pop a couple of pills, I feel a lot better and I'm surprised how much pain I'm in without them. I'll try without anymore unless desperate. If I'm ok tomorrow I will start on the normal paracetamol.

Oh and career, I was doing some independent study for accountancy - passed three exams and stopped as I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing. Teaching Classics is the other option and I have a couple of options for shadowing when I am ready. I'll finish the accountancy level this year, I was going to start soon as my back had eased but since the MRI I feel like I'm in limbo. Plus sitting hurts for the time it would take. I do some stuff for the church and will up that, perhaps with helping the school too.

Pavlov - glad the second day has been more positive, I hope the new colleagues are more understanding.

Matilda - glad the day was good and hope the lion stays calm. It's a struggle when there is a constant niggle or pain.

Fucking tramadol induced insomnia

Pain vs sleep vs pain vs sleep.

Even my night owl DH is snoring away next to me.

Insomnia sucks. I hope work is managable.

I'm in pain. Patch is not helping, taken paracetamol and that isn't helping. Popped a 10mg amiltripiline in desperation as I can't take any cocodamol. Being very irritable at poor DD1. I feel terrible but I can't help be annoyed at her refusing to go to the loo for no apparent reason while running back and forth with her pants round her ankles. I just want to retreat when in pain, not be asked to do x, y and z and be sat on and leaned on. DD2 isn't so bad as she is lighter and far less wriggly.

to pavlov's insomnia. Didn't take my amytriptiline last night as had drunk wine but not great today. Sat too long yesterday albeit not really sitting. Lying back making myself as long as possible iykwim?

queen you sound extremely well placed to resume a career when you are ready. And schools totally love financial expertise on their PTA or governing bodies. Keep the faith.

I got to sleep at 3:30am woke at 6:20am to DD announcing the tooth fairy had been AND let her keep her tooth i know already mummies know everything and I said I would get up. HA!!! 8:20am and I crawled out of bed, although I only dozed feeling bad for being in bed for those two hours, should probably have just got up. shower and coffee and in work for 9:30am though so not bad. But, having just had fish and chips lunch I am now hanging, I could quite happily crawl into bed now and go to sleep and I don't usually do daytime napping. No such luck, got to go get DD in a moment, then go visit a friend. It's either visit friend and have newborn cuddles and a nother coffee or go to the park with uncharged mobile so not able to surf the net, then to get DH from work at 5:30pm. Fucking hell how will I keep my eyes open ?

Back pain has increased at work each day and some sharp pains down my legs are returning with a vengeance after easing, but nothing I didn't expect. Woohoo first 3 days done, bank holiday on monday - yey!

matilda hope you are doing ok and managing to sort your flare up of pain to a reasonable level?

Update on the patch - the pain isn't so bad and no cocodamol today. Perhaps the amiltriptiline is helping, luckily I don't feel like passing out but I've had more cups of coffee than I can count. In fact the GP told me to drink coffee to counteract the amiltriptiline sleepiness! But I'm not in the crawling the walls due to the pain I was in yesterday.

I have been wearing small heeled boots (wintery weather meant getting out my boots and coat again), I'm not sure heels are a good idea but they are comfy.

Pavlov - I'm glad I'm not the only one struggling to get up. Not long now and then a lovely long weekend is waiting.

I'm wondering what's happening with this urgent referral - on Tuesday it will be two weeks since the pain clinic made the referral (well via the GP who sent it on Thursday night), two weeks being the guess as to when I'd be seen. The NHS website is advertising the ability to compare services and their wait times, I can't find it, even on the laptop. I presume the wait lists are now so atrocious they aren't public anymore. With the GP and pain clinic waiting on that appointment before they can offer anything else I'm getting impatient. Is it worth calling the hospital to check they have it and what the wait time is likely to be or will that annoy them - have to wait until Tuesday now anyway. I waited forever for my physio app until calling and finding out they didn't have it, took a year in all as they lost the second referral too.

Thanks. Quote a good day to be very sore since I've just had a three hour OT assessment for my legal case. Looking at all sorts of aspects ie care, house adaptations, travel etc. she was nice but quite sensible. I don't think she'll be outrageous in her recommendations but because we are talking about the rest of my life it will be a sizeable sum. Hope she writes a good report.

Now ready for a nice lie down!

Ps she said it was the first time someone has asked for an outdoor sofa

queen very definitely worth calling the hospital and asking for the neurosurgical secretary's offices. They will be able to look you up and see where you are on the waiting list. Sorry to tell you that the waits round here are about 5-6 months. I'm not sure whether urgent is really regarded unless CE is suspected in which case it's an emergency. One option can be to see the consultant privately then get put onto his nhs surgery list.sadly the nhs is just hopelessly overwhelmed.

Matilda - is the legal case a medical negligence claim? I'm meeting a friend next week who works on such cases but the NHS side. I'll be asking about her cases related to disc issues, very interesting but I'm sure I don't have any legal claim.

I hope it isn't 5-6 months as it's the reason for the GP fobbing me off, plus the pain clinic and the physio didn't want to see me before the appointment. They all seem to think it will be very soon. I think finding out the wait time will at least empower me to request interim support to manage things better - perhaps requesting to go back to the pain clinic. They are worried it may turn in to CE, which would be horrible as I assume emergency surgery is far more likely to result in a less successful outcome - not necessarily the best surgeon, a potentially tired surgeon/team and a more rushed procedure. Not to mention not being able to plan my own practicalities of childcare and help after the surgery. I'm not doing very well at not lifting and bending after all.

queen I could not move my leg. At all for a while. I waited 17 weeks and 5 days to see the neurosurgeon. Which was 2 days short of the 18 week maximum waiting limits. Not sure if that is nationwide or local PCT limits. I am not saying it to be miserable, but don't want you to get your hopes up of a few weeks and be crushed when it doesn't happen. On the plus side, I had surgery around 4 weeks following the appt with him.

I do know a few people who have seen their surgeon privately, he agreed it was urgent enough to be bumped the NHS waiting list and put them onto his waiting list as urgent, within 4 weeks, but it's the initial appointment that is difficult to get, unless CES is suspected.

My own re-referral for second opinion is deferred. GP has his request returned by Whatever Powers That Be and told the MRI needs to be up to date before a new referral can be made, so have to wait until that happens and call GP back and he will resend it. He spoke to DH and was quite sweet though. DH said I was at work and did he want my work number, he was like 'oh no I don't want to disturb her at work' DH said 'it's ok, she is just moving desks today' and GP said 'she had better not be moving anything herself!'

It's the weekend. I have wine. Pinot Noir. to everyone, in particular matilda having survived the 3 hour appointment with OH. I hope it comes to fruition sooner rather than later although I suspect you still are in for the long haul before any indication of conclusion is reached. When are your other meetings? next week?

losty you have disappeared. I hope you are ok. Thinking of you my lovely x

Hello ladies, I've had an ok day along with the meds. Had a nice afternoon at the shops.

Serious question do Fly London actually have any shops? Love the shoes but the sizing is useless.

yes they do Matilda, they have one in covent garden- in which case I suggest we go and try on Fly shoes together, I know where the best coffee and cake is around there :)
Hiya all, have been busy getting the stats home assignment and an essay done for the uni psych course. in the last term now wahay!! research school rocks!
I had hoped to get the other one done too but it went a bit wrong. I had to ask for an extension for the second one but she ws totally fine about it, I just felt like I was taking the piss and should have been more organised. I went to see the disability team at uni and the lady was lovely, is looking into getting a chair organised for wherever i have my lectures and some other support ideas like help lifting heavy books from library. Well done and congrats 17! well come to the mature students population, statistically as a group we will enjoy it more, do better and appreciate it more than our younger counterparts but who's comparing? Bet you will love it! and make sure you go see your uni's disability team, don't feel hesitant and guilty like i did, they are there to help anyone whose health is impacting studying and life in general.
I can't remember all the new stuff so i'll have to go from memory- just read through 5 pages! coz been away from m-net a while and wasnt even lurking.
Queen your story sounds sooooo similar to mine. I had low back pain now and again in my 20's but the problem really arose in my 1st pg, had spd in both, 2nd spd was way worse and it did go away for a while after each pg but then returned and became chronic last sept. my kids are age 4 and going tobe 2 in June.
tips for pregnancy- most importantly do aqua aerobics- it really helped keep my pain levels down. second- dont feel bad about taking codeine, many docs get cagey about it but ones that will give you the whole story will admit that it's ok to take in pg

i have go, 4 yr old, will expand on later xx

I am considering applying for a new job. Full time, hours that may well be unsociable, some working away from home. I never thought I would consider that. I never thought there would be any job that would persuade me to work full time again until ds was older. But. This job is just ideal for me. Thinking about doing it makes me feel excited about developing my career, and I think I stand a fab chance of getting it. Except. This stupid fucking back problem, and ds only just Starting school in sept. But. I think I can perhaps resolve that last bit as in time I might be able to manage my hours a little. It means retraining but uses my skills ready gained, and develops my 'detective'. skills and interests! The income will for the first few years be on par with now but in time I may see a rise in salary on experience, chance to progress.

What the fuck do I do about this fuckng disability? Who would even employ me?! Other than my current employer who can't sack me easily?! Is it even worth considering it now? it might be the change I need.

It's a difficult decision but is there any harm in applying and then making the decision?

Well. I could apply, be successful, then have to pull out or be refused on some reason that they pretend is not back related. Then I would be gutted. If I accept I can't do it, or it's not a good idea then I just won't apply. I suspect I will apply and see where it takes me, but then I will just really want it once I have applied. What if I get it? Would my children be ok if I work full time? It would mean the best of me being taken more than it is now, but full time would mean more money, as although on par to now, I don't work full time now, two thirds time, and I would be quite a happy person as it would be so fulfilling. And I would not be sat at a desk all day, but it would involve some night work with no notice, called out on duty etc. Maybe I should wait a few years... You can tell I am managing my pain ok ATM, as if I were laid up in agony I would just cry at not being able to apply.

I am in pain this weekend, not helped by lifting children and trying to fly kites but my attitude to it feels more positive, which I suspect is largely due to being back at work and therefore I am now in the 'nothing is going to stop me living my life' attitude. It won't last

pavlov is this a one off opportunity or something you could look at doing a bit later? You sound so keen and longing I hate to rain on your parade. But. So many, many times you tell us how fucking hard it is to get through the day. Oh dear, it's one of those times you'd just give anything to be rid of all this shit and normal again.

maizie it's lovely to hear you so full of enthusiasm for your course and I'm delighted the disability team are being helpful I suspect they are under utilised and love to have the chance to use their training.

17 hello and how are you? Tell us how you are getting on. It's been a bit quiet here lately .

I'm sporting my rather nice new red Fly shoes. I wasn't sure at first but they are very different for me and I feel rather racey! The other two pairs are going back because they don't fit. Def need a trip to the shop. Though actually have no money. Did buy truly gorgeous top from my new favourite, Mint Velvet. Must stop.

Hope everyone else is ok and enjoying the nice weather. queen hope you are ok and I'd be interested to hear how the patches are going?

Pavlov,I would think very carefully about leaving public sector terms and conditions. My current contract offers six months paid sick leave in the unfortunate event it is needed. six months. It's like a trap though as I would be crazy to leave but all progression in my area is through the private sector.I'm good at what I do really good but worry that I won't be reliable enough.

wishing everyone a pain free rest of bank holiday. I'm trying to cut down on my interneta bit but couldn't resist checking in