More Terrible Back Stories

[Matildathecat]

This is the support thread for all sufferers of back pain. Acute, chronic, agony or niggles, we are strictly non competitive. All newcomers very welcome. (Though be warned, the language can be a little 'ripe' ).

Here are our previous threads:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1871592-The-Back-Story
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1992406-The-Back-Story-Continues

My story long and grim but basically had failed surgery for disc prolapse, then further failed surgery to attempt to salvage the situation. I have nerve root damage and severe scarring around the nerve at L5 which won't get better. I'm 48, can't work, take a lot of drugs and have a blue badge. Currently battling several different agencies for ill health retirement and other benefits.

But I'm ok, having some fun despite the pain and have made some lovely friends on here.

So come and join us for moans, advice, downright rants or just a laugh.

Oh gd to your back going, Pavlov? Not as result of going in sea, was it? Sounds like u took it easy.

Pavlov, are u actually ok to go to work? I type each time I read further along and have just read they, historically, your symptoms come just before an awful, awful episode. I really hope this doesn't happen and have no idea what might help/ what to suggest. Do you?

I've woken, as ever, with horrible ache at too of pelvis on side uppermost as I lie in bed. It makes me feel sick.

Poor pavlov i know you mentioned those flu symptoms before and then a bad episode. Don't drag into work feeling so bad, if you can get out at all go to GP and cry at them. Honestly you have been getting worse for a while, there must be something they can do. Also those meds you have been taking don't seem to suit you and you should get something else.

Frozen if you aren't busy today, why not try new drug while kids at school. Give you time to wake up a bit if it does make you sleepy.

Arghhh, pavlov honey! hope this isn't the start of another bad spell. Too bloody depressing. . But. If you can't go to work then you can't. Please don't compromise your health because you don't want to look bad.

frozen, had a good chuckle at your weekend doings. I often accuse my DH of things he hadn't done. I'm sure he's done something else I haven't discovered so it's fair, right? did you take the new meds? Why am I even asking? Sicky pain horrid, though.

Must get up for my M&M meeting. Mirrored shades difficult as have decided they are a bit obvious and will mark my pharmaceutical swapping intentions with an Orange handbag (well what with Orange being the New Black...).

Matilda - M&M, OistheNB ... I won't say a word. Lol
Have FUN you two!!!!
Perhaps not the chapel sort of fun (OITNB in-joke).

Anyway, ahem.
I did take Robaxin. Shoulder tension feels eased but my goodness (polite, huh?!) does my hip ache make me wanna chuck up!

And it's not like I can lie on my back - OR my other side now that the ache has 'set'. Like a rock cake!

Poo

Luckily, after dropping DS at school camp, I've a massage n counselling session at cancer charity. Still feel weird and bad to b going there. Like I'm taking advantage of facilities when my lump's out. Reeeeeeeally helps though.

My DM didn't even call me on reading my 'so much pain I'm gonna chuck and can't cuddle DD' Facebook 'status'. How's THAT for a status. Want to take back her mothers' day card. Why does everyone just wanna shut me up with meds vs actually help me to find out WHAT THE PROBLEM IS. Nobody has reeeeeealky done that. Not specifically fir above pelvis pain, anyway.

Just worked out that this isn't a wig:
Looks like an afro. Is it supposed to b a croissant? Really?

Pavlov, I was thinking that you might b better off at home vs schlepping into work - just as Live said.

Lozzy, hello.
Hope you get some clarity here. Welcome to the gang.

No...it's a jammy dodger. Honestly, that's what I thought!

Hope the counselling massage is good. If they could be combined could you have two hours?!

Sorry for horrid pains. Firstly, guessing it's too early to see if new meds helping, secondly maybe a muscle relaxant won't help nerve pain? But might help work out which is which. Are you taking several times a day? Had a quick read and seems to be a very regular dose. Or is it just as and when? Sorry to be so useless.

If you can make it into London one day we could have an Orange Handbag meet up...

got to work. boss said use last of my leave (not officially sanctioned for strike day), so saw a client and thencame home. no picket line this afternoon for me. threw up twice today. feel rotten and i hurt. boo. can't take strong meds as dd has diving after school run. but least i am in bed for now. thanks for good wishes, sorry for selfish posts and not replying to whats going on with everyone, will do later.

at international drug dealer. I would probably make a good one as I am not glamorous, no-one would suspect a thing . I have however been in jail, a few times

going out, to do work drop (DH) school run, diving lessons. DH just woke me from a lovely much needed, very rare nap (never do daytimes naps unless unwell/high on meds/horrendous pain that I need to sleep off) and I had stuck to the pillow through dribbling! ew. I feel groggy, aching, sore, but dare I say marginally better for the nap? we shall see in 10 mins when I am driving the car.

Sorry for everyone with increased pains and aches. hope they ease.

Now THAT's a cool one-liner, Pavlov! Lol
You got me guessing now - criminal psychologist or ...?

Wondering how M&M Day went.
Too tired to respond but will read all your posts.

Oooh you're on re orange handbag. I love in the sticks (relatively). It'd be easy to spot each other ;)

Sorry I've not been on for a while. I've been reading a bit but need to read the thread properly to catch up. I hope you are all ok and managing your pains. Big hugs to those who are having bad times. I'll try and be more of a giver than a moaner in future posts!

I did have a quick read through my last threads and I'm sorry for being so self-absorbed in my comments. I was consumed with pain and was mentally not with it, as the pain was getting worse and worse, and then pneumonia made everything so much worse. I was so low about everything - stopping breastfeeding, feeling so helpless, not knowing how to get better...

I'm now out of hospital and the pneumonia has improved. I have pleurisy pain which isn't too bad and the cough has pretty much gone which has helped all he back spasms. I think .... And hope ... My back is getting slightly better. I can now walk without crutches. The spasms still come but aren't every day. My helper is fantastic and is being great with the baby and toddler, but I think I still a way off being able to pick her up. I have absolutely no idea how I will be able to look after her on my own. (I am running out of money to pay the helper!) The specialists don't know what's wrong - still think it could be a spinal infection or osteoporosis (caused by the medication I took when I got my blood clot on my lung in pregnancy). They all look at my back and say 'hmmm, it's the wrong shape and in spasm and has a funny bit sticking out'. I'm having a bone density scan sometime soon to check for this. The herniated disc and building discs aren't pressing on nerves so shouldn't be causing the pain. The mri results said degenerative disc disease and schmori's nodes which shouldn't cause the pain.

I saw a mention of breaking bad - we are on season 6, 4 episodes to go. Loving it!

Thank you to all of you for your support - this thread is a godsend and makes me realise I'm not alone in this. Xxx

Yikes this thread has 666 messages, thought I better add one quick! fizzle don't feel bad about having a moan or asking questions that is the real purpose of the thread to help support anyone having problems. It was great for me when I had a really bad episode a few months ago. Now you are feeling a bit better you will feel more like joking and chatting about cake and handbags though. I hope someone may be able to give you some advice about finances.

Fizzle!!! (Running towards you with big open-armed but gentle hug).
You HAVE been busy!
Ffs you n Pavlov, I'm THE one for being a self indulgent poster. Four months of experience at it now. As I said before, pain, emotion, being overwhelmed, fatigue, crap memory affected by aforementioned and drugs... please allow yourself to be human and say how you are doing without expecting yourself to feed back to others.
Glad your helper is super-helpful. And with the progress you're making, albeit with question marks n 'imperfections', you'll be picking your DCs up and having an almost pain free cuddle in NO time!
Soooo glad you're getting better re pneumonia and that you seem to have specialists on the case.
Orange is the New Black awaits you! There's life after Breaking Bad. Lol

Phew, I was worried what we'd do with our evenings after BB ends. Is Orange is the new black a good one to watch with hubbies? Or is it more of a girl programme? I like prison based programmes (weird psychologist in me is intrigued by the minds of criminals) I see it's on Netflix and we have that :)

And thanks for your good wishes. Finances are a problem - it's a pain because I'm self employed so only get stat min maternity pay. We saved a bit to cover me for 6 months off work, and my baby is already nearly 4 months old. But the pot is nearly dry! It's funny - I went into the kitchen yesterday for the first time in a few weeks (because of immobility), opened the fridge and saw it practically empty and what was there had gone off. Bless my husband - god knows what he has been feeding himself and my son whilst I've been ill and I'm hospital :) I was shocked and so did a mammoth online food shop which is coming tomorrow.

Pavlov - sorry you are in such pain. Big very gentle hugs xx

I need some advice

I'm not sure if I'm being ridiculous or not

For those that don't know I have remitting relapsing MS which means for months I'm fine, then I have a flare up with pain and fatigue
And then I get better again

I've never missed work because of it because I'm very good at prioritising work and resting when I can

Got made redundant before Christmas and its made me have a bit of a rethink

I've applied to uni as a speech therapist and I've got an interview

Am I being ridiculous? Am I going to cope with it?

I never disclosed my condition to work and don't really want to disclose it to uni either

In my opinion, I would discuss it with university. It's very different to telling work, as the uni should be able to advice you on how best to cope if and when you have a relapse. It wouldn't affect whether they give you a place. Or alternatively, go for the interview without saying anything, and if you get it, then get in touch with student services and ask what support they offer if and when things get a bit tricky. I say follow your dreams - if this is something you would like to do, do it - we only live once xx

I worry more about what happens after uni -no one can say I wouldn't get a job because of the MS but they can find a million and one plausible reasons not to employ me

A lot of the training is in clinic settings so its not something I think I could keep quiet if the uni knew

I can only go on my experience as an occupational psychologist. I help companies recruit the right people and large organisations and places like the nhs will have very strict procedures to ensure there is no negative or positive discrimination. But I'm not saying we live in a perfect world and I know discrimination still takes place, especially I'm small comoanies where they don't realise the laws or don't want to abide by them. But if you were looking at seeking employment in the public sector, you should be fine x

I see what you mean 17 about working in clinical settings, if uni know, they will know, those networks are made and may form work after? is that what you mean? Have a good talk with the uni about your fears. What is the alternative? not do it? how will you feel if you don't do it and the MS is the cause of you not doing it?

My old manager has MS, two children (now teenagers) and she worked full time. I don't know what type of MS she had, but presume from how she had ok days and less ok days and some bad days that hers was progressive? It's in stages but are they progressive stages? Sorry I don't know enough. She was not able to hide it though. She was a fucking excellent manager, one of the best managers around. She helped me through some tricky times in my job. She retired on medical grounds, but not horrendously earlier than her retirement age and that was her choosing. She could have reduced to part time but she refused to do so.

frozen not quite with the job - if you watch the news today you will see a group of public sector workers on strike. That's me. But you won't see me on strike, I am just losing the pay, chose to return to bed! I work with clients in the community for the most part, but go to prison occasionally. It is psychology, but I am not trained specifically in psychology, although the training is cognitive behavioural theory based. maizie you would enjoy it, the work I do is largely risk assessments and I analyse the 'minds' of criminals all the time, to try to figure out what risk they pose, and I have to use my knowledge to continually assess their behaviour, what they do and say to manage change in risk.

It's why it's such a headfuck being on the meds and why I kick against it. I can make rational decisions, but much slower, I don't feel so sharp witted and worry I will make the wrong judgment call about things, but that also applies when I am in pain.

fizzle so glad you are feeling better. Don't ever worry about self absorbed posts. We do listening and handholding just as well as discussing BB and Fly Boots

Talking of which. I have just watched 3 episodes of Orange is the New Black. Love it! It doesn't pull any punches does it? It's definitely female oriented. I think partner's might be fine with it, enjoy it even, but I think some of the humour is something that would have us women laughing at it for very different reasons, and the bits that make us also for different reasons. You will see when you watch it.

PAV that's exactly my fear yes, you can work anywhere in the country once qualified but I've got children in schools so won't want to move. How I perform in clinical placements will affect my job prospects

My options are

Do the course and don't say anything, keeping my fingers crossed that I don't have any noticeable relapses

Don't do the course

Do the course and disclose my condition to uni and take my chances with the job market

That's if I get offered a place obviously

I won't tell them prior to interview as I don't want the interview to be prejudiced in any way -either positively or negatively

There are different types of MS with a whole host of symptoms -mine is the best type to have as I do have well periods which can last months if not years

Progressive MS means that you don't have the well periods -you have flare ups which can improve but the symptoms don't totally go

17 yes, that's what she had then. Her condition was deteriorating as she left her job, I think that's why she chose to leave, as she had made a big impact in her role (as a manager, they don't just manage teams, but are involved in other aspects of offender management, research, developing local policies for multi-agency working/risk management/public protection) and she was the lead in cognitive behaviour programmes run for offenders.

I think that, if I were in your position, I would apply and be accepted on my own merit, which it sounds like you are well in the running to do. I would not disclose. But, I would consider/be prepared to disclose further down the line if I felt that my condition flared up at a time/in a way that meant I had to take some time off work, or avoid certain physical aspects of the job, so that they could manage my condition. I do understand what you are saying about the clinical assessments, but with the right support you will do brilliantly, if you disclose, where you might not do so well if you have a flare up with no support. The idea of the support is to enable you to do your best, with whatever adjustments need to be made, and for your disability to not hinder you. That will/should also be the case within a working environment. In my job, there have been lots of adjustments made, and I sometimes feel at the amount of money spent on me to be able to continue working, in terms of a new chair, a new desk (soon), my hours are more flexible, I have had a lot of time off sick over the last two years, at full pay. But. When I am doing my job, I do it well. I believe it is worth the investment (did, feel that less so now as I have lost some confidence in my skills as they have not been stretched as they should due to not pushing forward with training that I used to do). I do realise that I am fortunate in my job as although my individual colleagues are a bit shit my HR and managers have been fabulous (my current manager less so).

So, there are employers out there that recognise skill and will do whatever it takes so have those skills on board.