More Terrible Back Stories

[Matildathecat]

This is the support thread for all sufferers of back pain. Acute, chronic, agony or niggles, we are strictly non competitive. All newcomers very welcome. (Though be warned, the language can be a little 'ripe' ).

Here are our previous threads:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1871592-The-Back-Story
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1992406-The-Back-Story-Continues

My story long and grim but basically had failed surgery for disc prolapse, then further failed surgery to attempt to salvage the situation. I have nerve root damage and severe scarring around the nerve at L5 which won't get better. I'm 48, can't work, take a lot of drugs and have a blue badge. Currently battling several different agencies for ill health retirement and other benefits.

But I'm ok, having some fun despite the pain and have made some lovely friends on here.

So come and join us for moans, advice, downright rants or just a laugh.

Ahhhh, lovely. Typical second baby story. Third, not so much for some reason.

Hope it's distracted you from your horrid back pain.x

Sorry cross posted. Will answer your questions tomorrow as need a clear head.

It's important to note that my experience was, hopefully not typical. But, the surgeon who operated may not wish to identify problems he may have caused. IME it was better to get a fresh set of eyes on the MRI.

i have heard that about 3rd too! My second was fast enough I thought at 4 hours! But it was really intense, there was no doubting it was labour! I got my first contraction at 7:20am, I remember it clear as day as DH was up with DD letting my lie in after I had been pacing the stairs for much of the night (he was overdue), i woke, dozed, and then the strangest thing happened. I saw my little boy, on my chest, pull himself to my nipple and latch on. In a half awake dream/thought. And BAMM! instant he latched on I 'felt' him latch on, from my nipple straight into my back, full on contraction! Cool eh?! A vision contraction to kick it off.

But, the be fair, I was 4 cm dilated since before the sweep couple of days before, when they said 'are you sure you are not having contractions?' 'no' 'ok, you are going to have this baby in less than 24 hours I would guess' 'yet!' wrong. So I had already done some of the work without knowing.

That was a fabulous quick and easy birth. I love birth stories.

matilda I am sure my situation is not the same. I have read that scarring is relatively common so i guess it's not unfeasible that it could have happened if it all went absolutely according to plan in theatre. But, I do think that it would not get worse like it is if it was scarring? Would it not have done it's 'getting worse' in the months post-op, 6-12 weeks after? It started to deteriorate about 10 weeks in if I recall correctly, maybe a bit later, but has not stopped getting worse yet. But, you are right, not at 9pm on a friday!

But, you are right about second opinion. I have already decided, given your experiences that a second opinion won't hurt at all. So, I am going to see him in April, and see what he has to say, then ask my GP for a referral to another one in a different hospital for their view.

oooh i might start a birth story thread about images linked with contractions! Got to think of a shorter title than that though

Hahaha. Meant heightened (or whatever) loo seat. Hee hee hee
Smear test: 'why are you here?' asks smeary nurse
'For a smear test.'
'But you're not due if allowed one for another year.'
'But I've just had XYZ and asked for one - and they booked it in.'
'Well they shouldn't have.'
'Oh. You've got another year. Go and buy yiursekf so eying instead. Sounds like you deserve it.'

So I did.

Gorgeous dress I've no occasion to wear it for. But every desire to. Lol

Oh, car blocked in by another Blue Badger. Told receptionist who accused me of parking in wrong place. 'You've parked in disabled spot so tough snit' kind of response (I've paraphrased that one). I told her that although I was 41, I'd had (went into detail - loudly) XYZ. Got stroppy. She got uppity. It was reception-crossed n peeved BBer stand off. Told me I'd have to wait.
20 mins later old dear and her daughter appear.
'Oh have I blocked you in? I'm sorry. I did ask the receptionist to let me know so that I could move for you!'

Hmmmmm
Lol
Dress salvaged my afternoon.
As did sparkly shoes in Next I'll return.

Matilda. Sounds like a therapeutic day! Massage hurt or just relieve?

Pavlova - talk about getting there just in time! Wow. Fantastic news for them - and wonderful for you to be the trusted friend who looks after their first child. Lovely.

Their DD can come over in the mornings every day afaiac, my two got dressed so well and quickly with her here! guess the novelty would soon wear off. DH took them all to school (she goes to different school) AND dropped me off at work first. That's what happens when I get up early enough Bloody hurt though. I am going to try it more often though as after 3 cups of coffee and pain meds, I was reasonably together by 8:20am.

Both of my DCs' labours were 4hours. First one was scary as midwives told me that I wasn't in established labour - so it was a 'pushing down on Toulet seat, clutching at disabled hand rail' jobby.
Scared. Went into shock.
Midwives left me alone (DH there but said 'they've told you' stuff) and came in 9 minutes before DS was born.
I'd stopped feeling contractions as had gone into shock. Properly.

Second time, had had a molar pregnancy and a 'normal' miscarriage so used savings n went for a private labour. BIG decision fir us. Best thing I ever did. One of.
To have people on the room with me, gas n air AND an epidural. Wow! Civilised!

wow, that's was hardcore the first time! I had the most amazing midwife the first time, her name was Charlotte! It was her first birth since returning from ML of her own first and she was the loveliest, most attentive woman, didn't leave me at all it felt. She made tea and toast for everyone (had my nurse friend there with DH) when it all went quite before 2nd stage of labour, or whatever the giving birth stage is called and she came to visit me on the ward the following morning before she left to say goodbye at the end of her shift and wish me good luck and give baby a cuddle! , but ended up working on the ward as I had to stay in for a week, and she really looked after me! Unfortunately I had to have the placenta removed manually and I was gutted as I didn't have epidural, and needed to have a spinal block for the removal of it! ARGH!

Second time the midwife was quite business like, not unpleasant but clearly busy with others who were probably also about to give birth, but when I actually came to give birth she was very encouraging, directive though! No fucking about with her! She did apologise after as I had asked for diamorphine and she had refused. She said after that there was no time but she didn't want to tell me how quick it was going to be as she couldn't be certain!

Pavlov. Glad that your first time was... a dream (in terms of care). Never easy for anyone physically, of course. Lol. Sounds like second one was more job like than a vocation.
I'm tired. Reeeeeally tired. Off to sleep / try to watch corrie. Too tired to read my new asleep book (gp recommended). Does look good. No, not boring - to put u to sleep

frozen the birth itself was very unpleasant for a few reasons not least the op afterward, lovely midwife has overridden all that negativity luckily!

Enjoy your watching as I have taken 100mg of tramadol and 50mg makes me wired, I don't think I will be sleeping for a while...

Didn't make it to Corrie. Fell asleep.
My aspirations were placed a bit too high last night. Lol
Woke up several times with over-stretch feeling across my hip bone and in line above top of pelvis bone (both towards air vs laid on bed). Boring!!!!!

Hope you're all enjoying the weather!

What a beautiful day.

In the interests of boosting morale I have booked two holidays and one mini break . I really need to have things to look foward to and the past two years have been so messed up so it's great to feel confident enough to makelans. The mini break is with my BFF, we've done city breaks for years and I've missed doing that so much. It's a bit modified but that's ok.

Been on both cocodamol and Trammy sr but pain manageable on that so all in all I'm happy.

pavlov, I'm going to try to answer your more serious questions about my experience of nerve scarring. As above, I really must emphasise my story is not typical, thankfully.

Firstly my surgery was for a disc prolapse but my overwhelming problem was back pain with only mild sciatica.

As soon as I woke up my leg was twitching like mad. Of course I had normal post op pain but my leg got worse not better. Then after about two weeks I hit a wall and frankly never got any better and in many respects got much, much worse. I also lost a lot of pelvic sensation and can't really tell I need a wee until I'm bursting, which isn't good for the bladder.

My surgeon ordered a post op MRI eight weeks later but kept on saying everything was fine . He then said the MRI was fine with no nerve compression.

I thought I was going mad for months as I failed to progress. The general feeling was that my disc had re prolapsed. Then I was 'lucky' to be seen on the nhs at a top neurosurgical hospital. The surgeon there reviewed all the scans and said straight away I had 'very significant' nerve compression caused by scarring. In fact he said it was the worst case he had ever seen.

He attempted to remove the scarring a few months later and during that surgery he saw that the L5nerve root had been cut during the first op. Hence the pain, loss of mobility and the scarring. Surgeon number one had totally fucked up and the lied to me and tried to fob me off.

Once again I failed to recover and my final MRI showed even worse scarring which was always a risk I understood.

Sorry for the essay but what I'm saying is that 1) your case sounds very different and 2) it's very sensible to get another opinion because clearly you are not recovered enough to continue as you are.

Did you get any injections sorted? Hope you have had a better day because your current pain levels don't seem acceptable or sustainable.

Hiya gals, the weather was wonderful today- fresh in the shade yes, but really sunny and summery feeling.
matilda I cant imagine what that must have been like to go through, such a shitty rollercoaster and particulary being lied to, stupid deceit and mind games. How likely is it you will be able to sue him? of course that that cant turn back time but you should at least get some compensation and others get warned off the surgeon.
Thought you might like a couple more birth stories pavlov et al.
My first started at 5 am, put the tens machine on, my sister came round at 9 and we set off to the hospital about 12 noon with dh as well. It was a shock to have to wait to be seen in the assessment bit for about 20 mins-when they finally did they found I had high BP, protein in my wee- the start of pre-eclampsia, and a UTI. My plans to hang from the cool hammock things and go in the pool were dashed. I was 4 cm, managed until about 6pm with tens and gas and air but stalled at 5cm and had some deccelarations so they asked me if i wanted to go straight to cs or try oxytocyn etc- I could NOT make any decisions at all in my mental state. Then he had another and it stayed down, they decided to do emcs, ripped the gas and tens off me and wheeled me into the anaesthetic area. Had about 20 mins of contractions with nothing to help and I screamed my head off. Amazingly quickly he was born and they lifted him up so I could see him- I didnt know the sex till then. He cried straight away and after the worry and drama it was the best sound in the world. They found he was back to back when they did the cs, and there was blood behind the placenta and the cord wrapped twice around his neck so they made a good decision to do the emcs. He wouldnt feed the first 2/3 days but night midwives helped me tube and cup feed him, I was in hospital 6 days. I had spd with that pg and the lying flat for the cs gave me awful back pain the first few dys afterwards. It felt very strange to have the cs- like I had been hiking up the mountain and then suddenly took a helicopter up the last bit of the journey.

Second time I was very keen to have vbac but scared it was going to go wrong like last time. I sat and swivelled on my ball religiously to get dd into the right postion- we knew what sex she was this time. It kicked off on a saturday night after I had done a huge food shop that afternoon (nesting related?). I had to go in once cx were about 5 mins because i had had a cs(watching for the scar) - got to hosp with sister, dh and my ball at midnight and found i was only 1cm. Contracted all night 3 mins apart but still 1cm at 8am argh!! a midwife felt my stomach while i had a cx and then they believed how strong they were and egreed i couldnt go home- they wheeled me round to the ante-natal ward and I had to wait it out but g&s was deff off the menu. This was sunday am- Monday afternoon the cx's stopped for a few hours when dh was visiting and he took me out in front of the Thanmes to chil out in a wheelchair. Still had the tens on, afraid to take it of tbh! dh went home and cx's started again, midwifes were pretty steely to my situation until i burst into tears in front of the nurse's station and they suggested doing another exam- hurray i was 3cm and they wheeled me round to the labour ward again at 1am where i practically pulled the god-damn gas off the wall to get it in me! I rang up dh and my sister to get them back in! I had spd again this pg so I wanted to avoid the epidural but due to the latent period of about 30 hrs I had slept only a couple hours per night and was exhausted. I had one at about 5am and the world changed into a wonderful place. I saw the dawn over the Thames out the window and the sky was a mass of flame-coloured clouds. I slept a bit, one of my checks i was not as progressed as they wanted but at the next one I was 10cm! stopped having anymore epi (it was a "walking one although i never did) I thought it was never going to work because my one-sided epi-dural made my numb leg and arse feel to me like a huge ham! but the midwife explained it so amazingly well, I pushed her out in 30 mins and she looked like a smurf! I have a pic of just after she was born and I have a massive smile on my face- and she is very blue and smurfy in her wee white hat they put on. I had a bad tear because she had her arms crossed over her chest as she arrived and my sister refused to tell me what it looked like when it happened. I was high as a skunk on giving birth. I lost 1 liter blood so I managed to avoid a transfusion. She fed immediately after they had stitched me up and I left the hospital the next day around 8pm, walked out and got the bus home with my family! so different to the cs birth.

sorry it was a massive post- hope you like the detail pavlov.
The group I was part of at the time were spooked coz i disappeared off the net for a whole week! Some people posted through bits of the labour, some got their dh's to post! we had all sorts of every type birth experience you could imagine from hospital, all the drugs, to home birth, from 2 days to 20 mins! ( it was her 4th or 5th!). each one had a wonderful story from the experience, you would have been in hog's heaven pav

had a lovely day today with my parents and dd. went to a chiro at 12 but had nice play in the garden and a mini shopping spree for dd in Surbiton's M&co. Did a bit too much walking but it was worth it, i'm ok now after rest, meds etc but the car journey back was a bitch. Have had 2 morph pills today- trying to keep to one but this week is do what needs to be done and next week i will have dh back and that changes things- plus next week i can try taking the gaba but not this week since while looking after dd without him.

I am off from uni now for a month. Had planned to do work on my essay now for few hrs but i feel frigging exhausted. nearly fell asleep in my dinner! It was M&S prawn curry, yum!
Have made choc truffles for my mum fr mum's day tomorrow, also bought her some roses- beautiful pale violet colour with darker edges and some pink hues on them too, so pretty and I have never seen that colour before. My sister is around tomorrow ( she lives here until may) and she is cooking lunch as her present so will see her most of tomorrow.
hope you are all resting peacefully and with zero pain

Lovely birth stories, girls. Mine were both kind of lovely, too.

Wishing you all a comfortable night. Thinking of those we've not heard from lately, losty... Hope you're doing ok hon.

Nighty night.xx

maisie love the detail! what difficult times for you. Two very tough births. Do you look back on them with feeling of trauma or has the passage of time eased the memories? My first was potentially quite traumatic, but I remember feeling a sense of 'it's all going to be fine' but not sure if that is memory editing it for me! I remember DD getting stuck and suddenly there was not one midwife but 3, plus a few male doctors stood at the end of the bed, half of it was taken away, it was all suddenly very fast and no longer calm, but i just kept talking to DD telling her how wonderful she was and what a great job she was doing! My brain has sort of edited those bits out and I remember the good bits, the fact there was a storm, and lightening as DH and my BF left, tea and toast, cuddles, watching her sleeping, feeling absolute overwhelming love that made me cry (i cried a lot over the next few weeks, very overwhelmed with how perfect she was, how lucky I was). The blood and panic and having a doctors fist up my to pull out the placenta bit by bit in the background!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all the wonderful mothers here, to those who continue to be the best mothers they can despite the relentless pain. You are all courageous, determined and I am glad to know you all. You children are all lucky to have you. It is hard sometimes, but, I would not change being a mother for anything in the whole world. I feel very happy today. The pain can go f**k itself today, the sun is shining, I have had teacakes and coffee in bed, DD made me some wonderful things from her sewing club, DS wrote 'mum' for the first time, and I am still in bed having one last coffee before salmon breakfast and a walk on the beach. I hope you all have the best day ever and that your pain levels are as manageable as possible

Matilda - sooooo excited for you: holidays n mini breaks sound wonderful. So fantastic to have things to look forward to (and meds. to pack)!

Matilda, I gasped. I hadn't read/ taken in what had happened with 1st surgeon and scarring in second. Sad and angry to hear this. Surgeon 1 needs his head kicking in to be prosecuted - or SOMETHING. but you've probably no energy- like me.

... for pointless pursuits.

Shame we can't post the baby pics up here, Maizie