More Terrible Back Stories

[Matildathecat]

This is the support thread for all sufferers of back pain. Acute, chronic, agony or niggles, we are strictly non competitive. All newcomers very welcome. (Though be warned, the language can be a little 'ripe' ).

Here are our previous threads:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1871592-The-Back-Story
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1992406-The-Back-Story-Continues

My story long and grim but basically had failed surgery for disc prolapse, then further failed surgery to attempt to salvage the situation. I have nerve root damage and severe scarring around the nerve at L5 which won't get better. I'm 48, can't work, take a lot of drugs and have a blue badge. Currently battling several different agencies for ill health retirement and other benefits.

But I'm ok, having some fun despite the pain and have made some lovely friends on here.

So come and join us for moans, advice, downright rants or just a laugh.

It wiped me out to begin with. If you can bear to stick it out the stoned feelings did pass but it's not as nice as one might hope

Hi everyone mightbe saw you have NCed. You sound a bit better recently. Well you are out clubbing! How about just taking the new anti inflammatory if you don't want anything addictive.
17 mn and online shopping? Plus Tv of course. Have family bring you drinks and snacks. I like to read but sometimes too much for brain when you are not feeling well.

Family bringing drinks and snacks??

Chance would be a fine thing

Dd1 (13) has reached the grunting stage and can't hear anyone due to excessive headphone use

Dd2 (10) is moving to the park but now she's back she's moaning about me watching the voice

They are supposed to be at their dad's tonight but he's gone away with his girlfriend -but that's another story!

Send the dcs off to another room and watch Breaking Bad. It's my guilty secret!

Seriously hope you're ok and being looked after even a little bit.x

Don't you lot ever stop talking I started posting this earlier today, and then my battery died on the laptop and I have not got around to charging it. I can't type more than a couple of lines on the iPad without wanting to chuck it across the room due to it's ridiculous auto correct.

maizie you asked about how I cope with the two little ones (not so little now, DD is 7.5, growing too fast!). Well, Grin and Bear it comes to mind. Relying on everyone I can around me, and cbeebies and films and too much time on the computer. DH went to america during a period of particularly bad pain and not walking well, and also on a stag do when it had gone badly, and when he was working in his old job as a chef he worked, as you know, horrendously unsocial hours, and I was often managing on my own. When I was in so much pain I didn't know what to do with myself the iPad and the laptop were my lifeline. DD was reasonably good at learning quickly to not jump, pull on my hand when we walk even, no carrying etc, but DS was 2 when my back first became a problem, and he simply didn't get it. It took a lot of having to be too harsh with him, and on occasions very cross (due to him say jumping on my back) for him to realise he can't do those things. But, he still forgets now. This week, he hung/tugged on my hand when holding it, send pain shooting down my legs. I guess, really, I cope because there is no choice. And it does get easier as they get older, he is much better than he used to be, he does understand that he can't jump on my back or hang off my neck etc. DD though, she is an absolute star, the very best little girl in the world, she is so empathic, caring and looks after me, she is tentative and sensitive to my pain and responds quickly and with such care, without me asking, which is amazing for such a young girl.

And, you are right about the cooking. DH cooks mostly because he is a bit of a control freak in the kitchen and moans about how I cook, which, as I can't use half the pans we own (le crueset are heavy!) or get into the cupboards etc it tends to be mostly pasta! But we don't get fancy meals here any more At Christmas we had shop bought gravy and mince pies, while his clients where he works (in a hostel for vulnerable adults) got freshly made gravy, fresh baked mince pies, the works!

I am sorry I have not responded to everyone's comments btw. I have read, nodded, agreed to many points and listened to what's going on with people. I have not been able to comment though as there is so much to say!

DH is talking to his mother about summer. She really wants us to go. I really want the children to see US in summer, spend time with granny at her house, DS has never been on a plane and he is desperate to go on one! I think I would actually quite like to go, but, I just can't see how I can possibly do it, he is explaining to MIL about insurance, and what if I aggravate my back on the journey - 4 hours in car to airport, 12 hours flight if not delayed, several hours hanging around in another airport, 1.5 hours flight, 1 hour car journey is likely to aggravate it - as I won't be covered by insurance and will be landed with huge expensive medical bill, and then have to get home again. I was screwed coming back from London in a 4 hour car journey.

I would quite like to go to sleep, wake up and find this is all some fucking bad dream and I am actually fine.

I am not walking well. Pain is not high - probably around 5/10 - but constant, and then when I walk more than a few minutes that increases to perhaps 7/10, until I take meds and lay flat/knees bent for a bit.

Oh. BTW. at thumbwitch. you are very welcome to be here, sorry you need to be though

oh and speedy recoveries to vintage and to fizzle.

And how about our other surgery peeps? Who are we missing who had surgery quite recently? There are one or two more of us aren't there, who have been under the knife?

Confession:

Didn't go.
Went shopping with a friend. She offered / asked and got home at 7pm.
DH was relieved not to go.
He had texted me earlier to ask 'You'll have to tell me what to wear!' First time he's ever asked in TEN years of having known him! Lol
He was frightened
Am now in bed eating dinner (mugshots) and drinking options hot choccy

All I can say is that my energy levels in the morning are far greater than after 2pm. What I think I'd like / be able to do in the evening is, in reality, just not possible. Too old. Too tired. Too ambitious and lazy. Plus, panicking DH played me House music to demonstrate thrash I'd not like it if we went.
He was bloody right! And we'd not have had anywhere to sit!
I'm like a piggy-eyed kid in a candy store where life's concerned at the moment. Want to ski, swim and swing from the chandeliers because ... I can (operation neither killed nor maimed me and I'm so relieved and grateful to be able to do ANYTHING I like - having been petrified I'd be left unable even to run around with my little DCs). In reality, I'm just ... Too lazy n boring. Still little ole me!

Mightbe - that's not lazy and boring, that's just sensible Oh.

back to Pavlov - thank you! And I think you're wise to avoid long journeys, the flight back to the UK from Australia can be a killer even with my not-anywhere-near-as-bad problems!

Oh you cruel, cruel people! How COULD you possibly do this to me?!
Positing so many comments. I've no chance of retaining more than one sentence of ONE of them. It was 'what's a mesh thing?' Not a silly question but someone's already put a pic up for you
Sorry if I've not responded to anything else written for me as I really do appreciate it. I just can't keep my eyes open. ME - the person who was going to go clubbing tonight! Lol

Erm 'posting'. Not 'positing'.

Fell asleep on the sofa again

Woke up, had a cry on the cat

Came to bed, had another little cry

What is wrong with me???

just a quick hi and bye as I am going to sleep in a short while- gosh you lot were up pretty late tonight too, typical it was the one night I didnt check here late.
hope its not tmi but have just had some rather lovely marital activity of the bed-related variety. Have been wondering if I'd manage since after the op- and it had been ages since last time-it's hard enought o find time with 2 kids under 5 but with my hip annd back bits that had made it longer. dh has grown a beard in between- so that was something new and novel yt still him! think i am a beard convert now
I may pay for it tomorrow- as i type my middle back muscles feel tired and sore and clenchy but they probly would anyway since not had a great day pain and activity wise.
Thank you so much for your post pavlov - you dont know how much that meant to me, no matter that there is little solution but you described so much of what i am living at the mo with the holding hands with kids thing. The mad things that one never would think would strain the back (or hip even??!) You just hit the nail right on the head. Dd is 20 months- so similar age to yours was when it started being an issue. She was trying to bodily scramble up me today- she wants me to lift her, I tell I cant and I squat doen to hug instead but i recently thought shouldnt do that either. once hunkered down she tried to climb up anyway. "Grin and bear it" could be a very apt title for today and yesterday. I am having a htink how to make the week do-able, going to parents' house on saturday for couple days, etc, but it is only a week and you made ma feel more like I can do it, and I dont have to manage as long a period as you did- that must have been frigging draining as hell.
17 sorry to hear you are feeling emotional- are you feeling down too or is it like "relief" crying where you just need to let off some pressure? I have been really teary last week, happy and sad things wre setting me off- like one born every minute babies being born, shit like that.|
Hope you are feeling better in hospital fizzle , rest and sleep and try to eat well honey.
I did try spelt scones out- dh didnt like them, or the normal batch i made either but there's only one left (sent a few homw with my parents for my sister) so they cant have been that horrible! I had mine with Dalfour no sugar jam and fat free greek yog- yumm
does this mean you now have a damp and salty cat 17?
ds has been in pants all day for a week now yay! he gets a prezzie tomorrow. dd still obsessed with Wallace and `gromit's curse of the Were Rabbit. It really does stand up to repeated viewing.
My dad an dh put our big (50 inch) tv up onto a wall bracket from the table stand it was on and this has totally improved the room- much more space. And i sorted out all the old clothes from kids and myself and sent them away with my parents to give to the charity shop near them- they do go regularly, have a car and I was nevr going to go down carrying all that with my back/hip. should i call it hack or bip to save letters anf typing time?
I want to take dd to cinema too while the boys are away- been meaning to for a while, maybe "frozen" she loves that.
She hugged ds while they were visiting, sooooo cute. ds pushes her away a bit but he did hug back a little, they are eventually becoming a bit more of a duo. getting competitive too though, if i say oh can you pick up that for me they dash to get it- so that's a nice reason to be competitive if they r trying to be helpful
Have to have to have to do studying tomorrow arghhhhhh , timed essay weds, stats and experiment design test on fruday , 2 essays to habd in by 31 and 2 home assignments to do during april!
on an entertainment note, looking forward to my comedy nights out on 8 and 17. only have about 3 people who can look after thing 1 and thing 2 so havnt been out together for ages! damn i've said all this already havent i? sorry.
had to throw away a whole pack of vebison sausages today because they said 5 march- but i looked at them the other day and i swear they bleddy said 25 march! dh didnt believr there was a solution so had to be personal error(ie mine), but i am sure i bouhgt them well after 5, why does throwing away food affect me so? I hate the waste, i really hate it, gets to me.
my mum is making a quilt for dd, she made a wee one for each of them but this is a big one to fit a proper wee kiddie bed not cot
any tips on eyebrow shaping, threading etc. want to try it but am scared i will fuck them p or someone else will fuck them up
mightbe dont fel bad to cancel- I am sure you could find somewhere achey-back friendly if you do a bit of research first. what neck of the woods are you in? sorry if you have recently said. brain like a sieve -blas?
Having fun making some new words here. I try whenever i can but that one is just an acronym, not very difficult. Or other types better like- "cleaverage" to influence someone's decision on an important issue by dressing accordingly and owning a dd bust.
"suburbiton" the particularly suburban parts of a large se english county of Surrey. May be those bits surrounding the rest and so in between the inbetween areas of city and countryside.
and on tht bombshell i had better bid you good night ;0 :))

ps forgot to also say hope vintage that you are also feeling better and coming home soon, what was the outcome of the conflicting advice, did you just err on the side of caution with the physio's and rest mostly? think the active thing is about bloot clot worry?? what is MLT ? sorry if i am being stupid.
has your contagious hip pain gone mightbe? hope so but think it has come my eway now. feels like the inside top bit of my thigh bone is all bruised, and pain in the buttock. have spent most of the day in it tbh. and not sitting/lying down mush. habe decide to stay in bed all day tomorrow and tyoe from my bed, happy sleepers zzzzzzzzzzzzz
re diets my mum lost 2.5 stone with the Dukan one- more of a lifestyle change really as you have to contmue doing it a couple times a week forever. I am not going carb free but when i cut out wheat i tried to cut down on carbs portion, have more lentils, chickpeas and beans at most meals as they feel like carbs but ave plenty protein too= and always take the whilegrain of any carb- rice, spelt, etc. new potatoes (less starch). I often dont eat protein and carbs at the same mael as it is easier to digest and makes you eat more fryuit/veg as they are not counted as carbs or protein- have whenever. at the moment my achilles heal is chocolate, red wine and wotsits. heard a joke today- "my wife hasnt had a dessert in ten yrs! howevr I have had several half-desserts in that time
so glad to find another Life-lover!! so many have not heard of it. here's a great way to kill a few hrs- "ultraviolet" on 4-oD - short series (3 long episodes?) about vampires in a uber-realistic pre-Christopher Nolan version where Jack Davenport nd Idris Elba (THAT is enough reason to watch it surely) battle the undead in some kind of govt-approved agency- it is seriously the cats knackers!

I think the tears are exhausted and pissed off tears

And yes the cat was salty

I have a trapped nerve in my neck, I've been studying a lot and not looking after myself. Also rising food and heating bills mean I can't eat properly and heat the house. My DD gets fed a and is warm before anyone starts bleating about neglect. But I've. No partner, friends or family and a shit job. I've never had back or neck pain before so feeling pretty low. Can anyone advise.

Welcome, Chickens. Nobody on this group would bleat about anything. We have enough shit in our loves so understandably respect not to dump more on each other. You certainly have your fill. I hope you feel even a little but better through letting off steam and being understood here

MaiZie, I
Was going to write in a similar vein to you. But was too shy. Must've been the moon. But also feeling happy that back op hasn't completely ruined that. In fact nunny machine seems to be ... helping.
I've said too much.

maizie 20 months is so so little. I found it difficult to explain so DS understood, and also that I had to even try and get him to understand, that really upset me. Does he like sticker books? I used to put a film on and sit and do sticker books with them both for hours while I lay in bed barely unable to move, counting the hours until DH got home! I still do that now when I am feeling shit and DH is at work. When he was on his stag do, I had asked him not to go, as I was literally unable to move without crying (something I would never normally do) and to top it off, when he was away DS was unwell and so I had to deal with that too! I got a friend to come and take DD swimming, but she didn't want to stick around as DS started hurling! It was a really long 2 days and he was in the doghouse with me for going (not a close friend). I also found MN was fabulous for keeping me vaguely sane and for holding my hand.

I asked DH yesterday if he thought I was going to get better than this, he said 'i hope so' and I told him I wanted to know what he thought, not what he hoped. He wouldn't answer, and asked me what I thought. I said, that realistically, I could not expect more than good days, rather than it getting better than this. We had a chat and agreed that therefore I must find a way of accepting this, or else I am going to miserable for decades.

DD asked why our kayak is at our friends, and DH said it's because I can't use it. I have said I want it back. I am going to kayak this year. DH will take it down to the sea, right by it and I will get on it. As long as I don't carry it, drag it etc I should be fine. And if I am not fine, then fuck it. What is the worse that can happen? Fusion? That might be a longterm solution anyway, so in the mean time I am going to take my drugs (ok, not the nortriptyline) and I am going to just do whatever I would normally be doing, within reason. I am taking my life back.

17
Feel bit better post-cry? Sometimes there's just no obvious reason. And sometimes it's hormonal, too. I'm FAR more hormonal post op and stress of it all. Also it gets on too of me. So, sometimes it's the need for relief.

chicken welcome, sorry you need to be here, but we are a great bunch, if I do say so myself

Firstly, what are you taking for the pain? Secondly, have you been to see your GP about it? What makes you think it is a trapped nerve? Most often, if the nerve is trapped, something is trapping it, a disc, or something else, and so that needs to be investigated.

A hot water bottle in essential if you don't have one already. As well as the added bonus of helping keep you warm (we don't judge on here btw, we are purely about supporting each other) it is a fabulous fabulous source of pain relief. You can rest it on your neck area and it will ease the pain a little. It's no magic cure, but it's as close to one as we have found.

What are you studying? How old is your DD?

We talk a lot on here, about our back pain, and about lots of other stuff, so don't be put off if sometimes a post gets missed, or if you can't seem to keep up, we are not ignoring, just have a lot to say

Maizie, I wish I could remember even a bit of what you we're typing. Gd that sounds rude but it's not meant to. My memory is hopeless and despite reading every bit, all I've come away remembering is that your memory is AMAZING did you steal mine?

17 frustration and being overwhelmed has been a hug source of tears for me. I sometimes would cry while making a cuppa, or while watching some rubbish on the tv, just for what seems to be no reason. This shit we are going through, the meds we take, the affect on our lives, it's overwhelming at times.

Least you have a lovely furry hanky to mop them up

At least it's a beautiful day today, hopefully will lift me a little bit

Contemplating taking dd2 and her bike to the park -it's only 300yrds lol but it's a stroll out and I can park my bum when we get there and enjoy the sunshine

Chickens I'm a single parent too and on a low income -it's tough when you've no one there to pick up the slack when you are feeling overwhelmed so you have my sympathy

Pavlov, advice is so conflicting re how MUCH of my life I can safely take back. But I bet you kinda know at the time and know from experience the extent to which you'll pay the next day. Sitting on a kayak would be ok. Legs too far apart? Helped to climb on? Bet u can! And it'd give you hope and zest again - not to mention give your cd something to look at. Get someone to take a blummin photo she yay do go. I'd get that kayak back if I were you!!!!