The Back Story Continues

[Matildathecat]

This is the support thread for all sufferers of back pain. Everyone most welcome to join.

Here's our first thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1871592-The-Back-Story

My story long and grim but basically had failed surgery for disc prolapse, then further failed surgery to attempt to salvage the situation. I have nerve root damage and severe scarring around the nerve at L5 which won't get better. I'm 48, can't work, take a lot of drugs and have a blue badge. Currently battling several different agencies for ill health retirement and other benefits.

But I'm ok, having some fun despite the pain and have made some lovely friends on here.

Please post and include your story if you'd like to. No niggles too small, this is strictly non competitive!

Aha. See what you mean. You know, it's mumsnet that's helped with that (not bejng 'poor me'). Reading and being in direct contact with (PM and text), MNers who held my hand and who are actually worse off than me. Really can't explain how that's made me feel. Anything but 'poor me'. Just so lucky n want to help. Feel so bloody useless. Any ideas? Seriously.

Bean bags not helping as can't sit vertically. But pass the fat cushion for between my legs! Lol
At least I can turn myself these days. No leg straps, back drain or catheter. I'm a free woman.
In many ways ;)

Planning a sunglasses sale as someone I know wants to sell from my place. I'll contribute what's earned (my side) to a cancer charity.

Andro, aww. Speechless. You've both made me accept my panicking, doggy-paddle reactions.
I really hope that this 8 and a half week roller coaster, is going to give Somekne else hope. Even if they can accept their own journey and the 'natural' path of emotions along the way.

And I did nearly run. All the way up until 30 minutes before the op.

It's all just a literal pain in the arse now ;)

goodness do you think you are feeling that pain in the bum because you have reduced your drugs.

Hi helibee sorry to hear you are in a lot of pain, I hope they find out the cause soon and it is something not too bad.

heli welcome. As said, sorry you are needing to be here, but you are very welcome Did I miss anything there? How long will it be until you know about the cause of the kidney pain?

How are you amazing goodness? because, you have just gone through a horrific, traumatic experience, not knowing what your future held, with bravery, dignity and a fucking great sense of humour.

I have been out for my second night out this week. Literally unheard of. And fuck me I am feeling it now. In fact, i feel in more pain having spent an evening at a friends, playing Articulate and some other fun game, sat down and getting up constantly, than I did at the Frank Turner gig!

All my muscles in my back are now seized up, right up to my shoulders. Like one solid spine. So I have taken diazepam. I only drank two glasses of wine (not even big ones) and last glass was at 10pm latest, but don't like drinking and taking diazepam so i've only taken the 2mg. I have heard some shocking things people do when they mix alcohol and diazepam, although their mixing is more like a bottle of wine and 20mg diazepam but still cautious is best I think. I used to love drinking wine and would quite happily drink several glasses in the evening to wind down from work, in the week. Not every day, but maybe every other day, it was what got me through the day, evening, bedtime routine etc, that big glass of wine waiting for me. Now, i don't enjoy it so much, and don't look forward to it in the evenings, I can give or take it. It surprises me and I actually miss looking forward to it sometimes, but most evenings, I just don't fancy it any more, tastes wrong. Fucking drugs, mucked my wine taste buds up!

losty how are the SI joints feeling now?

Losty funny to wake up from your nap, in a room full of lads. I guess you will have to get used to that now your DS is 14. Hope the injection site is ok and not sore. Is it another of those that takes a few days to work?

oh yes I meant to comment on that! how embarrassing! and that they weren't even bothered?! or, could they have been talking to you and you didn't hear them ? Did your DS say anything when you woke up amid them, hair all over the place?

Pavlov you certainly have to pay for your social life these days! What you need is a roman banquet style meal where you can recline on a couch. Get your friends to organise that next time.
Your missing enjoying wine reminds me of when I was pg and went off coffee. It was weird.

Goodness, as the others have said, you ARE an amazing woman. You have have been honest, brave and I know you haven't had a choice about the situation but you did about the manner in which you faced it. You have inspired me and as Andro said, if others are ever in the same boat as you, your threads will be where they will be pointed to.

Pavlov, I can't imagine 20mg diazepam and wine are a good mix, although floating on a cloud maybe

I'm waiting for 2pm so I can take some more painkillers, which is about now I guess. I think anxiety is adding to my insomnia this evening!! That and my 22 month old son reading Peppa pig to me with his Lego light in his cot, apparently he can't sleep either and "Peppa no like 'leep mummy"

I'm blushing n emotional.
D'ya know, I didn't have much of a soh before all 'this'.
Appears that we all have one installed in our steering wheels. Inflates suddenly on impact. I was a right old misery guts working hard, loving it but feeling sorry for myself

Live, I felt this pain in the arse (muscles) straight across the back of my bum when I do the squat things with one leg forward, one back. I'm
A fool, really. RNOH physios showed me a couple of each of the exercises just before I left - to check that I'd be able to do them independently she go for home. I then sank into my hospital bed. I was packed off home with a sheet telling me to do 10 of each. So I did the full-on 10. Nuts! Can't seem to trust Physio I visited. She told me to scrap my RNOH routine and just so 4 'pansy' ones. So now, nutter here is doing the originals (5-7 vs 10) PLUS wanky ones.
But get this: my nunny machine has just arrived.
(Tumour was near nunny nerves). So, I'll be visiting my nunny doctor again tomorrow to learn how to programme my, erm, dildo.
My life just gets more n more exciting. Lol
DH thinks it's hilarious.

Things could've been so very different.

I'm on happy-path.
I think.
Waiting for care plan, still.

Lol goodness that brings a new meaning to doing your physio exercises!
You are right when things get tough having a laugh with friends (or a cry) gets you through.

heli unfortunately diazepam and alcohol can have a very unpleasant interaction and can increase violent behaviour, loss of control, completely blackouts, during which time behaviour can be completely chaotic. But you have to use a lot of both for that to happen, not anything like the levels we all drink and use meds. I don't know anyone that takes 20mg diazepam at once for pain relief!

Feeling lonely this morning (exhausted n trying to sleep). Not up to visitors but have sen what a beautiful day it is outside.
Thank goodness for MN... and ebay.
I'm a naughty, naughty girl.

heli your little boy sounds lovely, even if he should have been asleep at 2am!

Hope everyone has a relaxing, low pain day. If the sun is shining, enjoy it if you can.

ooh what have you done?!

We're here goodness. The best sort of friends because not only do we know how fucking annoying being limited by your body is you only have to 'see' us when you want too and if your want to ignore us we won't even notice you are here .

I SO want to go to the beach but DH is off to visit his family a couple of hours away and I don't fancy trying out driving with my new back in his crappy car with three boys and two whippets on the back seat! I have consoled myself with a stroll round the garden, sun was lovely and warm on my face, I filled all the bird I feeders and noticed a few little blue forget me nots flowering. Lovely. DS1 was totally unphased by his mother emerging from sleep in the midst of his friends. He is ASD and total cliche of a brilliant science/maths brain with not much of a clue about social skills! He has an ace group of friends who grew up with him and love him as he is . He's a lovely gentle giant of a boy.

YY goodness what have you bought?

Morning Pavlov, how's your muscles? Did the diazepam do the trick?

Wow, goodness, you sound like you are going to have buns of steel and kegels to match I hope the gynae can help you with your new machine.

Pavlov, I don't drink which is probably a good job from what you describe!! I did try and lift DS2 at the beginning of November and my back seized up completely, it took 12mg of diazepam before I could move again. I wasn't allowed to lift him again until the middle of January!

What did you get on eBay goodness?

My dsis once got up to 60mg diazapam for anxiety, it didn't work for her and they kept upping her dose. But this shows how low dose is for back pain.
How is everyone this morning. Its sunny here but not doing anything right now. Debating taking dd for a walk. This afternoon my mum is coming over and we will compare bad backs and have a roast chicken. It is the easy roast I have started doing since my back went with one of those roast in the bag chickens and frozen roast potatoes, but better than nothing.
Have fun on eBay goodness. What are you shopping for?

live 60mg wow! It is known as Mother's Little Helper though isn't it?

losty sensible to not want to risk messing up your shiney new back. Is it feeling 'ok'?

I am sore today, but the diazepam took the edge off enough that I slept well, and my entire back doesn't feel like a board. Just got to get on with it as I DH is working and I have a children's party to take the children to. Luckily, host is a good friend so I will mostly eat party food and drink coffee.

I have read and heard that 5mg for back pain is better. And the Back Sufferers Bible recommends at least 5mg if it is needed at all, she talks about taking enough that you are fit for nothing, as the point is, do nothing, relax those muscles. My GP won't prescribe me that much, I did ask him! he said if I need more than 2mg, take 2.

live that roast sounds perfect to me!

Oh, I found another thing I can't do with a bad back...I can't scoop out ice cream from a tub with an ice cream scooper! It hurts my back ! how about that!

Pavlov, let the scooper/ spoon sit in boiled (kettle) water for a couple of minutes, first.