The Back Story Continues

[Matildathecat]

This is the support thread for all sufferers of back pain. Everyone most welcome to join.

Here's our first thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1871592-The-Back-Story

My story long and grim but basically had failed surgery for disc prolapse, then further failed surgery to attempt to salvage the situation. I have nerve root damage and severe scarring around the nerve at L5 which won't get better. I'm 48, can't work, take a lot of drugs and have a blue badge. Currently battling several different agencies for ill health retirement and other benefits.

But I'm ok, having some fun despite the pain and have made some lovely friends on here.

Please post and include your story if you'd like to. No niggles too small, this is strictly non competitive!

Sorry you are back on the drugz but if it helps take it for now and start living again.  Have fun tomorrow.  It was 17 with the interview.

so, anyway- yesterday turned out a bit bad because i had done too much on sunday, planned to do as little as possible on monday but both dh and i didnt get enough sleep at night- both of us had a nap in the day while the other watched the kids - ok, but while dh was asleep ds was being quite demanding and i was trying to resist putting a film on to keep him quiet because i dont want them to have too much sreen time- so I was on my feet the whole time and the pain slowly crept up, dh woke up and said he had to go do grocery shopping for them but it was already their dinner time so I couldnt have a rest, had to neck more meds, sort them out something very below par for dinner and was stuck in a bit of a pain-hole for the couple of hours (!!) that he was gone shopping. The reason i am a bit vexed about it is because when he went to nap i said what shall we do about shopping and he said he would go before they needed it, so in my mind he could have taken one with him. Plus he got home too late for them to eat it.
its all ancient history now so I wont bring it up- it feels like it would be petty but it feels like he didnt care about what state I was stuck in as i had said i needed a break, not to be standing up anymore and he went anyway. later he said i looked tired and had i been crying, and he was surprised when i said a little over earlier coz he didnt think we had argued badly- no just he hurt my feelings badly enough I didnt say anything.
I had to go out and take a library book back after he got back- but by that time i had taken a couple of morphine and got on top of the pain again. can't believe i had to pay a tenner fines because i forgot to return it before my op! stupid me really.
siorry to vent and rant, just wantd to get it out somewhere. I really don't want to be in that position again but if I try to have a proper talk about it , it will probably turn into an argument and I don't want that. I will try to get put into the same position, try to be more transparent and say what i need, when to rest etc but it's very hard. He doesnt seem to work out that if i have been to uni or had to go out for something then i need a rest when i get back. the last few times i have gone out and been abit ragged on return- he has gone for a sleep becuse he is knackered and i have agreed coz i dont want to be mean , but been in pain becuse of it. Does anyone else find this a problem? you all sound like your dh's know what to do? He is very stressed at the moment so it's not his fault, he is not sleeping well and yesterday had toothache as well.
Anyways, how are the rest of you this evening? That sounds very promising 17
well come Ellie, I am pretty newish too, not an expert like the others on here
matilda have been thinking about your no-sitting situation, maybe you can single-handedly bring back the chaise-lounge? talking about it makes me really fancy one too actually.
Those bone spurs sound painful lost, do they not have anything they can do to them, that is really disappointing. I have heard about them occurring in feet alot too.
wonder how your pool-jump went pavlov, hope it was ok. Bet your dd really appreciated the effort.
matilda speaks very wise words fizzle re the bf stopping. I stopped slowly and I never got too much of that awful engorged feeling that some others i knew at the time got from stopping quickly. But if it's desperate and you have to, pumping just enought o feel comfortable can help you to avoid pain and discomfort, hot baths/showers, massaging while in there and some say cabbage leaves from the fridge helps too though i never tried that one! watch out for any signs you have mastitus as sometimes it can happen if you get a bit too full. hope you dont need any of this advice and it all goes smoothly. don't worry if you feel very emotional about it- it will pass in a few days, it's the disruption to the hormones, getting extra hugs of either the husband or the baby variety will help
hope you get a nice lie in tonight goodness, and all the rest of you sleeping well , xx

Not sure if this will work, find this humerus&filters[primary]=images&filters[secondary]=videos&sort=1&o=0DS1 posted this on FB today made me and feel like I was doing an ok job!

I have been asked if I can work on Tues next week, quite excited but also worried as to how I'll cope. It's been a while since I went in and I am broken but if I rest up in advance it will be interesting to see how I cope. I think it will be my last full shift judging on how I feel ATM but I won't know until I try.

Great advice there about stopping BFing Maizie, I had forgotten the engorgment and being a bit sore/desperate to go to release a bit in the shower.

It's so frustrating with your DH, another example of how people just don't understand the levels of pain we are in. In his head he meant well but that doesn't help you at all does it? Frustratingly I find treating DH like a child and writing down what I need and how I feel works best. There is nothing to be done for the bone spurs no, there is one big bugger but there is just so many bits that aren't quite right and some big fuck of blood vessels near by (like the aorta, not having anyone messing near that!!!) plus the degeneration is at the front so there are lungs and a heart in the way. Very much a medicate for the pain and hope for the best situation.

Pushed out of my
FB group (secret support group - oh the irony). Like she cares- not. So many people seem to be so hard hearted!
Fuck 'em (said with wry smile of irony, too).
Yes! Was 17
And someone else has work coming up. Feel like you!
Excited but nervous about how I'll cope.
Gd it's good to be able to share similar experiences (and to give a fig about each other) on here. RLers who can't comprehend or relate (or who can't cope with scary stuff they'd rather stick their heads in the sand/ up their arses than look at as possoe are... harsh, unfeeling and say glib, hurtful things like 'think positive, snap yoursf out of it, you've been irresponsible to come off the meds (I was following pain team guidZnce
) Im not apologising for having told so and so as no one really cares about others' stories and I thought they'd know as were at your DC's party'.

What the ACTUAL fuck?!

Can you TELL I'm angry?

I fucking hate nits. We have only ever had them once in this house, DD had them. It was summer. We spent most of our time on Wembury Beach. For those who don't know it, it's made of grey sand. Sand gets into hair and is difficult to wash out. So, for most of the summer she had scruffy beach/sea hair with little bits of sand along her hairline that were quite stubbornly not washing out. For The Whole Of The Summer. They were not little bits of sand. They were the husks of the fucking nits. Oh My God. It was horrific. DD had long hair. I had short hair and I itched just thinking about it. I felt like a terrible mother, don't know if I passed it to our friends, or if they gave it to DD, but, wow, her head was crawling with the fucking things. I bought a nitty gritty comb and every now and again when I see her scratching her head I cover her entire hair with conditioner and spend 2 hours combing through, you know, just in case while breathing panicky breaths at the prospect of seeing one.

Talking about it is making me head itch now.

I am not going to jump off the diving board a friend of mine has said that the impact of the water on my feet will be similar to landing on the ground from a short distance such as a step in terms of the impact, even though the water will break there will be impact first, so if I am not able to jump off a step to the ground due to the jarring of my spine, then I won't be able to be sure I won't jar my back the same way. I am sad. we shall see i am never good at doing what i am told

17 good luck, sounds promising, hope you hear soon.

Everyone else, sorry I have not replied, have read though and will post later if I get a chance. Got some editing to do, have been out today (lunch) and tonight (dinner) - go me! just got in, but really feeling it now.

Sleep well. I am wired. Guess why that is?!

ellie welcome btw sorry for not saying more than that today.

matilda Tom is local. Or should I say was local. We built a fucking life centre just for him and he has just pissed off to train in London the cheek. DD was quite sad she didn't get to meet him as for about 3 weeks they were officially both part of the same diving club and he actually trained there with the other divers quite regularly. But, he was already in London by the time she joined, and he popped back a few times but she missed him. Shame as he is a bit of a hero to her, he is why she wanted to learn to dive as she watched him in the Olympics. I never knew he actually trained there regularly until she joined, otherwise I would have gone and gawped tried to get her to meet him before then.

oh that is a shame but kinda makes sense, pavlov. I wonder if it would be different if you bent your knees up to protect your spine by being a wider area on entry (with arms wrapped around your knees iyswim)- like bombing basically! It sounds like it would be difficult anyway. your dd will understand and everyone has things their mum doesn't do with them. It is just diff for everyone. You are clearly are very involved mum in general and that counts for a lot- more than each individual situation.
That sounds horrendous with the nits- I really hope to never have to deal with a severe infestation but I reckon that is unrealistic.
I am going in to uni tomorrow, I will just see how I go, can always come home at lunchtime if feeling too achey. It would help to take my hottie but is that going too far? not sure. have a pack of 1 heat patch but already have some exzema from after the op (not sure what from, plaster or pills- pills more likely but could just be stress induced) so not a good idea i suppose. I am currently debating with myself whether to bother taking something now to help with getting to sleep or if tht will be counter-productive like you say pavlov- ending up wired. I have started my first of 2 essays, done 250 words and will try to finish in next few days (total 1500 words). I got high marks on the last two I got back so feeling happy about it as i was ill with gastro the day before i did the exam.
Talking about your dd having T Daley as a hero makes me remember how mad one did feel about famous pin-ups/inspirational celabs. I adored River Phoenix and was devastated whae he died so young and so suddenly.
goodness how can you be pushed out of a fb group? that sounds very mean and unfair. ditto to fuck'em. people are far too quick to judge, too judgey judgey pants that lot i say! You cant win with the meds issue because others would be questioning still being on them . fucked if you do and fucked if you dont- so dont worry, just do what is right for you.

I loved River Phoenix too!

Wired is good I have found for working on writing etc. Once I have got past the immediate wired phase I am on a roll

and re nit infestation. Only with DD, and never again. I am On It like a Mofo now. No bastard nit will get past me

And I am sorry. Like goodness I swear far more than is acceptable.

Me, swear?
Back on another night before a big work day? Good gd! What was I thinking?

Morning, slept like a baby for once, although that could be the extra 50mg I had before bed, they certainly don't make me wired

Just popped in to see if goodness was needing company early on . I am contemplating a shower to wash out all the hedrin but as applying it to everyone last night broke me I'm not sure I'll be able to lift my arms enough to rinse it out for a while. I will have to wear a hat!

I am a sweary fucker at the best of times, I find that I've lost my ability to do to/too and similar without really concentrating like mad, then I still get it wrong, I used to be good at English.

Thanks everyone for the breastfeeding advice! Much appreciated, will send my sister out for cabbage leaves today.

I have a virus and am feeling so low. Back is no better. The doc called and I'm going in today to discuss mri results. He mentioned three disc problems, only one of which is problematic. Being referred to spinal surgeon but I am looking forward to reading the report so I can understand things better. He advised against physio for now. Will let you know more when I have the details...

I am not actually suggesting goodness that you swear too much, only that you think you do

fizz good you got the results so quickly. Not surprised it's a disc problem, the type of pain and how it's affecting you sounded like one. I hope it can be fixed simply, but sounds like surgery is already being considered.

You will get plenty of hand-holding here through this.

goodness have I understood this correctly? You have been excluded from the secret fb group you created for your support? WTAF is that about? I'm lost for words. Nearly.

Hope you have other, RL people for support as well as us lot. And good luck with work!

maizie, no! men don't think like us. You're the psychologist, right? and in my experience bringing up events that have passed ( if minor) doesn't work that well. As said up thread you really do have to give baby instructions. I know he's usually very good, though. Maybe he sees you doing stuff so just thinks you're ok now? Even though you aren't.

pavlov shame about Tom, at least you got the shiny new dive pool, though. I agree with the jarring thing. If you get the angle wrong even when fit and well it bloody hurts.

lost, yay to work. Are you on the bank? Maybe half day shifts are a real possibility for you? I don't get wired either, though do talk too much!

Waves at everyone else.

fiz ask for a copy of the report, lost is a radiographer and can help you to interpret it. Your GP sounds ace.

I am on the bank which was perfect for me, I got plenty of hours and could manage it around childcare (which with three small ones was a bit fun!) and then the trust brought in a blanket ban on using bank staff. Just like that.

I would love to help translate if I can Fizzle but I have to reiterate that it is more of an art than a science! I keep meaning to explain it to everyone actually, an MRI is an amazing tool but when you look at it it is very similar to slices of meat like you have on a roast dinner. Everyone is so different on the inside we are all perfect individuals plus the 'slices' are a certain depth thick so if you think of a slice of meet 5mm wide there are bits you can't see in the middle, just guess at from what is either side. Also it is impossible to tell how people's nerves will react some may fire off pain signals at a whisper whilst others can be obviously pressed against and not that bothered. What you get in a report is the years and years of practice and knowledge from the radiologist of what they expect it to be from what has been seen in the past. They are very unique and intelligent people radiologists, they have to make the call about what is what for big decisions based, quite literally, on lots of shades of grey. There are only a few things where you can go 'that, it is definitely that' a lot is balance of probability based on what has been seen before. The reports often say 'it appears to be' or 'the appearance is consistent with'. I was a bit gutted as an 18 year old when I started my training that we couldn't just go 'aha, that is this tumour' then mend everybody. I am much more cynical now . god I hope some of that makes sense.

Please feel free to add in some punctuation and decent spelling where you see fit. Sigh.

Oh dear

We are

Running

Out

Of space

So luckily(?) I have started a new thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/2023274-More-Terrible-Back-Stories

See you there!