The Back Story Continues

[Matildathecat]

This is the support thread for all sufferers of back pain. Everyone most welcome to join.

Here's our first thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1871592-The-Back-Story

My story long and grim but basically had failed surgery for disc prolapse, then further failed surgery to attempt to salvage the situation. I have nerve root damage and severe scarring around the nerve at L5 which won't get better. I'm 48, can't work, take a lot of drugs and have a blue badge. Currently battling several different agencies for ill health retirement and other benefits.

But I'm ok, having some fun despite the pain and have made some lovely friends on here.

Please post and include your story if you'd like to. No niggles too small, this is strictly non competitive!

Lovely, hilarious and easy read for weaker 7 year olds: The Giggler Treatment by Roddy Doyle.

My dcs are actually really good most of the time -they don't complain but I can see their faces and I like to be considerate of their feelings

They know that sometimes if I don't have my stick we don't go out but if I can get away without using it then I will

I don't have a blue badge and refuse to get one -I can have months where I'm absolutely fine and don't want to tempt fate so to speak

7, I hear ya.

Thank you everyone! You are all being so lovely.

Maiziemonkey - thank you for your support. The birth was very quick, I was induced and was only in labour for 2.5 hours (compared to a 34 hour labour with my son). I had no pain relief - not by choice, the epidural lacy was busy and I was too quick - but it was all in all ok. So much better than my sons birth. I had a numb leg for 6 weeks postpartum but the physio said that wouldn't be linked to my back pain?

Codeine, ice and heat take the edge off the pain. I should and will ask what else I can have once the mri results are back. I am persevering with feeding as a drug breastfeeding specialist advised it should be ok, but she has 1-2 formula feeds when I can't move. It's my main bonding time, but maybe I need to be sensible and realise that breast feeding isn't helping me, and probably not her.

Thank you GoodnessKnows!

The sun is shining so let's hope it will be a good day :)

I understand how awful it can be, waiting for MRI results. IME, if they find something 'well dodgy' they contact you within a working day or two.

I have just spent three days living life at the speed of someone normal god I hurt but I had a BRILLIANT time. I had a lovely friend staying (an MN'er!) and we ate, drank, walked dogs and went on a bread making course. I am spending today mostly horizontal with extra tramadol so I will have a read and catch up with a notebook and pencil

fiz I'm no physio! but I'd be very surprised if your numb leg wasn't Related to your back pain. If you are enjoying breastfeeding and can do it without increasing your pain I think I'd carry on. Blimey a PE then this, you've been super unlucky . Hopefully your MRI report will be back in about two weeks and then at least you might have some kind of a diagnosis. Tbh it does sound like a disc problem but the scan will confirm. It did help me to have a diagnosis but that in itself doesn't make you any better, of course. Discs do, eventually improve in the vast majority of cases. Managing a newborn and a toddler must be horrendously difficult, I really feel for you.

lost yay! Glad you've had fun. It helps a lot to take time out from all this crap and do nice things.

I'm a bit embarrassed, last night I had a few glasses of wine (genuinely not a lot) and suddenly felt really, really drunk. No more meds than usual. I just seem sometimes to be really affected by the meds but usually ok if that makes sense? So feel hungover this morning and in pain, too. Happy days. .

goodness going to the cinema is something I really miss. I've tried going in the day at quiet times, standing etc but basically it's no good. I try to remember all the films I want to see so I can catch up on DVD but I tend to forget (!). Did you sleep a bit better? Thinking you might have come off the amytriptiline a bit quickly...still, I know you hate meds worse than you hate insomnia so I guess it will improve gradually.

Enjoy the sun everyone.

Grr ipad generated random exclamation marks again...

Hi fiz was the numb leg following your first baby? It does sound like there could be a weakness in that area that could have got a lot worse. About the codeine are you taking it with paracetamol? This improves the effect of the codeine. I learned this from matilda . Also make sure you take some laxatives to counteract the effect of the codeine!

I second paracetamol with painkillers. Makes them super-charged! Pain Team told me that.

17 you must get a blue badge! Don't be stubborn! If you think you are eligible for one! I have one, and there are days that I am ok to walk a little distance and my mobility is reasonable. On those days I simply don't use the badge and park as normal. But, there are days when I can't walk well but have to go out, or (or open the boot - the number of times I have had to ask someone to open or close it for me, i long for the day of a self opening boot...) and on those days/weeks/months it makes a difference between going out and not going out. I find it especially useful for taking the children to their swimming lessons. There is a quick turnaround for DDs diving in particular from the school run and lesson starting. The car park is a little walk from the pool and there are never spaces close, so usually park at the far end and walk. On the days I can barely walk, I pigeon step and there is no way they would get to their lessons on time, or at all, so I would not be able to take them. There are disabled spaces right outside the pool and those spaces with my badge mean I can actually get there on my bad days. On my good days, I park as usual in the normal spaces. By having one it does not confine you to only ever using disabled bays, and taking advantage of what it can offer, but on those days you do need it, you will have it there to use. You don't take the spaces from those who need it, as that IS you! (same for you losty i know you are stubborn too!)

fiz numb leg and back pain are often related, as Matilda said. It was one of the main symptoms that I had that evidenced the sciatic nerve was trapped. your physio is a fool.

Lost, what a dreamy three days! So v glad to hear you've enjoyed them. Bread making course sounds v cool. I bought a bread maker a few months ago. Fun sticking dried fruit in it ;) bet your course was wonderful.

I can't even sit in a car properly or sit through a 1 hour slimming world meeting. A film, at a cinema 45 mins drive away. What WAS I thinking?
Nutter. Determined to force myself into normality. Do you think reducing ami might've been the waking culprit? No way round it though. Unless another month might've re habituated my sleep patterns to 'normal'.
Hey ho

I watch a lot of ipad tv series now. Saved for an ipad for aaaages and bought it for myself just before going into hospital. Soooooo glad I did.

Incidentally, a nurse told me that when a patient was taken down to theatre, her ipad was stolen. Nice!

fiz sorry for additional posts, fried brain today! I had opiate meds when I was breastfeeding, as that was when my back first 'went' badly and I could not move at all without screaming. DS was 10 months and I had 30mg codeine, was told to take it just before a feed, as it would not go into that next milk and would be weaker in the following milk supply, was told it would just make DS a little more drowsy, possibly. It didn't that I noticed! I found that, with not being able to do anything else, at all, with a 4 year old too, the nursing was the one thing I felt I was still able to do, and it was actually quite important for both me and DS to continue that as I laid in bed. your baby is so little, that bonding is important. I also found reading to DD, or helping her do some sticker books (thanks to a lovely MN puddle who sent me some) while feeding meant that while I could not do as much as I wanted, I was still being involved with both of them. But the odd formula to allow you to just rest is a good idea too. But, only continue if you feel it's the best for both of you.

losty wow how lovely! 'normal' for a few days - bliss! Hope you don't suffer for it too long.

I am stinging. I am reasonably mobile, not bend over, and back pain is about normal. But, the stinging is unbearable and nothing meds wise is touching it. Sod it, the sun is shining, I have a friend in crisis who needs me, so I am going to visit and we are going for a walk on Dartmoor. I must take my stick though, given the uneven surface and random rabbit holes!

Thank you Matildathecat and livelabove for listening and responding.

The numb leg was following this baby. It happened straight after birth and I was worried it was another clot forming (as I had to come off my blood thinning meds during the birth). They were perplexed as to what it was but they didn't think it was a clot. He numbness in the leg went about 6 weeks ago, and my back pain started about 8 weeks ago.

I am lucky because I have found an amazing girl who is helping me in the week with the children. I just want to look after them myself but have realised that I need help. I am also lucky because the baby is being good - such a relief after having a colicky first child.

Yup, it's codeine with paracetamol.

I want to carry on breastfeeding but it may come to a point soon where I realise it's not best for both of us. I had such trouble feeding my first child, and this time round it's been amazing, so I am in a mental battle about what to do. It doesn't help that I'm a psychologist and I know all the theory behind attachment and bonding, but I know it's not good for her to see mummy crying so much. I also wonder whether stopping feeding but somehow help my back recover - the Physio said there was no conclusive evidence and studies have shown mixed results about this.

I can't sit either. On a good day I manage for a few minutes with pain. Today there will be no sitting. The thought that I will never be able to sit down again makes me want to cry. It's so basic. My very eminent expert witness agreed I'm not fit to work as a midwife (no kidding?!) but thought I might manage a desk job . Do these people listen at all?

Fiz, there's no way of telling about your pain improving if you stop bf. I seriously doubt it from a hormonal pov. If you've got a disc prolapse bottle feeding isn't going to help. Glad you have good help. I employ a silly number of people to help me. It's shockingly expensive and as yet ( thanks ATOS) I have no financial help at all. Maizie is a psychologist, too! I'm finding pain a total head fuck ( is that a term much used professionally?) hope you aren't going round in circles with that. It goes nowhere.

Pavlov, enjoy your walk. I love Dartmoor. I'm going walking, too. My nice friends take the dog then I go to meet them for coffee and a hobble. I will be mighty glad of my blue badge today cos the park will be rammed. There's good disabled parking, though. See previous boastful remarks about parking next to David Weir . Now he's both disabled and very cool.

Matilda, a non-sitting desk job. Hmmm
Idiots!

Fizzle, I can't imagine that there's been much research into the correlation between backs and breast feeding, has there? Dunno. I have a psychology background, too. More than anything, we phsychs think too much. I speak for myself, here. I assume responsibility for all sorts of things in my children's development and well being (social, emotional, behavioural, educational, physical...). I talk myself into the biggest load of guilt-induced crap. Make myself feel even worse! All I can say is that a happier mummy will be a happier baby. It's not the breast feeding / bottle feeding that would necessarily make more difference but the guilt-free aspect of your choice. This is the hard bit - especially when your 'situation' is making it harder to go with what you'd probably prefer to do. I'm rambling... again.

I'm glad you've found someone to help at home. I have too. She's a gdsend.
I'm lucky and honestly could not have coped without her. My children wouldn't have. She's the only reason I've been able to eat some days (esp at beginning when I couldn't get out of bed).

17, blue badge ... You don't have to use it when you have good days n months. But on those days you ARE in the shit, it's such a blessed relief. Really makes a difference. I felt funny (fraudulent) at first. But there are often times I think 'thank gd!'

Goodness knows - You are so right, it's the guilt that gets me. I just want to sit on the floor and play with my toddler, and cuddle my baby. The hormones don't help matters. I think I need to forget being a psychologist and just focus on being a mummy. Luckily the medication makes me confused so maybe I'll forget all my psychology training!!

Whilst I had a numb leg for 6 weeks, I don't have leg pain so I wonder if it is a disc problem? Anyone have a disc problem without leg pain?

Thanks everyone for your support xx

But getting a blue badge would mean admitting I'm the 'D' word

There are only a handful of people in RL that know I have MS, I much prefer them believing I have a generic bad back

Noooooo
I'm not D
I asked the BB lady on the phone of having one wold mean I'm D
She said "No, all it would mean is that you have a Blue Badge."

Honestly, it's such a help. Especially, for me, later in the day when I get v tired n achey etc.
remember, having it does NOT mean that you have to use it. But I hope that you do!
There aren't a lot of helpful things out there for people who struggle among with poorly backs. This one really helps as and when you need it. It's also hugely helpful when you go out as a family. Just makes those little trips less daunting. Bet, like me, you struggle a bit and the thought of parking and dragging yourself about to get in n out of building to car is exhausting / depressing in itself SOME days. This is for those days, honey.

Don't know about dusk pain as although I've chronic disk and bone erosion I think (don't know yet) mine is nerve pain cos of tumour.
Anyone else advise F on that?

But I know a whoooooole lot about mummy guilt. I could write a book. Soooo unproductive.

I look at my happy friends with their healthy n well adjusted kids and think WHY did I think that not breast feeding would affect mine negatively? Guilt avoidance / guilt-indices breast feeding. So much pressure to bf nowadays. Don't get me wrong. I'm a strong advocate for bf. I bf my own two. But now I see my friends' kids happy n healthy, I think there's too much pressure to force ourselves to do things that may not be in everyone's interests for other (emotional, physical) reasons.

Being a mummy is sadly all about guilt for me. Guilt at teaching when my children have their bath and dinner - but secret relief as hate that time of day, guilt at not being able to do the school run (not driving yet post op) but secret gratitude as loathe it and the pressure of running myself ragged. There A&e so any dichotomies.

Your newborn is ... new. Newborns don't think. Not like us. They accept and adapt. As long as you can accept and adapt your own expectations of yourself and KNOW that not skipping and hopping joyfully from room to room isn't going to affect your little one, it'll be fine. Skin contact is what they like. Lying side by side. Lovely. Relax. I know it's hard and I don't mean to be preachy as I've felt similarly of late as haven't been able to lift my DCs, take them anywhere etc. but they're ok and getting well while keeping yourself sane n as happy as can be (hard I know) is the most important thing.

fiz your back problem is a bit unusual, probably why you have stumped the physio! I think you may have to wait for the MRI to get the answer.

I do think having a healthy mum is more important than bfing, and I am a keen bfing supporter. I extended bf my dd until she was a toddler. But luckily my back was ok then. Breastfeeding is wonderful but to me formula was invented for situations where the mum can't breastfeed for some reason, and we are very lucky to have it when we do need it. So if you do need to stop bfing don't feel bad. Formula milk is very good and your baby can thrive on it. Having said that if you do feel that you want to continue bfing and it is ok with the meds you need then as others have said it is something you can do lying down! But try not to feel guilty or worried either way and just concentrate on getting better.

My dd has just learned to ride a bike! She has always struggled with it as she is scared of falling over but her little friend from up the road helped her. Thank God for a nice sunny weekend to play outside with friends .