The Back Story Continues

[Matildathecat]

This is the support thread for all sufferers of back pain. Everyone most welcome to join.

Here's our first thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1871592-The-Back-Story

My story long and grim but basically had failed surgery for disc prolapse, then further failed surgery to attempt to salvage the situation. I have nerve root damage and severe scarring around the nerve at L5 which won't get better. I'm 48, can't work, take a lot of drugs and have a blue badge. Currently battling several different agencies for ill health retirement and other benefits.

But I'm ok, having some fun despite the pain and have made some lovely friends on here.

Please post and include your story if you'd like to. No niggles too small, this is strictly non competitive!

Yay, was just coming on to see how you were this morning 17.

17 yay!
If I knew how to put links and party poppers on MN, you'd have some!

No yays just yet

I find out in the next 7 days but I really need it to be good news

What line of work do you do if that's not too nosy? I'm very nosy! All fingers crossed for you.

Hope everyone else is ok today.

Interview was for customer service account manager

I've worked in retail management for years but I was really struggling so when redundancy was offered just before Christmas I took it

Right decision as I've felt much better since but I need to be working

Yay was for getting to the interview, we have a very low yay threshold here. If you actually get the job we'll probably do ourselves an injury!

Hahaha

Muted celebrations from the sofa?

Bravo from the matilda sofa.

^YAY! for the interview 17 good luck for positive news over the next week.

I have a low pain day. I sort of think I should not even say it out loud! I have not taken tramadol this morning, and feeling it re this cold I have, feel very hot and flushed but back pain is reasonable. I can feel pain through my muscles and have to step carefully, but I am not shuffling, not walking like on glass, or about to crap myself (as I think it looks like sometimes!), not running or anything but not grimacing with pain. YAY! I have taken tramadol since Friday evening though, along with all other meds and no missing a dose of any, including paracetamol, so perhaps it's built up in my system. I have a strong desire to go to the gym now! But, as I am full of cold and this is my first day, I am going to just relish in being able to sort some washing out. Oh what a fun life I lead .

I had a lovely email from HR boss today. She said some lovely things about my positivity through the last couple of years, recognised that I have had it tough but impressed with how I have got on with things and not given up. She is someone whose opinions I respect greatly actually as she has always been honest with me, and me her, not always to good ends, and I know she is not being disingenuous. I often feel so low and my mobility at work, how obvious it is means I feel like I scowl, and moan to my bosses a lot, but, she is not the only one who has said I seem positive, so it's good to hear that I come across as someone who tries to keep going. She has seen me in work prior to surgery, almost unable to move but scared of missing another Sickness Meeting, reassured me I was not going to have further action and promptly sent me home telling me not to return until I was in less pain (5 weeks later!).

She has been ultimately responsible for decisions about my future and how my employer has proceeded with my continued absences, guiding my managers in how to act toward my absences, and clearly she fully recognises and understands how hard I try to be at work and don't take the piss. I think that's really important to be recognised, as people who have back conditions are so often seen as using it as an excuse to take time off work, so I hope that my own experiences, which have led to the experiences of managers working with people with back related disabilities, have carried a little weight in demonstrating just how bad and disabling it can be with back pain and that just because someone is at work, that does not mean they are not in pain, and so sometimes regular time off is inevitable.

Children are in after school activities today, so I have an hour or so to myself before school run and evening chaos!

maizie oh your hair sounds fab! We are all becoming quite the fashion statements here on this thread aren't we? what with goodness and matildas bags, our boots, new clothes and hair, nails...

Hats great pavlov and just goes to show how a little generosity of spirit can go a long way. Getting in whenever you humanly can has clearly been noted. However, no, do not go to the gym! Few gentle exercises or swim maybe? I feel as if the tramadol does build up though I'm not taking it every day. Have done this morning but now feeling like I need a top up of something. Not sure if codeine or more tramadol best .

I had a lovely swim and steam. Near emergency though, when I returned to my locker having dried my hair to find someone else had put in their stuff and padlocked the door of the locker which still contained my boots. Small panic but fortunately located the woman in the steam room.

Yay to cheering hair, bags and clothes. We might feel crap but we sure don't have to look it.

hiya , fx for you 17 hope you get it and well done on getting the interview done. I would imagine you have a lot of walking in a retail management post so it must have been a strain. I don't know what the future will bring but i cant really imagine ever going back in the kitchen- and I am re-training now anyways.
Paying for yesterday's high activity a bit. Made worse because my son woke in the night about 3 and was upset and awake until the morning. h looked after him so i could sleep but i hadnt got to bed myself until 3 as pain in my back was keeping me up.He went to bed at8am when i got up. having a hottie lie-down now to sort it a bit. So today's plans were a bit of a bust! Ds went to sleep at 8 as well on the sofa so he didnt go to nursery. He is still upset periodically, dont know what is bothering him- u have to be a detective when they dont talk yet. It may be an emotional thing but i wonder if he may have a toothache or ear-infection- just a mum-hunch. My poor dh really needs to have a decent night's sleep before i go in as he is gonna be on his own looking after them. I know he will cope but sleep deprivation is a bitch!

Had fun watching "Tangled" with dd while the boys were slumbering.
I really should go to pilates- i will try to get up early and go before uni as it is the last time i can for a while and i know it helps alot.

I bought a black and burgandy woolen-look skirt for a tenner in readiness for trousers being a bit difficult for a while. I know a few of you are keen on Fly boots. I am looking for some (no rush obvs) to wear with either trousers or dresses and they do lots of really nice ankle boots and shoes. I like the full boot ones too bt I have some black rocketdogs and some high heeled suede ones (charity shop £5, look new) so that is why the priority is for smaller ones. Amazon have a lot of good deals on lots of Fly products. The ones i like the most are about £60, black "Penn" with a bit crossing bover the front.
Hope evryone is having a good day

Oh dear I have a new pain in my shoulder blade area. My lower back is a bit more uncomfortable and can feel a bit of leg pain as well. I think it is getting back to work after the half term. Not sure what the shoulder blade thing is. It is not too bad but when I move it wrong it stabs. Had some pain killers and lying down.

Glad to hear a bit of good news from some people though and that you are all very stylish. Good luck with interview 17. Enjoy your child free time Pavlov.

oh and yay for getting a nice letter from HR lady Pavlov. It is great she appreciates your going in, even in pain, not everyone realises how hard it is. As you say a lot of people don't really believe in back pain.

It's so nice to hear positive stories about HR

I know I went into work when I shouldn't have as I was on sickness management which wasn't fun

17 this HR woman (she is the 'director', there are 3 of those in the organisation) worked hard to ensure I was never on any official sickness management plan. I fully acknowledge that I am bloody lucky that she supported that, as my sickness record for back problems was shocking and I know in private company I may well have been fired long before now. Normal sickness management procedures at least are considered following 10 days/3 absences (pro rata) although that's just the first stage and often nothing more happens, however, she and my old female manager allowed me to go to 43 days absence before they instigated first stage. That was following a previous 1st stage where I went in, and was promptly sent home with 'nfa' by HR due to being in so much pain I was in tears. (technically, I had been off sick so didn't need to go in as it could have been re-arranged, but already done once and I wanted them to see that I was not just avoiding it and prepared to deal with the next steps whatever they might be). 43 days absence! I guess the fact that my usual sickness record outside of back problems was/is excellent, must have made a difference (but don't count my pregnancy, as that was shocking too as I had hyperemesis!).

and I do like a bit of 'stoic', always goes down well with HR

live sorry you're suffering. Could it be referred pain from your back if that's worse? Have you got some heat on it as well? If not why not!?!

Pavlov I'm really glad you're having a better day and that the HR lady was so lovely, it sounds like it's nothing less than you deserve though.

Maizie your hair sounds fab, I'm sure it will make you feel that bit better after your op I really need to have a change with mine. I'm obviously letting you ladies down!

17 I've also got my fingers crossed for you and am glad you got to and through your interview.

Goodness and Pavlov I think you're right and they constantly shift the goal posts. I'm hoping I catch them on a good day and plan on writing everything down before i go.

On the physio point I've also had a mixed bag. The NHS one I had whilst pregnant with SPD was a specialist and couldn't have done more for me in complete contrast with the 2 I saw afterwards who were fairly awful and couldn't have been less interested. I've spent lots since privately but still find Pilates most helpful.

Hope everyone sleeps well.

Sorry live I meant to also say sorry your pain has increased. I wonder what the shoulder pain is all about - compensation for how you are walking? I don't know. I get some shoulder/arm pain, but it's usually coincidence I think, based on how I sleep, and possibly some displaced pain due to walking/holding myself weirdly. Keep an eye on it though. Can you take some anti-inflammatories?

Hmm, glad hr can be human. I hadn't had a single day off sick in five years prior to my back going. I simply couldn't work then. Hr instigated the sickness policy straight away and the meetings grew less and less cordial. Kept being sent to Occ Health for more pointless assessments.

Fired by the nhs whilst waiting for nhs surgery. all lead by hr. my colleagues and managers were horrified but had their hands tied.

Sorry, self pity fest now officially over except for whinging about my newly returned pain in the butt. Like a nail being hit into the nerve. Boo.

live could you be tensing up your upper back? I do all the time and have exercises to combat this. It's all joined up unfortunately.

matilda I think the reason is that her DH had spinal fusion when he was in his 20's, one of the youngest around that time to have had it done, so I expect she has gone home and spoken to him about what's happening to me. I have been quite fortunate that there have been the odd few people around me at times of significant pain who have experienced it or known people close to them who have, or had another condition that causes hidden but significant pain, and has given them insight and some compassion at times when i felt no-one understood. Which is unusual for HR woman as she is lovely but not known for her compassion, she is known for saving her employers money! (and absolute killer heels). I think the way and the speed that you were treated was shocking and appalling but suspect that is the more usual route than my own experience. I count my lucky stars regularly for my situation and am fully aware that public or private I need to find a way to pull my socks up as this 'understanding' won't last much longer.

and sorry your injections seem to have worn off and you have a return of pain boo.

The NHS can be terrible, Mum knew of someone on the MH team who was fired for being off with depression.

I have just been googling shoulder blade pain and an article said it is most often caused by a problem in the upper back or neck. I have had pain in my upper back recently, but this has gone off now it seems to have moved across. I think it must be that I am moving differently to compensate for lower back problem. Not sure if there is anything I can do about it.

Yes sorry matilda that your injections have worn off. How long did it last, will you be able to have another soon?

pavlov sounds like it is your medical team who need to pull their socks up, well I call them a team but I guess they are not actually working together to find a solution for your back problem. Maybe that trip to the US for surgery?

Overdid it today. No energy to read. Balancing on side in between several cushions - u know the score. But wish all your pain away and that you all sleep well - with no little people waking in the night!
Xx