**Tamoxigang heading towards hearts and valentines - thread 47**

[BetsyBoop]

roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
but cakes are better

Morning All, hope everyone had a lovely evening.

Thanks for the info about rads Hangbags and Malt. I think I will allow a few extra weeks onto the rads timeline just in case, I got my fingers burned in booking up things for after chemo. If I had kept to my original chemo schedule it would have been fine, but sods law my chemo schedule changed!

Glad you are starting to feel more human GoodBits.

Welcome Change, I am afraid that I can't offer much help as I haven't had surgery yet, but see Foo has already stop by to give good advice.

The past two chemo's haven't gone too well. I was hoping that last weeks was a one off, but it seems it isn't. They are managing to get the stuff into me, which is the end goal, but I keep having panic attacks as soon as they start. I think when the chemo first goes in, it causes me to flush and then my brain goes into overdrive and thinks I am going to have another allergic reaction, like I did to the Tax and I have a panic attack. Cue the chemo being turned off and me having oxygen. I feel such a wally, as I know that it is all in my brain. Well it obviously is in my brain, because once I have calmed down and they switch the chemo back on all is good.

Moring Wren, x-posts with you. How are you feeling? Hpefully this will be one of your good weekends and you will be able to enjoy the lovely spring weather.

Morning all
Tiny that sounds horrid don't feel daft at all. Do you take someone with you to chemo, would that help you to stay calmer ? Or try some deep breathing or relaxation techniques?

Hello to bigger buns and change from me too
I'm one of the long term members of the site, having been around for about three years now after diagnosis of rudely behaved breast cancer. I'm always handy for cheering news from the newer research and potions, so will keep an eye out for any biopsy/scan results etc and put up things that may be of use to chat to the team about.
Agree with the others that staying away from Google is important for anyone researching likely causes of things and likely end results. Might as well ask people at the bus stop, for all the useful answers we'd get. Nearly all the treatment plans for breast cancer have been changed in the last couple of years, so any older results are useless anyway. The tailored stuff now is very good.

Chemotherapy; most of us have indeed had it. And are still here to tell the tale. Not fun, but doable. Some of us are quite mad and worked through it all. Others were wiped out by it for a while. All depends on the individual person's response to the potions. Teams are good at offering tons of options to help each person.

Hello again, hope the weather where you all are is as lovely as it is in Cornwall today, and that anyone reading is feeling fit enough to appreciate it. Night out did me good and the Pinot Grigio helped me get a better night sleeps which I really needed. amber I have read some of your posts and they are not only informative but so positive! you are definitely my replacement for mr Google! My user name is a bit ironic as although I had 'that' part in Calendar Girls, I'm actually very small breasted and had to wear M & S up a cup size bras - which were fab, less easy to disguise just covered by Belgian buns but hoped that the audience were swept along by the story at that point.

Hi again everyone. Im sorry I came to the thread and buggered off again. I had my surgery on Monday so have been living in a world of morphine, Valium and denial since then. I got my pathology results today, which I posted on my own thread, but if it's ok I'll post it again here. I'm still taking it in:

He removed a 25mm Grade 3 Invasive Ductal tumour, surrounded by DCIS(?) in surrounding tissue, and 6/10 positive lymph nodes. Cancer is oestrogen responsive and HER2 positive. I think I almost understand that. Next step is chemotherapy, radiation therapy, herceptin for 12mths, and anti hormone drugs for 10 years. Which must be good, as they think I'll still be here to take them in 10 years.

Terriblemother that's not a bad set of results at all. On that basis, even with the older treatments you'd have had an 80% chance of a good long term future. With the newer ones, that'll be nearer 90%. The Herceptin and other wonderdrugs have meant that people with HER2+ cancer tend to have a better chance of survival than many other types, now. Hope that helps...

Terriblemother I was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer, and like you Grade 3 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, HER2 positive on my right side so also qualify for Herceptin. I have had my first chemo session with my second on Wednesday. I am told that Herceptin will be introduced on my fifth session.

foofoo Thanks,weight, height, mrsa swabs, blood test and medical history doesn't sound too scary. On the letter it says if over 50 I'd have to have an ECG so I shouldn't have to.

I'll be on the look out for some nice button pjs then, I don't like nighties, they always ride up on me I think I wriggle around too much!

I'll get a v-shaped pillow too, I did have one when I was pg but passed it to a friend after I'd finished with it.

wren Thanks, I'll add a towle to my list, that is just the sort of thing I'd forget and then wish I'd had.

I'll ask about the driving at my pre-op assessment appointment, they should be able to advise a little I guess. I'm getting set up with Tesco online shopping so we won't starve whilst we're without the car!

Thanks for the advice and good thought going to those of you that need them XXxx

difficultpickle I can't remember if we've 'met' as I don't post so much anymore, I joined last year when I was having treatment for bowel cancer. Because of the surgery I had, I've been having bum issues for about a year and a half so have tried most of the options for dealing with it. Is it internal pain or the outside skin that's bothering you? Don't worry if you don't want to say but if you do, I am happy to suggest some things that may help. Also, don't be afraid to ask for more pain relief, I've had tramadol and morphine for it at various times. There's lots of nerves there so it's more sensitive than other areas. My skin has finally toughened up a bit but I remember the pain of not being able to sit down and the horrific burning after going to the loo, even when using wet wipes and creams and all sorts, not fun at all and you have my sympathies!

Waving to everyone else xx

tiny, your chemo sounds extra specially stressful right now; your poor old brain sounds like it's in overdrive. I'm glad that you can get to the point of it actually going ahead, though.

I seem to be more tired on my second round of chemo, so a bit wobbly despite enjoying the sunshine. It's my 50th on Monday. It's proved tricky to know how to mark it, given how things are, but the children really need a celebration. With the timings of my chemo, my nephew's chemo and a sister's travel plans, I couldn't find a good date for a proper big family lunch so my sister and niece came today, my nephew's coming on Monday, my mum and a further sister will come next Saturday. But suddenly this morning, instead of sticking with my public narrative of this meaning lots of celebrations, I suddenly felt tired and tearful and as though it was just lots of work to fit other people's schedules without actually quite hitting my own birthday need. Waaah.

Hello wren what would be your ideal birthday 'need'? I think if there is one time in your life when loved ones would want to make sure that your needs are catered for it is now. Hope you find the time and energy to mark the day in a way that means something to you and sending you very many happy returns for Monday from across this here internet.

Terrible glad the op is over and that now you have your results you have a plan. Stick with us and we will help you through it all

Wren I think special birthdays like that should be spread out over the year, is there anywhere you would really like to go or something you'd like to do ? You could plan it now and do it later in the year when you're feeling better

Thanks, biggerbuns and malt. I find it hard to clearly know what I want in the midst of so much treatment, but what I think I will aim for is a bigger family event post treatment, and perhaps scatter friends through the year. There's a danger both in making it all too big a thing (setting the stakes too high, with the chance of disappointment) and too small a thing (falsely saying that it's unimportant). Ah well. Sunny today and I will make my children come with me to look at crocuses. That is definitely about me and not about them!

Wren - I can imagine it is hard to strike the right balance, especially as this is a milestone birthday. It is also difficult to come up with ideas in the fog of chemo, when all you can focus on is getting through the blasted treatment. I have no doubt that the right way to celebrate will come to you in the end. Would you feel up to doing something on your actual birthday? I had my birthday last month, (not a big one, like you), and I was quite teary on the actual day and it was nice to do something which cheered me up.

Terrible - Glad that the operation went smoothly for you. Great post from Amber, listen to her, she is the wise owl of the Gang!

Looks like another lovely day - I am off to the park, to enjoy the sunshine!

Hi achangeiscoming just to say I'm going in for bmx in six days time. feel free to message me after the event with any questions. am about to stock up on front opening pjs and wedge pillows!

wren I'm sure you had a quite different 50th birthday planned. I would ave a slightly bigger event later on, but one where you don't have to do anything.
tiny I had a birthday last month and don't enjoy it at all. People called in which was nice but I seemed to spend the whole day serving people although I was reall tired.

Had nasty invasive thoughts when I was laying in bed last night, so I took 2 Tramadol and slept like a baby.

I had my birthday just after my 2nd chemo on August my hair hadji at started to come out and it was a bit rubbish. Children's birthdays are also hard I find

Feeling miserable this weekend, made worse by everyone on FB going on about how happy they are in the sunshine

Why are you misearable Malt? Is it not sunny where you are?
It's you last rads on Monday isn't it? Maybe you're getting that strange end of treatment feeling - i really struggled when my treatment ended - probably the most depressed I've been.
So ((hugs)) - remember it's all nearly over now. Have you heard anything back from your head yet?

Yes it's sunny just doesn't really make me feel any better whereas all my friends are happy, looking forward to summer etc
I'll be ok I think it is the end of treatment thing, feel a bit like I've hit the wall. Plus my boo is red raw underneath from the rads and not getting any better will see then nurse again tomorrow
Sorry to be miserable especially to the newbies, should be being a bit more positive and uplifting !

And no I haven't heard from my head which makes me feel really wanted !

Sorry you're not having a great day malt. If it helps it's cloudy and drizzly here!
Have booked two weeks in Mallorca in June after speaking with onc. Should be 6/7 weeks after mx. We go with my parents, so lots of help with the DCs.

Sorry you're having such a tough weekend, malt. End of treatment seems a long way away for me but I know from friends that it can leave you feeling very bleak. Just when everyone expects you to celebrate.

Amber may or may not be a wise owl, but is definitely not a doctor, so always always listen to, and talk with, own teams rather than relying on what I say. I read research papers and have access to the calculation tools but I'm no more 'official' thank asking people at the corner shop

Putting out for all. Especially those feeling

Amber we all appreciate you greatly you always know what to say

Wee that sounds lovely I love Majorca, dhs parents used to have an apartment there so we went a lot. We were gutted when they sold it ! Did you get travel insurance ok ?

I'm feeling a little better after a little cry, going out for a meal in a bit so that will be nice