**Tamoxigang heading towards hearts and valentines - thread 47**

[BetsyBoop]

roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
but cakes are better

I'm 42 but hadn't had a period for years as I had the mirena coil ( had to come out when I was dx, was gutted and so was dh as he was sent for the snip !) I had 1 at the start of chemo but no more

Mildmay good luck for your op, I went down for mine at 3pm and was home by 9, recovery was fine

Only 7 rads left now. I have to have planning tomorrow for the last week as they are boost sessions, think that means they are targeted to where the lump was rather than doing the whole area, correct me if I'm wrong please !

Yes Malt that's exactly what the boost is - at least that's what I've been told. I have 8 boosts, looks like I've got a bonus one, woohoo lucky me!

I have hideous toothache at the mo. Wasn't allowed dental treatment on a problem tooth whilst having chemo, and it developed into an abscess last week so have been on antibiotics since then to bring the swelling & infection down. Am due to have it removed tomorrow thank goodness as I am totally done with the pain and not being able to chew properly. Cannot wait to be able to eat something crunchy again. Sorry, just needed to rant, yet another body part I get to loose .

Oh handbags toothache is awful and is very dominating. Glad you're getting it sorted.

Glad you're enjoying work, kitkat. I can't work out what to do about mine. Thinking of chucking it in, but not sure I'm best placed for major life decisions right now. I really like the people and it's interesting work, but oh the stress and the deadlines! Not sure I can face those.

Hair shedding enthusiastically.

Thanks for all the understanding words of support.

So I have decided to go ahead with my LAST Chemo tomorrow! Have already been told that it could be another rough few weeks with side effects, BUT at least I will know that I have given myself the best chance of beating this! If it means a few more weeks of feeling super crap, then so be it. At least the end is in sight! Although hoping it won't involve any hospital stays this time!

wine I am with you on the periods! My once perfect 28day cycle is now 21days with light bleeding for 2weeks each time! So basically I get 1 week off! I am soooooooooo bored of it!

malt I can't believe how quickly your radiotherapy seems to of been! But it might just be that I have been away with the fairies for the last few weeks! How has your skin held up? I stupidly googled pics of skin during Radiotherapy! Obviously only people with really bad reactions ever put pics up on there I gave myself a good telling off for looking!

Hi to everyone else xxxxxxx

good luck really, hope last means LAST, and I hope the side effects are bearable.

can I ask a stupid question about bras?

Why does everyone keep suggesting sports bras directly after mastectomy?

I was thinking - soft crop top for a couple of days and in bed - then a soft bra with support for a few weeks - then get sorted for a mx bra with little pockets. Not much choice in my size, as it happens. But where do the sports bras come in? or are they for reconstructions?

hello Really - am glad you're OK and hanging in there. Good luck tomorrow - and as you say this will be the last time.

Traviata - not sure why the sports bras (I had the exact same instructions) - partly as they are soft I think and in my case due to TE, and then reconstruction, for the support I believe. I'm still wearing mine to bed (BCN nurse said it helps to keep everything in place) but got some fab new underwire bras for the day .

Wren - yes am loving being back at work but am exhausted by a Thursday so have to force myself to go steady. You're right about it not being a good time to make big decision so do be careful.

In the last month I have decided to leave my husband and to move house (am doing neither as it happens!!) and I think it is all a reaction - like PTSD maybe. And in my case also frustration with still not feeling well, the whole diabetes saga and the complete lack of support and guidance from my GPs. I want this chapter to end but I'm scared that I am going to be left with a long list of permanent issues.

Good luck at the dentist tomorrow handbags - no way the same as you but I was mightily relieved to be allowed a check up and scale and polish - felt like a new person afterwards.

well done Malt - you're rattling through those rads - I think it must be nearly time for you to plan that Easter holiday .

Handbags hope you can get the tooth sorted out sounds painful

Wren I agree not to make too many decisions yet

Really don't worry about rads, after chemo it's a breeze. Biggest pain is getting to hospital every day and my appointments are all different times! My skin is fine so far a bit pink under my boob but I can't feel it. Good luck tomorrow can't believe it's your last one hope it goes smoothly

Kitkat not surprised you are tired. Still looking at holidays but haven't booked anything yet !

Thanks malt that's reassuring to hear. Must admit the thought of 5 weeks travelling too and fro the hospital everyday, doesn't fill me with delight! Especially as I was hoping to fit it around work!

I'm already feeling apprehensive about today's Chemo! Questioning whether I really need to go through with it! I feel reassured that both docs seem to think I will be okay! But after all the drama over the last few weeks, and the fact I still feel rubbish. I'm scared that this might turn out to be the toughest one yet I hope I am wrong!

The one BIG PLUS is I finally get rid of the PICC line that is one thing I can't wait for! In fact it's the one thing that is going to get me to the hospital today, if it wasn't for that I think I would just stay hiding in bed!

Sorry for being so pathetic again! I know I should be happy as it's the last one, but sadly I'm still scared about going back there!

I'm not surprised you're scared really I hope they look after you today. And just keep thinking it's the last one ! You won't have to do it again which is great news ! You've done so well to keep working through it too

Mildmay good luck for your op today hope they don't keep you waiting around too long and it all goes smoothly

Best wishes really - you've almost finished, you can do this!

Good luck at the dentist handbags!

Happy Friday to all!

Good luck today Really - you have done fantastically well to keep going with the chemo. Take it easy on yourself over the next couple of weeks, and like Malt said, don't worry about the rads.

Good luck to you also Mildmay, hope it goes fantastically well for you today.

Fun day planned here, rads then dentist. Dd1 off sick, not sure what's wrong with her, just general moping around feeling sorry for herself and saying her tummy hurts. Has miraculously brightened up since I said she could have the day off. I must be going soft, I never let my children have sick days off school.

Good luck today really, you have done brilliantly. Good luck at the dentist too.
Had long chat with DS1 last night - he's been complaining about feeling sick at school. Turns out he wants to come home because he's worried about me. Feel so bad for him, no one should have to cope with this at 6 .

I'm another who is not sure what to do about returning to work. We can manage fine without me working. I have enjoyed being off work. I do have an interesting job and work with some great people, several who have been great to me during this cancer journey. But I'm not sure I want the stress and juggling again.

I'm planning to hold off on my decision until post rads. But I really want to take the entire summer off.

handbags good luck at dentist. My DDs have had a share of tummy aches since I started chemo. I'm thinking they are a bit anxious at times.

really best of luck, and good riddance to your PICC line!

Tooth gone. Am a bit sad about it really, but pleased I can close my mouth properly again.

Yes maybe I should have more sympathy for dd1, I'm very good at forgetting that they are having a shit time too, it's not just about me.

I can't wait to get back to work but then I love my job and it's part time and as I'm a teacher it fits in with the school holidays. Plus my youngest will be at secondary school next year and I'm bored at home. I don't think mine are worried about me being ill at all but then maybe I've made a mistake in not telling them how serious it is, I don't know.

Glad you got the tooth sorted handbags

Meant to have a scan today to plan my rads boost next week but they've changed it to Monday who knows why !

Any plans for the weekend ? I'm going to the theatre tomorrow night :)

Last Chemo completed and PICC line is gone

Now to rest and hopefully avoid a repeat of the dramas of the last few weeks!

well done Really. I'm pleased they took your PICC line out for you - with all your dramas I'd have thought they would have been even more likely to make you keep it for a few more weeks!

Thanks kitkat think they would of been more likely to leave it in, IF they had lots of staff trained to use it! That's the joke of it, when I have needed bloods taken, or antibiotics they have used a cannula, because a nurse who was trained to use a PICC line was never around! Complete joke really!!

So, life's surreal.
Seems like it can continue without me. Felt sick and was comfortingly bitter sweet to see that the children's favourite desert had been made and that the Friday night candles had still been lit.

Friends are experiencing troubling times, too. Suddenly, our selfish carefree, stressful lives now seem oh so much more complicated.

Got the CT (chest) results back. Consultant/surgeon called. Cancer-free. Just some things that may well be scar tissue from previous chest infections. But a repeat will be taken in 3 months to see whether they're growing. GROWING?
Scar tissue can grow?
Why is it that questions always pop into my mind AFTER I've put the phone down, having said something inane like "Oh, that's great."

I waited a week for that call (having called to speak to him no less than four times).
All good.
I think?

Life's more complicated nowadays. I get the feeling that it may now always be the case. No different for me than for anyone else. It's just that I'm always waiting now. Things happened to other people, before. Small percentage risks don't reassure me any longer. I've been that 0.01%

Please excise depressing ramble. I wish it would all just be "Absolutely fine. Clear. Great."

Well done really fingers crossed for few side effects

Goodness, I have just spent an evening with lovely friends telling me I look "so well"! They mean well but they don't understand.

We are through the Looking glass now. Nothing will ever be the same.

So true trice
You were up late hope it was a good night !

Great to hear you've got through it Really, I do admire you for keeping going. Now rest up, and let the SEs slowly dissipate and you'll start to feel much better.

Goodness and Trice too true, very much through the looking glass now. I get a lot of 'oh you look so well' too (as if people are expecting you to stop making an effort with your appearance just because you've been ill / going through chemo etc). I actually take a lot of pride in my appearance, and the only days i don't bother are those when I genuinely feel rotten.

Off to gym this morning for my usual body pump class. I am loving getting back into my old fitness routine, just dislike having to wear a sweaty bandana on my head when doing so. Wish I was brave enough to just say stuff it, and go baldy! I have serious gym-bunny pony-tail envy at the moment!

Lovely and sunny here which makes me . Have a great day everyone x

Great that you're still gymming handbags. Still in bed here, was up all night being sick, probably not chemo related. Sod's law I had nice stuff planned for today.