**Tamoxigang heading towards hearts and valentines - thread 47**

[BetsyBoop]

roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
but cakes are better

Blood transfusion arrived at 1.40pm and will take about 4 hours. This afternoon is the big ward round where all the consultants and other doctors go round in a pack. I will mention how disorganised the process is. If I'd had the transfusion this morning I could have had lunch and a drink. At the moment I can't sit up. If I don't drink enough my blood pressure drops. Not good but in a way a good day for it to happen as my consultant will see it 'in action' as it were.

Hope you start to feel better soon pickle I do wonder why some people go into nursing when they seem to dislike people so much, hopefully battle axe won't be there tonight!

Saw Consultant and he says I may not have needed a blood transfusion today so that's the reason no blood was ordered. Rubbish as the protocol is blood transfusion once haemoglobin drops below 80, which could be predicted yesterday.

Apparently my giddiness is unrelated to the anaemia and is cause for concern. I'm infuriated as if I'd had my blood transfusion this morning that would have eliminated a possible cause of the giddiness. Instead I am still plodding through the first unit. I won't be finished before 7pm.

I just hoping that yesterday and today will be my worst days. Not sure I'm up for more days of feeling so crap.

Sorry for my moany posts

Blimey, pickle, you aren't moany and even if you were, you're entitled to say what you're feeling with complete freedom here. No good everyone keeping a stiff upper lip - doesn't help anybody.

Pickle don't apologise at all, you're going through a crappy time and I wish there was more we could do to help. Grrr at horrible nurse, there's no excuse for behaving like that hope you don't have to see her much. The late blood transfusion is a real pain too, wish they could get their act together for you.
Have you got something to watch or read to help you get through the day ?

pickle sorry you are having such an awful time of it let's hope things improve.

Day 2 after FEC and feel pretty normal but a little worried after speaking to BCN who was unsure why I hadn't been given any anti-sickness meds for the weekend as a backup. I do hope I survive without them!

Sorry, more moans. 2nd blood unit finished nearly an hour ago but they've only just come in to check. I'm waiting to now have a platelets unit (but still hooked up to second blood unit so I can't get ready for bed. I still have to have an anti sickness infusion that should take 30 mins but it's often set to take an hour, then saline, then chemo, then saline flush and then a litre saline bag for 10-12 hours.

Clinical nurse said I need to be very very careful because if I fall I'm at high risk of a brain haemorrhage because my platelet count is so low. Hopefully the platelet transfusion will change that.

Mummy wheel I had some sickness meds I had to take for a couple of days and a back up bid to take if I felt sick, that box is still unopened. I would think you'll be ok if you haven't felt sick yet. Always makes me sad when people talk about BCNs think I'm the only one without one !

Pickle :( x

Pickle, good gd - what a marathon of shit. Are you having all that tonight?

Morning all. I feel a bit better and brighter today. Hooked up to a saline bag so by the time that's finished I'll have been hooked up to something for 27 hours (7 hours blood/platelet transfusion; 1 hr anti sickness; 18 hr saline; 1 hr anti sickness). Last chemo this morning.

I'm hoping they will give me a break from the saline drip so I can get up and showered, as it won't finish before 6pm at the earliest. I'm hoping this morning's blood tests show an improvement too.

Pickle. Fingers crossed for a good blood test result and a less smelly you .
(Meant as joke). Makes u feel more 'normal' again to have a good shower, doesn't it. Bed washes are overrated.

Pickle glad you're feeling a bit better this morning, fingers crossed you get your shower
I'm looking forward to 2 days off rads :)

Malt I don't have a BCN either!
Saw Onc yesterday and he is pleased with my progress on Capecitabine. But he warned I would feel more SEs (I have been feeling very well) and that I shouldn't go on holiday abroad at present (so it will be the Lakes not Andalusia next). I can understand this as someone I know was hospitalised on her last chemo with a high temperature despite having no problems until then.

pickle, glad that things are a bit better this morning. It is a marathon, all this stuff you are going through and it's fantastic that you're on your last chemo. Good luck with the blood tests, and I can so believe that a shower is what you feel like right now.

Managed to have a shower, get dressed and get my bed linen changed. I'm ok so long as I don't look down or turn my head quickly. I imagine its like having an inner ear infection which affects your balance. My temp is normal so it's all a bit of a mystery. I have a mahoosive bruise on my side from my fall.

Despite all my trials and tribulations I weigh the same today as when I was admitted 11 days ago. Although I'm not eating much I'm not doing much either so I'll settle for that!

Glad you've managed a shower pickle, makes you feel more human.

Lily you and me with no bcn then ! Glad you're doing ok and a holiday in the lakes will be lovely

Pickle could it just be a side effect from the chemo combined with being stuck in bed for so long, that's bound to make you feel a bit odd. Glad you got your shower

I feel sorry for those with BC and no BCN. they just seem to pull it all together.

I have just woken up. Got up at eight thirty to pack youngest son off to football (another parent was taking him for me) then went back to bed: lovely!

Still got 2 drains :-( my surgeon is very fussy that they get below a certain level before being removed. Hopefully it won't be much longer.

Not much planned today, might be brave and go to M&S later for a couple of new tops but I feel a bit vulnerable in busy places.

pickle how much longer should you be in hospital for?

foofoo, I know what you mean about feeling venerable in busy places. Even today's plan of taking the kids to the Lego movie makes me feel a bit uneasy, as I think I've drawn in my boundaries, and my comfort zone has shrunk accordingly.

I have a BCN, but unfortunately the hospital should have two so, despite her excellence, she is too busy for the sort of support needed and I've rather given up on her.

Not venerable, vulnerable!

I make sure I get up and dressed every day and sit in the chair. Yesterday was my first day in bed. Today I'm sitting on my bed as I don't yet feel well enough to sit in my chair. Today's blood test results are very odd. My haemoglobin yesterday was 77 (115 to 165 is normal for women). After a blood transfusion of two units yesterday it is 72 today. They think my fall and resulting bruise may be the reason. Means I have to have two more units today and because it's so low they will make sure they do both today even if it goes on into this evening.

I'm a bit worried if there is no improvement by tomorrow. Blood transfusions seem to be the only option to help my blood counts recover so I'm not sure what happens if they don't work.

Poo :(
That is low.
Laying down is frustrating. I've been there, too.
It'll pass n it'll be worth it.
Try to look at the day as it is vs as a means to.. (Future success / impact on bloods). Although, tbh, sometimes having a goal helps to motivate doing things we don't like. I remember trying to sit up n eventually walk because I was dreading a poo (eventually) coming while I was still unable to get to the loo.

I'm glad they're paying close attention to you now pickle, but that sounds like a long day. It's hard endurance work dealing with those endless transfusions. I really hope they do their job and make you feel better.

Foofoo, I feel a bit thick. You still have drains in so no wonder you feel vulnerable in busy places! I have no drains (any more; did have plenty) so I am just a wuss.