Yesterday, I found out that ... and I'm scared.

[GoodnessKnows]

I will be brief as I feel like I've entered a time warp where my brain has frozen, incapable of long sentences:
Had hip pain and have been waking at 3am most nights with back pain (not terrible) for about 1-2 years.
Thought I needed a firmer mattress.
Finally went to consultant.
Two MRIs and an X-ray later, I was ushered into a private room having just been told that a large tumor is at the base of my spine.
They called me back in within one working day of the second MRI.
I'm now waiting for a biopsy which will be on Wednesday or Saturday of next week - to determine its 'nature'.
Scared
Shocked
There was talk of chronic bone erosion in the lower back as a result of this thing. Also discussion of nerve paths and tumors, rare cases and cups of tea.
Now, lying awake as usual in mild discomfort, I'm in utter shock and disbelief.

Lol re Tesco, Turnips. Good thing about the bug T is that they're rally good about refunding if they deliver crap dates (2 days left in date, etc.).

Lougle, thank you. How are you now? I hope that you managed to forget the worries on your wedding day. Can't imagine the cloud that hung over you (all) on the first day of the rest of your lives! How long have you been married now?

Turnips - reassuring as always. Very comforting as am sure I come across as self-obsessed nutter. Hey ho, hopefully better at concealing racing thighs n anxiety in RL thanks to my MN 'deposits' and the wonderfully reassuring feedback I've had.
Once this tumour thing's been dealt with, I'll need recommendations for a 'fat finger/ typo/ memory consultant' as I appear not to be able to type any comments without addressing the wrong person or without forgetting the other people's lovely messages when focussing on one of the others. How do you all remember who said what when responding to X, Y, Z. Huge apologies to all lovely ladies who I've seemingly ignored. I haven't. I've gone blank when typing about one thing.

There have been lots of threads on here recently about people who have had problems with them delivering presents etc. I had a problem with a present from Tesco photo and they refunded me and a goodwill gesture of 4 times what I originally paid!
Did you manage to get some sleep last night?
You should be able to download TV shows etc from iTunes to your iPad I think?

Case in point: lounge, the message for you was meant to read: thank you. You're right about team. Feels odd to know otters are discussing results I'd like to know before I know myself - and I'm dying to. But yes, I've heard that the Sarcoma Centre is brilliant. Would rather be going to The Grove though (in my dreams)! In a way, this whole thing is bound to make me help me to slow down and smell the coffee. Life is galloping along and I'd appreciate it more if I took the time to stop and look around.

OMG. Another case in point. Lougle - not Lounge. And no otters will be discussing my case unless the surgery will be taking place at Toad Hall (Wind and The Willows). There you go- always in such a rush!

We had a fantastic wedding. Slightly surreal. Been married about 5 years now. Had a 'probably malignant' biopsy for breast cancer before the wedding, surgical biopsy the week after our honeymoon which came back benign eventually. It was a strange, bittersweet time.

I am glad you are keeping posting. The nice thing about MN is you can splurge all your worries out whilst knowing you are not "burdening" any one in the way you might worry you are when you talk to your parents or your DH about your anxieties (not to say you shouldn't talk to them too, of course!). It is completely normal to be scared before a big op. It would be weird if it were not dominating your waking and sleeping thoughts. BUT it really is true that the waiting is the worst: when you wake up from the op, the enormous chances are the tumour will be gone and you will start on the road to recovery which will be much more positive.

YY to spoiling your DC rotten this Christmas and grabbing life for these 2 weeks of feeling normal and healthy. Life is precious. xxxx

Gosh - what a terrible scare to have ... and it just, sadly, have tainted everything - including your memories ;( but I'm sure that both you and your DH value each other and life even more so, now.

Wise words. It is. DH being grumpy as is doing My Job this afternoon. I need a rest in bed.

Hope you banish the nasty thoughts and enjoy the day ........wishing you a positive thought Christmas x

Thank you Rosa. It's gonna be a good one ;) are you looking forward to it? Many coming over?

Happy christmas for tomorrow. Love and positive vibes from all the Turnips.

Aaaaaaah. I'm imagining the turnips. Hope you don't get too hot a roasting this year. Lol
Going to try to enjoy isab to the max. About to spoil my DCs rotten. I'd better be here next year to keep it up!
Xxx

Wishing you a happy Christmas Goodness. I hope you can enjoy your day. Xxx

Have a wonderful time with your family x

Have a wonderful time with your family x

Happy Christmas! Seize the day. Love your children just as hard as you can.

PS Of course you will be here next year (you fule ;-) - meant kindly)

Lolling, Prof. Mad thoughts come n go. Gotta confess n laugh them off.
This made me laugh: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1946721-To-think-DH-and-I-are-like-a-sexy-hot-couple-from-a-Hollywood-film?
Can relate!

Min, Reviving and Prof., have a woooonderful Christmas. I'm loving it!

Have a fabulous day.x

You too, Matilda!

Late to this thread but just want to wish you a lo0vely Christmas day & sending you lots of positive thoughts for a good outcome in the new year.

Thank you, Madi. Thank you ;). Hope you've had a great day too!

Magi - not Madi. Think I'm Queen of The Typo. Lol