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*TAMOXIGANG* 43 *

993 replies

MaryAnnSingleton · 01/10/2013 08:24

New thread !!

OP posts:
trice · 11/10/2013 23:06

I need to plan a night out with Dh. Tricky as he doesn't like restaurant food, or theatre or music. We used to go out walking or climbing or running. I can't do any of that any more. I am no fun at all.

I hate it that he has become my carer. It is bloody hard on a relationship. I have become a chore.

On the plus side, my friend bought me chocolate and my db took me out for lunch where I had rarebit and field mushrooms. Delicious. I shall not fit into the many new clothes I bought from the yumi sale this morning after reading the christmas barging thread.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 11/10/2013 23:39

Thanks amber I'll pick up some ginger supplements tomorrow.
Thanks all for the support.

BetsyBoop · 12/10/2013 00:09

Just a quick catch up as spent most of te evening snoozing on the sofa and now come to bed for proper sleep hopefully.

KK hope you managed a reasonable day for you DHs birthday. I remember how tricky " significant" days can be when you aren't getting on too well from my time with exDH (the ex s the clue! When I volunteered for extra weekend overtime on my birthday to avoid spending time with him it kinda told me it was over!)

smee and pigeons thanks for your input into my bmx lists, will read them again tomorrow when I might be mre compis mentis!

to everyone, sleep tight :)

BetsyBoop · 12/10/2013 00:11

Oh and ruby, hope you got your take away and enjoyed it with no I'll effects!?

BetsyBoop · 12/10/2013 06:11

No night owls. I hope that's a good sign? I managed to sleep til 05:45 :)

amberlight · 12/10/2013 06:56

trice, if it's him who doesn't like the other stuff, it's him that's not fun. Art event? Craft fair? Train journey to a lovely view somewhere? Hugs.

malteserzz · 12/10/2013 07:13

Morning all
Trice I agree with amber how can he not like those things ? Would he go to the pub or even out for coffee ?

I dread leaving my dh we were looking forward to getting old together, getting more freedom as the kids got older, holidays etc it's so unfair. I told him yesterday he ll be quite a catch

I'm out tonight am both looking forward to it and dreading it hope the wind dies down a bit

amberlight · 12/10/2013 08:48

I can understand people not liking those things if they have a sensory processing condition (as I do) but even I find restaurants or events that I can cope with, where possible, so I don't spoil the enjoyment of others.

Malt, you are not going anywhere . Stop that thinking right now, young lady! Brew Hope tonight goes OK for you.
Betsy, hurrah re sleep!

foofooyeah · 12/10/2013 09:13

FULL NIGHTS SLEEP! Whoop whoop.

Woke up with lots of funny memories and sings that my late sister and me used to love. It's making me smile.

malt enough if that talk. But how lovely that you love your DH like that.

malteserzz · 12/10/2013 09:27

I'm ok just feeling sorry for myself
Yay to full nights sleep foo foo what's your secret ?

trice · 12/10/2013 09:59

You are on the right track Amber, Dh feels uncomfortable in crowds, supermarkets or brightly lit shops are a trial, anywhere noisy sends him into a spin. I knew all this when we got married, I wouldn't change him for the world. I have decided to send the kids for a sleepover and have a movie night with popcorn.

Mas, I avoid other ill people. I am trying to pretend that iam not sick. My good friend Caro died after the cancer got into her brain. Going to her funeral and seeing her dcs and Dh so devastated was unbelievably hard. Now I run away from poorly people. I am trying hard to believe Amber when she says I could last ten years. I want to see how dd does in her gcses.

MaryAnnSingleton · 12/10/2013 10:02

I can't catch up still - forgive me but am sending love to you all - so tired mainly. Andmalt am certain things'll be fine and dandy and you and dh can get old and crabby together Grin

OP posts:
MaryAnnSingleton · 12/10/2013 10:05

trice bit tricky to avoid ill people at the mo ! - i suppose that seeing 2 of my mets. group dealing with complications of this disease has suddenly brought it all home,along with mum,and generally being totally out of my routine which I find very disconcerting. Am going to try to see bcn for pep talk as she's back this week.

OP posts:
GoodbyeRubyTuesday · 12/10/2013 10:43

trice movie night sounds lovely. I always prefer a movie night at home to cinema as you can snuggle up on sofa and munch snacks noisily and pause when you need the loo :) maybe you could have a takeaway too if you fancy it

malt that's what bothers me about dying, the idea of leaving those I love, and the pain it would cause them :( and just not being with them anymore. But neither of us has been told that we are going anywhere! :) like amber and shooting say, many people have more chance of being killed by buses or falling pianos! So just make sure to look both ways before crossing the road and keep an eye on the sky Grin

I think there are probably a lot more older ladies who have had breast cancer. It wasn't talked about so much then. I'm always surprised and reassured by the number of people who tell me they know someone who had bowel cancer and is now fine 30 years later. I know anecdotes aren't data but still nice to hear :)

foofoo yay for a full night's sleep! Grin and how lovely to wake up to those memories :)

MAS no wonder you're tired, I hope you get a chance to relax a bit in between everything, are you feeling less down than yesterday? Hope so :)

betsy good you got a bit more sleep :) I'm sure it'll continue to improve now. I slept from 2.30 ish to 8.55 without waking Grin which is amazing for me. I have had two full night's sleep since surgery last November, I remember them both very fondly! Grin

amber hope you're having a relaxing weekend? :)

I am going to have Indian takeaway tonight Grin it was too late yesterday really. I have lots of dissertation work to do so it'll be a lovely treat.

Waving to everyone, have a good Saturday x

Shootingatpigeons · 12/10/2013 12:22

Trice when my friend was got by this bastard disease her lovely DH commented that it was the little things and the everyday he missed, just the banter as they sat and watched crap TV, the jokes, the companionship and sharing the love and joy of their DCs. As I have told gigs don't ever feel that you are a burden because I am sure every moment is being valued by your DH. Movie night sounds great Smile I have met people who have managed 18 years never mind 10. I knew what I was taking on when DH fell asleep in Serious Money at Royal Court (era marking 80s play) and answered Macbeth to the trivial pursuits question "in which Shakespeare play did Puck appear? "Grin

lilymaid you made me laugh! did I mention that at every garden centre we had to park in the outer reaches of the car park because he won't attempt to park in a space less than 5cars wide, so we have the trek into town as well. I know he is adjusting to a big change so have to be patient but ruby is right he needs a hobby and I have more interests than time (and have tried to interest him in mine ) so it is frustrating when I have so much I want to do.

malt are you planning a trip to a double decker demolition derby or piano throwing competition? It would be a bit silly after going through all this treatment to help make absolutely sure you don't die of BC ......

gigs How are you this morning, when do you go off to Tesco, Pareee.

ruby enjoy your ruby murray Grin

GoodbyeRubyTuesday · 12/10/2013 13:07

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor Grin

As you can tell, I am having a productive day Hmm

amberlight · 12/10/2013 13:36

Trice, aye; they're discovering that sensory overload is often a form of epilepsy...with someone with a formal diagnosis of epilepsy it's really noticeable that they either collapse or go into a trance-like state. What the brain scientists hadn't noticed was that for autistic spectrum people or sensory processing disorder people, the sensory overload short-circuits the social/communication circuit and causes a brain-seizure of a different kind. Thus people of any kind with sensory processing difficulties will find their brains electrocute themselves and hurt like heck. It often looks like a tantrum, but isn't.

foofooyeah · 12/10/2013 15:46

amber are you medically trained or just very very clever ?

amberlight · 12/10/2013 16:54

Neither Grin
Just have a brain that retains technical information, and happen to have read everything scientific that's been published on autism for the last 25 years and on cancer etc for the last three. Useful people, us autistics, sometimes. But I'm definitely not a doctor so my thoughts should always be tested out with the team.

malteserzz · 12/10/2013 18:49

I am all ready to go out,hopefully will have a good night. The place where we are going you have a meal then they clear up and you dance on the tables. Normally I would be the 1st up there but not really in a dancing mood plus would be worried about my wig falling off ! Luckily for me ( though not for her !)my good friend has babysitting problems and is just staying for the meal so I'm going home with her
Hope everyone has a good evening :)

GoodbyeRubyTuesday · 12/10/2013 18:59

malt hope the meal is fun, good you've got someone to leave early with. You'll soon be back to dancing on tables, I'm sure :)

amber you are definitely useful but also lovely and valued for more than just your vast cancer knowledge :)

Just ordered my takeaway Grin so will do some washing up and then start my film.

Hope everyone has a good evening x

GoodbyeRubyTuesday · 12/10/2013 19:00

Sorry amber reading that again it sounds rather naff so I hope you know what I meant Blush

amberlight · 12/10/2013 19:02
Smile
handbagsatdawn · 12/10/2013 19:06

Malt have a great night out, hope the wig remains in situ!

I've had a total meltdown today. Was copied into a letter my consultant sent to my GP and it contains a diagnosis she didn't discuss with me earlier this week. I have done the stupid thing of googling it and its not good. i have gone from being super positive to rock bottom. I might go quiet for a while.

reallyreallyworried · 12/10/2013 19:30

handbags I had the same thing happen this week. I was shocked to see my diagnosis in black and White. But the ladies on here reassured me that it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

I think doctors/surgeons should either not send us a copy, or make sure they have mentioned all the details to us before they send it.

Discuss your worries with your BCN or the experts on here! NOT GOOGLE!!!!!!!

Sending you a huge hug xxxxxxxxx