Tamoxigang - 41 and counting

[KurriKurri]

Morning all, new thread, croissants on trolley, and I'll put a brew on.

Aww topsy thank you :) I would still be a gibbering mess if I hadn't come across you lot I'm sure !

Trice weight gain sounds good, you're getting stronger. I have heard of those fringe things I do still have hair that shows under a hat at the moment though

Betsy I'm worried about the tax too, glad you're doing it 1 st and can tell me about it ! I had twice daily steroids on fec and took them about 7am and 12. Are you having the injections ? Someone mentioned those but I'm not sure what they're for

Trice - too much cake is easily done. I was thinking of making bread tomorrow (after GBBO) but then realised it would result in a lot of bread eating which is not good as I am less active than usual.

malt on FEC I had a neulasta (sp?) injection the day after chemo - it's supposed to help your WBC count come back to normal quicker (doesn't stop the drop) - not sure if I'll get that on tax too. DH volunteered to inject me at home - if no volunteer I think they can send the district nurse!

Betsy I'm sure your Tax will be fine - it sounds like there is less nausea but more aches which must be good news for those of us prone to nausea. And once you've done the that one you really will be on the count down.

I suspect I will be back on the chemo and will get Tax next time (just my own speculation) so if that's the case you and Malt can advise me. And I'll have upto date info on the mx Op for you (not for Malt of course!!).

Evening ladies - had a lovely long weekend and now down to earth with a bump.

Biopsy has confirmed that my cancer is much larger than they originally thought so at the 'big' meeting this morning they recommended I have chemo before surgery. Bit upset as I just want it out! But had a long chat with a very knowledgeable oncologist today and I THINK thats the way I will go. Still got the option of mx on Monday - but that will mean delaying chemo until thats healed and if I do chemo first I can then have the double mx and reconstruction surgery that I want (there isnt enough time avail in surgery double mx on Monday as originally just booked in for WLE).

This cancer malarky is a real goddamn rolercoaster isnt it - and this journey is going to be much longer than I anticipated

PS~; hats with fringes reminds me of thos awful plaid tam o shanter things with ginger hair attached :-)

foofootyeah that's exactly how I was imagining the hats! :) sorry you've had a change of plan, and I understand about wanting it out, but I think the thing to remember is that you will be getting treatment so it won't be the same as it is before treatment, where it's growing there without anything to stop it if you see what I mean? I'm sure someone more helpful who had chemo before surgery will be along in the morning! :) also good if you can get the surgery you want -otherwise would they do the other one later or not at all? The fewer surgeries you can get away with the better :) although I'm always thrilled when my surgeon decides to do another "examination under anaesthetic" as it's the best sleep I get since this damn surgery

kitkat it's no wonder you feel thrown. The op itself is a big thing to get your head round so quickly, even if you were expecting it later on. I had about a week between diagnosis and my first surgery. I don't know if you would be anxious about the op but if so the small comfort is that the sooner it happens, the less chance you have to build it up in your mind into something really really scary. Have you got all the things you need for afterwards? :) I recommend a puzzle book if you enjoy them as a good way to pass time in pre op and then if you can't sleep on noisy ward!

Betsy I wasn't offered an injection, why am I not surprised with my lot ! Bloods were ok last time though

Foo foo it's normal to be in shock when planned have changed you have your head around 1 course of action then they change the goalposts, Kitkat is going through a similar thing. I don't know about you but chemo is the thing I was terrified of so good to get that bit over with ( the reality hadn't been half as bad as I feared )

Last day of the school holidays for my 2 so need to do a few last minute bits then take ds to a football match later. Need to make sure I've got things to do when they're at school so I don't sit in all day

agree with ruby there foofoo - the chemo will be sorting out the nastiness so it'll be shrinking as you go on
kitkat it must be very unsettling to have such a change of plan - no wonder you feel uneasy.
Swimming today, bit of work..those are my plans

Morning All

FooFoo I know how you feel , I'm feeling the same way about my rogue node . "Just get the bastard out of me !"
But I have to put faith in my oncology team . They haven't steered me wrong so far !

DD has a friend arriving any minute (her mum has to go to work , TA at the girls school) , so DD and I are up at this un godly hour

DD goes back to school tomorrow , so it's good practice I suppose .
DS doesn't go back till Monday , so he's still snoring in his pit

Excuse me for a while , whilst I stagger off in search of

Thanks ruby - I'm not bothered about the op itself - like you I treat it like a rest!!! but am annoyed that 3 months and 3 lots of chemo later we seem to be back to square 1. I'm not even sure if the chemo has been relevant and no-one can tell me the impact of stopping in the middle.
My latest worry is that I said no to the node clearance - this was based on the surgeon telling me there was no evidence of any benefit (in my case) but it was up to me!!!

Hi foo - it seems I am going through the same as you but in reverse!!! - but just as unsettling. It seems my cancer may be smaller than originally thought (may be mainly DCIS) so my chemo has been abandoned and I'm have MX on Friday instead. We just have to trust the team but I did like having the concept of having the chemo first - you will be able to monitor how well it is working.

There can be an advantage to having chemo first; it lets the team examine how the lump responds. Then they can tailor the treatment far more exactly afterwards. So it can improve the odds, for some sorts of lumps. For other sorts it won't matter much because the chemo won't be the main defence.

Staggers in with eyes propped open as up half night with mini. Need before blue badge assessment.

Hand holding for foofoo and kitkat . I don't blame you for any change in plan unsettling you. it's so important to feel know where you are in plan , it throws you when they change it. It took a while for me to trust my team again after they found an issue with my neck which had missed previously as not scanned area.

Fingers crossed now that assessment ok and not to upsetting.

Good luck gig - what time is your assessment?

Just woken up on sofa - disturbed night so may need to borrow Gigs eye props. You can tell how out of it I am - just gave my 20 year old bazooka instead of bonjela for his cold sore - poor bugger was nearly in tears. Feel terrible - have told him in future never trust me and to read the instructions.

kitkat - yes does sound like you in reverse - it is very unsettling.
Having slept on it I think I will do the chemo. Not scared of it but hope I am one of the ones who gets away with milder symptoms. I do feel my BCN is really on my side - she made sure I saw a v v good oncologist yesterday who has been at the 'big' meeting that day.

Got to call my manager shortly and work out plan for work. I am very lucky and get full pay for six months but this treatment is going to take longer. I don't have the kind of job you can do part time so need to figure something out.

foofoo I'm having chemo first and once I'd got my head round it I actually prefer it. It is very reassuring to see/feel the lump shrinking and it gives you confidence that it's also dealing with any stray bits floating round in your body. (and if not the onc can try something else) If you have it after you just have to trust it's working.

gigs good luck with your assessment later.

Lazy day here (I need a rest after galavanting of last few days!) as carpet fitters are here doing DSs new room.

foo - is there nothing you can do part-time. I also get full pay for 6 months and like you realised that this was going to take longer than that. I have chosen to keep working and do about 50% hrs but all from home - my work were really good and allowed me to chose what to do. My original role could not be done part time but I'm doing some 'internal' work that I really enjoy so maybe there is a way you can work something out. The summer holidays have been fine but when the kids were still at school I really needed something to do during the day.

Eek for ds betsey.

Assessment done-lady was lovely and took few minutes to say yes. Am so pleased as this will make difference on bad days on me being able to get out or not. She also suggested that apply for mobility allowance to customise car.

wow gig - that was fast work and really good news for you.

Wow Gigs, all before 9.30! I've only just got dressed! Great news about your badge, as you say it will make a huge difference to you on your not so good days. Definitely pursue motability allowance too.

Bloody steroids interferred with my sleep again last night, I was awake from 3-5.30 . However, no nausea overnight this time....marvellous. Hoping to catch up up with some z'ds before the minis are returned from grandmas today.

That is brilliant gigs, thought you had a bad night as I saw you on FB at 3am !

I've also just got dressed ! We've been so lazy this holiday need to get in a routine tomorrow, luckily mine take themselves off to school so if I don't feel like it I can put off getting dressed till they've left.

Trying my wig cap today it is literally like the foot has been cut off a pair of 15 denier is that what other people's are like ?

HI Malt - that is exactly what mine is like - but it does work well.

Thanks Kitkat, it's made a ridge on my forehead so I've moved it up a bit. Am getting a dab hand at getting my wig on now !
Are you all sorted for things to take into hospital ?

that's great news gigs :)