FFS
I have had increased pain for a couple of days. Today, it was worse than it has been since surgery (discectomy) two weeks ago today. But I expected some increase as it all heals and not huge sciatica; of course it's going to hurt a bit, had bone and disc removed, muscle cut into, nerves and ligaments shifted out of the way.
But, today, I felt flu-like this afternoon, like I have before my back 'goes'. I had often wondered if it was due to gunk seeping from my disc and causing inflammation and sort of 'toxic' so making me feel ill. I didn't really think much of it today though, although DH checked my incision to make sure that's ok - it's fine, what he can see through the million steri-strips. He then said 'do you feel unwell like your back is going to go?' and I thought about it, and yes, that's how I feel. However, still put it down to a bug.
Then, about 1 hour after than convo, I do my log roll onto my bed, stop it a little early and sit up too soon - bamm! it's gone. Searing pain through my back, like something has rubbed against each other, shooting pain right into my right foot, a little into my left. I had the left side of the disc removed, but not the right as the surgeon didn't want to destabilise my spine by removing bone on both sides (have an unstable vertebrae).
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I don't know why this has happened. It may be that the vertebrae has shifted a bit - the surgery was never going to fix that - but the leg pain, that worries me. 1) what if it has just gone on the other side?
I am meant to be going away on friday to stay in a Yurt! It 'went' a few weeks ago, right before going away to a Yurt then too! We are going with friends, they are looking after me with DH, they have it all planned to help me convalesce, my friend is a district nurse, she is going to check my incision, remove steri strips, replace if necessary (DH is squeamish), they are going to help me have a good time while doing nothing at all. We are being ultra organised so we don't have to do lots (they even, I won't be doing much). But there is a difference between me taking it easy and not pulling my weight, and being an absolute fucking burden, someone who needs complete care. I might not be able to go!
But, more than that, what if I have done too much, too soon and have just fucked my back up, again, two weeks after surgery?