38th tamoxifen - waiting for summer in the bus shelter

[Gigondas]

New thread.

Hi All
I've tried to come on this thread a few times as it was recommended by someone in chat. You are all amazing ladies and I wish you all well.

I'm on here because my lovely SIL has recently been diagnosed with aggressive Breast Cancer. I want to try and understand as much as I can and try and be as much support as possible.

She's 38, diagnosed 6 weeks ago. Has had a mastectomy and began chemo last week which will be followed by radiotherapy. She is understandably very down and mentally not in a good place. We are taking turns to be with her in the day as she doesn't want to be alone.

I just want to help but don't have any words if comfort for her.

Do you mind if I hang around here?

Hi - putting my mark on the new thread.
Weekend spending spree consisted of confirming finance details about a new car I'm buying, then heading off into town to buy an iPhone5!
DH arrived home on Sunday morning, so I told him the news and we went on a walk in the afternoon. He takes things in fairly slowly (being a man) but has cancelled his business 400 miles away on Friday so he can come to the hospital with me.
Back to work today - haven't said anything to anyone there apart from the boss. Getting on with sorting stuff out ... in case I might be away some time and some poor temp has to work out what on earth I've been doing!

Hugs for betsy -that's awful.

Amber- I hope tomorrow goes smoothly but your trips are never plain sailing.

Of course you can hang around. It takes a while to process the shock of diagnosis so no wonder your poor sil is down. You and your family sound lovely. Have you spoken to Macmillan at all as they also have support and advice for families?

Mm chips malt. In bed with my kindle (and hoping smee is resting up). Could be drugs but feel less aches. I know exactly what hnd means about horrid nurses after last week.

Cross posts for lily- good you have told dh and he can support yip. iPhones also good for distraction when waiting .

Survived the 33, and being under the Heathrow flight path, so live to play another day!!

Turned out to be pork. In Chinese sauce with noodles and
Pak choi. Yummy!

makingdoo what a shock for your SIL and your family. Yes, of course you are most welcome here, and your SIL too, if she feels she wants to. We can answer any questions you or she have - chances are, we've seen it all or been through it all, between us. You sound lovely, wanting to help and support her. Hang out here and ask anything however daft it sounds.

lily I love my iPhone 5 - it is fab!

betsy so sorry to hear about your colleague. Be gentle to yourself and give yourself time to come to terms with it all. It's doubly hard on top of everything else. Thinking of you x x

Hope everyone is having a nice evening - we're watching the white queen. Bit worthy and historical for my liking, although Max irons is quite easy on the eye. . .

Welcome making do I am sorry your SIL is facing this diagnosis and treatment. There is no formula for how you react or should react to the dx and treatment of Cancer. Being very down is entirely understandable and normal. And I am sure just having your support and your ear is a comfort.

I was watching daytime TV today (something I usually avoid as it is just wall to wall timeteam digging up different shades of mud and getting excited over it) . There was a breast cancer charity advert on going on about self examination and how a thousand women die every week who could be saved if they had only checked their breasts. I thought self examination had been proved to be unhelpful by proper science and that they had stopped recommending it? Anyway it did my head in. I thought I was safe with Sir Baldrick and his muddy friends! My cancer is not my fault, no amount of self examining would have made an ounce of differenc
.
Lily - I am glad you have your Dh to support you. Good luck.

Makingdo - tell your sil she is not alone. You and she can come on here and find info and hand holding. (We only plan our funerals once a week. The rest of the time we are quite chirpy and supportive.)

Betsy - how dreadful for you. So shocking when these things happen. Especially now.

Emin - I hope things go smoothly tomorrow. I will be thinking about you.

Mas - can you distract yourself with anything? I would tell you a joke but my memory is stuffed!

A thousand women a week hope it's not our week this week
Just watched long lost family I'm not sure it was a good idea really
Can we go back to talking about cake now ?

Lily good to hear from you I hoped we hadn't scared you off!
Welcome to making do , she's lucky to have a lovely sil just let her talk really and if she's up to it take her out for little outings for coffee or to the shops to keep her busy. Time to think is horrible. Sometimes I do like to be on my own too though so follow her lead and ask her
Ned dinner sounds yummy and much more nutritious than my chips !
Gigs less aches sounds good and happy kindling
Amber I always enjoy reading your posts and normally end up smiling at the end so thank you
Night all sweet dreams no night postings hopefully xx

malt sorry, you asked earlier if I was ok,and I am, just being a bt weird
Lovely to hear from you again-lily and you are most welcome makingdo. V sorry to hear about your SIL - I remember the shock of my SIL's diagnosis ( before my own) and feeling desperate to help but also very scared for her - I knew a lots less in those days.
V sorry too betsy about colleague- awful shock. When I was at primary school someone's mother was killed in a road accident and we all had to go to the funeral( ours was a Catholic school and we went to Mass at school anyway each week) I remember that being quite alarming and frightening.

Good morning everyone I slept for around 5 hours I feel much better for it so CHEMO lets be having you!!!

yeah...go get it emin !

Sounds good EMIN !! Go for it today - thinking of you x x

Yay Emin ! Hope it all goes smoothly will be thinking about you x

I hope it goes well for you EMIN and you are one of the lucky buggers who sail through

Good luck for today EMIN
Make sure you take your anti sickness meds , even if you feel ok !

Lots of luck to emin - first one is worst as you don't know how you will react .

Trice was in Lorraine you watched yesterday ? Nearly turned over today but it was a positive story about a lady who has just finished treatment and looked very well so glad I didn't they seem to be having a bc week

Sorry pressed send to soon- so will be holding your hand as it will be ok and a lot easier after have done this. just ask if have questions and as topsy says take all the meds on offer even if feel ok.

Just checked cancer research website It can't be 1000/ week in the uk alone. About 250/ week in uk in 2010 but mortaliity statistics don't take into account how long someone has lived with cancer. I saw one of the macmillan adds yesterday. I don't like those either...
Waves to everyone. late to work will put a on when I get there...

+ve vibes for emin today.

Yay, Earth. That's the spirit. Hope they're all lovely and you're home safe soon. The others are right, it gets easier after the first.

MAS, I don't think your thoughts are freakish at all. I think they're very you. Which is meant in the best possible way. How's today feeling? Any less confusing??

Gig, love the way you moved from death to dinner. I haven't seen Lincoln either - was it good? How's the pump/ wound going? And how's the lego? Is it less painful now??

Betsy, how sad about your work colleague. Hope today's better. Hope Onc appt is okay later. I had FEC and Tax, so ask anything you want. Might help to remind you that I'm still here 3 years on and only slightly mad

Waving to makingdoo, though sorry to hear about your SIL. Is she stage 3, so it's treatable and that means it's deemed curable too? Even if she's stage 4, well so are lots on here and they've got no intention of going anywhere. Cancer in the end is sodding boring, and mostly we all live on. Once she gets her head round that, she'll need things to look forward to get through it all. Try and get her out for a walk or something each day. That does no end of good. Try and find the laughs too. We are good at that on here, but we get the dips too. So very tough.

Glad to see you back, Lily. Stick around. This place really does help, as does retail therapy.

Waving to all. Better get on. Got a work deadline. Am open to distraction though. Amber, I shall keep an eye on the news, for tales of mayhemin Westminster.

am going to dust a bit,then send some work off,collecting S later then will start on my new book !
smee am ok really- that's nice of you to say that am not being freakish - am really hoping I'll get onc rather than junior onc on Friday as he doesn't confuse me -lovely though she is.
T has 2 exams left ! one this afternoon and final one on Thursday. Am trying to persuade him to go to his music theory lesson tomorrow (he'll fuss as he would have to put uniform on for half an hour's lesson- is not compulsory but am not sure when he might be doing his theory exam)
Shall I get some M&S treats ?

Hi girls, I know I've been missing in action for a while - no excuses, I've just been out and about and confess I've found it pretty difficult to keep up with all the goings on!

Betsy - I too had neoadjuvant chemo, followed by mx with full anc plus a prophylactic mx with immediate DIEP recon. My team were very supportive of my decision, and if there is anything I can help you with, pease ask.

kitkat I'm not sure of your situation as I can't find the previous thread... But I gather you are asking about rads and are worried about them spoiling a recon. Generally autologus recons stand up better to rads than implants, but all can be spoilt - but they can be corrected. Luckily I didn't need rads, but I was prepared for them as my team didn't know if i'd need them until they had the pathology reports back after the op - three or more nodes involved would have meant rads.

I'm more active of fb - probably why I run out of time to catch up on here and I'd be happy to be friends with you girls over there...