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38th tamoxifen - waiting for summer in the bus shelter

987 replies

Gigondas · 15/06/2013 12:01

New thread.

OP posts:
malteserzz · 25/06/2013 00:06

Trice I'm glad you're feeling a bit better physically at least

My appointments have all ran late so far it's horrible waiting

Trying a night without a sleeping pill not going well so far, who needs sleep anyway !
Night all hope your all snoozing already

jchocchip · 25/06/2013 00:35

I need sleep. Surprised I managed to drive back from Birmingham without hitting anything...
Delivered something on way back. Texted friend. Realised left thing outside wrong house, retrieved, set off dog barking. Walked down road with no shoes on to correct house. Added to honking horn by accident at other end of road as got thing and address out of boot, rather a catalogue of errors.
Will catch up tomorrow later today. Thanks for all your support.

malteserzz · 25/06/2013 01:55

Glad you are home in one piece hope you're asleep now

malteserzz · 25/06/2013 03:43

Not been to sleep yet and now the birds are starting to sing!

jchocchip · 25/06/2013 07:00

That's midsummer for you! Hope you did manage a couple of hours. After sleeping from after 2 to before 5 on Sunday night, I'm pleased to report that I managed to sleep for nearly 6 hours today :)
I'll put a brew on. What is everyone doing today? I have the dentist, mundane and routine. I am scared of logging in to work email because of what I will find will set me off again.

MaryAnnSingleton · 25/06/2013 07:55

am glad you slept jchoc -you must be exhausted x
I'm trying to finish a small pic today -struggled much of yesterday with it- nothing looked right to me- horrible - am generally feeling a bit anxty about things and I daresay the scan looming and T's prom on same day is getting to me(am sure prom will be lovely -it's more the after party in some field in the countryside that irks me- T is very unworldly and not at all practical) Anyway, def. not feeling tiptop.
Am trying to get T to decide on which song he's singing in his recital - it's between Who is Sylvia and Fly me to the Moon...

Gigondas · 25/06/2013 08:41

You put kettle on jchoc and i will do emails if you like.

Mas- I can't do anything while waiting on scan. It's Friday isn't it? it's just horrid to wait. I vote fly me to the moon btw.

Early night seems way forward - didn't sleep all evening but feel lot better for it so will just do this as long as I need during rads . Btw malt etc rads made me way more tired than chemo.

Back ok ATM but it does seem to get worse as day goes on or if do more. Going to see dr pain again I think depending on what onc says as he mentioned steroid injection. I am at the point now where will do most things as when it's bad I can't even make a Brew which is serious.

Malt- have you got a box set to watch? If you can't sleep my suggestion is to get up and either watch that or reAd some junk.

My other suggestion is Jilly cooper (or georgette heyer which I know trice loves and am rereading). Am happy to do a mini reading group on junk. I reread lace on chemo too . Marian keyes (except last chance saloon) or jojo moyes are good.

Ok- better get up soon to wash. Pump still on as tho wound healing nicely it is still big so looks like another few weeks (realise this is nothing to hnd).

OP posts:
malteserzz · 25/06/2013 08:55

Jchoc 6 hours is great
Mas understand about the scan completely, hope you manage to finish your drawing today
Gigs I should have got up last night and I should hide my phone so I don't go on the net at night. Read a thread in chat in the early hours about a lady whose friend was dx with BC and given 6 weeks to live then she died so definitely couldn't sleep after that. I have downtown abbey box set to watch and thanks for the book suggestions
2 things I'm dreading- getting the letter through the post with my results on as always seems worse written down and going to see the onc and them giving me worse news than my surgeon did, he's a nice man he might have been trying to put a positive slant on things.
Anyway I'm going to try and get some sleep and hope that it's just tiredness making me down today

Gigondas · 25/06/2013 09:10

Malt- dont just not read letter, don't even open it . I don't now as it is too ShockSad even tho its only repeAt of what told.

You know you shouldn't read them but you do-try to overcome the picking at scars thing as it doesn't help (took me ages tho and still catch myself out).

Better get up!!

OP posts:
Lilymaid · 25/06/2013 09:14

So far today - logged into work e-mails (seen CV of someone who may be standing in for me during the summer ... ). Done some internet banking, sorting out all the forms for private treatment ... although it may be a bit more comfortable and you have a bit more choice over dates/timings, you still have to jump through the hoops of dealing with the insurer.
Sunny here for first time for a week or two, so washing is on the line.
DH being very helpful and is thinking of a little trip out we might do at the weekend - probably nothing more than a walk around a NT garden but will be more pleasant than feeling sorry for myself at home.

MaryAnnSingleton · 25/06/2013 09:36

gig -so sorry that the pain is so debilitating Sad
I can recommend Elizabeth Taylor novels (not the actress) -very brilliantly written and there are quite a few. Or the Cazalets - Elizabeth Jane Howard.
I'm going to try to get a grip on the day and get stuff done- ocd stuff intereeres too,so doubly pesky.

GoodbyeRubyTuesday · 25/06/2013 09:37

malt get DH or friend to read letters or you if you think they should be read but they won't tell you anything that they haven't told you in person as they know not everyone reads the letters, and it's not as reliable a way to tell people things. I used to open mine to check they weren't appointment letters but if it had Dr W's details at top it went straight in a folder for future reference! :) I've read them all now but I have developed a scientific curiosity about it all, and I feel more detached now than I did at the time!

I do sort of feel maybe I should get the wig in case, am writing this from my bed surrounded my bits of hair that fell out in the night Hmm should probably tidy that up!! But it would feel like a waste if I didn't use it and I might look a bit silly in the wig shop with still quite a lot of hair Blush

gigs I hope Dr Lovely sorts you out as not being able to make Brew is grim! :( good you got a better rest last night. Shame about the pump.

MAS scan and prom after party on one day, no wonder you're a bit on edge. He'll be fine though I'm sure, if you're lucky it'll be quite cold and wet and they might pack it in earlier Grin

jchoc glad you got more sleep last night, things sound very hectic at the moment! I hope you ave a more relaxing day today :)

Betsy if you need to explain about the cancer to your children someone on the course last week recommended a book called Mummy has a lump or something along those lines. Sorry if that's completely inappropriate just they had similar aged children at the time they were diagnosed. Your new hairstyle sounds lovely, and it'll be less of a shock/less messy if/when it falls out :)

trice yay, one more dose! :) I have two more but I have never finished the whole cycle before are you taking anything for the nausea? If it's not working do mention it to the onc as there's so many things they can give you. I take domperidone four times a day every day whether I have nausea or not, and I keep taking it in between cycles, then if I feel any nausea I take cyclizine which usually sorts it out but if not prochlorperazine which is the under the lip ones. I also have ondansetron as a last resort but I've never had to take that for nausea at home. And you don't have to stay positive here, we have all had the negative thoughts I'm sure so do vent here if you need to :)

I hope everyone is having a good start to the day, it's beautiful and sunny here today, I shall be frolicking in the garden I think :)

GoodbyeRubyTuesday · 25/06/2013 09:38

lily cross-posted, sounds like you've been very productive and a NT day out sounds very nice. I always find it's quite hard to feel too anxious or upset when out in nature :)

BetsyBoop · 25/06/2013 09:39

Crappy 3G at hospital so short update - liver scan all clear, huge relief no signs of spread anywhere. Just waiting on heart scan now.

Hugs to all who need them will catch up with thread when I get home.

amberlight · 25/06/2013 09:39

Gigs, yes, anything that works for the pain is going to be handy. What did they say about Cyberknife stuff, out of interest? Or did I already know what they'd said about Cyberknife?

Gigondas · 25/06/2013 09:48

Didn't ask amber but may be if use if gets more delicate (nearer nerves) am on something pretty high tech as it is as tajes a minute ( I counted ) to do each spot. In some ways if it is cancer causing Back its more straight forward as its being treated.

Yay for no spread betsy Grin.

OP posts:
Gigondas · 25/06/2013 09:51

It's called true beam amber which I think is as close to cyber knife as it gets on normal radio.

OP posts:
GoodbyeRubyTuesday · 25/06/2013 09:56

Betsy fabulous news! Grin good luck for heart scan x

MaryAnnSingleton · 25/06/2013 11:01

brilliant news betsy hooray !!

Well done trice too Smile
Yesterday's drawing all ok now, client v happy- phew ! sometimes these things happen and I get all hyper critical,or try too hard. Am going to dust and clean a bit,then get some lunch for me and the boy.Afternoon trip to town to post office I think.

malteserzz · 25/06/2013 11:26

Thanks for all the kind words I've been to sleep must get up soon
Betsy great news about your scans must be great to have that reassurance

snailsontour · 25/06/2013 11:44

Yay for Betsy's liver!

Copthallresident · 25/06/2013 13:09

Since I watched The Returned last night I won't mention that organ and tempt fate...... But it's all good news Betsy

(Returned is great, I don't normally go for that sort of thing but it is done with French accents, shags, shrugs and Gauloise, and actually very clever and emotional, and more Twins peaksie than the usual Zombie/ vampire stuff around these days. I'm hooked. Also the place the teens meet is called the "Pub" pronounced Purb Grin and it creases me up when there is a long stretch of incomprehensible , to me, French and then they say Purb....)

MAS don't worry about T at the post prom party, the otherworldly ones tend to have already realised the binge drinking thing is not cool and not for them, and by 16 they can stand up for themselves and not be so easily influenced. Little Copt and her friends are really not interested and even with Big Copt who was more of an Inbetweener we only had a couple of incidents of people being falling over drunk. I actually let them post 16 meet and have some drink, not spirits, in the garden as I would rather it was under my nose than in the park or bus shelter or wherever . I expect the field is under someone's nose? I would just make sure he realises that the drink of choice for the cool gang these days is often Vodka, decanted into Coke or water bottles, the bus shelter has changed...... The problems often seem to occurr when they don't realise that a little can make you very drunk. Actually Little Copts group seem happy with Pear Cider which has a very low % proof and you would probably explode with flatulence before you could get drunk .

Great that your illustration turned out well, when it's a struggle it is all the more rewarding.

gigs Glad an early night worked. It sounds as though resigning yourself to lots of rest is the way to go.

malt Consultants never put a positive slant on it, they have if anything to throw it all at you. He may have been nice but he will have most definitely not given you false hope. And you have been picking the scab again You really will be back at work with the children by the start of next year. My Dyslexia can be a strength in many ways and one of them is that I can skim read a Consultant's letter, because I can't concentrate on so much dense gobbledygook, and only the odd word goes in, usually the word and. It is very handy.

ruby I am frolicking in the garden too, and in honour of collours conversation I am wearing green, which is appropriate, except that I garden in girls old hoodies, so they are Roxy Animal and especially gratifyingly A and F , as I'm sure that that CEO really would hate his hoodies being worn by fat old ladies shovelling manure, so they are ahem, blue......

MaryAnnSingleton · 25/06/2013 13:48

thanks copt that's reassuring...am not looking forward to staying awake half the night though...

smee · 25/06/2013 13:55

Oh my, way behind as ever, but HIP-HIP for Betsy's liver. Smile Smile

Thanks for Vit D3 info Amber and Snails. Will go buy some as ran out ages ago and am really noticing the difference.

Gig, hope you get less pain/ answers soon. Must be v.unsettling not knowing what's causing it.

I think 'Fly Me to the Moon', MAS. Love that song. Scan and prom on the same day not idea is it. Hmm

Got stacks to do, so waving to all. Trice, hope you feel less sick soon. Kitkat, you didn't say how you're feeling. Hope not too bad. Been at DS's sports day this morning. He managed a bronze for the javelin, so relieved he won something! He and his mate pre-arranged to tie in last place in the 100m. They did a bit of a dance to the line and got a huge round of applause. Grin

GoodbyeRubyTuesday · 25/06/2013 14:00

I'm on the swing bench knitting. I've done a spot of gardening, just thinning out my radishes and spring onions, and now listening to all the bees buzzing around while I knit :)

Felt a bit icky earlier and temperature started going up but thankfully has come back down again, I'll do almost anything to keep it below 38° and avoid the dreaded hospital cupboard! Grin

malt agree with copt, doctors will always err on side of caution.

MAS I second copt, warn him about vodka if he hasn't had any before. It's much easier to make yourself ill from vodka as it doesn't taste of much. Apart from that try not to worry :)

copt have you seen the A&F CEO? It's hard to imagine a less attractive man Grin

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