38th tamoxifen - waiting for summer in the bus shelter

[Gigondas]

New thread.

Hi hellymelly, what a situation for your friend. Yikes, not the sort of tests and worry she was hoping for, for sure! Yes, the tests often do take a whole week, because of the amount of time it takes to prepare the samples and get the right specialists to have a look. The waiting is often the absolute worst bit. Nearly everyone finds they calm down once they get an answer either way.
If it helps, 9 out of 10 people find that their lumps aren't cancer.
So that only leaves 1 in 10 people with lumps which need cancer treatment.
If you take ten people with breast cancer, 9 out of 10 of those will go on to live to a ripe old age, these days. The treatment isn't fun, but it's that good.
One person out of 100 had a really rudely behaved sort that needs long term treatment. Even then, most just live for years and years but on occasional chemotherapy etc. It's becoming a bit like managing diabetes, etc - a long term nuisance mostly, rather than a killer.
Not everyone is lucky, no. I've had a friend die, so I'm aware of what can happen. But the odds really are good for most people.
Support her by taking her mind off things as much as possible - trip out, silly DVDs, and by just listening and being calm and being there. Maybe get her to come on here and we can cheer her up and do some hand holding too? We've all been there and know what it's like.

kitkat - I'm getting the T bit as my tumour is multifocal so they want to bring the biggest guns out to blast it.

Reading between the lines I think they are also concerned about the possibility of spread (given size & multifocal) and even if the scans all come back clear (please God, fingers crossed) they often can't detect any teeny tiny bits of stuff going on so they can get blasted too. .

As yours is well behaved I guess they don't think you need it, which is a good thing. :)

amberlight thanks so much for that. I am really heartened to hear that there is a decent chance the lumps are something benign. And the stats even if it is cancerous are great to read too. I know three women who have had breast cancer, 20 years ago (in her 20s) 5 years ago and two years ago. All are in good health now, so that is reassuring me too. Your post has made me feel a lot less scared.

betsyboop, as far as I know the radiologist didn't say anything, but I am waiting to talk to her today, we just had texts yesterday and she went home to bed after the news. Possibly she has been given some idea, I don't know. Would be good if she found out on Friday, rather than it being next week, I hope they can rush it through.

Helly the vast majority of lumps turn out to be harmless, even when they are not cysts, breast tissue can get lumpy in response to hormones. Even those lumps that are malignant are often relatively innocuous and easily treated. Lots of us on here had relatively nasty ones and we will tell you that though the treatment isn't nice it is doable, and we are evidence it almost always works.

Sadly some women do get nasty lumps when pregnant and breastfeeding, it happened to one of my friends and at the time 50% of all Breast Cancer found in women under 50 was associated with pregnancy and breastfeeding so it is good your friend has now had a biopsy done, sadly too often women get told it is mastitis and sent away.

The waiting for results is awful, even if it is bad news then somehow knowing exactly what you are up against is better than uncertainty. I don't think a week is unusual as the biopsy has to be sent to a lab and examined and tested carefully. I really appreciated the little things in the early days, practical help with looking after the children,
casseroles and cakes, just having someone there showing they cared, someone to talk to. It is important to let people react in their own way, there is no normal reaction we all handle anxiety and fear differently and whether you go into denial or weep and wail endlessly it doesn't matter.

However key thing is it will probably be nothing really nasty. I hope so because it is really shit when this gets in the way of those precious first days with your baby. Do let us know.

gigs No not goondogs kennel, that would be party central. No, threaten her with Big Copts mother, the controlled crying Nazi..... She obviously heard us, I should have talked a little louder about the only way that Big Copt could get me to come into her room at night was to shout that her head was stuck!

I may send her round copt. Malt I think light , heat (tho we have air con) and teething play a part too.

Helly- sorry for your friend but can't top what others have said. There is no good time to have cancer but I was dx when dd2 was 3 weeks old. If it is bad news , am happy to share experience of coping with a baby. As you can see from post above, life goes on after/with cancer and a baby, if it comes to that for your friend.

Went to watch sports day which was fun but I did have to walk slowly with lots of stops and my back is killing me. I know I have a problem there as radioing that area but am sincerely hoping its something that can be helped as this is a new area of ache ( that said sitting on hard grass for an hour and a half probably didn't help).

Gigs sitting on grass is always achy at the best of times hope you can rest up now
Hope everyone's enjoying the sun though it's a bit muggy here

Copt Hall, is that is Essex, near Epping? If so is it still derelict?

Welcome hellymelly (and waves to gingeroots if you're lurking :) ) fingers crossed for your friend that it's harmless.

Course was quite good, I felt so good just to be out of the house! Like you say malt doing my hair and make up made such a difference to how I felt, I felt properly human rather than feeling like I have a massive I HAVE CANCER sign on my head although had a bit of a wobble before I went out as more of my hair fell out while I was washing it and it has now lost its shape round my face - my hair has always had a funny sticky up bit at the front which I found annoying but miss it now it's gone! It will be so frustrating if my hair doesn't last until the end of chemo now I only have one cycle left :(

ANYWAY it was only a taster session so I don't have much wisdom to share yet, although there's an exercise programme that is recommended if anyone is interested, I'm going to have a re-read of my notes and google it in a mo :)

But sounds like it will be very useful, lots of info about planning ahead, setting goals, pacing, dealing with fatigue, mindfulness, relaxation... :)

I hadn't realised quite how much of a slump I've been in but going out really helped and I must do that more often as I'm feeling a lot perkier and more myself :)

The man next to me had terminal lung cancer and was told over two years ago he wouldn't make it to Christmas, two months away, and he currently walks eight miles a day!

Popped into Harvester on the way home and now I'm absolutely stuffed!

I hope everyone has had a good day :)

Sorry this was all me me me

gigs did big gigs win any races? I hope the achiness eases up or that they can help with it.

malt muggy here too but glorious sunshine earlier. How is present wrapping going? Have you got midnight feast supplies for the sleepover?!

copt did she get her head stuck in the cot bars?!

sometimes hope work is going well.

Waves to amber I hope you're having a good day

Ruby No, just another of her clever ideas, as always she was stood up in her cot, which we kept her in until 3 , grinning. She also enjoyed the sport of cot hurdling. She was quite creative about it, I caught her at it once, it was a sort of flosbury flop but grabbing the nursing chair on the way over to right herself!

I'm glad today was so good for your morale and actually enforced trying out of lesbian hair post chemo is actually quite fun.

Helly No it is a road I don't live in in Twickers. I first got into this damned addiction Mumsnet as a result of a local schools issue on which gigs and I could bore you for hours..... (I really wouldn't go there )

Ruby I'm glad it went well you sound very positive do pass on any tips. When do you go again ? I hope you manage to hang on to your hair

I'm dreading getting my results tomorrow don't know how I'm going to sit in the waiting room and listen to what he's going to say. Is running away an option ?

A big day for you tomorrow then Malt - when I was waiting to get my results I actually didn't think i would physically make it into the room - running away was so tempting. Whatever you get told it will be better from then on.

Betsy - when are you getting your scan results - is that also tomorrow?

Copt - with hindsight I think my tumour is following pregnancy (youngest is 9) as that boob stayed bigger then the other one - ironically i wondered why the smaller one had shrunk more. The lump has only recently gone really hard but the onc thinks it has been there for many years changing slowly.

Gigs - we had sports day on Saturday and I was wiped out afterwards - I think it is fairly normally when you have to do lots of standing/sitting and watching.

I am exhausted as I got my picc line done this afternoon - hadn't realised what that actually involved - it took an hour to get completely finished. Then had to drive to different hospital to get set up for tomorrow's chemo followed by a 2 hr wait to do school pick up then finally got to drive back home. DH is away so i have to run both kids around as well.

I'm strangely excited about tomorrow though - think it is such a big build up I just need to get started.

Picc line is a faff but its in now kitkat. I think your attitude is good- chemo is zapping the cells so you can be well. I liked to sing hit me with your best shot (in my head) when it went in to will it to work.
Malt- deep breaths (count of 5 in thru nose, out thru mouth) as slows heart.

Thanks for the sympathy that not just me who is stiff after sports day- back is new thing tho from last week so hoping its nothing else sinister , sigh. It's certainly painful and limiting.

Apprentice is on tonight tho. I may have cancer but at least I am not a delusional loon in nude heels who needs a cement mixer as part of the make up routine.

I looked up the exercise programme but think they've got their wires crossed as they said it was called Look Good, Feel Better but that seems to be a make up workshop for women with cancer, which could be helpful anyway, tips on covering up signs of treatment, filling in missing eyebrows, tying scarves etc, info here if anyone is interested :) another lady recommended an exercise DVD from breast cancer care. The course is every Wednesday for seven weeks although I'll miss one session for chemo. Apparently they are introducing them all over the country at the moment :)

malt I tried to run away from my diagnosis appointment they were late so I decided we were going home! They won't expect you to remember everything so I'm sure they will follow up in a letter or give you some leaflets if necessary. Sending you lots of positive thoughts, hopefully it will be some comfort to have a plan for your treatment :)

Copt - I fear that is what mini aiming at (she is actually asleep thank god). She was using a bean bag to try and do head stands in the sitting room earlier.

kitkat good PICC line is in. I was excited before treatment too, I think it's the relief of actually having something done rather than just the endless waiting!

I have been to the library today. I have been in Wodehouse land all afternoon, snorting with laughter, I love Bertie Wooster.

Then I got a lovely surprise in the post - an arty friend had made me a fabulous sparkling postcard to cheer me up.

A good day.

Deep breaths Trying not to think about it now can't change anything

Ruby I had a look at that programme it does look really good and my local hospital does it, my work friend mentioned something similar I'll have to ask her if it was that one. Thanks

Gigs also looking forward to the apprentice and seeing what they're wearing this week

Trice glad you've had a good day
Has anyone heard from Emin hope she's ok

Kitkat you have a good attitude hope it goes well tomorrow do let us know x

malt - loads of luck for tomorrow, - will be thinking of you, and you also Kitkat - good luck with the chemo getting started is good - one step closer to getting better

Loads of love to everyone - sorry I have slightly lost track as have been busy this week, and DH away so that complicates transport etc. as he has the car.

Gigs - bugger about the back, - hope that is sorted soon. Mini Gigs is a little character

Ruby - glad you are feeling a bit perkier, and that your session went well, - its easy to get very housebound when you are feeling rough and it does bring you down. Hope you had something nice at harvester

I have bookclub tomorrow - another intricate battle with the bus system here in darkest Norfolk to get to it! Book was awful anyway - but usually everyone else likes the books I hate and vice versa.

Old lady dog has been a bit under the weather this week, - she is getting very doddery now

love to all - many apologies to everyone I've missed - am thinking of you all x

Good luck for Malt and Kitkat tomorrow .
What times are your apts ?

I did a Look Good , Feel Better course . It was a make up lesson . Well worth going on just for the freebie bag you get given !
Loads of top brand make up (Chanel etc) and perfume .

Sauron sends gentle healing licks to Old Lady Dog
Hope she's feeling a bit better soon .

Gigs DD was one heck of a climber/escapologist as a toddler .
She used to climb out of her cot in the middle of the night and go downstairs .
We would often find her curled up asleep on a living room chair when we got up in the mornings !

Drinking gallons of peppermint tea today .
Think I've got cystitis
Life keeps on giving doesn't it ?

i was thinking of Copped Hall. Wasn't sure of the spelling. Spoke to my friend. She is very calm, steeling herself for bad news though. I am so hoping it won't be. The lumps are big,at least one is egg sized. She has been fobbed off by the GP several times and I feel really angry now that she could have had a scan nearly 3 months ago. According to the secretary it could take up to a fortnight for her results to come back- really hope it doesn't take that long.

malt good luck for tomorrow, fingers crossed the words you hear are "a good margin" and "clear nodes"

kitkat good luck for tomorrow, I hope it all goes smoothly. I know what you mean, I just can't wait to get started now
You asked about my scan results a bit back - My BCN said she would ring me as soon as the results from my scans come through and has asked me to nag them to do the chest x-ray before my bone scan tomorrow or next Tuesday (when I have heart & liver scans) as well as they haven't sent an appt through for that yet.

Has anyone had chemo without a PICC line? I asked about that yesterday and the Dr said they only put one in if they have problems on the FEC-T regimen (apparently they would do one if it was just FEC as the E bit (I think he said) can damage veins, but that's not likely to happen with just three doses). He looked at my arms and said my veins look pretty good so they would just see how they go. Part of me is glad not to have a line in for the next few months, but then I don't want to bugger up my veins either

Off to bed shortly, hopefully no more crazy dreams about feeling cancer spreading round my body - must remind myself that it is just my brain processing the fact I'm bricking it about the scans coming up and terrified they will show I have secondaries.

Sorry to be missing all day, but just wanted to hug Malt and say will be thinking of you tomorrow. Vibes a plenty coming from this way.

Missed masses - really can't keep up atm, but am thinking of you all. Be back soon. x

Just wrote a very depressing post but have decided to save you all from it and have deleted
I'll just say night night sweet dreams to all x