herpes?

[namechangeasimsoashamed]

Hi, I'm so confused, scared and ashamed right now.

I've been seeing a new man for a while now, having been single for almost a year. Last week we spent the night together. However, he has problems 'getting it up' so although we tried, full penetration did not happen. (sorry if tmi)

Then today he text me saying he's been to the Dr, and that he's had pain in his penis, and the dr told him It's herpes!!!

I've googled the symptoms, I don't, and never have, had them. There's also nothing that says penis pain is a symptom of herpes. I've only slept with 3 men, and am as sure as I can be that I don't have anything.

Also, the NHS website says its diagnosed from a swab test, and that results take a couple of weeks. So how had his gp diagnosed him ?

I'm just feeling scared, worried, confused, you name it!. Does anyone have any advice? Other than the obvious go and get checked, which I will do .

Just to say that some of the advice on this thread is inaccurate. Herpes can be passed in when no sores are present. Equally it is possible to carry the virus asymptomatically. Not sure about the op's situation but if she wants to find out if she has it she would have to request a blood test specifically for herpes. It's not tested for as part of a standard Sti screen and is only usually diagnosed by swabbing sores when they are present. For accurate information google herpes viruses association. They also have a good helpline. Also op shouldn't panic, it's very common and not usually a major problem, although a small mimority of people have frequent recurrences. Hope this makes sense typing quickly on phone with baby about to go into meltdown mode!

Sorry I hope that didn't sound blunt I don't want op to worry but just wanted to correct inaccuracies!

Was just about to post re not being passed on if no sores present, google 'shredding'

No offence taken my knowledge is very limited. Prefer to be corrected. Learn stuff myself. Thank u, hoped someone would tbh if nec...

Blimey just googled. Fascinating stuff u learn....

No I've never had sex with him, not full penetrative sex anyway. Unprotected or otherwise.

Thanks thumbs it all makes sense. I feel silly that I.don't know all this already

You can get herpes from a cold sore on his mouth/ saliva on his fingers.
Get yourself checked out pronto, and next time use a condom.

And just to add to that, condoms don't protect against herpes either

Don't be silly. :)

I meant that for op not anyone else sorry!!!

We didn't have penetrative sex venus hence no condom. If we had, he would have used one.

Wether or not he has herpes, he could have any number of other things. Please both go to the gum clinic and have a full screen done before you even consider doing anything else with this guy. Or anyone else for the matter, that was quite a risk OP. the erectile dysfunction could be his guilt I suppose, or it could be a problem. Having been there and done that, so to speak, I have to warn you (very unkindly) that that light be something you have to out up with if you stay with him. My ex very horribly told me that anyone new I got with would be disgusted by my stretch marked tummy. I sweetly smiled and just thought, well, anyone you get with has to deal with your droopy dick. I win

Don't feel silly Op, think most people only learn all this stufg when it's already too late! Eveb those who think they are all clued up about such things and very careful with Sti screens etc. there is a lot of ignorance out there about this little virus!

Just to add, if you do develop a herpes outbreak go to your local GUM clinic. They can give you medication like Aciclovor (sp?) to lessen the severity of the outbreak and if it's really bad you can have a numbing gel to lessen the pain.

Don't be embarrassed about going - they see lots of cases. They'll probably swab you while you're there, but because the sores are so distinctive they'll treat without waiting for the results.

Also Aciclovor is readily available in boots/chemists so not hard to get/find. Zovirax is just one brand....

Sorry wish but the topical acyclovir used for cold sores and sold OTC is not suitable for genital herpes. The GUM clinic would prescribe acyclovir tablets which need a prescription. You're right though that it's the same drug!

Thanks everyone for your advice, guess I'll be phoning the gum clinic tomorrow.

Agree that's what paper says inside it. GP prescribes it tho. Apparently works!

If you have caught herpes it could be month's before you get a outbreak of sore's, have heard the first outbreak is really painful you would know about it . The only way you will know is to get a swab test.

Yes, you can get herpes from oral sex, if he has a cold sore, also if he uses saliva to lubricate, and he has one on his mouth. It's the same virus.

You might be lucky OP this time, but please use a condom, even if he doesn't get an erection, have one handy. You can get a lot of thing from precum as well, including sperm!