TAMOXIFEN**33**

[MaryAnnSingleton]

new thread - bring the trolley over here....

Am burying sand on dyslexic traumas ahead, Copt, but well done on getting through the English Lit. v.posh bread place looks mmm, though am a bit worried by pic. He looks like Cat Weasel.

am very envious of posh bread place...bread must be one of my favourite foods I think.
Am going to post office shortly then must do a bit of boring cleaning. Meant to say that in yesterday's support group there's a woman who is still going strong after 7 years with secondaries - she is currently on chemo,not sure which- think she has bone mets,poss. liver- has a portacath too which she showed us.
Am currently hanging on the phone to speak to credit card people about my new pin which seems to be the same as the old defrauded pin...

7 years is good, MAS. Is she managing to live life alongside all the treatment? Hope bank's not playing you annoying music..

yes,seems so- she seemed very jolly and getting on with stuff, don't think she works any more (several are medically retired) All were praising our onc.and saying how fab he is.
Awful voice recognition thing on the phone -I always get annoyed with them...anyway, they're changing my pin.

Well that's good, MAS. Must be helpful to be able to meet women like that. Great to hear your Onc praised so highly too. I can't stand voice recognition either. Good you got your pin changed though.

Mmmmmm bakery sounds yum cop. Glad you have survived exam stress. Eldest DS is faking studying studying (and I use that term very loosely) for his GCSEs and it is not a happy household so I feel your pain.

smee mixed emotions about returning to work. In all honesty if I could afford not to go back then I wouldn't. I am really enjoying being at home but hey ho need to pay the bills .

Heavy snow forecast for tonight brrrrr

Oh happy birthday littletopsy - hope you are having a fab day. Will you be utilising the climbing wall topsy or will you have the Ipad with you in case you have Candy Crush withdrawal.

ds grumpy about after school revision for GCSEs - today it's English...
Can't put my finger on why but am feeling quite down, don't know whether it's the group or what.

Maybe it's you settling into the idea that this is the new you, MAS. By which I mean you having to accept you'll need longterm treatment. That must be quite a shift to make. Bet a grumpy teen isn't helping either! x

Gracie, are you going back full time? That'll be a shock if so. Snow..? Blimey.

No smee doing phased return. I only work part time anyway (3 days) but I am going back 2 mornings and 1 full day using last year's leave up.

Aw mas sorry you are feeling down. You are bound to have down days and if you aren't maybe feeling tip top that is bound to wear you down as well. Have you started your new hormone tabs yet as they may have a depressing effect for a while?

Meant to say to you earlier gigs when my arm pain was particularly bad I felt very down. I used to go to physio twice a week where they had me in traction and they then taped my arm (sounds weird) which gave me some relief but I was only allowed the tape on for 24 hours at a time. Hang in there. Sorry chemo brain here still but have they put you on Amitriptyline or Lyrica?

That is good to know people carrying on like that mas and glad bank sorted.

Reuben does look a bit like catweasel but bread and cakes are yummy.

Oh madness was some of other mums got all het up about how many kids in year 2 got into your dd school (apparently it wasn't as many as usual this year). It was all they could talk about at weekend parties (the kids are 4, exam is 2 years away and for some reason it has just dawned on them that not every kid passes entrance exam). The upshot was that they got the ringleader to email school mewing about how results were so poor, what has changed.

Got to love the schools response which was (with stats) pointing out kids do very well and not everyone get in particularly as this school isn't selective so you do get an ability mix. The tone was both exasperated and snotty. It did make me laugh as I was quite tempted (before I saw email) to put a message in big gigs' diary saying please don't think these loons are speaking on my behalf.

It is the first time I have seen such endemic pack mad competitiveness. I didn't reply to one mum who was going on about it that she should get some fucking perspective as my bigger worry is I drop dead when big gig is meant to change school (am a touch sensitive at min til do MRI and find out about this lump).

Need another stint on box from someone. Have telephoned my onc and nurse as had massage this morning and lady pointed out still had small lump near my scar site which had last week.

I had thought it was an insect bite that came up about 10 days ago as was sore and itchy but it is still there (looks bit bruised and red). of course I am In overdrive about another lump there tho I think there is meant to be a less than 5% chance of recurrence usually when have radio and chemo. I know need to ask and get it checked but mind in overdrive about worst outcome.

Gracie am on nortryptiline which is related to amyrytruptilne but less groggy next day. It works well. Have also had arm strapped - keep nodding at your posts as it is exactly what I feel.

In amidst my moaning, am still working. Phased return working well for me as allows me to build up.

oh gig - I can see how you must be worrying despite all the unlikeliness of recurrence- here's a gentle hug for you and am sitting firmly on the box ((((()))))
gracie hope return to work is easy and not stressful/exhausting xxx Am not on hormone tablets btw, my drugs are chemo, but I guess it has similar effect on emotions. Have written a rambly email to bcn.

Bugger, Gig. Last thing you need is another worry. I am on the box for you too. Move over, MAS. We can co-ordinate stripes maybe?

Gig, on gnawing pain, I know I found it really tough when I had my back problems. The pain meant I could never sleep for long, so the exhaustion made it all ten times worse. Really wears you down. Hope it's sorted soon.

Phased return sounds doable then, Gracie. How long d'you think you'll be doing that for?

MAS, hope BCN gets back to you quickly. Thinking back, I always found going to my group tricky. Was often positive, but always unsettling. I know yours is different to the one I went to, but maybe it takes some getting used to. xx

That whole school anxt thing is quite something isn't it? I hadn't really clocked it before, but DS will be in Yr5 next year so we'll have to start working out secondary schools. Should be interesting...

I opted out of my group course thing as found it too unsettling and felt you got burdened with other people's issues.

I mentioned this to my specialist nurse who actually says she doesn't advise groups as everyone is different and most people find them unsettling (you know I felt I couldn't be honest with woman I had coffee with or the one who was projecting on how everyone else would die). So I think a good long ramble email is in order.

It was the random side of it for me - not knowing who might be there, or what thoughts they might trigger. Kind of felt like I was unpacking it all when I wasn't sure i wanted to. Still think groups are great if you can get the mix right.

Also forgot other post Head Girl announcement story. Lovely camp father , think Paul Burrell, turned up at old bag Widow Twanky Headmistress's Office and cried buckets because he was sure that they would have picked his lovely sweet daughter... We could all hear him wailing from the corridor.

Blimey, Copt. That does sound mad. Don't think we'll be in anywhere near the same league with the choice round here. Though a mum I met for coffee yesterday did tell me off for not knowing there's a grammar school ds could try for. I hadn't even heard of it...

I will be sooooo glad when dd finishes junior school , as we too have school gate madness !
We still have a grammar school system over here , so all the mums are frantically getting their DC tutored for the transfer test !
not smug at all as tutor free dd got 95% in today's transfer test

Yay for Topsy's DD. Does that mean she'll get in. Sounds like it.

Think I'll stay blissfully ignorant for another year. DS is year 4, so time enough yet.

Slinks in to see if any bread left.

Yay for dd topsy.

And at those stories copthall - I need to get more ninja like at the pick up. Fortunately my slovenly appearance puts lots of the more alpha mums off.

Thanks for sympathy- I know mas will understand but somwtimes you just get into a stressed state and you can't sort out what is worth worrying about and what isn't.

Lets hope lump is nothjng and if it is, it is small so can be dealt with quickly with minimal other stuff . Not heard back from dr or nurse yet.

Ah good old Mn- always something to distract before I hit candy crush. Someone is asking for style advice for their auburn haired 5 month old.

I might ask what suits a one year old who is keen on accessorising with half chewed bread sticks and the remnants of any bits she can find on the floor. She isn't keen on face wipes so frequently sports a bit of a milk beard. I tend to shop using whatvever I can find from dd1 even if it doesn't match