***Tamoxifen 32***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

step this way dear ones...the trolley will be here in a sec...

gigs at baywatch / crimewatch, next week she'll probably be on the page with the grimy CCTV pictures of local crims. Also at lurex onesie, can we borrow it for next high tide??? DH has also departed for a couple of days, I actually rather enjoy the chance to achieve world domination control the remote and eat Brussell Sprouts. However different with little ones I know.

Topsy I didn't leave my bug on the trolley? Get better soon.

AtoZ Sorry about hair falling out. It actually wasn't as bad as I anticipated but if I hadn't anticipated it it might have been IYSWIM. Unattractive beanie hat was my solution of comfort, a nice fleecy one, even in bed . I don't know if I did hang on to a few wisps as it got to the point where I just shaved it all off. I had a very expensive full and luxurious wig which was a complete mistake as I do not have full and luxurious hair and it looked like a drag queen didn't look right. So most of the time I went for scarves, I liked tying it round and then twirling up the ends and winding them round the front again, sort of a turban. I did get some double looks going into hotels a couple of times, this was the months after 9/11!

Re. the appointment thing. Can you not get your GP to complain on your behalf, he is commissioning their services these days. They shouldn't be adding to the stress of treatment. Your GP should surely be giving you a hotline to see /speak to them anyway, if the hospital are going to refer it all back. I would go see the GP and discuss it all, and the fact that it is bringing you low. They should see doing what they can to relieve stress as part of the job, if not perhaps change GP? I did everything at the hospital but my GP still came to see me to check how it was going.

Waves to smee ned hnd kk mas pensometimes (love Celia too, can't decide between Celia, Victoria or Julie W for role model / fantasy best friend) and everyone else, madly trying to catch up but still off food, even chocolate, very worrying.....

And yes we will soon all be sitting in the sun looking at the bulbs, my irises and snowdrops are out

I was the queen of wigs and absolutely loved them. Beanies worked well though.

Thank you for all the headwear tips. I prefer scarves to wigs and as I am already half way through the chemo regime my hair should start to grow back in early April anyway. I just don?t want a scarf that will make me look like I?m wearing it for religious reasons IYSWIM.

Yes, I ought to complain to my GP. It just makes me so mad that they have all the infrastructure, all the skills etc at the Centre but a total inability to bring together patients and practitioners effectively. They seem to have no understanding that people need to plan for appointments etc. The nurse in the Day Unit last time was positively hostile ? I was quite shocked. She went all tutt-tutty when I told her the cannula hurt and she was forced to redo it. Hope it?s a different one tomorrow! It?s very disheartening.

I've just changed GPs and the new one is always fully booked - mainly because the crap one I recently ditched has gone sick. My new GP is good and knows his stuff but most of the time I have to deal with locums which is a pain but....

The brilliant GP I saw for the first time today has prescribed miracle-meds that have finally taken away all the gas I have been suffering from for 4 weeks now ? enabling me to scoff profiteroles!! Why couldn?t the specialist oncology doctors have suggested that? DS is so much happier now too that he can see an improvement in me ? even though he had to share the profiteroles! I really must keep remembering the effect that all this has on those closest to us ? which is not always easy when you?re feeling so shite. But DS is being an absolute trooper ? he?s amazing! But I tell him that everyday.

I love Celia Imrie ? great actress. We had Jamie Oliver filming in our street a few years ago and it?s always quite a shock to see the ?telly-folk? in the flesh.

Sending everyone very best wishes ? we?ll all get there!

Morning all

Sorry for prolonged absence - have had a rather miserable week. Had a brain-explosion-too-much-to-take-in day on phonics course on Thursday and the cow county expert leading it was rude to me about how little I know Then had a bit of a meltdown on Friday - deputy head popped into my class mid-morning unannounced and stayed for about 10 minutes. By lunchtime I had convinced myself she was so horrified with what she had seen that I would be sacked by the end of the day. Anyway, I sobbed wildly at spoke to her and it was all fine, she was happy with what she'd seen, how could she help me, what support did I need etc, which obviously made me cry even more because she was being nice to me. . . Felt completely drained by Friday night.

Then had mad in-laws for the weekend. They frustrate me because they don't seem to want to engage with DS at all, even though he is bright and chatty and good company. MIL sits around with a cats bum face all the time, and then complains that she is bored. This is despite the fact that DS was playing on the computer, painting, building Lego planes, reading with me, going out on his scooter, any or all of which she could have taken part in. OK, maybe not the scooter bit She is an alcoholic, although we never talk about it, and but seems to be cutting down after a disastrous liver function test results - some GT something level is supposed to be about 50 - hers is nearly 900 SIL, who is a GP has told her in no uncertain terms that she is killing herself, so maybe something has sunk in, as she was much more restrained than normal over the weekend. Poor DH finds it really hard to cope with

They did take us here for sunday lunch, which was delicious. I had the smoked salmon starter then the aubergine and halloumi burger. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . . . (kurri might be a good one to try when you're next down this way? )

Had counselling today - hard again, but he did say that he thought we were making progress. . .

Anyway, think I have caught up a bit. . .

MAS Sorry to read that you are struggling with diagnosis at the moment. Have you heard back from BCN? I am sure she will have some wisdom to share. Got everything crossed for your scan on Saturday. How's the meds going this week?

AtoZ another vote for Buffs here. try here Hope you are bearing up OK love xx

smee how's things with you? Bet you're busy as always. Take it easy, though, won't you? DS recovered from his bug? Hope so. We have been bug-free this winter - I am convinced that the flu jab has something to do with it. . .

amber you always seem to be so busy doing clever and brilliant things. Hope you are still getting some time for yourself too

Pen thinking of you. Hope you're doing OK?

Sometimes ! great to see you, lovely. Sorry I missed you. Hope you are not too busy?

topsy a lady I know swore by Manual Lymphatic Drainage for lymphoedema - its a sort of massage, I think. here's some info about it Might be worth asking BCN if there is clinic you can go to. Hope all well in the topsy house x x

HND How's the dribbling? Hope you are making progress with your drains. Have they told you when they might think about taking them out? Hope you are managing to get some rest.

gig how's work going, lovely? I know how scary it is going back after so long - thinking of you lots. Hope your colleagues are being supportive.

kurri how's the Kindle? Hope you are loving it! I completely love mine - it means I can read complete trash without admitting it I got a waterproof pouch for mine recently, which is a revelation - now I can read it in the bath!

gracie did I already say YAY for your clear MRI? Not sure. . . anyway, better to do a second YAY than not put one on at all!

Lots of love to everyone. I promise I will try to be more efficient and keep up x x x x x x

I am doing ok thanks. Feel much physically better but have a cold now and vp very croaky voice. People think my voice is due tot he surgery I think as I keep getting very pitying looks.
Will be glad when Thursday is over and I know what the 'treatment plan' they speak of entails.
My GP has signed me off until April and it is all over so at least I don't have to worry about work.
ned we are not a million miles from there !

pen we're only about 10 minutes drive away! Have you ever been? It't lovely and food is always amazing Glad that you've got signed off. I felt such a relief when the doctor signed me off completely. Its so important not to have to worry about trivial things like work!

yum,that menu looks fab...MIL sounds a tricky one, hope she is heeding SIL's warning.
Meds going ok this week- the lower dose is a breeze !
No word from BCN yet, suspect she might be off for a few days but am sure she'll ring when she can.

Hi all, hope a good day is being had by all,

AtoZ hair falling out is a bit of a downer - makes it all seem 'real' somehow. - i quite like this site - I never wore a wig, but went for little soft cotton and jersey caps and scarves, - if you click on the list down the side of the page, they have quite a good selection of scarves, bandanas and hats, and they are fairly cheap compared to other sites. Hope your appointment today goes well.

Ned - MIL sounds like hard work, - mine could be a bit of a pain too, although her heart was in the right place, - she never really got over the fact that her DS had married a 'foreigner'

I'm glad the counselling is going well, - my DS had counselling and CBT a few years ago, and he said it was one of the hardest things he's done, but definitely worth it, - it takes courage to face your fears and problems xx

I love my Kindle - I've downloaded a whole lot of the free classics from amazon and am really enjoying them - Wilkie Collins, Jane Austen, etc. - and its really easy to read in bed too.

That menu looks fab - love the sound of the Halloumi and aubergine burger, - and the goats cheese starter, - but how will we decide which pudding to have - there are too many nice things? - unless we had two puddings each if course
Pen - my Mum lives in Dorset, so Ned and I met up for lunch when I was last down for a visit, - Ned is a lovely lovely woman, - but she will insist on forcing calorific puddings down my throat - obviously I try to choose a healthy salad, but she won't have it -- If you are nearby, it would be great if we could all three meet up - if you feel well enough of course

MAS - I love your pictures, and I have now worked out how to sponsor you, so am just going to do that in a minute.

Sometimes - lovely to see you

We are down in Poole so not far and we spend lots of time in our camper at various sites around Dorset. Definatly up for lunch when you are about !

Yay! lunch with kurri and pen! When you're feeling bit better pen give me a shout if you fancy meeting up - I'm happy to drive to Poole if that's easier for you x x

Oops, got a bit excited with my bolding there!

yay - meet up would be great - Pen I grew up just outside Wareham, and my Mum still lives there, I'll probably be down in a couple of months or so

Calm down Ned

Excellent ! I take every opportunity to get out of town so am happy to drive. We live near the beach so it is nice here but I love the countryside.

I am now off work for at least 8 weeks and have a little bit of time on my hands so just let me know when is good for you. My thyroxine is stopping soon so sooner rather than later may be good before my metabolism grinds to a complete halt.

pen have PMed you

back from haircut for T
BCN rang,or at least I rang her back- she was rational and sensible and listened to me wittering on...anyway,she said she'd speak to onc. etc

Hi ned nice to her from you .... I don't have the suction drains in that I did after the op.... It's wound pouches that stick over the leaky bits of the wounds and catch the fluid and you can empty them .... They are a lot cleaner than soggy dressings and you can measure the fluid loss .... I had the massive swelling under my arm from the trauma of the LD flap surgery and its taking time to escape .... It has slowed down so fingers crossed !

Seeing the surgeon again tomorrow to make sure everything is going well.

Your MIL sounds like a barrel of laughs (not) !!! It must be so tiring to be grumpy don't you think ?

pen I agree it is a big relief to get signed off ..... I am signed off til end of march and to be reviewed then .... I think I will need a bit more time after that

Hope everyone else is ok today

Morning all! Back in the land of the internet but soooo tired and I need to get up and go :(
Will put a on. What are you all doing today?

good morning jane Am drawing/trip to Waitrose/piano lesson for the boy.
Good news from Japan - they liked the drawings !

Mornjng all - please.

Also one nocturnal baby for loan. Wakes at 2, shouts, plays , wakes her sister, throws up her milk, fills her nappy, tries to throw herself off bed while laughing then refuses to go back to sleep.

She is quite cheery this morning, mummy less so.

Morning all. I am having a lazy morning then off to the hospital to deliver home made cupcakes to the ward I was imprisoned in staying in and then off to see the surgeon. topsy already sampled cupcake for breakfast !

mas glad they liked your artwork, I love your drawings myself

gigs I have done my time with mini kids ... Thank goodness my youngest is now 4 !!!

Hi

They excelled themselves yesterday

Expected problems so got there very early. Just as well as my chemo hadn't been ordered. Luckily by getting there so early they could get (just) it delivered before the pharm closed.

Have now escalated it to formal complaint - but really don't want to or have the energy for it.

Vomitted bile all the way home, spent 2 hours on the loo with acute stomach cramps (constipation followed by diar) and spent the rest of the evening in bed.

I am going to have a very strong discussion with oncologist next week - this is not good enough.

Sorry about the moan.

that's terrible AtoZ

Moan away- am for you.

Can I suggest aloe Vera juice for the confused stomach as seems to ease constipation and settle the runs. Chemo did this to me too. Get a flavoured one as tastes like the devils jockstrap (or put it in juice). It also helps protect mouth and stomach lining from the harshness of chemo.

Hnd- cakes sound lovely , hope appt goes well. I also have a 4 year old- she is a challenge of her own. Teacher been complaining she won't work alone (knows what to do, demonstrates it perfectly but just won't sit and do examples alone ). I keep reminding myself she is a young reception kid.

Hi all

Have just had a madly embarrassing session with our IT chap - I ordered an iPad which his team got for me, and gave me. He's been on the phone saying he's annoyed with them, he told them that from past experience I won't have a clue what to do and so he's coming round personally to make sure it syncs with my other stuff because I'll never manage it. I truly am a technical no-hoper. Nice of him tho' Until he gets here (prob next week) I'm just using it to play Fruit Ninja

Oh AtoZ that's appalling. So very on your behalf.

@ sometimes !