Sorry long. I've got myself into a state.

[DowntonSprouts]

I have a prolapsed disc in my back. It happened about 6 months ago. I have had an MRI scan and have been having physio. While it helped initially to get me moving there has been some deterioration over the last month or so.

Physio said she was concerned and that she wasn't prepared to continue treatment until I had had a consultants opinion. Hence sudden urgent (5days) appointment with specialist neurologist at private hospital in another city. My nearest 5 NHS trusts do not do this treatment, I had already waited 3 months for an appointment on the non urgent list due to locum doctor not reading my notes, not looking at my scan and scathingly brushing me off as " there's not much they can do for backache."

It seems I should have been urgently referred from the beginning. The consultant wants to do the operation straight off, instead of trying injections to bring down swelling around the nerve. He says it will not pop back in by itself- as most discs do. So that's fine, not what I wanted to hear, but any other time I would just have had it done straight away.

But I can't. I can't do the 6 weeks recovery. I am moving down south for family reasons, just after Christmas. DD is also starting school down there. DH has to stay here for his business. It will be for 7 months but we have agreed that we can do this for this short time because come the summer we will all be together again.

The consultant has agreed to wait, grudgingly, and with a warning that the travelling was a concern for him and that if anything changes with my back I will need to have the op immediately. I wasn't enirely honest with him in that I said I wasn't in pain all the time, just uncomfortable all the time. The reality is that when the pain is bad it makes me cry, I can't move and am unable to feel my legs. My movement is extremely compromised and I can't lift, bend, drive more than 15 mins, lay down to sleep, sneeze, cough etc and have constant pressure on my sciatic nerve.

I'm an idiot. I just wanted to get out of there so I didn't take anything he said in and I didn't ask any questions. I just remember him saying it wasn't life threatening so he was prepared to let me wait but that there were certain things that I had to watch out for and if they occurred they were dangerous I had to go straight to hospital. Like a fool I googled and now I'm a bit scared because I'm not really sure that I CAN go on like this for another 6 months. What am I going to do?

The problem with backs is that when they go wrong they can go very, very wrong.

I am concerned that you mention you sometimes are unable to feel your legs. I am not an expert here but I would be inclined to put your health first, you don't want to end up with any permanent problems caused by delaying treatment.

I think you should never mess with your health. Do you want to end up in a wheelchair? I know that sounds harsh. And I know its deeply inconvenient. But these things are never convenient. Have you no family or friends that could rally round and help? Please phone the consultant again and say you've decided you can't wait after all. How sympathetic is DH?

How old are you?

Sorry just read your thread out to my husband ( chiropractor) and he said this matters.

Also is pain worst in leg or back? if leg does it go beneath the knee?

I'm 43.

DH is really supportive. The problem is that the lease on the new place starts 2nd jan. everything is signed and paid for. dD has left her current school and starts at the new one on the 7th Jan.

I have no one to help. I will be on my own with DD in London.

I am too young to be like this (says consultant) but I really thought I could just push on through with the help of physio, painkillers and maybe the injections. I don't even have the physio set up down south as I will need to be re referred as an urgent case.

Yes the pain is worse in the leg. My back is just tender around the site (L5?) The numbness, which I think is the worrying thing, extends right from my buttock down the back of my thigh, the side of my calf and sometimes under my foot. I can only explain it by saying I could stick pins in my calf and not feel it. Pins and needles too, and weakness in the leg.

how old is dd? Could she stay down south with family and go to her new school while you recover from op with DH? Or alternatively could you ring existing school and say plans have changed you need her place back (you don't have to tell them its temporary). I think you need to prioritise yourself here. Look at it that if you're not well/or even worse permanently affected by this, it will impace on everyone in the family.

I mean 'impact'.

This will sound like I'm making excuses but I'm not. I have already pushed back the new school 1 term. They won't hold the place open for another term. The fees are paid and her old school place has gone.

This wouldn't have happened if I had seen my family doctor instead of the locum. She was useless and uninterested. He would have referred me straight away and this would have been over and done with.

Like I said, I trusted the system and thought I could manage but now I'm scared that I can't. I have a friend who had this op earlier this year. It went wrong and she needed another one.

I know about watching for problems with my bowels and numbness when I wipe etc. which I don't have. But the numbness is close to there.

Do you have to do the manual moving or would you just be able to travel down and settle in to the new place? The reason I am asking is because my DH had a similar story to you, well his was rubbish GP, physio said he could not help and at my insistence (after 7 weeks) GP referred to private neurosurgeon who after MRI told him it was urgent. The longer you leave it the more likely the possibility of nerve damage and as a previous poster said and you have found on google, it is possible to do more damage.

So, to cut a long story short, my DH had the op, he was walking around the hospital the next day, the following day he was able to walk 500 yards and slowly kept building the distance up. He was not 6 weeks recovering, although I appreciate people recover at different rates. I am just thinking could you get the op ASAP and just arrange maybe some support at your new house with cleaning/housework, online shopping etc for a few weeks until you feel stronger?

If you would like more information pm me and I will get DH to answer any questions that may give you an idea of what to expect/recovery time.

Hi Downton, do you have numbness on the inside of your thighs, in the same distribution as if you were sat on a saddle? Do you have normal bowel and particularly bladder function? If 10 out of 10 is childbirth pain, what the your worst pain you've experienced during this bout and what is the pain right now?

Is there any way you can sort out having an au pair to help you out in London and have the op there? If you can have someone living in who can do the school run and physical stuff while you recover then you could have the operation.

I had the same surgery when I had a 2 yr old. My DH went back to work after 3 days and I was on my own. It was hard; walking and sitting was painful for a while (2-3 weeks). I just didn't go out or do much. But with a school age child you will need to get her to school.

I don't think you should wait. I also delayed surgery (2 months) and ended up with no feeling in one foot for 6 months. The damage could have been permanent if I'd left I longer. The operation was fantastic at sorting the disc and by my 3 month checkup I was nearly 3 months pregnant so I must have been fairly physically able quite soon after!

can you not move and have the surgery there?

could dh take some time off work to go to london with you while you recover and look after dd, then go back when you are able to manage?

Contact the consultant. Tell him you were minimising your symptoms when you saw him. Explain them fully to him and ask his professional opinion on whether the surgery can safely be deferred.

Better upset your plans now than find yourself in London and suddenly unable to move your legs and needing emergency surgery.

Good luck.

Hi minky no. I know about the saddle area thing. It is only my right buttock and waterworks/bowels are fine. I would go straight in if that changed. Your husband is thinking about this equina something isn't he?

The proper pain, at times, has been horrendous. About a 9. That is when it is sharp. The physio really helped with that. The numbness is fairly recent. It started as a cramp like feeling, which I took to be the sciatic nerve. The pins and needles and then the no feeling in my leg is the worrying thing. Presently I'm about a 3, discomfort really, unless I move!

But the physio won't treat me anymore. I know it is because she is concerned and the consultant confirmed what she said. I just feel so backed into a corner like time has run out and I'm not ready.

I could have the surgery in London. I could time it for a school holiday. dH could take a few days but no more. The recovery period is a week doing very little. 3 weeks no driving. 6 weeks off work ( if I was working.)

If I had the op here over half term I would have to cope alone after 1 week. And travel back to London.

It's bloody Christmas as well, the consultant only does 1 day a week at that hospital so I can't speak to him til next Friday.

iseesmallpeople I will be in west London. Well ,N W1/ Marylebone..

I have no family to help. They all work.

Hi Downton, he says it IS risky not doing the surgery, but that you sound fairly switched on and determined. He suggests that if you choose not to go for surgery straight away ( doesn't sound life threatening as surgeon confirmed) then your pain may be manageable by conservative treatments such as Chiropractic or Osteopathy. Find a good one on recommendation. He says "Personally, if I thought you were still eligible for Chiropractic after examination would use what is known as an S.O.T. ( sacral occipital therapy) category 3 blocking technique to relieve the pressure on the disc." We live in Devon, so that doesn't really help, but DH sees cases like yours quite regularly. He would see them every four days until symptoms improved (usually 4 sessions). Your call :)

He also says make sure they've been practicing for at least 10 years!

You can speak/call his secretary, she will pass on messages that he needs to know.

I think you are comprimising your own health for those around you and will not only make things go on for longer but also make them impact everyone's lves for longer.

I'm the women that has just refused surgery because of Christmas and family commitment and put myself through the worst 2 weeks of my life instead of a week of others picking up the slack.

Won't be doing that again in a hurry.