Sorry long. I've got myself into a state.

[DowntonSprouts]

I have a prolapsed disc in my back. It happened about 6 months ago. I have had an MRI scan and have been having physio. While it helped initially to get me moving there has been some deterioration over the last month or so.

Physio said she was concerned and that she wasn't prepared to continue treatment until I had had a consultants opinion. Hence sudden urgent (5days) appointment with specialist neurologist at private hospital in another city. My nearest 5 NHS trusts do not do this treatment, I had already waited 3 months for an appointment on the non urgent list due to locum doctor not reading my notes, not looking at my scan and scathingly brushing me off as " there's not much they can do for backache."

It seems I should have been urgently referred from the beginning. The consultant wants to do the operation straight off, instead of trying injections to bring down swelling around the nerve. He says it will not pop back in by itself- as most discs do. So that's fine, not what I wanted to hear, but any other time I would just have had it done straight away.

But I can't. I can't do the 6 weeks recovery. I am moving down south for family reasons, just after Christmas. DD is also starting school down there. DH has to stay here for his business. It will be for 7 months but we have agreed that we can do this for this short time because come the summer we will all be together again.

The consultant has agreed to wait, grudgingly, and with a warning that the travelling was a concern for him and that if anything changes with my back I will need to have the op immediately. I wasn't enirely honest with him in that I said I wasn't in pain all the time, just uncomfortable all the time. The reality is that when the pain is bad it makes me cry, I can't move and am unable to feel my legs. My movement is extremely compromised and I can't lift, bend, drive more than 15 mins, lay down to sleep, sneeze, cough etc and have constant pressure on my sciatic nerve.

I'm an idiot. I just wanted to get out of there so I didn't take anything he said in and I didn't ask any questions. I just remember him saying it wasn't life threatening so he was prepared to let me wait but that there were certain things that I had to watch out for and if they occurred they were dangerous I had to go straight to hospital. Like a fool I googled and now I'm a bit scared because I'm not really sure that I CAN go on like this for another 6 months. What am I going to do?

I managed to speak to my own doctor today. He warned that the nerve damage and lack of reflex could be permanent.

Does anyone know why I would have numb areas in my upper back/shoulder blade areas too? This has developed over the weekend. I have emailed consultants secretary with my questions but am unlikely to get a response until into the new year now.

Downton I know nothing about this and am sorry you are in pain. Without meaning to assume too much about your lifestyle (but noting your references to private healthcare and schools) would the solution not just be to find someone as soon as you arrive in London to act as a mother's help and take your daughter to and from school/ do some housework/ look after you? That way, you could get the operation asap after you arrive and also be able to rest and recuperate as needed.

Good luck.

Ah the private hospital is a red herring. I've been referred there by the NHS.

The private school is something we are stretching ourselves to pay for as it is a massive opportunity for DD, something she has worked very hard for.

I have paid six months rent on a flat with the money my father left me.

Things will be a bit tight until the summer with us running two homes. Our choice of course. Add to that that I am unable to work....

We were overjoyed when this opportunity cam eup in the summer, after a really hard two years, it felt like something was going right at last. A little bit of luck. We have invested so much into this move, financially and emotionally I suppose. It feels like everything is conspiring against us.

If it wasnt Christmas I could have contacted the neuro, had a proper appointment with my dr, got a re referral for physio, started my new medication and would not be feeling so panicked.

I'm sure it will work itself out. It's all just bad timing.

Sorry, just saw this. DH says it sounds like your back pain is changing, which is what the consultant has asked you to look out for. He says that this could be ok, or equally it might be a problem. The numb areas of the back might be of concern. Really you do need to get in touch with your consultant asap. I can see you've emailed his secretary but you might be better to contact the hospital and speak to someone in the department, bearing in mind the time of year. A&E if you have no luck. Better to be safe than sorry. Good luck and fingers crossed that everything works out exactly as you need it to.

I understand how difficult it may be to have the surgery soon, but the implications of nerve damage are not worth the risk. I was told the increasing and extensive numbness and the muscle weakness/lack of reflex in particular are very significant meaning surgery is needed as soon as possible. A few months ago I was in a similar situation- roughly the same symptoms, no family anywhere remotely close and a massive financial implication by having surgery/recovery period, but was told if I didn't have the surgery the longer term implication was significant. The sooner you get things sorted it could actually mean recovery is quicker and longer term things are better for you.

There is never a right or best time to go through something like this as life always seems to get in the way of making it easy. You will find a way to manage regardless. Please be careful and good luck with everything.