Sorry long. I've got myself into a state.

[DowntonSprouts]

I have a prolapsed disc in my back. It happened about 6 months ago. I have had an MRI scan and have been having physio. While it helped initially to get me moving there has been some deterioration over the last month or so.

Physio said she was concerned and that she wasn't prepared to continue treatment until I had had a consultants opinion. Hence sudden urgent (5days) appointment with specialist neurologist at private hospital in another city. My nearest 5 NHS trusts do not do this treatment, I had already waited 3 months for an appointment on the non urgent list due to locum doctor not reading my notes, not looking at my scan and scathingly brushing me off as " there's not much they can do for backache."

It seems I should have been urgently referred from the beginning. The consultant wants to do the operation straight off, instead of trying injections to bring down swelling around the nerve. He says it will not pop back in by itself- as most discs do. So that's fine, not what I wanted to hear, but any other time I would just have had it done straight away.

But I can't. I can't do the 6 weeks recovery. I am moving down south for family reasons, just after Christmas. DD is also starting school down there. DH has to stay here for his business. It will be for 7 months but we have agreed that we can do this for this short time because come the summer we will all be together again.

The consultant has agreed to wait, grudgingly, and with a warning that the travelling was a concern for him and that if anything changes with my back I will need to have the op immediately. I wasn't enirely honest with him in that I said I wasn't in pain all the time, just uncomfortable all the time. The reality is that when the pain is bad it makes me cry, I can't move and am unable to feel my legs. My movement is extremely compromised and I can't lift, bend, drive more than 15 mins, lay down to sleep, sneeze, cough etc and have constant pressure on my sciatic nerve.

I'm an idiot. I just wanted to get out of there so I didn't take anything he said in and I didn't ask any questions. I just remember him saying it wasn't life threatening so he was prepared to let me wait but that there were certain things that I had to watch out for and if they occurred they were dangerous I had to go straight to hospital. Like a fool I googled and now I'm a bit scared because I'm not really sure that I CAN go on like this for another 6 months. What am I going to do?

Yes. I will email him my questions. That is a good idea.

He knows the full situation and how this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to us. Which is why he agreed to let me try, with caveats.

zippity DD is 10 so not a baby. From your experience could I manage to walk for 5 mins to school and back twice a day do you think.? If I did nothing else? It wouldn't matter for a while.

Downton, contact the hospital, ask to speak to the consultant's secretary and ask her (or him) to ask consultant to contact you. The secretaries can be v helpful for this sort of thing.

The consultant has examined you, but didn't have the full picture. He is the one you need to speak to.

Ah. BluelightsAndSirens said it first. And better

minky thank you. I can ask my GP to refer me to someone in London if the neurologist agrees. Otherwise I could pay for it if he says that may help.

Yes bluelights you've done it. I'm doing it. I really, really need to just get this next few months out of the way.

I really think, hope, that the consultant would have been more forceful if I was putting myself in danger. But then, you are right, I was in shock and not completely honest.

Bugger. I'm being a martyr aren't I?

I just don't know how we're going to manage either way.

Hi Minky, DH says don't worry, you're not in danger, even if you weren't completely truthful. The Consultant would have been able to tell and you probably wouldn't have left the hospital. DH thinks you've made a good decision to go back and review the situation though. Good luck x

Not Minky - that's me. Doh.

Oh dear I was just going to "LOL" then.

Yes DD can do a lot, if I can just have a few weeks to get her street savvy in central London. We live in a small Yorkshire village where everyone knows everyone. So, at worst, with help for a weeks recovery and a few weeks to prepare DD I could manage.

I am feeling more positive. I will email/ speak to secretary of neuro and ask all these things that I should have done in the first place.

Thanks for asking your DH Minky. I really must learn not to google and scare myself silly. I do know what to look out for, really.

I'm sorry but I would not take the advice of a chiropractor on this one especially third hand over the Internet.

It is very important that you are open and honest with your consultant about your symptoms so that you can both fully understand the situation and potential risks. He is there to help you FFS lying to him so you can put your head in the sand and avoid reality is silly and dangerous.

I don't think I could have walked 5/10 mins straight away after the operation. Probably after a week, taking it slowly but I'd allow 2 weeks with some help. One of the unexpected bad effects was going cold turkey on all the pain meds I had been taking. That made me feel worse than the physical pain.

I can recommend Neil Dorwood if you want a referral in W London. He works privately at the Wellington Hospital which is v near Marylebone or NHS at the Royal Free.

We all do it Downton. Glad you're feeling like you know what to do now.

Casamama, I hope you know what you're talking about, rather than just adopting a pontificating tone. Pre DH I used to work in an Orthopaedic Hospital and all of the surgeons consulted Chiropractors or Osteopaths to take care of their backs, including the head clinician. This 'third hand' advice you talk about - advice you don't feel Downton should listen to, advice that was carefully dictated by an seasoned experienced professional - actually suggested that whilst she had options, she was better to go back and chat openly to the consultant. Rudeness is uncalled for.

No no casmama I am not just thinking everything is ok just because someone said so on the Internet. But I know what mints DH was concerned about and I don't have those symptoms. I just didn't understand why the consultant was asking about my bowels until I googled it. The advice I am taking is to go back to my consultant and ask if continuing physio will help until I have the operation.

Maybe I could schedule it for the Easter break and so be up here for a couple of weeks after.

I am hoping Marylebone is nice iseesmallpeople I know the high street is lovely but I'm nearer the station. It is still all bright lights, big city, to us summer wine people.

I will try and see my own doctor if I can get in this week. I have a list of meds from the consultant that he says are too expensive on private prescription so my own doctor can prescribe them for me. And I will discuss it with him.

He has been very good getting us referred to GOSH for DDs treatment, instead of up here so I'm sure he will help me get sorted.

Good for you. Hope you get yourself sorted and this will all be a dim and distant memory :)

good grief you hint at poor practice eg then ooh ignore it.don't reproduce tittle tattle

At the moment I'm proposing surgery at a private hospital in Yorkshire. But as you can tell, that may change. My consultant is a specialist neurosurgeon and is the only one in this area. It is still 40 miles from where I live currently.

I hope to be able to find my feet in London fairly quickly. If I can just get DD settled in school I'm sure I can cope. I just need a few weeks.

you've hinted at staff knowledge of 5yo case.that's somewhat alarmist
is it reflective if current staffing,current practice
good you retracted but you've been gossipy about 5yo case