*tamoxifen* 31- in the bus shelter with the cheap booze

[Gigondas]

Shiny new thread

Apologies. I was composing the above and only just saw pen's news - and I was thinking about you today, checking in intermittently. I'm dreadfully sorry to hear this.

Have you got people around who can support you in RL? Take whatever you can from friends and family. I know they'll want to do their bit to take you through the process. For me it helped after DX to focus on understanding the treatment plan and what's in store. The www.cancerresearchuk.org/cancer-help/ site has useful info, in my experience.

All my best wishes, loma

Yes I do and I think it is a good idea (especially since I think you said your work involves some aspects that might be particularly hard at this time).

Lomas advice about Macmillan is good too.

I think that getting op out the way will really help you so focus on that.

Thanks kurri and gig

I am seeing Doctor Just as Lovely again on Monday - he asked me if it was helpful to see someone regularly and I said it was, and he said that medicine was losing sight of this sort of need, with targets and boxes to tick, and that if this was what I needed, it was their duty to provide it. He's such a nice doc, he made me cry even more by being so nice. He also put a note on my records to say I should be booked in that day if I ring up. He's going to ring the counselling service too that I self-referred to, to keep them in the picture. He said I should be offered CBT. IS that what you had gig?

Part of me feels so self indulgent and needy and attention seeking. . .

penis sorry, I missed your news. You're over the first hurdle now, with a diagnosis. Now you need to ready yourself for the next step on the journey. We've all been down this path before, so we can hold your hand, mop up your tears and support you every step of the way. Hand on to the positive prognosis and the fact that the docs are acting quickly to give you the best chances. Stick with us, lovely, and we can get you through it x x

And loma that sounds normal- I assume you are dosed up on painkillers too so that makes you feel groggy. Get in your pjs and rest (I lived in my onesie post op).

I have had Cbt (but my ongoing therapy is psychodynamic so much more about deep rooted issues and how they affect you- can be difficult at time). Good Cbt helps you "cope"- identify flash points and ways to deal with them. It is useful I think for a worry or anxiety. I think it falls down if your issue is more deep seated or depression related . For example I started seeing my therapist after losing a baby- that kind of thing doesn't really work so well with Cbt.

Maybe not right for me then gig d'you think? Should I be asking for something else instead? Is it possible to have a combination of different sorts of counselling in parallel?

It is possible but they tend to like you to do one sort at a time. Tbh given what you have said I would agree that Cbt probably not appropriate.

pen everything's been shifted around and won't feel normal for a while, but it will be; just a reshaped normal!

Gigondas I've just texted friend with kiddies back to cancel. I'm a bit miffed, TBH. She could have come today, but was busy shopping for extra presents (all day ??).

Ned your doctor sounds lovely. How is it self-indulgent to be cared for by someone in the caring profession (I ask rhetorically).

Now I sound self-indulgent and grabbie, but I've helped said friend with loads of stuff in recent months (e.g. professional advice - given freely and happily, with no expectation for anything in return) and she hasn't found the time to visit for the past week, despite being off work with kiddies at school. What can you do? You find out who your real friends are at times like this.

Oh Pen. . It is good that it's one of the better types, but still, bloody cancer. Grr for you. Stay here with us. We really can help you through. xx

Ned, Dr JustasLovely sounds well... lovely!! You're doing everything right you know. Might not feel like it, but you really are. And stop apologising. Might sound weird, but it kind of helps me knowing others find it tough after treatment's finished. It normalises how I felt. Not that I'd wish it on any of us, but there's a lot to be said for normal. xx

You definitely find out who your true friends are Loma. Mostly mine were amazing, but one just disappeared. Have never fathomed out why and still feel sad about it.

MAS, hope tomorrow's okay. Am assuming it's just a general catch up appt, so not too stressful?

Topsy, that police look suits you.

And Kurri, I want to see DH dancing. DS is obsessed with Gangham Style and gallops round the house singing it.

Been out for lovely lunch with old friend, and had DS's carol concert this morning too, so a festive day in Smeeland. Haven't quite finished work though, so had better get on. Waving to all I've missed.

Thanks everyone. Looks like I will be a resident of this thread from now on.

Sorry I can't offer much support at the moment but when I am back on my feet I will do my best .

pen hugs and offerings of rum truffle cakes- well done for getting through the results bit- and ys,I think you should ask to be signed off as work will no doubt churn up all ki9nds of stuff and you need to get your head around your own diagnosis and impending op. Am glad it;'s a 'better' kind of cancer to have,if that makes sense.
Enormous hugs for my lovely ned - you are having a tough time of this - agree that CBT might not be the thing for you- 'tis more useful for folk like me with ocd ness. How lovely your docs are though- I think regular visits will be very helpful (I did this with my bcn- as and when neeeded I'd ring and see her)

I have cheeses ! I got : emmenthal; camembert;Blacksticks BlueStilton,Wensleydale with apricots,English goat , smoked chjeese and some interesting French thing in a little box

Pen, large unmumsnetty hug for you. Shock is v normal. so are all other emotions, in any order at all.

Ned, equally large unmumsnetty hug for you too. Surround yourself with anyone and anything you can hug and feel safe with. And don't apologise for how you feel - and you're absolutely not being selfish etc. There are no prizes for being Stiff Upper Lip, nor for not being. It's all fine.

After a week where I've spent half of it in tears, struggling through norovirus hitting whole household inc me, and sh**ty argument with an old friend, I'm in need of so shall leave some out. I think I'm over the worst of it now, which is good.

Amber, poor you! I had no idea you'd got norovirus. Grim indeed. And a row too? sounds essential. Is your son home from Uni yet? Hope he hasn't got the bug too.

Yup, FineLad got it too, as did dh and dsis
Ooo look, more !!!
'evening all.

blimey, am glad this is just a virtual chat!

Pen sorry you got shitty news today , glad it's one of the more controllable ones though .
Definitely give the GP a ring tomorrow , work will still be there when you are ready to go back .
You need a few days for the news to sink in .
Be kind to yourself , and hang out here as much as you want to .

Ned big gentle squeezes to you .
You are not being self indulgent , you need to be kind to yourself too .

Mas good luck with your Onc tomorrow .

Night night everyone .

Pen - I'm sure the GP will sign you off, they are usually very good about such things, and the emotional impact of cancer is taken a seriously as the physical side.
You need some time to gather your thoughts, time off is a good idea.

Amber - about norovirus - poor you, it sounds horrible. And about row with your friend - hope you can get that sorted out soon.

Smee - I might be able to put the dancing up tomorrow or next day, - apparently the powers that be at DH's work, deemed it 'offensive' after a complaint was made by someone, so some judicious editing has been taking place.

Good luck at the onc. tomorrow MAS - hope all goes well.

night night topsykins

pen really sorry to hear your news, do ask for a sicknote of you need one as kk said.
Funny day here. Got phone call saying I was to be offered that job I went for! But need to negotiate as want to appoint at bottom of scale which is pay cut... but better prospects. Awards evening for dd1 so late home. Nnight, yawn...

I'll put a on?

Please - been up since 4 so need ...

That's good about job jchoc although how much of an issue is the pay scale.

well the apocalypse hasn't happened yet !
Hope you can get your time off booked pen - am sure they will agree it's a good plan.

Thanks for the messages. Now I am thinking about going into work for the 3 weeks before surgery as it will make the time to quicker and I don't feel unwell just upset and worried.

I am due to work 27 th and 28 th and it will be quiet at work so I will go in and see how I get on.

Would it be unreasonable of me to ask my managers for no sympathy or discussion about it ? I am ok until someone is sympathetic.

Can I ask how to deal with the nights ? I lay awake last night worrying and the realisation that I will have to live without my thyroid for life is sinking in. What can I do to stop the thoughts that are unbearable at night ! I don't really want medication to sleep as I hate taking meds (ironic)

Mas will be able to give you tips on visualisation techniques . They should help you clear your mind and help you with getting some sleep Pen

Although realistically , you aren't going to relax till you have fully taken in what is happening to you .
We were/are all the same .
You almost have to go through a grieving process for the life you thought you were going to have , before you can accept your new life .

As the ever wise Amber once put it "welcome to the new normal"