Calling all Raggedies - the THIRD Ragged Bits thread. Childbirth injuries, sphincter problems, fistulae... all welcome.

[Jacksmania]

First thread here, May 2008 to June 2009.

Second thread here, June 2009 to Oct 2012.

Welcome everyone with ragged bits due to childbirth. We're sorry you had to find us, but we promise to hold your hand and listen.

There is no TMI here and nothing is too gross, too embarrassing or too horrible.

All welcome.

Thanks cravingcake. I have had problems with PTSD and depression and am currently having counselling. I saw in your previous posts that you have had problems being in the same position as giving birth and this has also been a big problem for me (flashbacks etc.). I also see you have gone on to have another baby - congratulations! Obviously these things must be possible ... I'm not sure if I will have another baby or not. I think I might be too scared to go through childbirth again as I know my problems are not even considered that bad - they seem pretty horrific to me and I am terrified that something even worse would happen next time. Anyway, given that I'm single, not something for me to worry about just now. My GP previously referred me back to the hospital to see the consultant obstetrician. I didn't feel able to let her examine me. She said there was nothing that she could do in that case and that the scarring probably wouldn't be so bad if I'd got back to a normal sex life promptly as that helps scars heal. Didn't make me feel fantastic I must say. The far more helpful gynacologist who I saw recently said she didn't think that would have made much difference either way. Hope things are going well with you and your little family

I had my hospital appt today. They don't think there's anything wrong inside but couldn't give me a reason it hasn't healed. I have been prescribed oestrogen cream.

Hi artyone how crap! Can you go back to your GP and ask to see a different consultant at a different hospital for a second opinion? Really don't know what else to suggest sorry.

Idrather yes it is possible to go on to have another baby but that should not be your priority now. My DD is almost 6 months old now and because I was able to have an ELCS I now feel so so lucky to know just how 'easy' birth can be, and really appreciate just how shit it was with my DS. Before I was even pregnant with my DS I actually had hypnosis therapy (for long term depression that I just couldn't quite shake and to stop biting my nails - it worked overnight with just 3 sessions). Part of the hypnosis therapy was relaxation exercises and you create a safe place within your mind (like an enclosed garden with blue sky and you can control what comes in or out - clouds for example can just be 'blown' away) which I used when in a difficult position i.e. flat on back having an examination and that really helped me. This could be worth you trying so that you can at least get to the stage where you can be examined. That sounds a bit woo now I've read that back but don't write it off.

For me it was my determination that I wanted a second child so badly and as my body had been damaged anyway the mental side of it was the biggest thing to begin with, and during the last trimester of pregnancy was when I really suffered physically but now most of that discomfort is a distant memory. However, I do now have a significant bladder prolapse (made worse from second pregnancy) and a small bowel prolapse which requires surgery to fix and I'm currently researching all my options before deciding what I'm going to do.

Hi all, I'm after some advice please, I had a posterior and anterior repair a week ago. (18 months post horrendous forceps delivery)
My main symptoms before repair were constant urinary urgency and the rectocele made me feel like my innards were falling out!!
I know I'm only 1 week post op but my bladder is worse than before the op, also had a bit of a sneezing fit today and the movement in my pelvic floor is exactly the same!!! I'm mortified. Has my op not worked? Has anyone had the same op? Can you give me any advice?

Hi Impala77 really sorry to hear that things haven't improved after your operation. I have no medical knowledge at all but maybe there is swelling and bruising which could be causing some of the problem.

Only real advice I can offer is to speak to your consultant/surgeon to find out exactly what was done and if this is normal. Hopefully some of the other regulars will be able help you more. I'm facing bladder & bowel prolapse surgery at some point soon and this is one of my biggest fears so you are not alone.

Hi,

Welcome to all newcomers, although, as ever, so sorry that you needed to find us. unfortunately, have to be short today - DD is off nursery and is being 'exuberant' .

tea - I wondered it if was you!!! Absolutely delighted for you! Congratulations! .

serenity Don't know, but it doesn't seem at all like a trivial concern. Is it definitely the perineal skin that tears? Has anyone ever offered an explanation for why this happens? Do you have normal muscle structure under the skin, or is thin also thin? A tear to the skin layer only during birth wouldn't necessarily concern me that much, it's when it goes into the muscle layers underneath that it can all go to pot. If you also have thinner muscle layers, that might make you more prone to tearing. Although it is also how much the tissues stretch. If your perineal skin tears when you have a poo, then you might be less stretchy than normal? Has anyone suggested this is the case? I think this is all quite reasonable to discuss with a HCP - even before getting pregnant.

arty - I'm sorry . Lumps can take AGES (months) to go down. And it can take a long time for scar tissue (including internal) to soften and ease and not be so hard. It's good they haven't found anything untoward. It takes me a long time to heal down there as well. My last op was quite a small one towards the end of March. The skin is still sore to the touch. I think it just takes some people longer. Sorry that's not much help! Do you have a follow up appointment, or a plan of action if things continue to not be right?

Idrather. You poor thing . I know, as do so many of us here, what it feels like to feel that you are now 'deformed' and your body has been 'ruined'. Have you had a look down there? Things may not be as bad as you imagine. If they have and you are, can you identify what it is that is wrong? Particularly if there are hard bits of scar tissue, or things like tags of skin that catch on things, you should be able to request a small operation to put it right. You said that someone said if you had had sex sooner then that would have helped with the scar tissue. How helpful. Not. There are things you can do to help stretch it and soften scarring out internally. I've used these on the advice of my gynae physio:

www.amazon.co.uk/Femmax-Vaginal-Dilator-Set-Instructional/dp/B006TDPXFE/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1405084661&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=fammax+dialtors

They have been really good and have helped me a lot.

As for the PTSD - not surprised! Was also left with PTSD after the birth of DD and having to navigate through the health problems I was left with. Glad you are getting counselling. You can get specialist counselling for PTSD (EMDR). So if this is not what you are having right now, and you don;t feel what you are getting is helping, this might be something to consider.

And NONE of this is your fault!! I've also been through the whole blaming myself scenario. Part and parcel of PTSD. NOT YOUR FAULT .

Impala 1 week post surgery is very very early days. Things are swollen, traumatised, your whole body down there is freaking out and probably can't remember how to work properly. What you experience now is very unlikely to be what you are going to end up with!
That said, did they do urodynamic testing prior to surgery? What were the results? If the results were negative, what explanation did they give for your urinary incontinence? What sort of repair to the anterior did they do? Vaginal wall repair plus TVT? Colposuspension?

I didn't have any urinary incontinence, just constant urgency. Urodynamics was normal other than showing a slightly abnormal flowrate. The surgeon said she did a small tuck on anterior and a larger tuck on posterior, no tvt. She did however mention surgery to the bladder neck? Don't know what that means. My problem at the moment is diarrhoea, on day 4 of it and awful trapped wind. Am hoping it's down to the anti biotics.

Sorry - misread your post! Although constant urgency is kind of one step away from actual incontinence. Surgery to the bladder neck could have been to tighten and lift it up slightly? So sorry about the diarrhoea. And trapped wind . Must be awful at the moment. Could well be the antibiotics - are you still on them? Maybe give the ward a ring and let them know?

I take the last tablet tomorrow. I rang doctor today but couldn't get to see anyone. If it's not stopped by Monday I will go and see someone.
Knew it would be hard, but it's harder than I thought, just sitting around all day is sooooo boring, plus I hate having to rely on other people. I just hope it ends up being worthwhile.

Feeling fed up. Still undiagnosed as apparently bleeding from back during period is normal and have had watery stool come through the front. Also worried as I have a cough and I know my pf is weak, my cervix I can feel about 2inches in and don.t want it to fall further. Feel really alone. Went for a coffee with friends and she decided to tell a 'hilarious' story of a lady who came to a restaurant she works at pooing herself. I wanted my chair to swallow me up. Whilst this hasn.t happened to me, it is my worst fear and I.d tried to convince myself people wudn.t be horrid about such an unfortunate thing.

I'm so sorry kianaidan. I know what it is like to feel so alone.

Have they considered endometriosis? That's the only reasonable explanation I can think of for bleeding from the back during your period. If they said it is 'normal' did they give any explanation for the mechanism as to how this is physically possible, where the blood originates from, and how it exits the body this way and not vaginally.

I can't remember all the details of who you have seen (and my nexus is making it hard to search back), but are you actually under the care of a urogynae surgeon who specialises in pelvic floor reconstruction? I know you have seen colorectal, but it strikes me this may not be the most helpful for you as your main HCP in this.

A cervix 2 inches inside might be OK. A 'healthy' uterus post childbirth is a bit lower than pre kids. And it's all a bit more mobile and apparently the cervix moves up and down quite a bit according to the menstrual cycle. I used to panic like mad about this (I've had a uterine prolapse repair and was terrified it was failing), but my surgeon told me what I was feeling was fine. Have you been told you have uterine prolapse?

As for your friend. That's horrible. I've had similar 'jokes' told in my presence. It hurts, and I felt like a freak.

Big hugs. Xx

How are you feeling impala?

Thanks cardom - I.m pretty sure I have a small fistula as have vaginal gas also and have had one bout of watery stool come through the front. I haven.t been told I have uterus prolapse no but I do have a weak pf. I just have to now await results of mri.

Now 17 days post op, urinary problems are just as bad as before op (if not a tad worse) still got the "coming out" feeling too just as I had pre op. Starting to think it's actually my uterus that's prolapsed, and will be extremely pissed if they've fixed the rectocele and cystocele but left the uterus prolapse. I asked before the op for a hysterectomy as I'm done having kids and my periods are awful, but was told "Oh no you're much too young for that" but surely if they've missed a prolapsed uterus I'll have to have more surgery!!!! I could cry.

kianaidan . When do you get the MRI results?

impala - 17 days is still pretty early - you have loads of swelling and things will be feeling really messed about with. In short, what you feel now may very well not be what you are going to end up with so, as bloody hard as it is, try not to panic. I've still felt things 'coming out' at this stage post surgery (and even later than you are). It's been swelling. Plus nerves firing off all over the place. Similarly, the urinary problems may also just be because everything has been so messed about with. Did they do urodynamic testing prior to surgery?
I guess though, there is always the possibility of uterine prolapse. Although it would be unusual for it to show up so quickly after these surgeries if there was no suggestion of prolapse beforehand. (Plus the swelling I mentioned would still be holding things back.) I've had similar things happen - fixing one lot of prolapse has then created the space for other things to collapse. They are right though - you want to avoid hysterectomy if you possibly can. The uterus acts as a support structure for the vagina - it's what the vagina holds itself up with. So if that goes, you increase your risk of vaginal prolapse, and you already know you are prone to that. But if your periods are utterly debilitating and nothing else has helped, it might still be something you'd be open to.

When is your post-op check?

Hang in there. This post-surgery phase is horrible. You feel like shit. It hurts like hell. You're terrified it didn't work. You're terrified something else has gone wrong. And it's all hidden inside, so you can't see to reassure yourself. Been there. Offering some hand holding. XX

Cardamomginger thanks for that advice.
Yes I had urodynamics done, it showed nothing other than a slow on / off flow rate. Was put on pills for overactive bladder which do help but not significantly. I first went to see gynae because i couldn't use tampons after having my baby as i couldn't get them in as something was in the way, I had a quick feel and thought it was my cervix. My cervix pre baby was always very high. However the doctors kept saying my uterus wasn't prolapsed, I have read however that's it's very rare to have bowel and bladder prolapse without uterine prolapse, so I can't understand if they didn't check for that during surgery.
My follow up is 27 August. I rang hospital with my concerns and they advised going to gp so I'm going tomorrow.

Try not to panic. If urodynamics didn't show anything, then chances are it's just post surgery stuff. Which meds were you on? I was on tolteradine. It takes a while to work and you need to be on them for around 6 months.

I'd be surprised if they didn't check for uterine prolapse during surgery - they have tilting tables so they can see the effects of gravity. But sometimes a new prolapse just doesn't show until a while after surgery. My cervix was also very high pre-baby and I used to really panic when it seemed much lower (even after repair surgery). Apparently this is normal. post baby it's just lower and a certain amount of movement up and down during your menstrual cycle is usual. Really try not to panic. Good luck tomorrow.

They didn.t tell me Cardom - sending it on to colorectal and I wait to hear from them.

I'm on regurin have been for over a year, hence I expected urinary stuff to be same or better post op not worse! Off to doctor now so we'll see what he says.

Been doctor and he dipped my urine and of the 4 things they check I'm positive for 3!! So back on antibiotics. He says according to the letter he got from hospital they did nothing regarding a prolapsed uterus, he said I'll have to voice my concerns at my review in 6 weeks.

infection can be so common after surgery. Fingers crossed the abx clear it quickly and you feel much better. X

infection can be so common after surgery. Fingers crossed the abx clear it quickly and you feel much better. X

Hope so thanks

cardamomginger I have to call the consultant if the cream doesn't work. I'm 3 weeks into using it now and it hasn't improved anything but I have another week to go. Getting a bit fed up as the area keeps swelling up and bleeding and whilst I know that these things can take a while to heal, it can't be right surely? I'd like to be able to have sex without it hurting :( I think i'll call in a week and see what they want to do next, if anything.

Hello, I am new to this, hope I am posting in the right place... this is my 4th attempt :)

Long story short I had a 3b tear after the traumatic birth of my boy 5.5 months ago. Physio hasn't worked and saw a colorectal surgeon this week but I have had so many referrals feel like I am getting nowhere.

Main problems are urge incontinence, flatulence and muscle spasm with a lot of pain, apparently the problems should have settled down by now but they haven't. I couldn't imagine trying to have sex.

Could anybody who has had similar ongoing problems help with some advice on when they finally healed (if ever) and how? Don't need to know birth story just the after care bit. I am under the impression the nerves and muscles etc should have healed by now. I don't want to be like this forever, some days I am scared to leave the house.

Thank you in advance :)