where the bloomin heck is my period

[Actuallylookingok]

Ok, i'm 39. Last period was fading off then came back as deep red loss for another 7 days. This period was due a week ago and hssn't arrived though i feel very premenstrually (new word)

Had one session of unprotected sex on the day before last period arrived. Please tell me there is no way i could be pregnant and this is some fun perimenopausal symptom?

It's a fun perimenopause symptom. Or pregnancy symptom

Hmmm...i sort of assumed that the bleeding part meant pregnancy wasnt an option, but am just the sort of lucky person who would be the exception! Tried a test 2 days ago and it was negative, but still no period.