Tell me the truth - can your pelvic floor ever be as good as it was before?

[GetDownYouWillFall]

My DD is 4, nearly 5 now, and during her birth I had horrific pelvic floor damage, resulting in bad urinary incontinence. I worked hard on the pelvic floor exercises and regained some control, but not enough to not wet myself with light running, sneezing, laughing etc.

Had my DS a year ago and got referred to a physio afterwards. I was really disappointed. Had a humiliating appointment where she put her finger into my vagina and then made me cough to wet myself , then sent me away with the advice "do your pelvic floor exercises" (which I had been anyway)

The last month I have made a real concerted effort with the exercises, and I can feel the muscles are stronger, but I still leak. Whenever I leak I get so discouraged and wonder whether it is worth carrying on with the exercises.

I guess what I'm asking is: Is it ever going to be fully better, or do I just have to resign myself that I will always leak?

Nope. Sorry.
You may be able to improve though, on where you are now, it will take longer than a month. Are you still breastfeeding as that can delay improvement.
Also are you certain you are doing them correctly? I had a physio who was ruthless but showed me exactly what I was doing wrong.

Thanks for replying secretsquirrels .. Am a bit gutted TBH, but probably knew that it will never be the same again.

I've just got this lingering fear that there is some more sinister damage going on in my case, because no matter how much I do the exercises (it's been over a long time, since my DD was born) there is never much improvement in terms of leakage. It's like the muscle has been really stretched and is sagging?? But I know I'd never be offered surgery unless I could prove the exercises weren't doing anything.

The physio said I was doing them correctly. I found her really humiliating and not very sympathetic, just couldn't face going back to her again. She wanted me to keep a record of everything I drank (in milliletres!) and everything I peed (also in bloody milliletres), with two small children it was impossible.

Interesting you mention breastfeeding, as yes I am still breastfeeding.... I wonder how this can delay improvement??

Thanks natasha yes I have one of those electronic things, cost me over £70 and didn't seem to make much difference.

Yes the physio was a specialist in women's continence issues.

A friend of mine is having an operation because hers is in the same shape as yours (from how you describe it). She's in Canada and it's covered by the public health care system there. If you have been referred to a physio, presumably you need more help than just the standard 'do your exercises' advice, which a GP could give you. It is not to be expected to have minor incontinence for the rest of your life and you shouldn't be fobbed off like this. Don't resign yourself to anything - keep pushing, get other opinions. Do you have any private insurance? Could you get referred to a gynaecologist?

It's to do with the hormones that BF produces. I don't know the medical detail but when I first saw a physio for help DS2 was 6 months old and I was still BF and the physio said that I would see an improvement when I had finished BFing.If you google it there are some explanations.
I was offered surgery but with two small children wasn't willing to risk it.