how the heck do I support DH tomorrow if the consultant tells him he has cancer?

[MrsShrek3]

sigh. just that. DH has Big lump in neck. Various doctors, registrars and pathologists looking very worried and saying he "should have been told more". Appointment with his own consultant tomorrow afternoon. Worried sick, but wtf do I do to help him? He doesn't want me to go with him, he;d rather I keep the children with me.

Fwiw DH has done a no2 cut for the same reason. which makes no odds since he only had no4 before Otherwise he wants someone to carry a personal vacuum round to get rid of moulting headfuzz

OOOooooo, there's an idea... how about one of these?

this one might be more to his taste...

Perfect
Just don't tell him He's threatened to carry his car-vac. More bad taste humour but it's keeping us going.

Black humour in abundance available here (legacy of working in the NHS)

essential. And you know how we roll

If you head up to my way, happy to join for a spa
Don't forget to apply for DLA for dh.
Also if you find his clothes start to need replacing, more heating ect there is a Macmillan grant. Think you can only apply once but well worth a look. We had one early on, made a difference.

Finding out abt benefit things on thurs. Thanks for heads up :) hes on ssp and might be able to apply for carers for ds1, ironically
He didn't think he could get DLA for him, that said he's had the condition for 3mths and is having 6mths treatment. He's not needing too much assistance atm except I'm sorting all his meds and food, and doing all the shopping etc where normally I wouldn't be doing that. He'd feel a fraud applying I think... might have to look a bit further into it.

Phone them up for the form anyway, if he can get it they start paying as soon as the form's sent out. The nurses at the hospital can help you fill it in if you need them to. Keep a diary of all of the things that you're doing, even making cups of tea. Does he need ferrying to the hospital? Like a child's DLA application, it all mounts up.

Sending you my love.

Yes, taking him everywhere wish hospital carparks weren't so effing expensive tho and I need a carpark pass and a space with me name on

I think that you can get help with the carparking charges in some hospitals, so it may be good to ask them. It's a tax on the sick, that's what that is. Bastards. Ask them to give you something while you're waiting. Entenox is good stuff!

just found this thread again
I've sent off for the DLA form for dh. He's been ill for 8 months now...don't know why we didn't do it before really.

Do it Corny. Really hope you get it for him. We have arranged a "finance check" at the carers centre - well DHs nurse prac arranged it for us. Things going to get sticky money-wise so trying to get ahead. (corny if you haven't already had similar, please try and get it!)

Thanks Mrs shrek - haven't been offered a finance check. dh keeps saying we're fine, but I don't know what I'll do about my job if I need to take time off to care for him. He's needed a lot of caring for all summer but luckily I've been off anyway (phew). Have you thought about work at all - what will you do?

Like you, thank f€ck for the summer holidays. Am now planning to go back for the new term and hope for the best.

I suppose that's all we can do really! I have found that working takes my mind off things so it can be a blessing in disguise. Are you f/t or p/t?

Glad to see you are maintaining your sense of humour and MrShrek is feeling a little better.

Have you checked with your nurse co-ordinator at the hospital re parking charges? I jokingly asked for a season ticket for the car park and was given one. It mean't that we only had to make a one off payment of £1.50 (ie, the first hour parking) each week. That was at Maidstone hospital, but it might be worth asking if they run a similar scheme where you are.

carparking we get a special cancer rate (yes, really) which you get £1 tokens for whole day parking (as opposed to £8) at the hospital I get my treatment. We prepay for a few at a time and always have a spare one in case of emergency dash. Local hospital rules are similar but you have to prepay in multiples of £7 and I rarely have to go again. Definitely worth asking, they don't always remember to tell you.
lisad do you have experience of DLA for chemotherapy? I am very out of date on the rules but asked about it at the cancer centre but the volunteer adviser sad no way. She really has no idea how little I can do when really crook!

We dont get dla for dh as his treatment is ongoing and so not as intensive as to need it iyswim. I would apply for mrshrek and see how it goes. They always say base it on his worse days. Some get it some don't

well I'm utterly about the DLA thing and obviously not alone in that

Crappola day today and he went to bed at 8 after doing absolutely buggerall during the day Hope his counts are good enough on Monday. Fingers and everything else crossed then.

Can you get help filling in the DLA form, MrsS? That's the best option if you can manage it.

Hope MrS's counts are ok on Monday too. Try and get some sleep though. :)

Hello :) I've been lurking a lot bit and thought that I'd mention that you might be able to apply for a blue badge whilst the C is being treated. Your nurse should be able to advise you on it.
All the best.x

solo a blue badge is only for people on higher mobility component of DLA ro who are permanently and severely disabled (or amptees or blind etc) so don't think chemo will allow it. i checked website cos i thought of it too

I'm not sure, but I know my Dad got one when he had Cancer; he was terminal though, so I don't know if that made a difference.

I'm guessing that it will have gone the way of many things in the last couple of years, Solo - you'd need to be completely incapable of anything to be eligible for a blue badge now. :(