how the heck do I support DH tomorrow if the consultant tells him he has cancer?

[MrsShrek3]

sigh. just that. DH has Big lump in neck. Various doctors, registrars and pathologists looking very worried and saying he "should have been told more". Appointment with his own consultant tomorrow afternoon. Worried sick, but wtf do I do to help him? He doesn't want me to go with him, he;d rather I keep the children with me.

I was going to mention the dreadful nausea, but TheSweetestThing got it all covered

Wishing MrShrek a very speedy recovery xx

Great Just been re-reading. Another big thank you to every single one of you who has posted here. The amount of info is incredible, thank you!
If I start feeling isolated and worried, I just get here: the not-feeling-alone-ness is immense :) The amount of good wishes and brilliant tips amazes me. You're clever, you lot. You can't begin to imagine how much help this is. Just been reading stuff to Himself, he's looking impressed. 2-0 to MN

and hugs to you and your family x

Really glad to hear that his first appointment went ok and he is not feeling too rough.

It's surprising how quickly you get into the 'swing' of all the meds and appointments. You take it all one day at a time, because you have to!

I am very very sorry to hear that your DH is going through this Mrs Shrek.I don't thankfully know anything about cancer treatment but I just wanted to send you both virtual flowers xxxxxx

Thanku post

And so true Mrsfred we've suddenly got a new way of life and are becoming experts on stuff we'd never heard of a month ago

MrsShrek can I lurk on your thread? Last week my DH was diagnosed with stomach cancer which has spread to his liver. We saw the oncologist yesterday and the outlook is pretty gloomy. I too feel very alone, frightened and confused. Reading your thread has helped a little today. Do you mind?

Hopefully the time will go by quickly and you'll look back and wonder if it all really happened!
Don't know if this advice is any help for you yourself rather than your DH, but I had one day during my treatment where I just felt absolutely fed up. I sat around/lay around the whole day even though I could have been doing bits and pieces of things. (I was unexpectedly on my own that day). The next day I woke up still feeling fed up of the whole sorry business and sorry for myself until it struck me all of a sudden that if I continued to mope about I was going to have a very poor few months and honestly, after that realisation it all seemed better.
On the other hand,I found that getting my meds and a cup of tea in bed made it possible to get up at a normal time and get going.

oh Daisy, have a ((hug)) it's such a crap place to be. It feels pretty helpless at times. I spent most of the first week crying then decided to do a day at a time, like all the lovely folks on here said. It's better that way.

BTW I've quoted you lot about twenty times at least today already. So much wisdom. awesome. Sorry I'm not naming names, there has been an absolute gem from every person who's posted on this thread. So just another big thank you all :)

So sorry Daisy :(
Have you just had the one appointment?
Things aren't always as they seem at first. Has your DH had CT and MRI scans?
Push for treatment as soon as possible.
Your DH has been dealt a rubbish card. I'll be thinking about your DH, you and the OP.

for all having a crap time with health issues

Daisy (hug) sorry to hear your news.

Mrs Shrek Glad to hear things are going OK.

Very sorry to hear your news as well, Daisy - have some and a ((hug)) too. Hope they can do something for your DH.

Glad that you're finding the thread helpful, MrsShrek - you vent away on here whenever you need to. ((hugs)) xx

We have had a bit of a fast, rocky road tbh.

I had to call an ambulance at the beginning ish of the month because DH had serious chest and shoulder pains. He was diagnosed with pulmonary emboli - but was also anaemic. It was his second admission in about 3 weeks for this pain and they were most worried that in that time he'd moved from borderline anaemia to anaemic. And apparently in a man, anaemia without an accident pretty much guarantees internal bleeding, and multiple pulmonary emboli is a side effect of cancer. I wish I'd known that.

So they scanned beyond his chest until they found out why. Within 24 hours of admission we were told that the scan had found a tumour in his stomach, marks on his liver and a mass between his stomach and his pancreas. A biopsy followed and the day before yesterday we met with the oncologist. As far as I know he hasn't had a full CT or MRI scan. He's had a CTRA (I think) scan and a chest xray.

I am too scared to start a thread of my own, but I don't want to hi-jack Mrs Shrek's either. I think I might be a bit of a mess!

And thank you for all your kind thoughts. They do help.

Oh daisy. :( Prayers for you and your family. xx

So so sorry you have to deal with this. Cancer is a shitty shitty beast and seems to happen to the nicest people :( We went through it with MIL several times (breast) and my heart broke for her.
So much good advice on this thread I can't add anything other than you are SO not alone.
Thinking of you and Daisy too xx

MrsShrek, hope you are all having a good-ish weekend .

daisydot, sorry to hear what you are going through.
Do start your own thread, if for no other reason than to vent.
Although all cancers are bastards, everybody's illness IS different, no doubt you and your DH will face similar and different challenges from the Shreks.
Much love x.

weekend ok so far thanks PD :)
But my oh my he's grumpy. He's just shouted at dd who was making very stupid noises and has no tolerance whatsoever.
Bought two big rolls of parcel tape today. Start with the dc or the dh?

Does your DH get steroids?
If so, he will hopefully begin to tolerate them. Do you think he's worried about himself (if that's not a stupid question?)

yes he's on 20 tiny little revolting steriod pills a day (wtf?! Why can't they make 100mg or is it mcg in one tab?)
Tolerate the children or the meds [fick] Then again, both would be good
He's a grumpy git because he's so tired. Tiredness being part of the territory obv - cancer makes you tired, his counts are about to drop making him anaemic (=tired) and he's not sleeping well. So all in all we really need to get him a good sleep. And I haven't a clue how. No way he needs more pills.

The steroids certainly don't make for getting to sleep! This might be completely wrong, but can he avoid taking them after dinner time?
Hope he gets a good sleep soon. Would he be allowed to take melatonin supplements (to help him sleep)? I found them helpful (maybe a placebo effect!) and my consultant was okay about it.

Oooh. Will find out! Thank you for yet more tips

try these for a natural source of melatonin - the anti-oxidants that they contain may be beneficial as well. :)