Back to work anxieties after a period of illness, getting worked up about it tbh.

[tightwad]

Been off for about 7 weeks and due to go back to work next week.

Apart from anything, my job is very stressful, pressured and full on, after ive been off i will have a big backlog and the more i try to think of prioritorising work, the more stressed im getting as its all vital, nothing is less important than anything else.

I went to occi health last week, and they were asking me about my role. When i explained, it was documented that i feltit was too much for one person. I think a job share would help.

Now i think that they will think i cant cope, and im rubbish...which i think they think anyway.

I need to get back to work, but God its hard trying to not panic.

just venting, sorry, ignore.

Are you happy when you're actually there? If not, I would seriously have a think about a career change.

Have you discussed a phased return? Do you think it might help or would it just mean the same amount of worker with less time to do it?

OT are unlikely to think that you are 'rubbish'. IME they are often keener to get you a down-soft landing than you are.

My job has always been the light of my life. Ive loved it for 20 years that ive been doing it.

I am ok when i am there, i become emersed in it, but i am constantly treading water, trying to keep what feels like 40 plates spinning all at once.

Planned return will be discussed when i go back nextw eek on my forst day back, i think its up to me. But yes, huge amount of backlog and work to do...in less time.
Sigh
I keep saying to myself "suck it up cup cake and get on with it!" But im not that convincing myself!!

I was in a similar position though perhaps not as busy at work I was off for 8 weeks. I was terrified about going back, things to sort out, amount of emails. Actually the anticipation was worse than the reality! I've gone back half days this week to break back in. Occ health are there to support you... Yes you have admitted you're stressed but that's ok - bet you're not the first or last!
I would say to your boss 'my first day back I need to simply go through my emails and plan my work load' to give you space to do that if you can.
Now memorise this brilliant quote: Reality is kinder than the stories we tell ourselves about it :)