23rd **TAMOXIFEN** thread

[MaryAnnSingleton]

oh my !

mas yea for being discharged :)
ned, my gp refused to sign me as fit for work straight after rads, so I took a holiday :) Watching the end of Lewis then off to bed. Night night.

Wishing everyone luck with any appointments or treatment tomorrow (can't post tomorrow as I'm out all day)

Off to bed in a minute having watched Lewis (mainly for the purpose of gawping at Laurence Fox).

I've done a picture of a peacock's feather (sort of abstracty, lots of colour) and a large seashell (similar style - I like using lots of vibrant colour) I'm doing a lot of oil pastels at the moment, - its a good excuse to get very messy
I make no claims to being any good at art, but I have fun and find it very relaxing.

Sometimes if you are able to get t'internet I hospital, I hope everything went well and you are nicely topped up with painkillers.

Silver Jubilee of our thread is pretty impressive - maybe we should reflect it in our next thread title - or have a street party (I'll make a quiche and a trifle)

Hi all

sorry I havent' replied to anyone but have been lurking. Been having a meltdown tonight as get results in morning. F*king terrified and as you can see I can't sleep. This bone spot is also weighing on mind but haven't has scan yet so putting that to oneside so I can just deal with all biop and mammorgraphy results at moment.
The reality is kicking in too as may well be starting chemo next week but I'm sure I'll know more tomorrow. Also telling my DS is getting closer in next day or so so that''s going to make it seem more real. But I think I will feel better once it's out with him and i dont feel like i am keeping a secret.

1step I ordering wig online from ebay. It was nice colour etc but had fringe and didn't really suit. there is a wig shop just out of town for me so may go there with DH tomorrow depending how I feel.
Love to all x

loads of good thoughts to you snoopy for today's results
Oil pastels sound great kk -seashell & peacock's feather good subjects,lots of iridescence.
Glad you are feeling a bit better greylady @ silver jubilee thread ! would that be our 24th or 25th thread ?

Major anxiety dream last night- -very unsettling and woke up with a headache- I suspect it's the thought of the plumber as i cope very badly with these things,also trying to fit work in makes me anxious. Bah.

Snoopy thinking of you this morning.
kk peacocks are one of my favorite subjects for batik - love the colours :)
mas good luck with coping with the plumber.

snoopy good luck. Loads of tests for me today .

mas hope you get tap sorted and feel a bit easier.

greylady hope you are feeling better.

Hello everyone else

loads of good thoughts to gig xxx It must seem pretty silly of me to fret about taps when you are going through so much more- I am afraid I cope very badly when things aren't in my control -anyway, very nice plumber came and said it would need replacing as smee warned -so have chosen one,not quite as beautiful but nice which they've ordered. Feel more calm now.

Good morning everyone

snoopy, good luck with results today.

gig, hope your tests go ok today.

Was Lewis good? I missed it last night because my mum and dad came round for dinner. I will have to catch up with it soon.

Good luck to snoopy and gig for today's results/tests.

Kurri - I like the sound of your paintings. I know what you mean about it being relaxing, I used to make cards and found it very therapeutic. Just don't have the time or space for it since youngest dc was born, but would love to get back into it at some point.

MAS - glad you've got a new tap ordered and you're feeling more relaxed.

Had start date for chemo, not for 3 weeks but the good news is I can go to my local hospital. Got to go for new patient appt on Monday so they can go through side effects (again). Is it normal to feel so fearful of chemo or am I just being a wuss?

Morning to everyone else xx

hooray for your start date 1step and that you'll be at local hospital - perfectly normal to be anxious about chemo,not being a wuss at all

Hi all,new hospital has a new recommendation for treatment.Mil saw 2 breast consultants,another doc and nurse who were all fantastic and so different to that mean man last week.
They say to treat with letrozole(femera) for 3-6 months to shrink tumour then have lumpectomy with big margins to avoid going back.Then radio for aprox 3 weeks.She is a 44dd so plenty to work with but very uncomfortable they say, to only have 1.They think a mastectomy is needlessly radical and suspect she may need radio anyway.

other option is to have lumpectomy now ,then the tablets and radio.

She is so relieved to be treated by a lovely team.I think whichever she decides will be fine with them.

Did anyone do the tabs to shrink first?

She has a week to decide.
Hope your tests go ok gig.

ah,that sounds good 14K - would they /she consider a reduction on the other breast ?

Fucking tests- do your head in. Don't suppose I can hit the gin as god knows what that does to the results

14k glad your mil is feeling more confident. Dunno about bc but I do know that shrinking then operating is quite common for other types of cancer ESP where tumour is awkward to get at.

pushes fbs trolley towards gig

Popping on to wish everyone good luck with their appointments, etc. gigs no gin today what about a large bar of chocolate? Thinking of you.

snoopy thinking of you today, hope your appointment goes ok.

Still no word from topsy? Hope she is ok.

Sometimes hope you are nicely topped up with lots of lovely painkillers and starting to feel better.

Miserable day here today, rainy and horrible. My wig has had its first outing and boy am I glad to get it off. I had to wear it to the school run and then was due my smear test (oh joy my life just gets better) but I think I had it on too tight as I felt it was cutting off my circulation and gave me such a headache. I was paranoid that it was going to blow off . I was at a different doctor in the practice today and not sure if she was just being nice or not but when I told her about the wig she said she would never have known. Still feeling very wobbly about my scan but sure what can I do?

Afternoon all

gig sending you big hugs for strength during your tests. Hope all OK.

snoopy poor you. What news with results?

1step good to have plan at last. Great that you can hav chemo at your local hospital. Jeez it's completely fine to be terrified about the prospect of chemo. I was terrified about the thought of it, and actually the reality was nowhere near as bad as how I had built it up in my head. Keep ranting on here and ask questions and we can support you through it all. Big hugs x x x

gracie hang on in there. Well done for getting out in your wig. Can you adjust it so it's not so tight? take it easy my love. You've been though so much, just take every day as it comes.

MAS glad you've got your taps sorted. Hope plumber can come and fit it soon.

14k sounds positive for MIL then? So pleased that she feels good about the team looking after her. Must be a relief to you as well.

kurri picture sounds lovely. Hope you're pleased with how it's turned out.

Waving to smee, jchoc , greylady and anyone else around this afternoon. Having before the school run if anyone wants one?

waves to ned

Hi there and hugs to all .
Will be reading back through all the posts when I get a chance so apologies for any news I have missed .

Am still in hospital .
Just been brought down off ward for a chest X-ray . And going for a ct at some point too .
Bloods have shown different infection so they are changing my iv antibiotics today .

Was pretty sick yesterday and this morning . Consultant is apparently flummoxed as to how I have managed to clock up such a severe infection so quickly .
But they are keeping really on top of everything now , so I seem to be on the right track .

There was talk of me getting out tomorrow but that was before the new infection, so we shall see .

I hit my post op slump this morning and blubbed for an hour .
Think it actually did me lots of good as I feel a lot better now .

Again love to all and I will try and catch up as soon as I can x

I4k - pleased your MIL has a treatment plan and is happy with the team who will be looking after her.

Topsy - so sorry to hear you've had such a rough time. Hope the new antibiotics do their job and you're soon well enough to go home.

Gracie - well done on your first outing with your wig. Hope you can sort it out so it feels more comfortable though.

Ned - I feel sick just at the thought of chemo. Hoping Monday's info session might help. One thing you might be able to answer, do I have to stock up on things like Gaviscon, anti-diarrhoea, constipation meds, etc to cope with any side effects or do the hospital provide them?

1step my experience is that they didn't supply me with things until I needed them iyswim. So I didn't get any Difflam mouthwash for mouth ulcers until I actually got mouth ulcers in my second cycle.

I found the steroids and anti sickness meds made me constipated rather than the other way, but it hit me first over a weekend, so DH got me some lactulose over the counter and ive used that when i needed it. I know others have been given movicol for constipation by hospital, but not sure if that has to be requested or given as a matter of course.

Might make you feel a bit better if you've got a few basics in case you need them at night/ weekend. I think it would be one way of feeling a bit more in control. Remember that you can get free prescriptions so don't be afraid to ask your GP for anything you feel you need. make sure you've got a decent digital thermometer, cos you need to be able to keep a close eye on your temperature, as a raised temperature is the first warning sign of an infection that the hospital would want to know about. It's worth spending a bit on one if you can stretch to it - I had a cheap one which I didn't have a great deal of confidence in, so replaced it with a decent Braun one, which I feel much better about.
I bought this one

I felt incredibly sick before the chemo started too - but honestly, the reality is not so bad. Have you been told which chemo you are having? FEC, maybe? That's a common one. Or Docetaxol/ Taxotere? Let us know, and we should be able to give you specific experiences.

Hope all of that waffle helps a bit x

Waves back to MAS!!

Sending topsy lots of gentle hugs and fbs to aid recovery x x

Dropping by to see if we'd heard from Sometimes or Topsy. See Sometimes is still MIA - hope she's okay and not too sore.

Topsy, gentle (((((hugs)))) not surprised you had a blub, but rest up and let them spoil you. You'll soon be home. xx

Greylady, how are you today?? Hopefully getting better all the time.

Too late to say good luck, Snoopy but I really hope you had a good meeting with the best news you could hope for amidst it. Very tough those consults. Am thinking of you xx

You too, Gig. So many tests to get through. You must be exhausted apart from anything else.

1step, blimey yes, of course it's normal to be utterly terrified of chemo. Be scared with us. As Ned says the thought is worse than the reality. It's a slog to get through, but it's doable I promise.

Gracie, I think Figgy did the too-tight-wig thing too. I'd bet nice GP's right and it looks v.natural.

l4k, that's all sounding good for your MIL then. Great to hear she's reassured. I had op first, so haven't a clue about drugs first.

MAS, good that plumber's on the case. I don't think anyone should ever think it's silly putting domestic strife on here, as it's what makes this thread special. Were you as shocked as me by the price of taps??

Kurri how's the neck?? Painting sounds impressive - I doubt I could do anything which you'd even recognise...

Ned on your work question, I'd say take the time off. 4 weeks post treatment is when you need space to recover both physically and emotionally. At the very least you'll be exhausted. If you can afford to do it, take it. Use that time for you.

v.long post, but so much going on. Waving to anyone I've missed.

Hello

Ok the results from this morning:

Grade 3, Stage early, HER negative, not hormone sensitive.
Lymph nodes = not affected but slight thickening of one, may be disease may not.
Only 1 lump now not 1 large and two small so spose they were always connected, size 21mm x 32 x 38mm.
FEC -D treatment with Taxotere, giving me extra anti-sickness meds and Lorazapam. (to help with sleep and anxiety!)

She said if chemo shrinks tumour then maybe possible to get away with Lumpectomy. But we'll wait and see. Think I would like to prepare for worst and anything less is a bonus.
I knew I would have Rads but didn't realise is I will have to have them everyday for 3/4 weeks! in Oxford. anyone else had that much?

Tomorrow PET CT scan for bone 1cm abnormal area, this takes 2.5hrs after injection and I will be radioactive and can't hug my son tomorrow night so sending him to grandma's. DH said I can just stand there and hold a microwave meal for us for dinner haha v funny not!

Mon pre chemo meet, wig fitting! Proper shop this time with 60% reduction on NHS.
Tue Picc line fitted Oxford and marker for inside location of lump
Wed - Chemo 11am aaarrgghh.

Actually I;m ok. Feel better. But still dreading bone thing and she said she'll phone me about that. I am too scared to look at any info on that.

Will talk to son later. DH told his teacher and head and she was v supportive.

What do you think of my results?

x

so sorry to not reply to you. I will have time on hands soon to get involved and get to know you all bit better. Hugs to everyone having crap time x