23rd **TAMOXIFEN** thread

[MaryAnnSingleton]

oh my !

Gig, I think you're more than allowed to play the health card.. What time are you seeing people today? I think they should change your sleeping tablets. Last thing you need is to feel sick.

Just flying through.

Happy 5th birthday little boy Gig, and big hugs and love to your mum.

1st - it is an awful shock, remember to not beat yourself up over all the emotions you will be having. We are all here for you, for hand holding and bfor sitting on paranoia box for you.

Ds's appt went quite well yesterday, well the only was up! No progress in terms of treatment, but he did acknolwedge that ds is subluxing Cervical spine, urinary incontinence is as a result of this, NO2 worked as a pain killer and should be used again, surgery is not an option unless sublux is lifethreatening, physio is our best defence and there are no other painkillers which can be used in the community, so we are as good as it gets. Hard to hear, hard to accept, but he explained eveything, agreed with my theories as to what was happening....so could get better than that. Chronic disease in children is a bad bad thing!

hugs to brave junior sparkle
Well done smee - am glad my PTA days are over -it was a thankless task.
Have been on a fruitless trip to Basingstoke in search of something to wear to lunch with friends as am thinking maybe I'd feel better with something new but there was bugger all I liked,which in a way is a bit of a relief so I didn't spend money ! I was pleased that I didn't panic buy something unsuitable or not useful though- I gazed longingly at some purple Converses,and the turquoise jeans in Gap weren't in my size. I did buy some birthday chocolates for the boy,2 Father's day cards,one for dh and one for my dad and some Fashion Targets Breast Cancer beaded bracelets and a very nice cappuccino from Caffe Nero.

Sparkle - sending hugs to you and your son, today's appointment must have been tough for both of you xx

I'm a little less emotional now, just very tired, but hopefully that might mean I sleep better tonight.

Afternoon all,

Happy fifth birthday for your little boy Gig, - I'm sure he is constantly in your thoughts, but birthdays are a tough time - candle lit and shining brightly for you both.

topsy - can't help with Tax, - I didn't have it, but good luck for next week and getting started (although I am guessing you would prefer to have a picc. line, so maybe I should say good luck for the following week).

Sparkle - I'm glad DS's appointment went reasonably well, - at least the consultant acknowledged you were right (don't know why they have trouble with accepting that a mother with a child with a chronic disease, is the expert on that child, - you see your little boy every day so have vastly more experience than consultant). How did DS cope with the appointment, was he OK about it all?

Sometimes - school bully sounds so horrible, and its been going on so long, your DD must be so fed up with it So hard to know what to do if the school aren't cracking down properly.

Good for you for doing the PTA Smee, - how is the ouzy wound today, have you still got the drain in?

Ned - hope you are feeling a bit perkier, but still getting plenty of rest, and lining up some nice relaxing things to enjoy while you are convalescing.

jane - enjoy Rabat

MAS - doughnuts is a lovely idea, NY trip will be so exciting for T. - something he'll always remember

1step - hospitals can be a bit insensitive with the words they use, but its good you managed to speak to bcn and bcc. It's awfully hard not to let your thoughts race all over the place, but if you can, try not to think beyond the next little bit, - deal with what you know, and try not to worry about and anticipate the don't knows. Lots of love and hugs for you.

I've been out to my keep fit group lunch today, I had warm asparagus salad with poached egg and hollandaise, Pithivier of goats cheese with walnut beetroot and watercress salad, and apricot bread and butter pudding. All very nice - I'm now sitting quietly feeling rather like Mr Creosote from Monty Python

Hi all,

Thought i would update on what's happening my end. I am sorry for not acknowledging personals but I can just about string a sentence together and as I don't know your histories I don't want to say something and stick my foot in it!
I had MRI bone, MRI boobs face down and CT scan on Wed this week at Oxford. All took 1.5hrs. had to shut eyes tight and think of well....nice things hehe.

Was shocked to get phone call from Onc yesterday with this news. what do you think?

CT scan -all clear (all organs and stuff)
MRI - Mammography results still waiting and biop still waiting.
MRI Bone - Whole body clear apart from a tiny 1cm abnormal spot on right pelvic bone.

Was in a bit of a state about this bone thing. And took me few hrs of people saying that's a good result to be convinced. she said do I want to go for a PET CT Scan for more detail on this abnormal bit. Or do you want to leave it to another time? Why would anyone want to leave it? So going for that.

Feel v lucky it's not in organs. All along there has been no lymph node problems mentioned. But spose I won't know for sure until I have all results back. Will be seeing onc next thurs with DH.

Can I have your thoughts ladies if your not busy.
x

Aaa agh !!!
Just had a call from my surgeons secretary . They have had a cancellation in her private clinic (fully nhs funded though) for my reduction surgery .
And it's tomorrow !!!
So I go into the private hospital tomorrow and come out on Sunday !
Eeeeeek , wish me luck !

blimey topsy that's very sudden !! wow ! loads of good thoughts to you - have you time to scoff extra fbs before ?
snoopy am sure those who know about scans will advise soon -sending you a hug x
kk lunch sounds delicious - are you sure you can't manage a waffer thin mint ?
Btw- I've been added to the Mumsnet Bloggers Network (preens)

Gosh - that's sudden topsy - good luck with it all, you've got a pretty busy week ahead!

Snoopy - the clear CT is a very good result, I don't know what the bone scan means, but I do know that scans show up all sort of little abnormalities of various kinds, which can be nothing to do with cancer.
I think, like you I would definitely go ahead with the PET scan, - you want to know what it is.
Have a good chat about it with your onc. on thursday and get him/her to explain exactly what it means (actually if you are struggling phone the oncologist and speak to him before that so you have more details of what he is thinking.)

lots of love - waiting to find out about stuff is horrible, and if you're anything like me, you always tend to think about worst case scenarios. But these scans are very thorough and show up everything, - I had several abnormalities on my CT scan but they turned out to be nothing to worry about.

MAS - I might just be able to squeeze a wafer thin mint in

Ooh, topsy. Wow. How extraordinary. What are you having done exactly, I can't remember. xx

Hi snoopy, was wondering how you were. Well done on getting through the scans. Big yay for clear CT, that is good news. Mighty annoying about the spot on the bone scan, but try not to panic, as those scans show all sorts. As I understand it, Bone Scans show hot spots, so if something shows it could be for all sorts of reasons, so arthritis for example. If (and it's still a v.big if) it does turn out to be cancer, well that's obviously not great, but it's far, far better than it being in the organs. Huge amount they can do for Bone Cancer. Seriously it's not the end if it is as it can be managed. I think you need a large glass of . Would that help? xx

Sparkle, glad you got awful Consult over and done with. Hope DS is okay. I'd bet he's relieved it's over. So sad they can't do more for him though. How are ducklings? Swimming yet?

MAS, is lunch tomorrow? Have a lovely time. I'd bet you will, though I know it's not without stress.

Kurri, I want that lunch. Sounds delicious. Have just eaten a bowl of cornflakes, as we have no food. DH going shopping later. I have made a rather indulgent list. .

Sorry Snoopy I posted my news before I read anyone else's .
The spot on your bone could be anything , don't necessarily presume its cancer related .
I think you are doing the right thing by having further scans and getting to the bottom of it .

Am having my remaining (g cup !) booby reduced in size to even me out a little .
So I have been rifling through my pj drawer trying to find pjs that are suitable for a private hospital !
Aside from the short notice it works out perfectly as its all over and done with at the weekend !

that's good topsy - none of my pyjamas actually match- assorted tops and bottoms
smee what's on your list ? Lunch is on Sunday -will report back !

good Luck Topsy!! Hurrah for symetrical boobies!! Have you had ms on one side already then?

Smee - Hope the weeping is stopping that sounds really uncomfortable.

Mas -enjoy your lunch! Talking about shopping, i think I'll use all this crap as a damn good excuse to generally pamper myself. DH has already suggested getting me an ipad to keep me entertained on chemo days -result. But knowing my luck the reception will be shite! (smile)

Excellent Topsy, we can compare symmetry.

Topsy - good luck for tomorrow, at least you haven't got time to worry about it!

Yy to mis matching pjs here too !
And to snoopy I had a left side mx and node clearence almost 1 year ago .
Surgeon wants me to wait 2/3 years for my reconstruction but in the mean time she will whack a load off my remaining (mahoosive) booby

Can i ask why do surgeons ask you to wait? Don't some have recontruction at same time?
I have heard that some like to wait because breast tissue can grow back a bit again.

Excellent to get on with your op without too much time to dwell on it! Presumably will delay chemo though? Hope it all goes swimmingly x x

snoopy good call to get a second scan, then you have the complete picture, whatever that picture might be. Sending you big hugs x x

MAS well done on the Bloggers Network. You definitely deserve it, and hopefully it will mean others will get to read what you write. I bought myself some custom designed Converses from the website over Easter - they are predominantly purple, and gorgeous.

smee hows your wound today? What's the next stage? When do you get stapled up, or did BCN do that after she brutally extracted your drain?!

kurri very of your tasty lunch. Bet it was delicious! Hope you have had a chance to sleep it off digest this afternoon.

Doing OK today, just a bit tired and a bit weepy. Everyone seems to think I am fully recovered and should be out and about, but I just don't really feel like it. Feel a bit sicky, SE of the antibiotics, possibly. Bleurgh. . .

snoopy - I'm (hopefully) having my reconstruction next year, which will be 4 and a half years after DX. - I was offered recon. at the same time as my mastectomy, but turned it down as I couldn't think beyond getting the cancer removed at that point.

Lots of people do have it done at the same time, but waiting has some things in its favour - radiotherapy can affect the type of reconstruction you can have, and at surgery stage you might not know if you need it. Also my plastic surgeon said that often ladies who wait tend to be happier with their results psychologically, - the reason being that you are going from no breast to a new breast, so it looks good. Whereas ladies who have it immediately go from having their own, to having a reconstructed breast, and obviously it's not the same as a real one. (Although the results I have seen have been very very good)

But a lot of it is down to your own personal decision, and the kind of treatment you will be having.

I'm not sure about breast tissue growing back again - I haven't heard of that, but it may well be true. You can certainly grow a lot of scar tissue after a mastectomy/lymph node clearance (as I know from experience ).

Hi Ned - take no notice of what anyone else may think. Only you know how you feel, it's not surprising you feel tired and emotional after what you've been through and now you've got SE of antibiotics to deal with as well. Hope you're soon feeling a bit brighter, but in the meantime just do what you want to do, even if that's just chilling out at home xx

Snoopy, all Surgeons seem to have their own way of doing things, but none (I think) will do any form of reconstruction other than a simple implant straight off, as Rads can damage the skin. I hadn't heard the theory on tissue regrowth, but that might well be true too.

When I had my first mastectomy back in 2010. Surgeon was quite pushy for me to have an implant at same time, as she said it would stretch the skin for rads and also she thought it less traumatic to wake with a bit of shape iyswim. Her take was why wouldn't you at least try it, as they're easy to take out. She was quite wise about children too, as she said it might be easier for my son (5 at the time), as my breast wouldn't look as radically different with an implant as it would have with just simple mastectomy. My Surgeon is hugely pragmatic about it all, so always said the initial implant wouldn't be permanent and that I'd have to have a few ops before she got it right. Sure enough she switched to silicone last October. I chose to have a preventative Mastectomy of the other breast at the same time, and have just had a third op to replace that expander implant with a silicone one. Blimey what a ramble, but hope that makes sense. Phew...

Ned, sorry you're feeling down. Not surprised though. Have a treat filled weekend. How's your DS. Bet he's pleased to have his mummy back. xx

MAS, I'm not at all surprised you're on the Bloggers bit of the site, but brilliant to hear you are. My shopping list had Jarlsburg, blueberry ice cream (because it's healthy!), olives, hummus, rye bread, chocolate (obviously) and have left dh to sort wine and a meal. mmmm...

Wound feels good today. Great not to have the pesky drain in place. Another 24 hours and I can shower.

Smee - apologies, I had missed the fact that a mad nurse had yanked out your drain - but at least it's gone, - hooray for not having to tote it round with you any more

Ned - people thinking you are 'better' when you are still feeling lousy, seems to be a constant hazard with cancer treatment. I think for some reason people assume that if the hospital have sent you home, you are OK. Of course you will feel very drained, - all those AB's, being in hospital and low neutrophils will mean you fell knocked out.

Take things very easy, - the main thing is to recover and build yourself up for your next chemo. - When I had neutropenia, and was in hospital for a week, they gave me those Build Up milkshakes - good for getting some calories into your body when you don't feel much like eating. - You can get them from any pharmacist (or similar drinks) or probably can get them on prescription form the docs.

Has the hospital given you fluconazole to take?, it stops you getting thrush which is a risk when you've been on a lot of AB's - might be worth asking for some if they haven't.

I love the sound of your Converses

yes ned take no notice of others opinions about being fully recovered- tsk-what do they know.
I'm pretty sure that breast tissue doesn't re grow as it's just mainly fat - think kk is right as radiotherapy can alter the breast tissue etc and the psychological aspect seems important. I have a dent which my surgeon said he could fix (presumably with fillers !) but I think it'd be a kerfuffle and I really don't mind it.

btw custom designed Converses sound fab- I have an old pair of tatty pale blue ones so maybe I should go for purple ? (or is it a no no to have such footwear at my advanced age ?)

I want some converse too. MAS purple ones sound essential imo. You deserve them.