resuming sex life and continence after episiotomy

[chimichanga1976]

I was after peoples' personal experience of when you could comfortably start having sex again ( not that I'm remotely in the mood, mind, sleep deprivation = passion killer! lol ) and also when did your continence ( urinary ) go back to normal?

I gave birth 10th Nov and I'm doing my pelvic floor exercises etc but I still have an accident if I don't get to the loo quick enough. No matter how hard I clench muscles it won't prevent wee coming ready or not!!! Also I seem totally unable to have the sensation of a full bladder, so I just have to make sure I toilet myself regularly like an incontinent elderly person! : (

I know they sever the nerves when they do an episiotomy and you just have to be patient while they grow back, but I forgot to ask Dr how long. Sick of being a Tena Lady! Scared of the time coming when we resume naughtiness aswell as afraid it will hurt.

Thanks in advance!

You might want to ask in the 'childbirth' section for more responses

With dd1 we didn't start having sex for abt 6 weeks (after my period -read sex drive during ovulation- came back) However it was rather painful at certain angles for a good 5 months for me (tho I hear this is rather abnormal). With dd2 it's been 15 weeks because the tear didn't close up and stop hurting enough to even allow gentle touching until last week... still had a few moments of pain now and again.

Good luck (and enjoy)

For every person that answers, you are going to get a different answer (both to the when was sex normal, when did continence return to normal).

I had an episiotomy (extended into a 3a tear, alongside a forceps delivery) - we first had sex after 2 weeks (no pressure from DH before anyone questions that!) and it felt normal again after a few months. It was 'sore' at the scar site for a few months, but I assume that was down to the scar tissue.

I am now 21 months on, and still don't have 'normal' feeling down there but then I never thought that I would so that's not a problem. I just assumed that any nerve damage was permanent but it's not something that bothers me.

However, I never had any kind of incontinence problem.

Thanks for your replies and I might put it in Childbirth section then, to ensure more responses. Cheers x

Hi

I had an episiotomy and forceps delivery with DS1, it was 6 months before sex was painless. I think because stretching the scar tissue isn't v comfy! I had no incontinence tho.

Had quick vaginal birth with DS2 and 2nd degree tear. I then had an infection in my stitches. That said sex was pain free after a couple of months but it took a year before sneezing and laughing with a full bladder wasn't a risky activity!

It generally comes good with time but if it doesn't see the gp. There is something they can do to ease things if you've been stitched too tight or physio to help your pelvic floor.

I was fine and "as new" after about 6 weeks, but mine were done very well (lucky!)