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Original poster

Menopause?? I really hope not.

83 replies

bubble99 · 03/01/2006 19:25

For the last couple of months my periods have been unusual for me. DS3 was born 10 and a half months ago and I think my ovulation was beginning to become a bit screwy when he was conceived, as he was a twin (his twin died).

I stopped B/F completely in September (I think!) First period afterwards was very light but the last three have been very heavy and have lasted for two days longer than usual. Also, mood swings Weepy one day and raging the next (again, unlike anything I've experienced before).

I'm TTC again and was really upset when my last AF showed up (which could explain the weepiness) but it's the raging which bothers me most.
Can anyone, who is either going through or has been through the menopause tell me what their periods were like before they stopped?
My mum was 48 when she went through it, so I'm a few years away (if family history plays a part) I'm 40 in July and I'm going to make an appointment to see my GP to see if I can have an ovarian reserve test, but I'm hoping someone can give me some clues based on their own experiences.

Thanks.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 03/01/2006 19:27

perimenopause? a nurse friend of mine is going thru this. she's had tests to affirm. her mother paused at 48; she's 42.

the best thing is probably to have some tests.

here's hoping it's not!

Aloha · 03/01/2006 19:28

tbh I think the weepiness and raging are more likely to be grief and the stress of TTC than the menopause.

Original poster
bubble99 · 03/01/2006 19:29

Would I still be OV'ing during perimenopause?

OP posts:
Original poster
bubble99 · 03/01/2006 19:34

That's true, Aloha. Christmas was very difficult this year. I've been comforting myself with the thought that I will conceive again. That's why each time AF has shown up over the last few months I've felt progressively worse.

I wonder though if there's a pattern - heavier periods? Or lighter? Shorter or longer etc. when approaching menopause?

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Gingerbear · 03/01/2006 19:35

bubble, google for FSH hormone tests - they are a sign for peri-menopause. Can't remember the science bit, but I am 42 and also TTC with little sucess. High levels of FSH throughout your cycle are a first indicator of onset of menopause. I bought them from here

Aloha · 03/01/2006 19:44

Anything can happen prior to the menopause, but on the other hand, anger and crying are totally normal grieving reactions, and you have very good reason to grieve.

Original poster
bubble99 · 03/01/2006 19:45

Thanks, Gingerbear.

The list of symptoms makes depressing reading as I seem to have three of them already.

I suspect I'm going to need IVF. I feel that I have to conceive again, which I realise is not the state of mind to approach IVF with.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 03/01/2006 19:46

even in perimenopause, which you may not even be in, it's entirely possible to ovulate and conceive. sure thing!

i agree w/aloha, tho, the raging and grief, well, those are not necessarily indicative of menopause at all.

EliBeentoSantasGrotto · 03/01/2006 19:46

Bubble, I'd get some FSH tests done (insist on day 3 of your cycle for them, otherwise they'll need re-doing for accurate picture) which will tell you a bit more. Not 100%, but more. Also E2 (oestrogen) levels could be checked.
I am still perimenopausal at 45, but have actually been in peri for years and years and years...my mother paused at 50, my sister at 40. My periods actually became lighter and very irregular following birth of DD at 43 - not raging, but getting migraines again, as I did during adolescence: for me, its like puberty in reverse - even had spots at times.
Hope you get plenty of reassurance from GP, and if your FSH is ok or even slightly high - try acupuncture/Chinese medicine: two of my friends have had their cycles regulated beautifully that way, and one just had her second baby at nearly 44...didnt' work for me, but it can do. Good luck!

soapbox · 03/01/2006 19:46

I went through an early menopause at 38 - there are some others that post here too!

I was TTC at the end too and did have sporadic periods durung the last year to 18months.

On the favourable side though, it has been virtually symptomless - a bit of racing heart probs but otherwise fine.

I did have periods of black moods which are not like me at all!

I went on to HRT under a fair degree of pressure from docs, but have just stopped them as I felt sort of bland all the time, so I'll let you know if the red mist descends now that I'm not on artificial hormones

It was very hard to come to terms with not having a third child, which we had planned (I had a miscarriage before it all started to go pearshaped! I know how difficult things have been for you and hope very much that you do manage to squeeze a baby in

My mother who also started menopause at 38, was highly bemused to be pregnant with my sister after a year and a half of no periods. So much so that the GP refused to entertain any ideas what so ever that she was pregnant until she was 5 months gone and the doctor finally conceded that perhaps he could feel a swelling in her uterus

chicagomum · 03/01/2006 19:52

Very quick hijack. Bubble when you have a mo. please cat me so I can pick your brain about your "area" so to speak (as DH is losing motivation/interest).

Original poster
bubble99 · 03/01/2006 19:57

After Bo died, Mr Bubble and I decided not to take legal action as we felt it may 'muddy the waters' during the enquiry. The enquiry came back with the 'Our healthcare professionals did everything they could, as soon as they realised what was going wrong' line. This incensed me, as I don't dispute that oce properly qualified and experienced people were involved they did do everything they could. The problem was that a load of inept and inexperienced staff took hours to alert them, by which time it was too late. The Healthcare Comission are now involved but will take another three months (at least) to report back. And I'm not sure what difference they can make, anyway. They can advise changes in practice, extra staffing etc, but ultimately it comes down to the Trust's accountants to provide the money to finance these changes and I'm not holding my breath.

I now feel that I want to take legal action in order to gain compensation money to pay for the IVF which I fear I'm going to now need.

I feel squirmy about the whole thing. Money in return for the life of our baby? I do think, however, that 'a life for a life' seems almost fair.

OP posts:
Gingerbear · 03/01/2006 20:00

Oh Bubble!

Original poster
bubble99 · 03/01/2006 20:02

I'm just so aware of time ticking away now. I could try and conceive naturally for another six months, but I may well have missed the boat by then. I should know this, but does menopause mean that you're not releasing the remaining eggs you have or does it mean that you have no more eggs?

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chicagomum · 03/01/2006 20:02

Oh bubble, I understand what you are saying (although emotionally couldn't possibly comprehend). Is it now the case that "it" is only possible with intervention or are you not waiting until that is the case. BTW (all this aside, with a bit of a highjack - would love to meet up again).

Original poster
bubble99 · 03/01/2006 20:08

Soapy. Thanks for your post.

There obviously is a link then with a woman's mother's menopausal history. I'm hoping my mum's 48 year menopause may save the day for me. (I can see it in a Wonderwoman cape somewhere.)

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SenoraPostrophe · 03/01/2006 20:12

bubble - I had almsot exactly the symptoms you describe when I stopped breastfeeding ds. I don't remember it being like that when i stopped feeding dd (poss because I stopped feeding him quite suddenly). I'm back to normal now. it really might just be that.

Original poster
bubble99 · 03/01/2006 20:15

Chicago. Time is an issue now. I know that lots of women conceive easily and naturally during their forties, but I just don't feel I can take the risk.

I've had a crappy few days, it's all hit me again.

OP posts:
EliBeentoSantasGrotto · 03/01/2006 20:16

((Bubble)) its a case of eggs not being as good 'quality' as they used to be, so fewer of them are liable to make a baby, even if ovulation is still regular. Your body may still be getting back to normal, you know, it can take ages after BFing...hoping for you.
Also, IVF is not always, necessarily, the best way to go with 'older' eggs - which are more fragile - there are a range of less expensive and less intrusive things you could try first (stimulated cycle, IUI, etc) but obviously expert advice needed. And I confess to having leapt staight to IVF when not getting pg at 39: didn't work for me, but I did get info about my crappy eggs as a result.

soapbox · 03/01/2006 20:16

Bubble - best not to let yourself race away with all of this! Go to the GP, you won't have much explaining to do as to why this is very important for you, and get him to run the normal tests.

The GP tests are not terribly sophisticated though, you really need to be referred to an infertility expert to get the most meaningful tests done.

I tend to agree with Aloha, that there are probably better reasons why you are not conceiving than menopause.

I think you need to be kind to yourself and give your body and mind a chance to recover. I know how desperate you must be, but sometimes a could measure of 'what will be will be' goes a long way Infinitely easier said than done, I concede!

picnikel · 03/01/2006 20:16

If it's any help I had the worst PMS ever after stopping BF & was a raging witch for the last 2 weeks of every cycle. If your periods are regular then you are almost certainly ovulating - your GP could check a day 21 progesterone to make sure. HTH

EliBeentoSantasGrotto · 03/01/2006 20:18

ps Ref to menopause, that is - posts moved on while I was putting DD to bed.

tamum · 03/01/2006 20:19

FWIW I thought I was perimenopausal for sure when I finally stopped breastfeeding dd, and for the same reasons as you, in that periods were heavier, I was moodier. It settled back down after a year (maybe less, I can't really remember) and now 5 years later there's still no sign that I really am menopausal.

Original poster
bubble99 · 03/01/2006 20:19

Oh! I hope so, SP. I've felt overwhelmed with something or other, hormones mixed in with grief. Not pretty.

Cheer me up. Tell me about your plans for Three Kings Day. I've always loved that about Spain, Christmas isn't over until the 6th is it?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 03/01/2006 20:19

Bubble
You don't 'know' me, but just to let you know you are in many peoples' prayers and thoughts and I hope that you find yourself expecting VERY soon.

My gran's mum menopaused at 45. But yet my own gran found herself pregnant at 47! She gave birth to a healthy boy who's now a professor of pharmocology at a top university.

Don't give up hope!